by Marie , J
Zeus ran across the earth like a fallen God. Big, feathered feet, a black mane, and tail as black as the night sky. It was almost as if he was dancing, he moved with such grace and presence. When Beau stepped out in front of him to have him stop, Zeus stopped instantly and licked his lips. He was ready for everything.
He walked up slowly to Zeus, patting his dark head. “You ready to try this, boy?”
Zeus neighed as if he knew exactly what Beau was asking of him. Beau did several lifts up like he was going to mount him. He was testing him. Giving him a moment to get used to the feel of someone on him. Time to adjust and get a feel for riding. On the fourth time, he actually mounted Zeus. Together they looked like Gods, not simply mere mortals placed on this earth to rule the ground below them. I was awestruck. A smooch of his lips had Zeus driving forward into a trot. Zeus moved over the ground in a fluid motion—front legs flaring out in front of him, back legs raised in a prance almost.
I watched as he took him through his paces. Not one buck or kick. Only acceptance and trust flowed through the pair.
They slowed to a stop in front of me and my eyes met Beau’s chocolate brown ones. “You ready, Cass?”
My eyes widened in shock, “Wait, you were serious? You’re going to let me ride him?”
He smiled at me, “Well, he’s yours so I’d think you would want to ride him.”
Confusion flooded my face, “He’s mine… what do you mean, Beau?”
He leaned down from the saddle and kissed me, “Happy Birthday, Cassidy Mae.”
“How… how did you know?” I knew that today was my birthday but I didn’t want anyone else to know. He must have found out from Reagan. I hadn’t celebrated a birthday in years. Andrew never bothered to care if it was a day that was important to me.
“Well, I happen to remember from all those years ago. Plus, Reagan has zero filters, Cass. You should know this. She’s your best friend.”
I rolled my eyes, “Of course, she did. You’re really, honest to God giving me Zeus?”
“He’s all yours, sweetheart. Has been since the day you first laid eyes on him. Then the weeks you sat with him waiting to get comfortable with you. Don’t think I didn’t notice how you fell in love with this horse.”
Excitement filled me. “Oh my God, Beau. I can’t believe it!”
He quirked an eyebrow at me. “Well, you wanna ride or not?”
“YES!” I yelped, then cringed as Zeus flinched over my loud exclamation. “Yes…” I said quieter, reminding myself that he was still inexperienced. Beau hopped down from the saddle and Zeus stood quietly as I got up onto his back. I could see everything from up here. Zeus was so tall. I felt like I was literally on top of the world.
His movements felt slow and poetic like he truly was dancing on the surface of the earth, just as I’d suspected. A huge smile tore across my face at my overwhelming feelings. This man had rescued and given me this magnificent horse for my birthday. We flew around the round pen and I couldn’t help but hold out my arms as he ran. He was an angel, a God, a demon in horse clothing simply flying across the Earth. My breathing was heavy, my heart pounded.
I felt alive, free, in love.
Love?
I really was in love. I’d let myself believe for so long that I needed to keep my heart guarded from Beau. That he would break me, but he’s proven every step of the way that he only wants what is best for me. I rode for just a while longer enjoying every minute of the moment.
I slowed Zeus to a walk and stopped when we got to where Beau stood.
“Okay… let’s give him a break. I need to go get the poultice off Oakley’s legs and gently work her today. I just want to get her a little warmed up for tonight. I don’t plan to run her hard.”
I dismounted and fell to the ground. I hadn’t realized how far the downfall would be, which was apparently proving to be prominent in most parts of this life. But I was also realizing that it was worth it.
“I still can’t believe you’re giving him to me. I think that’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done. You’re one of the good ones..”
“I’m glad you’re happy.”
“You’ve made me incredibly happy and grateful that this is where I ran home to after my life turned to shit. I think I’m falling in love with you, cowboy. You’ve done and stole my damn heart.”
“I’m just so damn glad you came home to me, Cass. I’m in love with you and I’m so damn glad.”
