by Marie , J
“You tell me if you want me to stop. If I do something you really like, let me know too. I want to make you feel good, Cass.”
I nodded once again and that was all the permission he needed. His mouth found my core and I was lost in him. His first lick was cautious, as if he was trying to decide what to do first. I didn’t comment. I wanted him to decide what he wanted to do. This was a big deal for him. It was a first for not only him, but for both of us. His fingers trailed up my inner thighs teasing as they went. When they reached my core, he pulled back the lips of my sex to gaze at me, arousal taking me under. He looked like he was calculating each way he could bring the most pleasure from me.
Lost in the bliss of him simply doing something to make me feel good because he wanted to. Not because he felt an obligation. His tongue came down slowly to taste me again. He flicked me until I was a fireball ready to explode. It was hard to believe that he was this good for never doing it before, but I believed him when he said he hadn’t. Maybe he was just that talented. Or maybe he had actually been picturing this for years. That thought made me feel like I should be nervous of his expectations, but if the noises he was making against my skin were any indication, I had nothing to worry about.
He groaned against me, vibrating my core and lighting me up.
I’m slick and wet for him and I want more. I need more. His hot hand slides down me and I adjust so it goes to where I need it most. I trembled, my eyes widening in the pleasure and heat coursing through me.
“Beau…”
“You like that sweetheart?”
“More… I need more.”
His first finger was thick for me. I’d been a while since I’d had sex and I was tight. I could feel it. A second finger slipped in and filled me up more. He was doing things to my body that I couldn’t explain other than the truth that it was the most alive I’d felt in years. When his finger slid over a certain spot I moaned. I was as inexperienced as he was when it came to this. I’d never pleasured myself so I didn’t know why that spot he kept hitting felt so good, but I wanted more. His eyes found mine.
“There?”
“Yes. Right. There…More.”
He kept his rhythmically moving fingers there and dipped his head again to my clit and sucked gently. The intense sensation of his mouth on me combined with what he was doing on the inside was making me feel something I couldn’t explain. I’d never had an orgasm before so if this was what it felt like I was in heaven.
Whatever it was started to build inside me, my breath coming shorter and harder as I neared the edge. At the last moment he pulled his fingers from me and replaced it with his tongue. I was officially done for, gone for him.
“You taste amazing, Cass. The perfect mix of sweetness and you. I could do this for days.”
My brain was a jumble of thoughts, words, and feelings that I couldn’t explain. Not with his tongue doing such delicious things to me. I was spiraling down. I was so turned on right now that if he asked me to go all the way I would. Thinking about his cock in me made me hot and bothered.
“I’m…”
It’s all I get out before I fall into bliss, ecstasy. My world explodes with color, flowers bloom all around me and I’m lost in the high carrying me away. I cover his face in wetness and he drinks me. Licking his lips, he looks up at me. “You’re so sexy.” His tongue came out and swiped along his bottom lip. “You came all over me and you taste delicious. Sweet and simply you.”
Oh, well that’s awkward. I turned my face away to hide my embarrassment.
“Hey, look at me, Cass.”
I shook my head. No. I couldn’t.
“Cass, it’s not a bad thing. It’s pretty sexy actually. Especially when you do it. I can’t tell you how long I’ve been dreaming of doing that with you.”
“So, you’ve…” I nodded to his pants.
“Yes, I’ve jerked off before…”
“Oh, have you ever…”
“Have I ever?”
“You know…” I waved my hand in the general direction of the second bulge in his pants for tonight.
“I’m going to need you to spell it out for me.”
“Fine, have you ever… jerked off to me?”
He shook his head. “You don’t want to know the answer to that, Cass.”
“Oh, but I think I do.”
“Let’s just say my cock got sore… it was so much.”
I felt my eyes bulge out of my head. I didn’t know that was possible, but it made sense.
“So… did you enjoy it?” He was looking at me like my answer was important to him. Like he needed to know that he’d done something that caused me pleasure. I wasn’t exactly sure at that moment how to tell him that it was the most personal and intimate I’d ever been with another human. More so than sex even. Especially with Andrew. I cringed at myself for comparing them yet again, but I didn’t have any other experience with it. He looked away and his face saddened.
“Yes. I did a lot. It’s just… I’ve never…I didn’t know I could…”
“That’s the first time you’ve ever had an orgasm?”
“Yes.” My eyes found the floor, yet again embarrassed.
“Hey, don’t do that. Don’t be embarrassed, Cass. It makes me happy that I was your first. That I could make you come, being as inexperienced as I am, darlin’.”
A satisfied smirk covered his face and touched his eyes and it was at that moment I realized we would never, ever go back to the way things were. Now we were attached, feelings deeper than just a simple like. I was falling head over heels for my high school crush and I felt like such an idiot for not seeing him all those years ago.
Today was the start of the town countdown to the fair. There was a certain tension in the air and I didn’t understand why. The last couple of weeks with Cassidy Mae had been like a dream. After the first time we messed around, she wasn’t as shy with expressing her desire to do certain things with me. She’d let me do things to her body, worship her in a way I’d been dreaming about for years. The one thing I really wanted still hadn’t happened, but I wasn’t rushing it.
