Groaning, he marched over to her and lifted her chin to force her to look at him. “You are not allowed to misinterpret my words or my actions any longer, do you understand? If you are not sure, ask me. You deserve as much.”
Her eyes met his and the vulnerability in the blue depths called to him. He wanted nothing more than to protect her from the harshness of reality. To kiss her, to cherish her, to keep her safe.
Realizing the dangerous path of his thoughts, he released her and quickly took a step back. She tied him up in knots. Although he knew it had more to do with the fact she was so innocent and needed him than it had to do with anything else, he couldn’t stop the feeling.
“How do I go about that?” Her voice was small, weak. “Asking for an explanation, I mean.”
He cleared his throat, ready to teach her. “You look at that person, directly in the eyes and glare if it feels right. Whatever it takes to get their attention and the answers you deserve. When you have their attention, you demand an answer.”
After taking a deep breath, she glared at him, then shook her head before refocusing on him. “I demand for you to tell me why you won’t kiss me.”
Admiration for her welled inside his chest, and he smiled. “Very good. Beautiful delivery with such confidence. And, the eye contact is perfect. Men like a woman who knows her worth.”
Her jaw locked. “You tell me to demand answers. That I deserve them, but then you refuse to tell me when I ask. How am I supposed to take this?”
“You know as well as I do that kissing between us is wrong. I’m trying to teach you just as you are instructing me. Kissing destroys the dynamic we have established between us.”
The glare she shot him struck him deep to his core. “Fine. I’m sure there other men out there who will be willing. Likely, I will simply have to get one alone and he will handle my lesson quite admirably.”
“You wouldn’t dare.” Furious, he clenched his fists.
“You give me no choice. I can’t have my future husband refusing me on something I could have prevented. Either you teach me, or someone else will.”
Letting out a deep breath, he marched over to her. “Very well, but pay attention. I’ll give you one lesson only. Beyond that, you’ll have to figure it out on your own. And, I mean your own, not by throwing yourself at some random man. You have no idea the consequences of that.”
She nodded, her face eager. “Thank you. So, to start. Where do I put my hands?”
Unable to help himself, he grinned at her pure innocence and opened his arms. “Feel free to put them wherever you’d like.”
Her eyes widened as they moved down his frame. To his dismay, his body readied instantly at her open perusal. The way her lip caught between her teeth as she made her decision only aided his discomfort. His offer had definitely been a mistake.
When her hands tentatively slid up his chest, his eyes nearly rolled back in his head. He hadn’t realized the effect her touch would have on him. What eluded him was understanding why. In his twenty-eight years, he’d been with many women. Why would this one get to him more than any of the others?
“Is this good?” Her low voice betrayed her own feelings.
“Very good,” he agreed as he cupped her cheek with one hand while drawing her in closer with the other.
Anticipation alighted his skin, and he couldn’t take it any longer. He pressed his lips to hers and suppressed a shudder at the rightness of it. And, as she promised, she met his movement as if determined to learn everything she could.
“Open up to me,” he whispered against her lips.
“What—”
Seizing the opportunity, he slid his tongue between her parted lips, being cautious lest she bite him. Before he had a chance to feel anything for his victory, she jumped back from him. Her eyes were wide as she touched her lips with her hand.
“I’m sorry. I messed that up.” Misery seeped into her words. “I shouldn’t have been talking, and then your, um . . . Well, it wouldn’t have accidentally gone into my mouth if I had kept it shut. I’m so sorry.”
Her face was crimson and Christopher groaned. He shouldn’t be doing this. Having no experience with this level of innocence didn’t work in his favor. At least with his wife, she’d been educated as to what to expect from a man. Clearly, Genny had not been.
“Come back over here.” He drew her back against him. “That wasn’t an accident, and I have every intention of doing it again.”
“Oh.” She looked terrified.
“This time, however, you aren’t going to run away. You are going to come to me. You see, kissing is pure enjoyment. I want you to do what feels right. What your body tells you. Only then will you have mastered the skill. Remember, nothing you do is wrong.”
A mischievous smile spread her lips. “Is that so?”
Before he could respond, she grabbed his face and pressed his lips to hers. Thrilled that she took the initiative, he allowed her to take the lead and when she parted her lips, he didn’t accept her offer. The invitation taunted him, but he lavished attention on her lips, nothing more.
Her hesitation was brief, and he rejoiced at the sensation of her tentative tongue sliding into his mouth. The feeling combined with her boldness drove him mad. Unable to maintain the façade of the patient teacher, he tightened his grip on her and tangled his tongue with hers. She met his every motion and lust clouded his mind.
Never before had a kiss sent him into such a state that he was ready to take her. Now. Right up against the wall. He knew she felt his desire, but at the moment, he couldn’t bring himself to care. All he could think about was how much he needed this woman.
With every ounce of strength, he forced himself away from her. His hands shook and his heart hammered so hard, he suspected she could hear it. Unfortunately, the sight of her swollen, perfect lips caught his attention, and he swallowed convulsively in an attempt to not claim that mouth again.
