by A. M. Arthur
George blinked hard, afraid his stinging eyes would start leaking tears at any moment. “I appreciate the advice. But I’m just here on vacation.”
“So was I,” Miles replied. “So were Wes and Derrick.”
He couldn’t deny those truths, and he’d seen firsthand how happy Derrick and Slater were. It was impossible to guess now if George’s happiness would be with Levi but he was having a lot of fun exploring the idea. “What are you saying? The horses are matchmakers?”
Miles laughed. “I mean, Tango definitely helped bring me and Reyes together. I adore that horse, but not more than I adore my husband. But if we’re bugging you or way off base about something, please let us know. We’ll back off.”
“You aren’t bugging me.” George wasn’t ready to come out to two guys he barely knew before he told his brother, but he did appreciate how kind and honest Miles and Shawn were being. “I’ve been...out of the world for a long time. It’s nice having friends again.”
“You have more than you probably realize. Do you feel up to watching a movie at my cabin? Or would you rather us leave you alone?”
As much as George liked the idea of spending two hours with guys his age, he was exhausted. “I doubt I’ll be awake longer than another hour. Can I get a rain check on the movie?”
“Definitely.”
“Please don’t be a stranger this week,” Shawn said. “Robin and Levi might not be blood related but they are brothers. Levi’s been different since he met you. Happier. I hope you’ve been happier, too.”
The pair didn’t wait for George to reply; they rose as a unit and left the guesthouse. George stared at some random spot on the wall for a while, turned around by the conversation. By all the things Miles and Shawn hadn’t said but had assumed about him and Levi. And it didn’t bother him as much as he expected it to, because he was in a safe place. Clean Slate Ranch was safe, just like the place he lived was safe. Maybe the wider world wasn’t but he was still experimenting with the wider world. Dipping his toes into it.
One day George would be the man he was always supposed to be. It might take some time but he’d get there. And he’d have friends to help him along the way.
* * *
Burt led the evening walk, and he explained that during the summer months they often saw a spectacular sunset. Levi had seen plenty of amazing sunsets in his life, in dozens of different states, but he had to admit Garrett had some of the most beautiful he’d ever seen. Robin had shown Levi his Instagram account and Levi admired the hundreds of sunsets Robin had photographed in tribute to Xander. It had been such a lovely gesture, and Levi had made one of them his phone’s background. The sky had been a gorgeous swirl of purples and reds—two of Xander’s favorite colors.
He walked a bit away from the other guests, enjoying the crisp night air without making conversation. His thoughts were filled with George and their afternoon together. Sex with George had been different from any of the other sex he’d had in the past, and not because George was a virgin and still figuring himself out. He’d felt genuinely seen and accepted by the younger man in ways he’d never experienced with a partner before. Like he had more to offer than a pretty face and washboard abs. He had come close to something similar with Grant, which was why they’d been together so long before imploding.
Everything about George was special, and Levi wanted to hold on for as long as he could. Do things with George and not just in bed. He wanted to romance him and that wasn’t Levi’s best event, but he’d try. For all that he’d stopped dreaming of a future with someone by his side, Levi could see flashes of it with George. But saying anything about it this soon in their relationship might scare George off. Be too big for him to handle.
This nebulous future also scared Levi in its own way. He’d bought a house he could take with him because he enjoyed the nomadic lifestyle. Being able to travel whenever he wanted. After living on the road for his entire life, could he actually settle down in one place? Put down real roots? Or would his wandering spirit always tug him elsewhere?
He had no idea, so he’d keep those feelings close for now.
He wanted to talk to Robin about them but it could wait for another day. Once the group circled back to the guesthouse, Levi went upstairs to his room. George was asleep in his bunk, on his left side facing the room. Only a tiny bit disappointed, Levi brushed his teeth and changed into flannel pajama pants—the room was a bit chilly tonight—and a T-shirt. He played a game on his phone until sleepy, and then settled in.
Creaking springs and thrashing woke him at some point, and Levi sat upright. Moonlight showed him George moving around in his bed, and a few soft whimpers made his heart hurt. Levi slipped out of bed and over to George’s bunk. “Hey, wake up, you’re okay.”
George cried out as he came awake, and he blinked dumbly up at Levi for a few seconds. Then he launched himself into Levi’s arms, breathing hard, fine tremors racing through his entire body. Levi held him tight, one hand cupped protectively around the back of his neck.
“You’re okay, I’ve got you.”
“I fucking hate nightmares,” George whispered, his voice a bit raspy. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“Shush, it’s fine. It got you out of your nightmare faster.” He rubbed gentle circles on George’s back. “Do you remember what it was about?”
“Adrian, as usual. He’s my bogeyman.”
Levi hated that George had nightmares about his former coach, especially knowing the way the man had behaved this past summer. Maybe Adrian’s reputation as a coach had been trashed by George quitting, but Adrian had ruined George’s life and sense of safety. As much as Levi tried not to hold grudges anymore, he truly wanted to see Adrian punished for still being inside George’s head.