Some days I wanted to pinch myself thinking maybe I truly was dreaming. Maybe I’d died and was stuck in Cassidy heaven. I was okay with that. The guys told me I was whipped and if I was whipped for Cassidy Mae then so be it. Maybe it was immature having these thoughts about her, but damnit I didn’t care.
Early this morning I’d gotten on Zeus for the first time. Months of working with him and he was finally coming around. He was going to be a good horse when it was said and done. I had plans for him. Cassidy Mae didn’t know it yet, but Zeus would be hers someday. I just had to make sure he was completely safe first
Cass had Oakley out running barrels this morning before the summer heat took over. It was unnecessary to run horses in hot weather. They were looking good and I was proud of her. Not only had she worked to bring Oakley up to speed for barrels, but she’d also done a lot of changing and growing in the few months she’d been here. When I first saw her she was skittish and jumpy like a horse that’s been abused one too many times. Over these last few months, she’d become more independent and didn’t jump at everything that went bump in the night.
The whole crew was gathered in the kitchen, chatting about the horses and the upcoming events while they piled meat and cheese on their sandwiches. I sat back and watched. Cassidy Mae was interacting with everyone. She’d seemingly fit right into our little crew. She was a part of us now and I wasn’t letting her go. In the back of my mind, I still had worries. I had concerns. We hadn’t heard from her husband’s brother in a few weeks now, but I knew he’d show up at some point and we all had to be ready.
We all grabbed seats around the table, while the conversation continued. Cassidy piped up and hassled Remington about something. Reagan teased Rhett about something. I shook my head. I didn’t like the two of them together, but I’d accepted it. Reagan was right. She was a grown adult and if she was putting her eggs in Rhett
’s basket, so to speak, then I had to let her fall on her face. She’d learn. Who knows maybe she’s what Rhett had been missing all these years? Maybe she’d be the one to finally calm down his playboy ways. There was only so much protecting a big brother could do, and unfortunately, hearts weren’t in that protection contract. Remy and Faith were jostling each other back and forth talking about a four-wheeler ride later that afternoon.
My eyes fell back to Cassidy Mae sitting beside me at the table and I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face when she looked over and winked at me. I was done for, completely in love with this girl. I reached over and let my hand trail up her leg, under the skirt she was wearing, and the blush that crossed her face gave me the slightest chuckle. She was shy, but she liked it when I touched her. A small touch here, a tender kiss there. My lips pressed against the softness of her downy skin. The smell of her perfume when I got her all worked up. Her squeal when I made her come. The giggle she gave only to me when she found something absolutely funny. The way her eyes sparkled when I brought her flowers or told her she was pretty.
Life seemed perfect and I wanted to live in the land of perfection just a little while longer. I leaned over and whispered softly in her ear. My hot breath landed against her skin and gained me a small shiver. “You want to go to the springs with me in a little bit?”
“Yes.” She grinned up at me.
“Clothing is optional this time, Cass.”
“Oh, is it?”
“I’m leaving it in your hands. Like I said… you decide where this goes and how far. I’m not pushing, but I’m ready to have all of you, Cass. I’ll say this and leave it at that. You give me all of you and there’s no turning back. You’ll have all of me in return. Everything. You’re it for me. You have been for a long time and I don’t plan on going anywhere.”
She opened her mouth to speak, but then closed it. I could see her shutting down. We’d had several moments recently. Times where she was open and free to let me love her and give her pleasure, but I could see her starting to rebuild those walls over a few of the words I’d said.
I waited for her to continue. “I don’t know what to say, Beau. I want you, I want this…but I’m scared. I know we’ve done some things and I’m glad we’ve gotten closer but you have to understand that change is scary and I’m terrified of giving away my heart.” Her eyes found the floor and I could see the doubt pooling in her eyes.
“Cassidy Mae, look at me.”
She shook her head, reverting back to her former self of indecision.
I leaned over and bumped her shoulder with my own. “Hey… babe.”
She finally looked up at me and I leaned in to kiss her cheek.
“I know change is scary, but I don’t want you to be scared of us… I want you to feel confident in opening up to me. In letting me in. When I say I want all of you, I want everything. Bring me your fears, your goals, your dreams, your passion, your love. I want to be equals and face this life together. I have no intention of controlling you. You’re a strong, independent, smart woman, and the fact that Andrew never really saw it kills me inside. Give me a chance. Please, babe.”
“I promise to try, Beau. I want to be an us.”
I spent the rest of the afternoon working on chores around the farm. Mucking stalls, working in the office going over invoices, and calling people. Midway through the afternoon, Remington found his way into my office and sat down. He didn’t say anything, just sat and waited for me to finish what I’d been working on.
“What’s up, Rem?”
“Women are horrible creatures put on earth to torment us, make us fall for them, and then leave us when we need them most. I don’t even know why I try anymore. Maybe I should just give up at this point. I clearly ain’t getting through to that damn woman and I don’t think I’m ever going to.”
“Faith?”
He nodded. “I fucked up once, Beau. One time. One indiscretion. The worst mistake of my life and now she thinks I’m a grade-A douchebag. I don’t know how to fix it.”
