Laughter bubbled up inside her at the absurd thought. “Horde of gentlemen? Hardly.”
“Regardless, I invited you out here so we can get to know each other better considering we have tried and failed many times before.”
“There really isn’t that much to know about me. You know quite a bit already.”
“That isn’t true. Tell me your likes and dislikes. I want to hear that you love London. Nothing makes you happier than when you are shopping. That you hate horses, but you ride rather well. Tell me how you are bad at whist, but would host a dinner party every night if you could. I want to know it all.”
She bit her lip at the adamancy of his words. It felt as though he truly wanted to hear those exact things. Her entire life she’d been taught to become whatever a man wanted. Considering she had no future with Christopher, she saw no reason to change that for him now.
“It sounds like you already know.” She kept her voice low and couldn’t look him in the eye.
“Truly?” He sounded part shocked and part appalled. “Honestly, I never took you for one who overly enjoys shopping.”
Using a method her mother had told her men loved, she lifted her shoulder to hide her chin and mouth, then slowly raised her eyes to look up at him. “I can enjoy it when I want to. I can be all those things.”
His jaw clenched, and he maneuvered the horses off to the side, then once they were settled, he faced her. “What are you talking about? What is all of this?”
“I’m answering your questions.”
“Badly. Honesty, remember? You can’t tell me all those things I said are true. I can’t believe them about you.”
Swallowing, she glanced away. “But, you want them to be true. My mother taught me that my best self is the one that others want me to be.”
He grabbed her hand, drawing her attention. “But, that’s not you at all. How can your best self be someone else? You don’t like to shop, do you?”
With a heavy sigh, she knew she wouldn’t get away with anything other than the truth. “Upon occasion, it can be enjoyable, but is not something I prefer to do regularly.”
“And, the rest?” he pressed.
“Why do I feel as though I’m being interrogated?” A thought struck her, and she straightened her back. “Are you concerned that I’m not a good match for your friend? Are these qualities that hold importance to him?”
“No.” He rubbed his thumb over her hand that he still clutched, although hidden from view due to the height of the phaeton at her skirts. “These are purely for me.”
She licked her lips, loving how the motion captured his gaze. “Then, I have some questions of my own. In the vein of getting to know one another, that is.”
Blinking, he released her hand. “You have questions for me?”
His genuine confusion made her laugh. “And, why shouldn’t I? We’ve spent a fair amount of time together, and I would consider you a friend. Is it so hard to believe I am as curious about you as you are of me?”
He grabbed the reins and led the horses back on the path. “This is wrong. We shouldn’t want to get to know one another. You have many prospects now, and I have a lady waiting for me to ask for her.”
Ignoring his outburst, she straightened a wrinkle from her skirt. “London is a fine city, but it would be much better in small doses. Country life seems like it would be a preferable way to live.”
A strangled sound escaped Christopher’s lips.
“Horses are grand. I would dearly love to tell you I ride like I was born for it, but I never learned. My mother wouldn’t allow it. When I was younger, I would sneak down to the stables to pet the horses.” Sour memories made her throat tight. “One stable boy thought to help me learn to ride. After my father found out . . . Well, I suspect the boy, or rather man now, still regrets that decision.”
“Stop.” His voice was pained. “You don’t have to tell me anymore. I shouldn’t have asked.”
“But, I want you to know. Not many people have cared to ask. For so long, I have been what others would make of me, and recently I had reason to come up with answers to these questions for myself. It’s nice to share the knowledge.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, but he didn’t take his eyes off the path in front of them. “Then, please go on.”
“What else did you ask? Oh yes, whist. I’m passable. Not good nor bad as I’ve had a few occasions to perfect my skills. Lastly, I can host a dinner party as I’ve been trained to do, but it wouldn’t be my preference to do so often. I believe that answers everything.”
“Thank you.” Christopher didn’t comment, again, merely kept looking forward. She suspected he preferred her previous answers. As he turned the phaeton onto the path to leave Hyde Park, she tried to hide her disappointment. Perhaps her mother was right, men didn’t want to hear the truth. They wanted the perfect woman they’d created in their mind. Apparently, she wasn’t it for Christopher.
Chapter 8
Christopher paced his study, getting no comfort from the four walls. No matter where he was, the feeling of being trapped assaulted him, and he didn’t know what to do about it. Things couldn’t possibly be worse.
“What is going on in here?” Philip stood in the doorway, watching with wide eyes.
Resisting the urge to bark at his brother to leave, Christopher growled a reply instead. Never before had he allowed his emotions to control him so fully. The fact it was happening now was both confusing and frustrating. He didn’t like it one bit.
His brother crossed his arms and leaned against the door jam. “This is fascinating.”
“If you intend to gawk at me you can leave now.”
“I’d be more than happy to come in for a drink if you intend to explain what is going on. I’ve never seen you like this before.”
The idea of downing a few glasses and unburdening himself was more appealing than it should be. He’d never talked to his brother about such personal matters, but then again, he’d never been in this position before now.