He needed to leave. To walk away, but he couldn’t do that to her. She deserved more than that. She deserved an apology.
“That wasn’t a good lesson, and I’m sorry for that.”
She took a step toward him, but he quickly retreated. Her frown distressed him, but how could he explain his raging desire to have her in his arms again? That another kiss wouldn’t be enough to sate his lust?
“Give me another chance. I promise to try harder.”
A strangled sound escaped his lips at the thought. Dear God, she would kill him. If that was her attempt without trying, he surely would die. Even so, he would love nothing more than to experience such a wondrous thing.
“No,” he croaked. “No more kissing. Now, that concludes our lessons for today.” With that, he walked stiffly toward the door.
“Christopher,” she called out, and he froze.
The sound of his name on her lips was a pleasure he hadn’t been expecting. It was the first time she’d used it, and he didn’t want it to be the last. Against his better judgment, he turned to face her.
“Yes?”
Her head was tilted, and she met his gaze. “Why not? Why don’t you want to kiss me again?”
Knowing she deserved nothing but the absolute truth, he let out a sigh. “Because that was by far the best kiss I’ve ever had, and it shouldn’t have happened.”
Spinning on his heel, he left her before she could beguile him again with her eyes. He was already far too gone. This wasn’t good. He needed to take some time to sort his confusing feelings out before he saw her again. Otherwise, she would end up back in his arms. He couldn’t allow that to happen again.
~ ~ ~
Genevieve sighed as she set aside her embroidery. Sewing had never been one of her strongest skills, nor did she particularly like it, but her mother insisted she partake in the activity. Apparently, it was
an appropriate skill to indulge in while awaiting visitors for one’s At Home.
Today, her mother’s friends had already left, and as usual, no gentleman called upon Genevieve. Although it was disappointing that Lord Callum never paid her a call, she didn’t mind presently. For the past two days, she’d received requests to cancel classes with Christopher, and not seeing him after their kiss had been difficult.
She repressed a shudder at the memory of his words. Having taken his teachings to heart, she’d acted on every sensation and hadn’t hesitated to do anything she’d thought would bring her pleasure. Could he truly have meant what he’d said? Could it truly have been the best kiss he’d experienced? If so, then why had he canceled so many lessons?
“You’ve been making such an impression lately, I wonder why they never come?”
“Who?” Genevieve looked up at her mother, feeling as though she had missed a vital part of the conversation.
“The gentlemen you’ve been talking to and dancing with. Lord Callum seems quite taken with you. Although, your father doesn’t see it, I feel as though you may receive an offer from that lord.”
Trying not to grimace, Genevieve nodded. “I have hope that he will.”
Her mother let out a chuckle. “Your father has a silly notion that Lord Andel has developed an interest in you as well. Can you believe that?”
Swallowing, Genevieve toyed with the edge of her sewing. She hated to admit it, but the more time she spent with Christopher, the more she wished he did have an interest in her. From his decision to help her find a husband, she knew he thought of her as something more than his instructor, but simply being his friend wasn’t enough. Unfortunately, she knew nothing about how to convince him, or any man for that matter, to think of her differently.
“Likely, Father has noticed a few conversations I have exchanged with the earl. The man simply wants to ensure my social life doesn’t affect his lessons.”
Her mother let out a disgusted sound. “If that’s the case, then how dare he cancel these past two sessions? I don’t like this one bit. It would be better to end this now. Clearly, you don’t need him any longer.”
“No, Mother,” she blurted out much too quickly and winced at her rashness. “I mean, I am learning quite a bit. Lord Andel has even promised to teach me a few conversation starters to help with other gentlemen.”
“Is that so?” The woman eyed her closely. “And, why would he make such an offer?”
“When he saw me at the picnic, I had no choice but to explain. The earl seems like a reasonable man. I have no doubt his cancellations are for a very good reason. And, if he attends the ball tonight, I shall ask him.”
Shock filled her mother’s eyes. “You intend to ask him directly? Goodness, you truly have changed. If Lord Andel cancels another lesson, we shall invite him over for tea. Simply because he doesn’t want to learn French is no reason for you to suffer without your lessons.”
“Sounds reasonable.” Genevieve wanted to argue the inappropriateness of the request, but she didn’t. After all, she was as anxious to see Christopher as her mother was for her to marry. The thought of having him here in her home brought butterflies to her stomach. The intimacy of such a location could change their relationship. She swallowed. Likely, he would refuse if her mother offered.
“Now, about the ball tonight. I want you to devote your time to any gentleman other than Lord Callum.”
“Why?” Genevieve studied her mother’s face, seeking answers.
The woman smiled, knowingly. “He is not as attentive as he should be. It is likely he believes you are an easy choice. With no other competition he doesn’t have to expend any effort with you.”
“And, you think if he sees me with another man, he will become jealous and make an attempt to win me back?”
With the click of her tongue, her mother brushed a stray hair back from her face. “Child, I don’t think. I know.”
