by Nina Levine
“I’ll be having words with you about this, Hunter.”
Hunter exhales. “I have more important things to tend to right now, François. Our little chat can wait.”
A slow grin forms on my face as I drag Hunter toward my room. Every guy in my life is shit-scared of my father. Not Hunter, though. He respects my father, that much is clear, but I guess when you’re both high-level fricking mobsters in the underworld, fear doesn’t come too easily.
We walk to my room. Hunter closes the door behind us. I move over to my bed, slumping down on the edge. “What a night!”
Hunter stands back, folding his arms across his chest scoping my room like he’s checking for intruders. I smirk a little, not knowing what else to do as I kick off my shoes. “Hunter, you should stay. You’ve just driven a six-hour round trip to rescue me. The least I can do for you is let you stay and get some sleep.”
He cranes his neck to the side. “Only if you sleep, too. You need to rest.”
“Oh, I’ll be sleeping. Give me five minutes… strike that, one minute, and I’ll be out like a light.”
Hunter steps over to the bed, kicking off his shoes and starts shucking his clothes.
I move to my pajamas at the end of my bed, turn my back to him, quickly pulling off my dress and changing into the little shorts and tank top. I turn around. He’s wearing only boxer briefs, and the sight has me gasping for air.
Damn, this man is fine. Hunter’s abs go on for days, leading down to his perfect ‘V.’ On his left pec is a gorgeous black and gray tattoo, but I don’t want to study it too hard because I will look like I’m ogling, which I really want to.
Clearing my throat, I yank the covers back. “Okay, time to sleep.”
Hunter slides in, the bed is huge, but I find myself shifting in right beside him. He’s so freaking warm. His arm moves out, a clear invitation, so I slide into place, my head in the crook of his neck and shoulder. This man smells like fucking heaven.
I never thought I would feel comfort from a man again. I felt it with King when we were young. It was so different back then. I thought I knew what safety was. What security felt like. But being here, wrapped up in Hunter, I’m nothing but calm. Like maybe everything in life has led me to this one point.
I think if I didn’t originally leave San Antonio and end up at the Houston Defiance clubhouse, I wouldn’t be okay with all this mobster family stuff. But being at the club, seeing it, living it, has obviously prepared me for this life.
My father didn’t want me at the clubhouse because that was a different life, a different crime family. He wanted me here, knowing I already belonged to a crime family. If I am the princess of Le Milieu, maybe I need to embrace it.
I’ve spent the last few years running—running from my past, running from my present, running from my future.
Now, all of them are colliding.
Maybe I need to stop and see what everything is about.
I’m the heir to a throne, and beside me would be Hunter. I can’t be sure if he’s here with me tonight because he wants that power or because he’s actually interested in me.
But now I know the truth about who I am, I think I’m willing to find out.
8
King
I feel like a dick for leaving Savanah in Houston, but I was struggling. Big time struggling, and being around her, seeing her with another man, watching him fawn all over her knowing they’d had a wild night together, was making me want to turn to vices I haven’t used in years. I needed to separate myself from that situation, get away before I did something I couldn’t come back from.
I’m all too aware of how easy the slippery slope can be.
It’s early morning. I’m not sure if Savanah has made her way back to San Antonio, but I want to be in her room when she does. So, I sneak down the side of her family mansion, making my way to her bedroom. I edge my way to her window and go to pull it open when I look in and see her in bed.
I pause.
It hits me—she isn’t alone.
There’s a man with her, a guy I’ve known for a long time, and he’s fucking shirtless.
My eyes drop to the ground.
I should have known Hunter would get the girl.
He was always a step ahead.
I can’t even be angry.
This time, I’m just fucking sad.
I really care about Savanah. Now, she’s seeking comfort, just like she said she did the last time I hurt her.
I need to make this right.
I need to make this up to her.