The rest of the afternoon passed by slowly, like sand in an hourglass. It seemed as though we were all waiting for this night to begin. Excitement hung in the air and the farm crew couldn’t stop talking about the events of the evening. They were making plans to watch the barrel racing followed by drinks and karaoke.
We’d spent the afternoon getting stuff together to transport the horses to the arena. Some of the guys were taking a couple of the younger horses so they could get used to being in crowds and different places, in addition to being trailered. Oakley was an old pro at this stuff, so we knew she’d show the young’uns how it was done.
When we got to the fair, Beau and the guys took the horses to the barn where they would be housed during the events the next couple of days. I wanted to go. To be completely immersed in all the inner workings of this tiny little fair.
My eyes fell to the arena. It was set up and I wanted a moment to get myself into the zone. Tonight, was about me, Oakley, and second chances.
A chance to slip into my former life before all the shit went down.
Before I met him.
Before he ruined me.
Before I broke.
I walked up a couple of steps on the bleachers by the arena and dusted off an area to sit. I sat there for a while.
Thoughts about my life with Beau came to mind. I knew I wanted everything with him. Running the farm, living our lives until we were old and gray like my parents. Raising children that ran around the farm just like we’d done as kids.
What would our children look like?
The thought popped into my mind and I quickly shook it away. No mention of marriage had been made. For a moment, I was sad and a tear slipped from my eyes. I didn’t even notice that Beau had come looking for me. I’d been so lost in my own thoughts that I never saw him sit down next to me. He put his arm around me, pulling me into his side.
“You okay, darlin’? ” He reached out lifting my chin to look up into his dark brown eyes. I sniffed and cleared my throat. “Oh yeah, just stupid happy tears. Thinking too much.”
“You ever want to talk about it, you know I’m here right?”
“What are we doing, Beau? I mean… what’s your five-year plan? Where do you see this going?”
“Marriage, kids, happily ever after…why the questions?”
“You want to get married?”
“Of course, I do, Cass. I’d marry you tomorrow if I knew you were ready.”
“But what was all that stuff you said about being written in the sand a little while ago? Sand runs away with the slightest touch of rain. It blows away with the slightest breeze. It swirls in insecurity. Is that what you see for us?”
“Cassidy Mae… when you first came home, our story was uncertain. I didn’t know that you were going to walk back into my life, but the second you did I knew I was completely gone for you. I knew that I would wish for you to never leave my side because I couldn’t breathe without you. You’ve become the oxygen in my life. The blood urging my heart to continue to beat. The love of my life and I know that it’s only been a short few months, but that’s the truth of it. So yes, you could say that our love story started out being written in the sand, but it’s going to be written in the stars forever, darlin’. And if it takes till my dying breath to make you feel my love, then I hope to live forever. You’re it for me.”
Another tear slid down my cheek, only this time it wasn’t over sadness. It was joy.
“Then ask me.”
“Ask you what?”
“Ask me, Bea
u Montgomery…I’ll say yes,” I whispered.
His brow quirked, “Darlin’ are you asking me what I think you are?”
A smile tore across my face and I nodded.
“I don’t have the ring with me right now. It’s at home, but I don’t want to wait any longer. I’ve been in love with you since I was old enough to recognize you as a gorgeous girl and not a day went by where I wish I hadn’t stepped up and made a move. I told you how I felt, but now you’re back and you’re here with me and I promise that I will spend the rest of my life loving you like you’re meant to be loved. Like you’re the most precious gift I’ve ever been given.”
He leaned in and kissed me as if he couldn’t wait one single second longer to do it.
“I won’t take you for granted. I promise to give you all of me for the rest of our lives until we’re old and gray. Until our kids are old and grown until I draw my last breath on this Earth. Will you marry me, Cass, and make me the luckiest damn man in the world.”
