It wasn’t until then that Ella realized the ground was vibrating beneath her feet. Her lips regretted the moment she shot back from Henry, missing the taste of him she had to forfeit for the greater good. Henry’s eyes were still lidded, his hand moving over his heart as Remus tore into the dining room, eyes wild. “What was that?”
Ella backed into the corner, covering her face with her hands to hide her sins. “I didn’t mean to!”
Henry fought his way through the haze of lust to take a stab at being helpful. “When we almost kissed before, the same thing happened. Walls shaking, and her Pulse went mad. Are you alright, Ella?”
“How can you ask me that? I almost just murdered you with my kiss!”
Henry tilted his head to the side, overcome with compassion as he closed the gap between them. Despite her misgivings, he held her in his arms, resting his chin atop her head. She wanted to run far away, so she wouldn’t have to bring so much drama and danger into his life, but when she told her feet to move toward the exit, they planted themselves firmly in front of Henry’s. Her body knew where it belonged. Her heart knew, as well.
Running his fingers over her back as if to soothe her angst, Henry kept his voice calm. “We did better that time. I finally got to kiss you, and your Pulse didn’t do anything we couldn’t back out of. We can do this, Ella. We can make this work.”
“My Sight went out while we were kissing! I saw the chef washing dishes, and Remus writing in his journal. I can’t control it when we’re…” She couldn’t bring herself to say the word “kissing” in front of Remus, who was still trying to rein in his shock.
“Yet,” Henry reminded her. “You can’t control it yet. Remus can help us. Please, Ella. Don’t run away from me. If this is what we both want, then it’s worth fighting for.”
Ella’s desire to bolt flitted away at his sincere plea. “You’re not afraid of me?”
Henry shook his head and tucked his finger under her chin, lifting so he could get a full shot of her stunning features. “Not afraid. Crazy. I’m crazy about you, blue eyes.” Then to prove his point, he carefully delivered a closed-mouth kiss to her full lips, as if needing to connect with her when she was so very shaken.
This time, the walls didn’t tremble, nor did her Pulse go off on its own tangent. The kiss was just simple enough to give her a hit of something incredible without sweeping her away into the land of steep consequence. “Henry,” she whispered his name like a prayer for clemency, begging him to be patient with all of the things she wanted to be, but wasn’t there quite yet. She wanted to be a woman who could make-out for hours with the man she desired, but she had to be measured and careful.
She buried her face in his chest, memorizing the smell of him. His deodorant was the right amount of fragrant, giving her a hit of masculine sweetness mixed with cloves that made her swoon. The planes of his chest were firm and broad enough to make herself a pillow out of his hugs. His body welcomed her to rest, always to rest. She hadn’t been comforted like that in so very long. She winced, so unaccustomed to the support that at first it registered to her sensibilities as pain. It took a few breaths, but finally she relaxed in his arms, taking what she needed without certainty of being slapped.
Remus backed out of the room to grant them their privacy, and Henry used their alone time to hold Ella’s arm out to the side so he could turn her in a slow waltz. It was partially to romance her, but in the back of his mind, he wanted to equip her for the many social engagements where she would need to know such things. He could picture her in a sweeping gown, her hair done up. There would be a confident smile on her pink lips, replacing the cagey glances to which she often defaulted. He could see the life of status laid out for the woman who was used to the shadows, and resolved himself to ready her for his world.
“You’re keeping up quite well,” he commented as he started to turn them, picking up the three-count rhythm as he might with someone who was more adept at dancing. He’d endured many lessons to make sure he didn’t embarrass his mother on the dance floor, and was surprised Ella didn’t seem to need much coaching.
“My father taught me. I can’t believe my feet still remember how.”
Henry tightened his hold on her, pressing his pelvis to hers as they let the worries of their situation slowly fade away, melting into the background as the desire to be simply teenagers on a date took center stage in their hearts. “I love it when you smile at me. Every time, it feels like I’ve won some sort of lottery.”
“What about when I smile like this?” She crossed her eyes as they waltzed, finally letting her silly side shine through. She usually only let herself be goofy in front of her animals, who didn’t much value proper behavior anyway.