Sitting back waiting for Hunter to leave was painful, but his car is pulling out of the Del Rey home now, so it’s time to make my move. I rush back to Savanah’s bedroom window, gently rapping on it.
She spins dramatically, her eyes widening when she spots me, her lip turning up like she’s disgusted by the sheer sight of me.
But I am prepared for this.
So I stand back, enacting my plan.
I hold up the sign I made while waiting for Hunter to leave that says, ‘I’m a dick.’
She tries to fight a smile but walks over to the window, opening it. “A really small one,” she quips.
“Miniscule, like a Tic Tac. I was jealous.”
“So, a jealous Tic Tac?”
“Exactly.”
She frowns. “You made me look like an idiot in front of my friends, King.”
“I’m always saying sorry to you, Savvy. I’m gonna do better.” After taking in much-needed air, I exhale with a sigh, my shoulders dropping in defeat. “I left because, for the first time in years, I really wanted to fucking use. But I swear I didn’t. It’s why I left. Being in a VIP area at a concert, I knew I could score if I tried. I needed to be as far away as possible, but in doing that, I left you high and dry. Again.”
“This is our problem, King. We’re no good for each other. If I make you want to use just from a little bit of jealousy, what would our lives be like together… honestly?”
I slump because even though I don’t want her to be right, she is. “So then, this is it?”
Her eyes glisten. “I think so.”
In utter deflation, I drop the sign to my side.
“You’ll always be my first love, King.”
“You’ll always be my great love, Savvy.”
She reaches out, caressing my face. I hold her hand, then let go, taking her in for the last time—
the princess I let get away.
Then without saying anything else, with my heart ripping apart at the seams, I turn and walk away.
9
Savanah
My head pops out the window, watching King walk out of my life for the final time. Gentle footsteps behind me make me finally take my eyes away from King, and I turn.
My father places his hand on my shoulder in a soothing way. “You did the right thing, princess.”
“I did that for me, Father. Don’t for a second think it was for you. I ended it because he isn’t right for me.”
“Then maybe you will consider Hunter’s proposal?”
“He hasn’t proposed. I’m not marrying anyone. So, stop pushing!” I storm past him, making my way out toward the living room. Mom’s palliative nurse is with her as they sit together, and I edge in gaining their attention.
“Hi, sweetheart.”
“Hi, Momma. Any plans for the day?” I ask.
Mom’s lips turn up, but the gesture is weak. She’s getting frailer every damn day. I just want to see her smile. That’s all I want.
“Oh, you know… Darla is taking me bungee jumping, then we thought we’d go for a race around the go-kart track. Maybe go eat at a San Antonio food truck… all in a day’s work.”
Darla chuckles. “A day full of adventure.”
My eyes meet Mom’s caregiver. “Darla, would it be possible for the three of us to go out today? We don’t have to do much, maybe just go for a drive into town. Maybe do something fun, but nothing too strenuous? Just get us out of th
e house, even if for a little while? A girls’ afternoon.”
“Oh, I don’t know. Elena’s counts are low. We really shouldn—”
“Honestly, Darla, what does it matter if my counts are low? If it’s my last day on this earth, then I want to spend it with my daughter doing something fun. You will be there the entire time, and if it gets too much, we’ll come home.”
“I really don’t kno—”
“Do I need to set my husband onto you, Darla?” Mom brings out the big guns.
“No. You definitely don’t need to get Mr. Del Rey involved. Okay. I’ll get the car ready. We’ll leave in five.”
“Darla, you’re an angel,” I tell her.
Darla exits the living room, and Mom reaches out for my hand, hers almost cold to the touch. It makes me sad how much she has deteriorated in the last few months. She was such a bright, effervescent woman. Now, she’s merely a shell of who she was.
“Thank you for this. I’m not long for this world, Sav, but I don’t want to spend what’s left cooped up in this living room watching soap operas.”
I bring her hand to my lips, kissing the back of it. “Then, Mom, we’re going to have the best day. I’m just gonna go grab my camera, and we can take off.”
