by A. M. Arthur
“I want you in my future,” he whispered to George. “I hope you want me in yours.”
George snuffled once, then settled.
Content with his boyfriend by his side for now, Levi relaxed against his own pillow and tried to fall asleep.
* * *
Levi spent all the next morning lounging in bed with George—minus a quick break to eat an instant oatmeal breakfast for fuel—occasionally having sex, but mostly existing. Watching videos on Levi’s tablet. Talking. Existing. They reluctantly left their bubble to clean up and dress, so they could drive down to the ranch for lunch at the guesthouse with their friends. George practically glowed with confidence, and it made Levi’s heart swell.
He hated driving George back to the truck stop, but he’d agreed to meet Orry there at two. “I feel like a kid being swapped by two divorced parents,” George joked.
“I’d drive you the entire way if I had to,” Levi replied. “You’re worth it.”
That got him a smitten smile that Levi didn’t allow himself to read too far into. They kissed for a while as they waited in their usual side of the parking lot, until a familiar car pulled in on the passenger side. Orry sprang from the car to give George a big hug, as if the pair had been separated for weeks instead of twenty-four hours. George leaned into the cab to grab his gym bag, blew Levi a kiss, and then followed his brother to their car.
Levi sent a quick text: Best Christmas ever. Talk to you soon, sweetheart.
George’s reply came before Orry had completely left the lot: Same. Can’t wait for next time.
With a goofy grin on his face, Levi texted Robin to ask if he was able to go riding in forty-five minutes. About ten minutes into his drive, Robin texted back an affirmative, and Levi returned to the ranch. Since it was the off-season, he parked near the guesthouse and headed for the barn, where Robin was already tacking his favorite horse Apple Jax.
“Hey, man,” Robin said. “Wasn’t sure if you wanted to ride Zodiac or another horse.”
“Has she been exercised yet today?” Levi replied as he strode into the corral.
“Yeah, I saw Scott with her earlier.”
“I’m not picky, so any of the mares who haven’t been out yet.”
“Cool. Finish these straps for me.”
Levi completed saddling up Apple Jax for Robin while he went into the barn. Robin returned a few minutes later with Figuro, the horse George had ridden last week during their vacation. They tacked her together with few words spoken, both of them able to do this task in their sleep. Robin cast him a few curious looks, aware Levi needed to talk to him, but he didn’t ask.
Yet.
Robin waited until they were about a hundred yards down one of the employee paths before he said, “Okay, what’s up? Everything okay with George?”
“Everything is perfect with George. We had an amazing Christmas together. Zero regrets, and I think we’re even stronger than ever. I hated dropping him off today and can’t wait to see him again.”
“So, not George. You and me aren’t fighting. Do you have any other friends you could be having issues with?”
Levi snorted. “I’m not having issues, exactly. Yesterday, when I talked to Dad he told me something that I’m having trouble with, and he didn’t swear me to secrecy. I need to talk it out with you, brother.”
“Now I’m intrigued.” Robin slowed Apple Jax so they were riding side by side along the trail. He tossed Levi a curious look. “Hit me.”
“Dad’s retiring at the end of the season.”
Robin’s entire body jerked with shock. “He’s what? Why?”
“A promise he made to Mom before she died.” His chest squeezed with old grief. “They were supposed to spend their retirement traveling the world. Now he plans on traveling alone in her honor.”
“But...what about Lucky’s?”
“That’s the thing.” He reined Figuro to a stop and it took Robin a few steps to pull Apple Jax back. “He asked me to take over the rodeo when he retires.”
Robin’s lips parted, his eyes going comically wide for an instant. “I mean... I knew he always intended for you and Xander to take over Lucky’s one day, but this soon? What did you say?”
“I told him I couldn’t make a decision, and I can’t. I walked away from Lucky’s for a reason, just like you did. I never intended to go back. I love working at Bentley, and I love being here. I’ve got George. But sometimes...”
Robin backed Apple Jax up until they were next to each other, his expression intense. “Sometimes what?”
“Sometimes I miss traveling.” A bit of weight left Levi’s chest with the admission. “Sometimes I miss the road. To be honest, if I hadn’t met George, I probably would have driven down to Santa Fe during this break to see Dad. I don’t know if I’m the kind of guy who will ever have permanent roots, like you and Shawn are gonna have with your house. It’s why I hitch mine to the back of my truck.”
“So you’re considering it?”
“I don’t know. I’m not dismissin’ it outright. Dad said he’s considering selling to Willard, but that’s his number two choice.”
Robin scowled. “Sounds like emotional—”
“Please don’t say emotional blackmail, because you know that isn’t Dad. He was laying out his options, and selling is an option. He’ll be done and can move on, do something new with his life. He’s happy knowing you and I are safe and enjoying our lives, he really is. I didn’t get any sense of pressure from him to take over. I hate the idea of someone else who isn’t a Peletier running the rodeo, but... I don’t know if I can do it. Or if I even want to.”
His best friend and brother studied him for a long time. “But you also aren’t sure if you don’t want to.”