Nerves engulfed Genevieve at the thought of having to find yet another man to give her any amount of his time. It hadn’t been easy with anyone, well, except Christopher, but he didn’t truly count.
Regardless of the terror clawing at her throat, she would pick someone tonight as her mother requested. One who remained off to the side. One who didn’t appear to be attached. And, one who could very well become her future husband.
Chapter 6
Christopher smiled as he returned another lady to her mother. He couldn’t count how many dances he’d engaged in that evening, but he didn’t intend to stop. Philip had been right to insist he attend this ball. For the past few days, nothing had cleared his head of Genny, but tonight was becoming a welcome distraction.
Still, he could hardly believe how her kiss had wrecked him. Her innocent passion had been an intoxicating drug, and he wanted more. How could he see her again and not partake? The question had forced him to cancel his lessons, but after tonight, he had hope that he would be in a much better state tomorrow.
Then, he heard her laugh and he froze. Of all the balls and parties going on tonight, why did she have to be at this one? He told himself that it didn’t matter, but he didn’t listen. Knowing that she was here, he had to see her. To know she was being treated well. He cursed. That damned Lord Callum didn’t deserve her.
Scanning the crowd, he caught sight of her, and his chest squeezed. Her face was radiant, awash with pleasure. A stab of unexpected jealousy hit him. He wanted to be the one who made her look like that. However, as much as he disliked Callum, he couldn’t fault a man who could make her so happy.
His gaze moved to the viscount, and he sucked in a breath. That was not Callum, nor was it a viscount. Furious, Christopher gritted his teeth. His own brother had no business talking to Genny like that. Nor should she be looking up at him with such reverence as he led her to the dance floor.
As Philip whirled Genny about the room for the waltz, Christopher had trouble keeping himself rooted to the spot. A damned waltz. Couldn’t it have been another set? Gauging the distance between the two of them, Christopher narrowed his eyes. They were too close.
The song lasted far too long for his liking. Typically, he didn’t have trouble with patience, but tonight the skill eluded him. When the final note rang out, he let out a sigh of relief until he noticed his bounder brother leading Genny toward the terrace.
The knowledge that his brother was not looking to marry fueled his anger as he stomped after them. Philip had no business taking an innocent toward the terrace and away from the safety of her chaperone. The man should know better than that.
“Thank you. It’s much better out here.” He heard Genny tell Philip as soon as he made it outside. “I find it much harder to be myself among large crowds.”
Philip laughed. “I understand. You are not at all what I expected. I—”
“Am I interrupting?” Christopher barged in, not wanting to hear whatever his brother planned to say.
Genny jumped as if guilty. “Lord Andel.”
“Actually, Christopher, the lady and I were having a discussion. And, as you can have no objection to the company, I request you give us a minute.”
Furious that Philip would target an innocent, Christopher crossed his arms. “I don’t think so.”
“You don’t have the right to tell me who I should spend my time with.” Genny lifted her chin up as she glared at him.
“Someone should,” he quipped, marveling at her transformation. The lady she had been a short time ago would never stand up for herself. Or, stare at him directly in the eyes with murderous intent. A part of him was proud to see her spirit, he just wished it wasn’t directed at him.
“Even if that were true, you would not be the one to make that decision,” she responded.
Philip cleared his throat. “Clearly something has occurred that I’m not aware of, so I
will leave and allow the two of you to handle it. Miss Jubal, I’d be happy to continue our conversation another time.”
Once Philip left, Christopher took her arm, placed it on his, and lead her out into the garden. He refused to allow her an opportunity to escape him. And, he wanted some privacy for their conversation. He wasn’t sure how it would go, but with the anger swirling inside him, he didn’t need an audience.
“That’s far enough.” She yanked her arm from his and faced him. “What is going on? First, Lord Callum, and now Mr. Valentine. Honestly, considering the latter is your brother, I’m beginning to believe the fault you are finding is with me. I’m not good enough for either of them, am I?”
“Damn it. I didn’t say that. I don’t like Callum. I can’t say why exactly, but I just don’t trust that man. And, Philip, yes, he’s my brother. As such, I can tell you, as of this morning, he wasn’t looking for a wife. So, what business does he have taking an innocent out into the garden?”
“You did it, too,” she snapped back.
“I’m different, and you know it.”
She let out an annoyed breath. “You’re right. That was a bad example since you don’t count as a man in any case.”
Feeling as if she’d struck him, he sucked in a breath. “What does that mean?”
“I didn’t mean to insult you.” Her cheeks turned crimson. “I merely meant in regard to your feelings for me . . . or rather, our relationship is such that—”
“Just say it. You don’t need to play games with me.”
Her shoulders sagged. “You don’t want me. Not in any sense of the word. When I’m out here with you, it’s as if I’m with a chaperone.”
Gritting his teeth, he wasn’t sure how to respond. On one hand, he was grateful she felt safe in his presence. However, she shouldn’t. Presently, he was more dangerous to her than any of the other men here since he’d had a sample of the delights of kissing her, and he wanted more. The only thing holding him back was a very small shred of sanity that he clung to.
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