“Have you been talking to Abby this whole time?” I ask suddenly, remembering that while Niall is my son, he’s Tash’s son too. I remember the look on his face the day he and Abby came back from the beach, causing a scene when they saw me walking with Archer. And I have this sudden and awful feeling he’s been playing games to spite me.
“Yeah, Dad,” he says, voice soft as he shifts the ring pull on his can back and forth with his index finger. “We’ve been in touch this entire time.”
My mind clouds over. “What do you talk about?”
“Lots of stuff. School. Friends. Mostly parent stuff.”
Sitting back, I balance the bottle on my thigh. “I’m guessing you weren’t very kind in your assessment of me?”
“She hated you just fine on her own. But I didn’t help you out, either.”
I tighten my jaw. “I see.” I don’t want to believe this, because we had a truce in place and I’d asked him not to stoke the flames of Abby’s dissent. But it makes sense, the timing, the sudden insistence. It has Tash’s influence all over it.
“You’ve gotta remember, pops, that this was before I knew the truth about Mum. I’ve spent my whole life thinking you were a lying prick, and she was angry about her dad, so we’d vent to each other.”
A thud resounds in my chest as pieces fall into place. “And I made the mistake of telling her that her mum would choose her over me.”
“I’m sorry, Dad. I told her to test it and see if it’s the truth.”
I close my eyes and will the blood pumping between my ears to calm down. I want to grab his shoulders right now and yell, ‘why would you do that?’ but I already know the answer to that. He did it because he’s been angry all his life and he wanted to hurt me. Living with Tash, you’re bound to pick up some manipulation skills. It’s how she deals with any and all conflict. I should have gotten him out of there sooner.
“I really am sorry, Dad,” he says, and I know his words are sincere because the previous venom in his tone is gone. It’s just me and him and the truth now. I have to own the fact that I allowed Tash’s reign to continue for far too long. Had I outed her publicly sooner, perhaps things wouldn’t have gone this far. My silence and my pride did a huge amount of damage to my relationship with my son. But that needs to stay behind us. With Tash leaving the country, we need to establish a new kind of relationship, one that doesn’t contain any shadows of the past machinations. It’s going to be difficult, and it’s going to take work. But this is the road I always wanted to travel, one where I have my son walking alongside me. I don’t need to be angry here. I’m trying not to be angry, but my reticent silence has him rushing to explain himself. “I did it because I was pissed off that you wouldn’t come to London with us.” What?
“I didn’t think you wanted to go. I thought you wanted to stay here and finish school. Like we discussed.”
“Yeah, well that was before Mum convinced me you two had reconciled. I know this sounds dumb, but she said you’d been talking a lot in secret to see if you could have a better relationship for my sake, said you fell in love again. Then the magazine article came out. And I guess I wanted it to be true, so I believed her.”
“You didn’t think to call me and ask if it was real?”
He offers a self-deprecating smile and shakes his head, laughing at himself in a disappointed way that twists my insides. I should have fought harder for him. That was my mistake. I should have protected him from her instead of protecting his relationship with a toxic-minded person. Sometimes two parents aren’t better than one.
“That probably would have helped,” he says. “But to be honest with you, ever since I was a kid I wanted Mum to say those words to me. You were always so angry at each other and I used to think, if only they could love each other again, we could all be happy. For years, I wished on birthday cakes and stars and dandelions and any shit you could use to make a wish. And it never happened, and I quit caring, until...” The ring pull snaps and he hooks it on the tip of his finger. “I can sit here now and know it was really dumb to believe, but I think that's part of why I was so angry, and why I told Abby to make her mum choose. I was angry at myself for hoping my parents could love each other again, like I was still that little kid believing my wishes would come true.” Dropping the ring pull inside his empty can with a ting, he meets my eyes with a sullen smile playing on his lips. “For what it’s worth, I also told her I was wrong. That I’ve been playing the role of the unwitting accomplice for years, which is so messed up, because we were studying that trope in English last year and I didn’t see it. I sat in class and thought, what a dope.” He laughs. “But here I am, a sorry dope who hopes you can forgive him for messing with your life.”
Wow. It’s the first thing I think when he explains his thought process. And then, when the words settle, I feel pride. Because it takes a big man to own up to something that huge. Pressing my lips together, I release my breath and hold out my hand. He lines his up with mine and we shake before I pull him up and hug him. “Thank you,” I say over his shoulder. “It took guts to tell me that.”
We release each other and he looks into my eyes, surprise in his. “You’re not angry?”
“Oh, I’m angry. Some of that anger is toward you, a lot of it is toward your mum. The lies she told you… I’ve always wanted more with you, Niall, and it fucking sucks that she filled your head with poison about me. Having said that, I’m also angry at myself for not acting earlier. But I’m letting it go. This is a new start for the both of us, and I don’t want to bring any of the bullshit of the past along with us. Sound fair?”