“Pretty much.” Levi let out a long, slow breath that did nothing to focus him. “A part of me wants to say yes, to go back to that life. But the rest of me chafes at the idea of going back to such a stressful lifestyle. Always on the move, always trying to make the next gig. Praying for good weather and a good crowd so we can break even.”
“Sounds like the part that chafes isn’t stronger than the part that wants to say yes.”
“I wish it was.” And Levi meant it. He wanted to settle down and have roots, but what if that wasn’t him? Or his future? Maybe his future was traveling across the country. But what about George? This was why he needed to talk to his brother. “I honestly don’t know what I want.”
“Have you talked to George about this?”
“No. Dad just brought it up yesterday, and this thing I have with George is still so fresh. I don’t want to pressure him, and Dad said I have a few months to decide. I wanted to talk to you, because you’re the most likely to get it.”
Robin quirked an eyebrow. “George might surprise you.”
“Maybe, but he’s still young and figuring himself out.”
“You know, if Shawn found out I was withholding something this big because I didn’t think he was mature enough to handle it, he’d probably deck me.”
The mental image of the much slimmer Shawn decking Robin made Levi snort. “I don’t think George is immature. Far from it. It’s just...” Levi struggled to find the words to describe his feelings. “I don’t want him to make a decision based on what he thinks I might want.”
“Do you trust George to know his own mind?”
“Of course.”
“Then talk to him about this. I had a similar problem last year with Shawn. When I flew out to New Mexico to drive back with Lucky’s for opening day? I made the decision and travel plans before I told Shawn about it, and he had real, genuine fear that I was going to decide I wanted to go back to the rodeo. It didn’t exactly drive a wedge between us, but we did have a few tense days where he thought I was leaving him.”
“But you weren’t and you didn’t.”
“I kno
w that, and he knows that now.” Robin reached out to rub Apple Jax’s neck. “Sometimes fear is not rational, especially when it comes to relationships. If you can’t say no straight out to Dad, then you need to talk to George about it.”
“I will. Soon. I want us to get through the rest of the holidays first. And maybe see how things go once I’m back to work full time. Neither of us has ever done a long-distance relationship, and when Bentley opens again, I’ll be a lot busier than I’ve been since I met George.”
“Yeah, you will. And even busier if you go on tour with Lucky’s.”
“Unlikely.”
“But not impossible?”
Levi shrugged, annoyed at himself for being unable to turn Dad down flat. He loved the life he had right now; he also loved the life he used to live with the rodeo. And he couldn’t make himself turn Dad down flat, once and done. He hadn’t been this turned around and confused since before rehab.
“I want to sit with this for a while,” Levi finally said. “Just allow the information to exist in my head and do its own thing. One of the things I learned about myself in therapy is that I can’t force a decision. Reacting impulsively is why I left Lucky’s and ended up in jail, Robin.”
“Shit, man, I’m not trying to push you. Just...be thoughtful.”
“That’s what I’m trying to do. I’ll talk to George about it when it feels right. Now is just too soon for us and for how new and fragile everything is.”
“You’re right, and I have one more question, and then I promise I’ll drop it.”
“Ask.”
“How will George react when he finds out you got the rodeo offer on Christmas, but he doesn’t hear about it until weeks after the fact?”
Levi tilted his face to the sky. “I don’t know, brother. I truly do not know.”
* * *
George spent the week between Christmas and New Year’s in a state of immeasurable joy. He worked on his caption assignments during the day as usual, but his lunch breaks were often spent video chatting with Levi while they both ate their meals. Sometimes Levi ate outside, but mostly indoors, as Garrett was apparently experiencing a cold snap. Even the cats were spending more time in the tiny house than usual, and it was fun watching Sporty try to snag bits of Levi’s lunch.
Twice, Levi drove into the city and they shared dinner together. Both times they got takeout, found a spot near a public park, and ate in the bed of the truck. The picnics were chilly but also a lot of fun, even if he still battled the occasional panic attack. George could be out in the world without being too close to crowds of people like they would in a restaurant.
Like he would on New Year’s Eve.
He and Orry had agreed on a double date that night. A locally owned restaurant Orry delivered for was doing a ticket-only buffet dinner that began at nine o’clock, and he’d scored cheap tickets for the four of them. Orry had promised George that it was a maximum of a hundred people, and the restaurant was spacious enough that they wouldn’t be jammed in like so many New Year’s crowds seemed to be. George was nervous as hell about the dinner but also excited to both meet Zoey and hang with his brother in a real social situation. And to show off his boyfriend a little.
Levi drove into the city on New Year’s Eve and arrived at the apartment at seven so they could hang out for a while. Someone, probably Dez, had decorated the downstairs living room with festive white and gold decor, and they chilled down there with Derrick and Slater, who were heading for Derrick’s brother’s house in a little while for a small family celebration.
Around eight, Orry showed up with his girlfriend and George finally got to meet Zoey. She was taller than Orry, with a lean frame, short purple hair, and heavy makeup that dared you to criticize anything about her. George liked her immediately. They hung out and chatted until it was time for their two groups to split for their evening destinations.