During his speech, he lowered to one knee and now he was eye to eye with me. I watched as a tear slipped and fell down his cheek. He had the biggest smile plastered to his face, but I could tell he had some nerves there too. Possibly at the thought, I’d back out last minute, not meaning to tell him to ask me. He looked at me with hope, with love, like I was his whole world, and my answer hung in the balance.
“Now you’re crying…”
“I’m just so damn happy. You gonna answer my question, woman, or make me sit here waiting until forever?”
“Yes, Beau Montgomery. I will. Forever.”
He lifted up, picked me up with him and hugged me close. My feet dangled from the ground and tears yet again streamed down my face. I was elated. I was all in. He was mine just as much as I was his. “I love you, Cassidy Mae.”
“I love you too, Beau. Always.” Our lips met and a kiss full of fire and passion consumed us. I wanted to have him right here on the bleachers like two people who wanted to be so inside each other that they melted into one another.
Beau pulled away slowly and winked at me, “Darlin’ I know exactly what you’re thinking and as much as I want to take you right here, right now, I’m not going to. You got some barrel racing to do and I’ve got a fiancée to cheer on. Go win the prelims and we can celebrate later tonight.”
“Promise?”
“Have I ever broken a promise to you?”
“Well, no…”
“Good. Go get Oakley ready to go and I’ll adjust this raging situation in my pants.” He laughed, then smacked my ass as I walked away. I couldn’t help but turn around to look at him. He gave me his best panty-melting grin and I could hardly believe this life I’d fallen into. I would thank faith or fate or whatever brought me here.
Walking into the barn, an odd feeling swept into me. A feeling like something wasn’t right, but I pushed it away. It was probably just nerves getting the best of me. I went into the tack room and was working on getting my saddle and bridle ready for Oakley to run when I heard footsteps behind me. I smiled to myself. “Beau, you said we didn’t have time for that right now.”
“Aww, that’s really cute, Cassidy,” the voice that came from behind me was a piece of ice slicing through every vein in my body. I stilled. Heart beating so hard that I thought it may violently rip itself from my chest, killing me instantly.
It was a voice I’d been waiting to hear since the last time he caught me. It sounded of death and violence and hate and I knew why he was here. He was here for me. Devin was merciless. If he was here then I wasn’t walking away from this situation. I’d seen too many people disappear when it came to my brother in law. I didn’t dare ask what happened to them, but we all knew. You didn’t question people that were known associates of the mob. You just accepted that you never ever wanted to be on the wrong side of the pistol if it was ever pointed at you.
“Wh..wh..what do you want, Devin?” My voice was weak, terror coursed through me, stunning me.
He screamed at me, “I told you, Cassidy, you know what happened to my brother and now that your little boy toy isn’t here to protect you, I intend to find out.”
“Beau will be back s..soon. You better leave now,” I tried to sound certain as I pointed to the barn door where I knew he’d come from. I was the farthest thing from confident though.
An evil laugh dropped from his lips, “Now, why would I leave? When I have you right here?”
A tear slipped from my eye. “W-why?”
“He was my little brother, you bitch, and no one has seen him since you ran home with your tail between your legs. Now. What. Happened. To. My. Brother? I know you had something to do with his disappearance.”
I shook my head. Fear burning me from the inside out as my voice trembled. I didn’t want to be scared, but I was absolutely terrified of him. “I.. I don’t know what you’re talking about, Devin. I ss-swear to God. I haven’t seen or heard from him.”
“Okay then. That’s how you want to play this, bitch?” He reached into his pocket and removed a handgun. Bile formed at the back of my throat and I pushed it down with a swallow. He is really going to shoot me if I don’t talk.
With hands placed in front of me in defense, I tried to reason with him. “You… you don’t have to do this. Let’s talk, Devin.”
He pointed the gun at me. “We tried that route, Cassidy. Remember? You said you had no idea what I was talking about? Let me guess. You’re starting to remember what happened?”