He nods. “That works for me. And, I understand why you did what you did all these years—you wanted me to have both a mum and a dad—but I think if you had have done this a few years sooner, I probably wouldn’t need all the therapy I’m gonna need. My head is seriously messed up over all of this.”
“Do you want to see a therapist?” I ask seriously. I hear the joke in his tone, but I want to make sure it’s just that before I laugh and brush it off.
“I don’t know.” He shrugs. “I think the truth has made a huge difference in the way I think about everything, but it is a bit weird up here. I’ll think about it and let you know.”
“OK, son,” I say, clapping him on the shoulder.
Then he laughs. “This is weird too. We used to never talk and now we’re having constant DMs.”
I frown. “Direct Messages?”
“Nah, man. Deep and meaningfuls. Different context.”
“Why can’t you kids just say the words instead of abbreviating everything?”
“Showing your age, pops.” He chuckles as he pats my back and walks away. “I’m gonna make myself scarce before your girlfriend knocks on the door. I think I just heard her pull up.”
“She’s here?” My heart picks up and thunders against my ribcage as I look towards the front door, moments before I hear a knock.
Niall chuckles. “I’ll leave you to it. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
Nodding as I hear him head up the stairs, I stare at the door and take a calming breath. This is it. The moment that will make or break Darcy and me. Do we give this relationship our all, or do we let it go and spend the rest of our life wondering? God, I hope it’s the former.
FIFTY-TWO
DARCY
Leo’s new place is situated halfway between the Bayside apartment building and the Melbourne CBD. It’s a large sixties-style brick home, painted white externally with extra angles in the façade where the windows are set back and the bricks create a pillar-type vibe. As a kid, I would have looked at this house and thought it was a mansion, especially since it’s directly across the road from Port Phillip Bay and would have cost Leo a pretty penny. But it seems to be in a state of disrepair. There are piles of building materials covered with tarps on the overgrown front yard, and there’s a lot of peeling paint around the windows and gutters. He’s obviously bought himself a project home.
; Picking my way over the broken pathway, I make my way to the front door and stand still for a few seconds, checking that my hair feels smooth and my breath smells fresh. I’ve gone a little overboard in my appearance, putting on a dress and heels like we’re going somewhere fancy. But I was nervous and getting dressed up helped me feel a little more in control of my emotions. I’m less likely to burst into tears if I have eye make-up on, and I’m less likely to chicken out and run away if I’m in heels. Plus, this outfit makes me feel pretty, and I want to be pretty for Leo. No. I want to look pretty for me. I’ve hated every minute away from Leo, but in some ways it’s been the break I needed so I could understand myself better. And love what I see, something I’m still working on. So, this dress is for me…and hopefully, Leo will like it too.
Taking hold of the brass door knocker, I tap it against the heavy oak door, my heart thud-thudding as I wait. There are voices inside, then the creak of floorboards and footsteps coming my way. This is it, Darcy. Make or break time. Don’t fuck it up.
A deadbolt turns then Leo is right in front of me like a dream and in the jeans and T-shirt he was wearing earlier. His eyes light up as they drink me in, making me so glad I took the extra care in my appearance.
“You look—”
“I want to press play on our relationship again.” The words burst from my mouth before he can invite me in or even say hello. A premature declaration.
His eyes fly up to mine, and a second later he catches me about the waist and pulls me against him, kissing me so hard my head spins and my body sings, missing this man with every fibre of my being.
“Does that mean you want to press play too?” I ask, breathless when we come up for air.
A chuckle rumbles out of Leo’s chest. “Get in here, Darce,” he says, stepping aside to let me inside his new house.
The furnishings are a little sparse, but I see the potential here. High pressed-metal ceilings, glossy oak floors, and large living areas with a fireplace in the living room.
“You’re fixing this up?” I ask as I look around and spot a fabric tarp on the floor where he’s been fixing a cornice in the dining room.
“It’s my passion project,” he says, his chest inflating as he looks around like he’s seeing it with me for the first time. “I started in the kitchen. Redid all the cabinets—even installed a radio.”
“A radio?” I smile, and he does too.
“How else does one dance while washing up?”
Tears fill my eyes. “I suppose you could dance to no music at all,” I say, my heart filling up. He remembered.
Taking my hand, he gives it a gentle tug. “Let me show you around some more. I have something special I want to show you.”
He shows me the first floor, detailing the beautiful work he’s doing in each room before he takes me to see the main bedroom.
“It’s in here,” he says, pushing the door open.
My heart almost bursts as he directs me so I’m standing in front of a stunning handmade dressing table. “You made this?” I ask, running my hand over the stained wood.
“For you. I wanted to create a space here for you. For all of you. There are three bedrooms upstairs. One for each kid. So, when you’re ready, I am too.”
My eyes fill and I blink rapidly. “That’s what this is?” I ask, my voice almost a whisper. “You bought this place for all of us?”
He nodded, concern in his hazel eyes. “Is it too much?”