Orry drove, since their shared car could hold four people, and George didn’t mind sitting in the back with Levi. He held Levi’s hand, happy to have his boyfriend nearby while his insides bounced all over the place. Levi watched him the entire way with an adoring smile that made George feel so seen he almost couldn’t stand it. As they neared the venue, George closed his eyes and did a few rounds of deep breathing.
The restaurant had valet parking, which was kind of cool, and Zoey checked her coat just inside the building. George practically adhered himself to Levi’s side once they entered the throng but there was enough room that it wasn’t oppressive or claustrophobic. They all got drinks, and when the buffet opened at ten, George treated himself to samples of things he’d never tried before: mini spinach quiche, fried mushrooms, sausage and squash skewers, and so many other things.
All the food was amazing, and George genuinely liked Zoey. She told an abundance of stories of her earlier life as a waitress in a restaurant similar to this one, and George almost couldn’t believe how horribly people could act. And how rude they could be to waitstaff for simply doing their jobs.
At eleven, the food began to clear, music came up, and folks started dancing in the open space. While they weren’t the only same-sex couple in the restaurant, George was still nervous to go out there with Levi. They stayed at their table even after Orry and Zoey went out to dance.
“I’m proud of you,” Levi said to him. “Just for being here but you also seem extremely calm.”
“I’m a little jumpy inside,” George admitted. “But it helps having you and Orry both nearby. A month ago, I never imagined I’d be in a place with this many people, but I am. And I think I’m doing okay.”
“Good. Being sociable really does suit you, George. You’re practically glowing right now.”
“I used to love being the center of attention. Once upon a time, I was a kid who knew how to ice skate really well, and people watched me. They applauded me. They threw flowers at me.” His smile dimmed. “But then it stopped being fun. And I hated people staring at me. Glaring at me. Mocking me for quitting. And I disappeared.” George took Levi’s hand and squeezed. “You helped me find myself again. I’ll always battle with my anxiety but I don’t have to let it control my life.”
“It has been my genuine pleasure and honor to know and help you. You get to begin a brand-new year soon. Fresh start, clean slate. The new George Thompson.” He held up his glass of sparkling water. “To you.”
George grinned, joy bubbling up inside him like the fizzing liquid in his champagne flute. “To me, and to us.”
They tapped their rims together and drank. Sat side by side and watched others dance. At five minutes to midnight, they joined Orry and Zoey on the dance floor with their drinks. A television screen mounted for the occasion broadcasted the ball drop in Times Square. With more joy in his heart than George ever expected to feel, he counted down the last ten seconds with the crowd, his arm tight around Levi’s waist.
He counted down the end of his old self, his old secluded life, and he rang in the New Year with hope for every day yet to come. That he would continue to grow, to embrace his new life, and to be the very best person he could for his family, his boyfriend, and for the new friends he was making both in the city and at Clean Slate Ranch.
To my future. Please, let it be a great one.
Chapter Twenty-One
George expected to spend the night at home with Levi, but Levi surprised the hell out of him by willingly driving them both all the way to Garrett and the privacy of his tiny house. They slept in, both too tired to do more than collapse with all three kitties somewhere close by, and it was the best night of George’s life.
The best next day, too. They spent New Year’s Day doing a whole lot of nothing other than snacking and sex. Leading up to the new year, George had given serious thought to taking the next step into anal sex, but he couldn’t see them taking that step yet. Maybe one day in the future but not now. He loved the sex they had, and Levi seemed perfec
tly content with it, too. They were creating their own relationship, their own rules. They didn’t have to measure what they did or did not do against other couples.
An orgasm was an orgasm, and George adored everyone single one he shared with Levi.
The next week passed in a similar way to the previous one with two big changes. First, Shawn and Robin closed on their house, and George enjoyed a celebratory teleconference call with the pair plus Levi to toast the good news. George even got a phone tour of the house, which needed a lot of TLC but was charming and just the right size for the couple. The second change, which George kept to himself for now, was a cold call to Arthur Garrett’s horse rescue inquiring about employment.
George still thought about the rescue and the horses they brought in for rehabilitation. Some of those beautiful animals ended up at the ranch. Others were sold to vetted owners. Some retired at the rescue for the rest of their natural days, and George was interested in the process. While they didn’t have any current openings for someone like him (with no actual experience with horses or rehab), it was tangible proof to George that he was open to a new career. To doing something bigger than closed-captions for porn. Maybe even moving closer to Levi.
With the ghost town due to reopen in roughly two more weeks, Levi’s spare time was dwindling. George decided to take a bit of extra time off—and by time off, he crammed in as much work as he could into three whole days so he could take three more off—and spend a few days with Levi. That turned into spending time with Shawn and Robin, and helping them do some work around their new house.
The house was midcentury, one story with two bedrooms and one and a half bathrooms. Their patch of land was small, but the backyard showed remnants of what might have once been a vegetable garden and could be replanted if the pair got ambitious. The floor plan was a little boxy, compared to how open George’s apartment was, but Shawn and Robin also didn’t have the budget for a huge renovation to open it up. For now, the pair said, this house would work for them.