“I love you, Savanah.”
My chest squeezes. “I love you, too, Momma.”
I take off for my room to grab my camera. These moments with Mom are precious, so I want to capture them all. Grabbing it and my cell, I place them in my oversized handbag, then head back toward the living room. When I arrive, Darla is helping Mom into her wheelchair, and we’re off.
Darla loads Mom into the wheelchair accessible vehicle, and we make our way into the heart of San Antonio for our girls’ day out.
The sun is shining brightly in the sky, making this day so freaking perfect as Darla pushes Mom along the path. We walk past all the little boutique shops, stop for a coffee, then I see the sign for the River Walk. Mom and I went on the GO RIO cruise when I was younger. It would be so great to do it again.
“Mom, do you wanna go on the river cruise?” I ask.
Darla widens her eyes in horror.
Mom grins. “Oh, we haven’t been on the river in years. Are they wheelchair accessible?”
“Only one way to find out. C’mon, let’s go.” I take off, rushing with Darla toward the ticketing area.
Mom’s basking in the sunny rays of the beautiful day as I walk inside to the ticketing station, discuss with them about the wheelchair, then proceed to buy three tickets.
I walk out waving the tickets through the air, and Mom claps her hands. “Oh, Savanah, I’m so glad you got me out of the house today. I needed this.”
I grip her hand as one of the boats pulls up. “My pleasure, Mom. Now let’s go cruising.”
The attendants help Mom aboard. There aren’t many people on our boat which is nice as the narrator talks about the historical information of San Antonio. I pull out my camera, taking snapshots of Mom. Her eyes are wandering all around, taking in the sights as we cruise around San Antonio’s rich history from La Villita and the city’s first neighborhood, where General Santa Anna placed his cannon line in the Battle of the Alamo, past the Old Mill Crossing and so much more. Mom’s eyes alight in splendor, and I can’t help but watch her, not my surroundings.
Bringing my camera up, I capture each moment she notices something she loves even more. The memories will last me for a lifetime, even if I know she won’t. The fact she’s enjoying this time together means more than I could ever have dreamed.
She turns to face me, her eyes lighting up with humor as I snap the camera lens. “Oh, Savanah, stop taking pictures and enjoy this scenery.”
“I am enjoying this, Momma, so much. Seeing you happy is all I need. I want to remember this moment forever.”
She pulls a funny face. I laugh, capturing the moment for all time.
It’s nice just to be here with my mom. To be present in the moment and share this with her because, Lord knows, I don’t have many moments left.
I sit back against the seat, smiling so fucking wide. Nothing but happiness soars through me as the boat sails along the river.
My life is a fucking mess right now.
My ex came back, then as quickly as he came, he’s gone again.
Then there’s Hunter—a freaking Irish mobster who wants to marry me to create a supercell crime ring.
A few weeks ago, I was living this carefree existence, doing whatever I wanted, being whoever I wanted, but now I’m supposed to be the key to an empire.
None of it matters.
But here, right now.
All that matters to me in this very instant is that I’m here with my mom, and we’re having a good fucking day.
The rest, I will worry about tomorrow.
After the boat ride, we made our way to a café and had a huge meal. I swear I haven’t seen Mom eat so much since in forever. The trip out obviously did her good.
Now, we’re back home after spending nearly all day out. Mom is completely spent, but she’s had the time of her life. I’ve settled Mom in her bed at home, and I’m lying on the bed next to her, looking over the images on my camera from the day as she rests. I chuckle to myself as I take in the picture of Mom putting her hand out to the camera to stop me from taking another.
“Check this one out,” I tell her turning the screen for her to view.
Her sleepy eyes turn, and she weakly smiles. “Oh gosh, you should delete that.”
I snort. “No, it tells a story. I’m so glad you came out today, Momma.”