I shake my head. “No. It’s perfect. It’s…” It’s thoughtful, it’s unexpected, it’s a testament to this man’s heart, because he’s made space for me and my children in his home. Even though we were apart and our future seemed uncertain, he built his life around us as a family. He didn’t just wait for me. He planned for me. Planned emotionally, physically and financially. For us. All of us. How did I come to deserve such a man? Overwhelmed, I turn in his arms and kiss him with every emotion I possess. “I love you, Leo” I whisper. “I love you.”
“Oh, angel,” he whispers in return. “I love you too. So much it hurts.”
Then we fall onto the bed and make out like a couple of teenagers, keeping it clean because we know we aren’t alone. Niall is upstairs, and while there isn’t anything terribly wrong with having sex while he’s here, I think both Leo and I want our first time back together to be as private and unrestrained as possible.
Instead, we spend the rest of the night and a lot of the early morning talking. We talk about ourselves, our kids, our relationship, the mistakes we’ve made and how we simply can’t exist without the other in our life. No matter what comes from this point on, we walk our paths together.
“So, what do we do now?” I ask, curled up beside him, loving that I’m in his arms again. After months without this closeness, I finally feel like me again.
He slides his hand over my hip and presses his fingers into my flesh, dragging me a little closer. “We hold on and never let go. I don’t think I need to remind you of the agony these past couple of months have caused.”
“No. When Betsy read my cards and told me you were my key to happiness, she never mentioned how painful the path without you would feel. It was like living with only half a heart.”
“Or soul,” he says, brushing his fingers along my jaw.
“Do you believe in soulmates?”
“I didn’t. My mother did. She said once you’ve found your one, you’ll never want another. I didn’t believe that for a long time. But now I know what she meant.”
“Do you think that’s why she never married?” I ask, knowing very little about Leo’s mother besides the fact she was a lot like Nana and fiercely independent during a time when it wasn’t easy for a woman to be so.
“She only ever said that she loved a man once, and that was enough for her.”
“How sad.”
“If she spent her life feeling half as bad as we’ve been feeling, it’s tragic.”
“I agree. I never believed in soulmates before now either, as I thought we learned to love the person we’re with. But now, I truly believe that when you find your other half, you become one. I don’t want to ever be without you again.”
He wraps me in his arms and kisses the top of my head. “You don’t have to,” he says. “I’m not going anywhere.”
I smile and nuzzle my face against the intoxicating heat of his chest, listening to his heart, his breath, the soft vibration of his voice, and I feel like I’m finally home. Home in the arms of the man I love.
I WAKE up early the next morning in almost exactly the same position, rejuvenated from the first decent sleep I’ve had in weeks upon weeks. It’s funny how you can go your entire life not knowing a person exists, then a few weeks after meeting them, your hearts and souls are intrinsically tied together in a knot so tight even death can’t break it. As I look up to Leo’s sleeping face, I run my fingers along his stubbled jaw, thinking how lucky I am to find such a man. One who had enough faith in our relationship to weather the storm of my angry teenager and his bitter ex. He never gave up on us once—even though his confidence wavered for a moment there—the evidence of his certainty in the dwelling around us, big enough to fit both of our families under one roof.
That’s right, he bought a house for us, one that’s halfway between Niall’s school and Abby and Archer’s school. It’s why he put his place up for sale, so he could move in here and work on repairs while he waited for our paths to align.
“What if they didn’t align until the kids were grown?” I asked.
“Then we’d have a nice big house for when the grandkids visit.”
“I love how sure you are.”
“The moment I drove past and saw the sign out front, I knew this would be the place we grow old in. It may not be today or tomorrow, but you will live here with me. I’ve no doubt of that. This is our home.”
I like the sound of that. A home with Leo. When both of my kids are comfortable with Leo in our lives and Niall is comfortable with me, I’d love nothing mo
re than to merge our families into one big happy one.
“I love you even more than I did yesterday,” I whisper, pressing a kiss beneath his chin. He makes a small noise, but he’s so fast asleep that I don’t want to disturb him, so I slip from beneath the covers and visit the en-suite bathroom before heading into the kitchen in search of coffee.
I’m messaging Nana to check on the kids as I round the corner and almost drop my phone when Niall says, “We have to stop meeting like this.”
Just like that time when Leo and I fell asleep on the couch, Niall is sitting at the table eating cereal while I walk around barefoot. ”Good morning, Niall,” I say, giving him a smile before asking where things are.
“Let me show you,” he says, getting up from his chair and walking into the kitchen to start up the coffee machine and show me where all the pods are. “There’s a bunch of flavours in here. Dad prefers the Italian roast. I like the French, personally.”
“Thank you, Niall,” I say, collecting a mug for myself. “Would you like me to make you a cup?”
He has the exact same half-grin as his father. “Never thought you’d ask,” he says before he grabs the milk and helps me work through the steps of the machine since it’s much fancier than my freeze-dried coffee and a kettle version.
When we’re done, we sit down together and take a sip of the liquid gold in our hands. “I feel like my brain is finally waking up,” I say.
Love is a Beach: a romantic comedy Page 33