“Simply ravishing.” He kept the dance going as he leaned in to whisper, “I think it’s been too long since you’ve been ravished.”
Ella’s feet stumbled as her attraction peaked. The dance slowed to a stop, and she cast a scolding up at his boyish grin. “Well, we can’t do anything like that. I nearly broke Remus’ house just a few minutes ago, if you recall.”
“Worth it.” Henry proffered his elbow to her, and Ella judged that he was beaming with a smug pride at being the one who made her lose control like that. He escorted her through the burgundy-painted halls with his chin high, ready to show her off to the world.
Remus stilled his pacing back and forth in his leather and dark wood bedecked study when the two entered. He cast up a teasing smirk and feigned an ease that didn’t touch his eyes. “I trust no children will be conceived under my roof? If there are, there may not be a roof left to speak of.”
Ella burrowed her face in Henry’s shoulder while the prince sniggered and kissed the top of her head. “None yet. I’m delivering your prized pupil, ready to learn. I’ll leave you to it.” He made to drop her arm, but she clung tighter to him, betraying her pride as her nerves began to bleed through. A wave of tenderness seemed to sweep through his body at her silent plea for him not to leave her in uncertain situations where she was still finding her footing. “Would you like me to stay?”
Ella kept her arm looped through his, but tried to shrug her anxiety off so she wasn’t a bother to him. “If you like.”
Henry shook his head, chiding her for playing it cool when they were both so thoroughly smitten. “I think you’ll have to ask me.”
Ella’s lips tightened as she shot him a warning look that this was well beyond the confines of her comfort zone. She ignored Remus’ probing stare, and dropped her voice to a whisper. “Oh, fine. Henry, would you mind sticking around for a little bit?”
“Forever,” he promised. “I wouldn’t mind sticking around forever. All you had to do was ask.”
Remus tsked the two at their obvious cuteness, motioning to the two chairs on the other side of his desk. “It’s surreal to see you so captivated, Henry. I always knew you had it in you, but you never found the right girl.”
Henry beamed at his mentor. “Are you going to weep now? Sing me a song about how grown I am?”
“Oh, Henry. It’s my sincerest hope that you never grow up.” Remus rubbed his palms together and set about his evaluation of Ella’s grasp on magic. There were the rudimentary things—recitation of credos and the history of their magic, which she knew as well as any graduate should. Then there was the practical display of levitating books, but Ella went beyond the basics, and opened them to specific pages without touching—a feat usually only professors could perform. Remus skipped on to the advanced things—stacking objects midair, and making them rotate at differing speeds and directions, which she did with only a few hiccups.
“I’m sorry. I’m not allowed to use magic in front of Lady Tremaine or her daughters, so I’m a little out of practice. It agitates her, because it reminds her that I can do other things I’m not supposed to.” She tried to sound matter-of-fact, but the culpable look on her face betrayed the guilt she nurtured over being so very different.
Remus kept his expression kind an
d unruffled, making notes in his leather book every so often. “You’re not taking exams, Miss Ella. This isn’t a pass or fail situation.” He snapped his notebook shut and set it on the wide desk that looked organized and regal with its polished wood. Everything Remus Johnstone did had a hint of sophistication and surety to it. He pressed his finger atop the notebook as he spoke. “I want you to read what’s in here.”
Her eyebrows shot up. “Yes, sir.” She’d been curious about his annotations, so she extended her hand to him.
“Without opening the book. You can send your Sight out, but let’s see if you can focus it.”
Ella stayed very still. “Why?”
“Because you need to trust yourself. There’s nothing inherently wrong with someone having a mutation to their magic. Incidentally, it says in your school’s records that your Pulse is Kindness. Would you like to fine-tune that, as well, during our time together?”
Ella shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “They told me it was Kindness, but I don’t have a regular Pulse. Mine sends itself out from me. Nothing happens when I touch a person.”
Remus extended his arm palm-up for her to touch. “Try it on me.”
Ella fidgeted, embarrassed that Henry was hearing her shortcomings. “If my Pulse really was Kindness, it would’ve worked on Lady Tremaine and her daughters a long time ago. My professors just labeled me with that Pulse because that’s what they felt around me. Pulses like that are easy to fake.” She hung her head, feeling like a fraud. “I’m a terrible person.”