She reaches out, grabbing my hand in hers. “Savanah, sweetheart, I want to talk to you seriously for a moment.”
I place my camera down. She’s completely spent. Maybe today was too much for her.
“Okay, Mom.”
She exhales. “I had the best day. You made me so very, very, happy to get out of the house. I want you to know that today meant everything to me. I will treasure it, always.”
“Mom, we can have more days. I’ll take you out again in a couple of days when you get your strength back.”
She grips my hand tighter, but it is by no means tight. “Savanah, I need you to listen to me…” she sniffles like she’s trying to hold back her tears, “… I want you to be happy with a man who treats you right. I want you to be a part of the family business, to take your place on the throne, joining the families together. Nothing would make me happier. But this rests on the fact that only if you and Hunter can make a family because family is all that matters.”
Hearing Mom talk like this makes my chest squeeze. She and Dad are always so happy together. It never crossed my mind that maybe she was brought to him as part of an acquisition for Le Milieu.
“Were you and Dad an arranged marriage?”
“No. We fell in love the old-fashioned way after he saved me from being sold. Your father rescued me, and we fell in love.”
“Sold!”
“The world isn’t a kind place, my love. It’s why I want someone by your side who will take care of you. Someone like Hunter. The McHale are powerful… he will protect what is his. But I was lucky. I had love in my marriage. I don’t want you to have a marriage without love, without a connection, without that spark because it’s so important.” I hesitate for a moment, but then my lips slowly creep up my face giving me away. “Savanah, is there something you want to tell me?”
“There’s a spark when I touch Hunter. It’s like a burst of heat or electricity. Hell, sometimes it’s like fireworks exploding inside of me.”
Mom brightens a little more, even in her weakened state. “Then, my baby, that is what true love blossoms from.”
I lean in. “I love you, Momma.”
She exhales, closing her eyes. “I love you, sweetheart.” She lets out a long breath as I cuddle into her, but she’s cold. So, I grab the blanket and pull it over her.
“Here you go, Mom, this will help keep you warm.” I tuck it into her sides, but s
he doesn’t answer me. Her eyes are shut, her mouth is open slightly. I smile as I move in, sliding a piece of hair behind her ear.
She’s so calm, so peaceful.
My heart swarms with the amount of pure love I have for her.
The one person who understands me so completely.
But then my pulse starts to quicken as I study her a little closer. “Mom?”
She doesn’t answer.
I jostle her shoulder a little, but again nothing. “Momma!” I plead as I lean over her, bringing my ear to her mouth to check if she is breathing.
But there’s nothing.
Adrenaline surges through me as my eyes widen, and I check for her pulse.
I can’t feel anything.
Tears prick my eyes as panic washes over me.
“Dad!” I scream at the top of my lungs as tears slide down my face so fast, I can hardly see.
“Mom, please. No. I’m not ready. Mom… Mom… Mommy!” I lean down, cuddling into her as Dad runs into the room as I sob against Mom’s chest.
“Savanah, what’s wro…” He takes one look at Mom. “No, Ellie!” Dad rushes over, sitting on the edge of the bed, picking up her fingers. His eyes flood with tears as he brings her hand to his lips, kissing her softly. “My love.” His palm comes out splaying across my back comfortingly as I completely lose myself in my grief. “Thank you for taking her out today, Savanah. Her last day was the best she’s had in years,” Dad whispers.
I try to catch my breath. “She should have been resting. I wore her out.”
He grips my chin, forcing my eyes to his. “It was her time to go, Savanah. You gave her the best last day anyone could ever hope for. She let go because you gave her all she needed. Hope and faith that this family will be okay without her.”
I swipe my nose with the back of my hand. “Will we? Be okay without her?”
Dad pulls me to him into a tight embrace. “Of course, we’re going to be. She made us strong. Now, we have to keep being strong for her.”
I pull back, looking down at my mother. “I will be. I’ll be strong for you, Momma. I promise.”