George pulled back, blue eyes glistening but also determined. “It was about the night he came to the apartment and hit me. Only Orry was there this time and Adrian started attacking him. I couldn’t move to save him. All I could do was scream but I wasn’t making any sounds. Just a whimper.”
“You’re okay now.” Levi rubbed their noses together. “Orry’s fine.”
“He knows where I live.”
“Yes, you live in a house full of neighbors who will call the cops if he tries to come inside again. And he’d be a complete idiot to try. He has nothing to gain from seeing you again.” Not that obsessive stalkers needed reasons to see their target again and again. Levi had no personal experience with being stalked—Grant had just been a vengeful creep—but he’d heard the stories about Miles’s abusive ex last year. Miles being stalked all the way to the ranch and physically attacked.
“I hope you’re right.” George pressed his forehead into his shoulder. “Thank you. I feel a lot better with you here.”
Levi ran his fingers through George’s golden hair. “Do you have nightmares a lot?”
“No. Not very often. Usually, it’s because something...well, triggers it is kind of a loaded way to say it, but yeah. Something happens. Reminds me of the bad stuff.”
“Was it that moment you had after our first shower?”
George nodded. “Still not your fault, though. It’s all in my head.”
“I accept that.”
“Hey.” He sat up straight. “I know you say you accept it, but do you believe it? Do you believe me when I say it wasn’t you or anything you did?”
“Yes.” Levi had asked for George’s trust; he would offer his in return, no questions. “I believe you. I just hate that you’re still hurting over something you can’t talk to me about. I hope one day you will.”
“Me too.” George lightly pressed his lips to Levi’s. “Thank you for this. It’s nice having someone to wake up to when I’m scared.”
“You’re more than welcome. You okay to go back to sleep?”
“I think so. Good night, Levi.”
“Good night. I hope t
he bogeyman leaves you alone.”
“Me too.”
Levi hugged George before leaving his bed and returning to his own. In the dim light, he watched George settle beneath his covers on his back. He watched George for a long time, until sleep finally stole Levi away again.
* * *
George woke before the sun had risen, likely because he’d gone to bed early the night before, so he spent time simply staring at Levi, who was asleep facing George. Dark hair a mess, one arm bent awkwardly above his head. So handsome George could barely stand it.
His nightmare flitted back, and he reveled in how wonderful it had felt to be held afterward. To be comforted when he was scared. He didn’t have loud nightmares, and they almost never woke Orry. He was glad for that. Orry did so much for him already. And wasn’t that partly what this entire trip was about? Getting George into the world and doing things for himself, so Orry didn’t have to do it all?
Yes. His brother deserved a real life. George deserved a real life. And by God, they’d get it.
His bladder finally urged George out of bed, and by the time he got out of the shower the sun was rising. Not long after, the rooster call sounded, startling Levi awake. George was reading on his bunk when that happened, and he couldn’t help laughing. “Morning.”
“Hey, good morning.” Levi rubbed both palms into his eyes. “You know, the rodeo settled on farmland more times than I can remember, but I swear this is the only time I’ve ever been woken by an actual rooster call.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever heard a live rooster call but whatever Patrice uses is effective. How’d you sleep?”
“Mostly like a rock. How was the second half of your sleep?”
George grinned. “It was good. I know I thanked you before but thank you for comforting me.”
“It was my pleasure.” Levi climbed out of his bed and came over to George’s. Leaned down and rubbed their noses together. “I’m glad I was here.” Before George could say or do more, Levi straightened and went into the bathroom.
As much as George would have liked a good morning kiss, he loved that Levi was respecting boundaries and not pressing for things. If they kissed today, it would be because George initiated it. And George absolutely planned to initiate kissing. As soon as Levi was washed, dried, and dressed from the bathroom, George initiated a lot of kissing with Levi’s back against the wall.
They kissed until George worried about his ability to attend breakfast without tented jeans. “I don’t care about my nightmare. Yesterday was amazing. I know we can’t sneak off to your house every afternoon but I am definitely up for more physical stuff if we get the chance. Here or after this vacation is over.”
“I am very glad to hear you say that.”
No good opportunities arose that day. After breakfast, they went on a group trail ride, and after lunch anyone interested in touring the horse rescue down the road was invited along. George definitely wanted to see it. It hurt his heart to see some of the thin, still-wounded horses in their stalls but he also adored watching one of the women in charge demonstrate some of their rehabilitation methods with a horse named Wicket, who would be able to join the Clean Slate Ranch stable soon.
George had never given a lot of thought to horses before now, and he spent a few minutes chatting with the handlers. He could almost see himself doing work like this. Undoing the damage of cruel owners. Giving these beautiful animals a second chance at life.
Kind of how George was finally getting his second chance.
That night he was too nervous about other guests hearing them to do more than kiss Levi for a long time. He went to bed with a woody but it was worth it.
Thursday afternoon, Levi texted ahead to Wes that he’d be at the cabin to feed the cats, and they spent a long time naked in Levi’s bed. “Can I touch you?” George asked between luxurious kisses and thrusts of their hips.