I gulped again. My heart beating so hard in my chest, I wondered if I would pass out from the anxiety trying to fight its way through my body. I couldn’t breathe, but I knew I had to keep trying. He flashed his gun at me again and pointed toward the door.
He backed out of the tack room and waved the gun at me. “Out in the hallway. Walk. Now.”
I did as I was told, creeping around him and stepping into the hallway of the barn. I started to walk away when I saw an opening and he tsked at me. I heard the click of the gun and froze.
“I will shoot you, Cassidy. You have zero importance in my life anymore. I was nice to you because Andrew said I had to be and I wanted to try a piece of your sexy little ass. We could’ve been great together, but now he’s not here so what he wants is no longer important. And at this point, I don’t even care to take you for a romp in the hay.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Beau dart across the front of the barn. He needed to run. Go far away. If anyone was dying today it would be me. I wouldn’t let him defend me. I needed to own my past and now I would. Maybe my death would be sweet. I’d miss Beau, but I’d rather save his life than watch him die because of me.
He peered around the corner and I shook my head, telling him not to come.
Devin stood with evil in his eyes. They were pitch black and full of hatred for me.
“Now, let’s start over. What happened to my brother?”
“As I already told you. I don’t know. I haven’t seen or heard from him.”
“You really are stupid backwoods trash. I honestly don’t see the appeal of why he married you. Now, are you going to tell me what I want to know or do I need to just kill you now?”
I thought bargaining would help me with him, “I’m worth more to you alive than dead, Devin.”
He tapped the gun against his chin as he pondered my last comment. “Yeah, how the hell so?”
He walked toward me, gun pointed straight at my head, trigger cocked.
“Wait!” I heard Beau’s voice behind me and I cringed that he hadn’t followed my instructions.
He scoffed at Beau, but his eyes remained glued to me, “What do you want, pretty boy? Afraid I’m going to hurt your whore?”
I turned and watched Beau’s hands as they balled into fists, a vein popping out from the side of his head in anger. I could feel his rage and it was powerful. He’d told me once that he would protect my body with his life and all I wanted to do was to protect him in this instant.
I shouted at him
, “Beau. Go. I can handle him.”
He turned to me with anger flooding his features. “Hell no, I’m not leaving you in a barn alone with the psycho that has a Goddamn gun pulled and trained on your head. If you think that then you’re dreaming.”
Tears streamed down my face and I shook my head. “This is my deal, not yours.”
He kept his eyes on Devin, but spoke to me, “I ain’t fucking going anywhere.”
His eyes fell back to Devin. “Now, you want to put the gun down and tell me what the fuck is going on right now?”
“My brother is dead and this bitch,” he said pointing at me, capturing my attention again “is going to tell me what the hell I want to know or I’ll shoot you both, right here, right now.”
“Dead?” I whispered. “What do you mean he’s dead?”
“TELL ME WHAT I WANT TO FUCKING KNOW, CASSIDY. DO IT NOW OR PRETTY BOY HERE DIES WITH MY NEXT SHOT. DID YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH HIS DEATH?”
He held up what appeared to be a newspaper clipping. The heading read ‘Local businessman Andrew Peterson found dead in his home after federal charges of embezzlement and fraud were lodged against him. An apparent suicide note was found out next to the body.’
“He’s gone,” I whispered to myself in shock. I knew he couldn’t have survived what they’d done to him, but this confirmed it. My mind raced with a million questions. I squinted to try and see the date on the article, but it was too small. When did they find him?
He cocked his head towards me, confusion lacing his face. “What the fuck does that mean?” He pointed the gun at Beau’s head and I sent every prayer to God above that at least he’d walk out of this barn alive.
“He’s dead…” I looked at the ground afraid of what I’d see if I looked into his eyes. My breath was heavy and I felt lightheaded but I couldn’t move. One breath in. One breath out. I focused on my breathing. The way my chest rose and fell with each stunted breath. I was fastened to this very spot in time. The world around me froze as anger rose all over his face.