“Rem, have you ever apologized and explained what happened to Faith?”
He sighed and shook his head, “I’ve tried. Many times. She doesn’t want to hear it.”
“Maybe instead of telling her, you should show her. Do something nice for her. Invite her out to dinner, buy. Leave her love notes and apology notes so she sees that you’re trying. ‘I’m sorry’ are just two words. Do something. Anything…”
He shrugged his shoulders.
“I don’t know, man. You know I’m not the dress up and go somewhere fancy type of guy. Not even a fancy restaurant in this town to go to. I’ve never been poetic either. That’s girl shit.”
“Next town over is Maggie’s. Nothin’ super fancy, but it’s real nice. River view, the food’s good.”
“Is it pricey?”
“You love that girl?”
“Well, yeah.”
“Price shouldn’t matter then, but if you need me to loan you some money to take her out, I will. You know I’ll always help in any way I can.”
“Thanks, man. Not sure she’ll go for it, but I’m willing to do whatever it takes to get her back. So, enough about me. What’s going on with you and Cassidy Mae?”
“Not much. Thought things were going in the right direction. She seemed to be on board with how things were going and then she gets a little squirrely. Like she isn’t sure about us. I don’t know what to do. I am not him. I’ll never be him, but she’s definitely still stuck on her past. She thinks he’s dead, but I think the real thing holding her back is fear of change. I haven’t got any idea how to fix it though.”
“You have any idea what actually happened to her?”
“She told me bits and pieces, but I don’t know if it was the whole story or not.”
“Man, I have a feeling you wouldn’t like the whole story even if you knew it. You could tell the second she came home she wasn’t the same.”
“You’d know something about treating a girl like crap, wouldn’t you?”
“Not fair. You don’t know why I did it.”
“Well, then enlighten me…”
“I’d rather not. Now, back to Cassidy Mae.”
“Fine, I’ll stop talking about it, but whatever you did to her wasn’t right and you know it. Good reason or not. I suspect a whole lot of making up is in your future. As far as Cass goes, she asked for time and as much as it kills me, that’s what I’m going to have to do.”
He shook his head and the air between us was silent. I knew we were both thinking about things in our own mind space. I wanted to get us off this topic and onto something that would be better.
“So, you riding any broncs at the fair this year?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “Don’t know yet. Probably not. Faith never liked me riding those death traps anyhow.”
I scoffed. “Hey now, broncs aren’t as bad as riding a bull.”
“True story, but still don’t think she’d be okay with it. She may not like me right now but I’m not gonna piss her off on purpose.”
I put my hands up. “Fair enough.”
“How ‘bout you? Cassidy Mae got you itching to ride one of them broncs?”
I shook my head from side to side.
“Not a chance.”
I wouldn’t ride one of those if someone paid me.
The horse show was last Saturday. Tomorrow started the livestock shows and then Saturday was the barrel racing preliminary races. Cassidy Mae and Oakley were ready, had been since last week. They were going to be fierce competitors this year and no one knew it was coming either. We hadn’t told anyone that she was competing this year, per her request. She said she wanted the wow factor, but I knew it was more along the lines of she didn’t want to be embarrassed if it didn’t work out in her favor. She was still insecure most days and even though she tried to portray her life like she had everything under control, I knew the difference.
As I drove past the fairgrounds, I n
oticed that everything was already set up for tomorrow. It was the opening day of the fair. It would run through the following Sunday. I had a plan and I was going to follow through on it. I was going to ask Cassidy Mae on another date. Another real date with her that would include stuffed animals won from shooting games and a funnel cake from the food stand. Then she’d know I was willing to take this as slow as she wanted to go. I got home an hour later and went on my search for my lady. I had a woman to ask out.
I grabbed the flowers I’d purchased, climbed out of my truck, and ran into the house, searching the kitchen, living room, and bedrooms. No such luck. I couldn’t find her anywhere. The bathrooms were empty as well. I was frantic and I hate to say that my heart started pounding thinking the worst. I took a deep breath trying to calm myself. One deep breath in. Two deep breaths out.
Once I was calm, I walked out to the barn to look for my girl. There she stood, my goddess, my Selene, perfection in the middle of the aisle brushing down Oakley. They must’ve just gotten done with their training for the day and she was a sight to see.
“Well, howdy sweetheart. You sure are a sight for sore eyes.”
A smile crept across her face and a blush spread over her cheeks as emerald-colored eyes found mine.
“Beau Montgomery, I need you to be less of a charmer.”
“Never for you, sweetheart. You deserve all the charm I can muster.”
“How am I supposed to resist you when you keep being sweet to me?”
I winked.
“The answer to that question is simple- don’t.”
She shook her head and went back to cleaning Oakley.
“How can I help you?”
“Well, you could agree to be my date for the opening day of the fair tomorrow.”
“Beau…” Her hand dropped from brushing Oakley and she looked over at me.
“It’s just a night with you and me. I’m not asking for anything fancy. Hell, we don’t even have to call it a date, but I sure wish we could. Let me do something nice for you. Let me take you out and show you a good time. Please.”