“I don’t think you want to know what has been going through my head as of late, but I’m to the point where I am not averse to sharing.”
“Sounds bad.” Philip kicked off the wall, then closed the door. “I’m sure I’ve heard much worse. Pour the brandy.”
Christopher shook his head. “This calls for whisky.”
“You’ll get no argument from me.” His brother grinned as he took a seat. “Now, considering your irrational behavior lately, I take it this has to do with a female. And, you couldn’t have received a second missive from the French lady, so, this must be about Miss Jubal.”
“It shouldn’t be,” Christopher murmured as he poured two glasses. “I have no business thinking about a woman for any reason.”
With sound laughter, Philip took the offered glass. “What does that mean? You are a single man, and she’s an eligible lady. If you have no right to think of a woman, then none of us do. That would make for a rather dull life, if you ask me.”
Throwing his drink back, Christopher poured another then sat down behind his desk. “You know very well I’m not entirely single. Miss Auclair has expectations of me. My thoughts should be on her.”
“I’m fairly certain the lady wouldn’t want to marry a man who has to force himself to think of her. If you have feelings for Miss Jubal, you owe it to all three of you to explore it before pursuing another woman.”
The thought brought nausea rolling through his stomach. “I don’t have feelings for Miss Jubal. Nor do I want to explore anything with her as I would never offer marriage to her. I want a safe, secure future. She’s complicated and makes me feel and do things I never would normally do.”
“And, why is this such a bad thing?”
Christopher honestly didn’t know how to explain the ri
sing anxiety building within him at the very thought. His plan to get to know Genny had ruined him in the worst way. When she’d claimed his assessment of her had been correct, he had felt a brief moment of relief until reality had settled in, for he knew he had not painted an accurate picture of her. But, oh, how he wanted to believe it. To believe that she was the opposite of everything he needed.
Instead, he’d discovered she had all the right answers. He would definitely have to teach her how to ride, and in truth, Cameron, the head of his stables at Andel, proved to be an excellent teacher. And, she would need work on her whist skills, which he would find assisting her as quite enjoyable. Regardless, her essential qualities were in line with a perfect match for him. But, that wasn’t what he was looking for. Not this time.
“I don’t think I could handle it. Not again,” Christopher replied at last.
“Is that what this is about? Miss Jubal is nothing like your first wife, and you have no reason to believe you will lose her. You can’t live with the cloud of what happened to Leslie ruling you.”
Christopher put his elbows on his desk and rested his head in his hands. “I know, but I can’t change how I feel.”
“You can try. The next time you see Miss Jubal, don’t look at her like you have been, see her like a potential bride. She doesn’t have to know anything has changed. Then, if you decide she’s not the one, you can go to Miss Auclair without any regrets. However, if she is for you, you owe it to the both of you to find out.”
“I don’t think I can do that. Besides, if I do see her as the one for me, I can’t marry her. So, this is pointless.”
“It’s not pointless, and you can marry her. That is, if you can stand out among her new admirers. There is a ball tonight, one I have taken the liberty of sending in our acceptances. I suggest you begin there.”
Although Christopher didn’t want to listen to his brother’s suggestion, the idea wouldn’t leave his mind for the rest of the day. He tried to drown it out with alcohol, but the result had been quite the opposite. No matter what he did, Genny wouldn’t leave his mind alone.
As he stood among the crowd at the ball that night, his eyes followed her as she moved from person to person. It seemed that ever since Callum, Jacques, and even himself were seen in her company, the men were determined to discover what they had been missing. He certainly didn’t approve. Genny was too much of an innocent to handle all the attention.
With the overabundant amount of spirits he’d consumed recently, everything in him demanded he go to her and make his intentions known. But, in truth, he had no intentions. He silently cursed himself. He was a bloody mess, and there was nothing he could do about it.
Disgusted with everything, he decided to leave. The atmosphere of the ball wasn’t conducive to his current mood in any case. As he was preparing to turn away, he noticed a young man leading Genny away from the crowd, and they weren’t headed toward the garden either. Without hesitation, he began in their direction.
“Miss Jubal,” he called out when they were halfway down a hallway, yet still within earshot. “Where are you going?”
She turned to him, her eyes bright, excited even. “Lord Andel, good evening. Mr. Neuville is going to take me to the portrait gallery. He said there is a statue there that I must see.”
Shocked at her naivety, Christopher resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “And, why is that?”
“You wouldn’t understand, Andel,” Neuville said. “It’s a woman’s delight.”
“Try me.” Anger darkened Christopher’s words, and he had the desire to pummel the man.
“They say it’s been viewed by the Prince Regent himself,” Genny explained. “Mr. Neuville told me how all women have a fondness for it.”
Eagerness in her eyes cut him deeply. He could see how badly she wanted to be like all those other women. Did she not see how perfect she was naturally? Besides, he could quite confidently say she wouldn’t enjoy the statue from the details he’d heard. Nor, would he allow her to view it.