“You can touch any part of me you want. Please.”
George shifted sideways and studied Levi’s erection. For all the porn he’d watched in his lifetime, this was his first experience with another guy’s dick. He loved the size and shape of Levi’s, and he clasped the root, unsure but curious. It was somehow both hard and velvety soft. George slowly stroked up and down his length, loving the way Levi’s foreskin moved. Levi’s breathing deepened, and George understood what sort of power he had right now. He literally held Levi’s orgasm in the palm of his hand, and it was an intense thing to realize.
“Tell me what you want,” George said, surprising himself with his commanding tone.
Levi moaned. “Whatever you want to give me. Anything, George.”
He wanted to make Levi come with his hand, so George did exactly that, twisting his wrist in an unpracticed way. Using his free hand to massage Levi’s balls, until Levi came over George’s fist and his own stomach. The way Levi gasped for air and his entire body shook was almost too much for George, but he held off on touching himself.
“Wow,” Levi said. “Thank you for that gift.”
“You are very welcome.” Emboldened in a new way—and intensely curious—George did something brand new to him. He leaned down and licked a bit of come off Levi’s abs. The salty, slightly bitter taste fascinated him. He tried more, licking Levi clean before concentrating on his own hand.
Levi watched him with wide, lusty eyes. “I love watching your confidence grow. To see you testing boundaries and trying new things.”
“It’s easier to let go when I know I’m safe.” George stretched out next to Levi and rested his head on Levi’s shoulder. “You make me feel safe to explore my sexuality. And just be me. No front.”
“Do you put up a front for others?”
“Usually. Before this summer, I hardly saw anyone who wasn’t Orry, and I was really uncomfortable the first few times we ate downstairs with Derrick, Slater, Dez and Morgan. And when we came for July 4th, I faked it because I could see how much fun Orry was having when all I wanted to do was go hide in the car.” He traced circles on Levi’s pecs. “I don’t know why it’s so easy to put my guard down with you.”
“I think maybe you do.” Levi tilted George’s chin up and kissed him. “But it’s new and scary and hard to admit.”
George was smart enough to know what Levi wasn’t saying: George was attracted to Levi and had strong feelings for the older man. Feelings couched in more than just being the first person to shine direct—and positive—attention on him in years. “All of the above,” George finally said.
“Same here. You also haven’t gotten off yet, young man. Tell me what you want.”
George’s use of the same words had come across like a command; Levi’s came across more like a reverent question. His courage grew in the face of that question, and George’s cheeks burned when he spoke. “Use your mouth.”
Levi let out that familiar growl an instant before he began a quest to kiss and lick every part of George’s body. Well, every front part, from his throat to his nipples, and further down to dip into his navel. George writhed and laughed and enjoyed the exploration, trusting Levi implicitly. They’d connected on a level George didn’t understand and was incapable of unboxing when his body was soaring with unbridled pleasure and joy.
Levi’s chin bumped his erection, and George cried out from the jolt of stimulation.
Yes, please, soon and thank you.
Warm air blew across his dick a moment before Levi grasped him in one hand. Levi’s steady gaze held his up the length of George’s trembling body. “Thank you for this,” Levi said a moment before closing his lips around the head of George’s dick. The intensity of this brand-new thing short-circuited George’s brain a little bit, and he released a sound part moan and part wail. It rose from the deepest part of himself that had denied his feelings for men for so long. Had denied himself sex of any sort because of his own fears.
He thrashed and made n
oise and came completely undone under Levi’s mouth and hands and care. He had no words to warn Levi he was coming before it happened, and Levi sucked him through it, swallowing every drop like it was the most precious nectar from the gods. Tiny aftershocks left George a trembling mess that Levi pulled into his arms. Levi wrapped the coverlet around their naked bodies and held him while George came down from the biggest high of his entire life.
“Are you with me?” Levi whispered.
“Think so. Wow. I just...wow.” Yeah, no real words yet.
“I loved doing that for you. You were completely free for a little while. Perfectly innocent and beautiful.”
“You’re the only person who’s ever made me feel beautiful. I feel ugly most of the time.”
“What?” Levi dropped several kisses on his forehead, cheeks and nose. “You are beautiful all the time, George. Why do you doubt that?”
“My past.” More naked than ever before, George rolled away from Levi and tried to burrow under the covers. He felt more than saw Levi sit up as the mattress dipped. Then Ginger was on the bed, her orange body curling up close to George’s head. He nuzzled her soft fur with his nose, grateful for the comfort from his favorite kitty.
“You don’t have to tell me about it,” Levi said. “But I’ll listen to anything you want to talk about.”
“It’s not a huge secret if you know where to look online.”
“I know, but when I realized who you were, I chose to let you tell me about your past, rather than finding out things from tabloids or gossip rags. I wanted that trust from you.”
Hot tears stung George’s eyes. “You have that trust, Levi. I just...it’s shameful to talk about. And sometimes I don’t know why I’m ashamed because none of it was really my fault. It was the fault of all the adults in my life who should have valued my physical and mental health over a fucking gold medal.”