“Well, I’m sorry to say you will miss it this evening. Your mother is distressed that you wandered off without a chaperone, and your father is searching for you. Neuville, I hope you are prepared for the consequences of being caught by her side without a chaperone to vouch for you.”
Christopher tried to ignore the fact that all the color had drained from Genny’s face at the mention of her parents. He would make it up to her, but at the moment, all he could think about was getting her away from Neuville and his inebriated brain wasn’t providing many options.
“I don’t know why you would think there are consequences. Nothing has happened.”
“It’s not me you need to convince. It’s the viscount’s decision. Now, if you leave her in my care, I can see her safely back to her father, and you will have no need for concern,” Christopher offered.
The man jumped at the opportunity and after making weak excuses to Genny, he hurried away. Once the man was out of sight, Christopher took Genny’s arm and pulled her into the first unlocked room he found. She didn’t speak, merely allowed him to pull her along into the dimly lit room.
“What about my father? I must go to him at once,” she whispered.
“Neither one of your parents are searching for you that I am aware. It was the only way I could think of to get rid of Neuville easily. Damn it, Genny. What were you thinking? I’ve already told you not to run off with any man.”
She let out an irritated breath. “You are too distrustful. Mr. Neuville has no interest in me. He only wanted to show me the statue.”
Anger filled him, and he stalked toward her, leaving only inches between them. “You are wrong. Any man who tries to draw you away from the crowd intends to do something he shouldn’t. And, that includes me.”
She laughed, a forced sound. “Don’t be ridiculous. You have no such desires. At Hyde Park, you were so disgusted, you couldn’t wait to rid yourself of me.”
“That’s not true. When it comes to you, I have many desires. So many things I want to do to you.” Christopher’s mind was screaming at him to stop talking, but his mouth, loosened with whisky, didn’t comply. “The most pressing right now is to shake some sense into you.”
She glared. “You wouldn’t dare.”
“I would if I thought it would make a difference. Do you have any idea what he would have done to you had I not stepped in?”
“He would have shown me a statue, and led me back to the ballroom.” Her defiant chin lifted in the air.
Beyond reason, Christopher growled. “You’re wrong. Didn’t you see the way he possessively clung to you when I appeared? Wait, I can see words are not getting through. You need actions.”
His body tingled in anticipation. This was a good idea, and a very bad one. However, his desire to protect her and hold her in his arms overruled everything else at the moment. He would show her the truth. Then, she would believe. She took a step back. He grinned. She wouldn’t escape him so easily.
~ ~ ~
Genevieve’s heart hammered in her chest. She’d never seen Christopher like this before, and she wasn’t entirely sure how to handle him. Judging from his wild eyes and his irrational behavior, not to mention the scent of whisky that clung to him, she knew he wasn’t thinking clearly. Still, she wasn’t afraid, simply unnerved.
“So, you saved me from the clutches of another man only to subject me to the torment that would have befallen me at his hand?”
“There is a difference between me and him, as I intend you no harm. Besides, I’ve kissed you before, and if memory serves, you rather enjoyed it.”
The thought of kissing him again made her breathing increase as excitement filled her. Although she knew she shouldn’t, kissing him was something she thought of often. She would gladly allow him to do so now.
“If that is
what you intend, I have no objection.” She gave him what she hoped was an inviting smile.
“Oh, it’s more than that.” His eyes flashed, turning almost black as he closed the distance between them, then pressed forward still, forcing her to walk backwards until her back hit the wall. “This isn’t about learning how to kiss. This is desire. Raw and desperate.”
His hot breath fanned her face, and his words made her knees weak. Had she not had the wall and his hard body for support, she would be on the floor. The desire he spoke of was written all over his face, and she felt it, too. Breathing became difficult.
She slid her hands up to circle around his neck. “Show me.”
With a groan, his lips captured hers, his tongue plunging inside her mouth. The sensation of his body pressing firmly against hers inflamed her. She moaned which only served to add a ferocity to his kiss. Pleasure streamed from every point of contact between their bodies, but she ached for more.
His arms that had caged her in against the wall moved down to her waist. She shuddered at his touch. When his thumb grazed the underside of her breast, she froze, not sure if she should make him stop, or demand he do it again. Her nipples ached for his touch, and in truth, she wanted this too much to stop him.
She gripped him tighter and wanted to rejoice when his wandering hand touched her again. It was wondrous and torturous at the same time. Pouring herself into the kiss, she tried to communicate her need to him. He matched her pace, but did nothing more to satisfy the building ache inside her.
Unfortunately, he dropped his hand and drew his head back much too soon. They were both breathing heavily, but he didn’t move back as he stared at her with wild eyes. Pleasure at the touch of his body teased her and his hesitation confused her more.
“I should leave.” She barely recognized his passion filled voice. “I’m not going to because I promised I wouldn’t, but I should.”
To Teach A Gentleman Page 10