Henry draped his arm around the back of her chair, sensing her need not to be abandoned. “You naturally bring out kindness in people without the use of magic? I think that’s pretty great.”
Remus leaned back and sat on his desk. “People put too much emphasis on Pulses. Rory couldn’t perform any magic most of her life, but she’s still capable and contributed much to the council. You have new magic that you’ve been taught is dangerous, yet you’re ashamed you don’t have a Pulse. Who cares about Pulsing, when you can hear through whole buildings?”
Ella raised her chin to look at him. “You’re not worried something’s wrong with me?”
“I know exactly what’s wrong with you. You’ve got it bad for Henry, here. That’s the only thing that should concern you. He’s quite high-maintenance.”
Henry guffawed. “You’re the one who gets regular manicures!”
Remus shoved his hands in his pockets, rolling his eyes bashfully. “Can you read one of the pages in this book, Miss Ella?”
Ella shrugged with uncertainty, but decided to give it a try. She leaned forward in her seat, resting her elbows on her thighs as she stared at the book, sending her Sight out a few feet from her body. It wasn’t easy to control the tether, and she accidentally saw through three walls to the empty foyer before she was able to reel it back to the desk.
She closed her eyes, shutting out the distractions so she could focus on the notebook. A few times, she overshot it and saw too deep, viewing the contents of his desk. “You’re low on paperclips,” she observed, and then recalibrated her Sight.
Finesse like this took more concentration than she was used to, though she’d been practicing her Sight every day since she’d discovered the new leg of her ability.
“That’s enough. She’s sweating, Remus.”
Remus was firm. “She can stop whenever she likes, but fine-tuning her magic will only help her get it under control. If you want to kiss her without the walls shaking, she needs to explore her magic in a controlled, safe environment like this.”
Henry reached over and placed his hand atop hers, silently warning her that she didn’t have to do this if it was too hard. When her eyelids squinched like she was in pain, Henry brought her head to rest on his chest, holding her tight, as if she was breakable.
Oh, how Ella wished she was allowed to be breakable.
Ella gripped Henry’s forearm to steady herself when her world began to tilt. She felt pressure in her brain as she whittled the layers away, gasping when she burrowed through the cover and bored through to the back. She bit down on her lower lip and dialed upward by the tiniest of degrees. “The back pages are empty,” she reported with a note of wonder that she was actually doing it. The beige pages were faintly lined, and as her Sight danced delicately upwards, she alighted on his neat calligraphy. The letters were tight and written with purpose, drawing her mind’s eye with a fascination she couldn’t turn away from. “‘Work on controlling his Push once he goes off the second dose of the pill. He should be able to electrocute with precision, not at random.’”
Henry’s grip on her head tightened, and she heard him shouting at Remus, but couldn’t focus on his words. She was tuned-in to her Sight, and wanted to read more. Suddenly, it felt like she was in kindergarten again, triumphing over reading through her first sentence. Elation filled her, and pride over being able to do something she never thought possible made her desperate to read more. It could’ve been a dictionary of bird parasites, and she would’ve been fascinated to drink in every word.
“‘Also needs to work on controlling the voltage. See if he can toast bread, instead of burning it with electricity.’”
There was more shouting, but it only sped up her urgency, unsure when the hullabaloo would interfere with her quest to read every word.
“‘His fingertips are heating up when he practices for prolonged periods. He needs to breathe through the Push at a steadier rhythm. He holds his breath now, and it exacerbates his metabolic system.’”
It wasn’t until Henry released her head and pulled her to stand that Ella’s Sight snapped back, bringing her with a dizzying spin to the fight at-hand. She didn’t have the wherewithal to support herself as the room tilted beneath her. Henry broke his argument with Remus short so he could scramble to catch Ella when her knees buckled.
Remus hurried to Ella’s other side, and the two lowered her back to the chair with great care. “Henry, run and get her some water.”
“You did this to her! Don’t think I don’t know when you’re taking things too far. How long has Cordray been off the pill? Was that your idea as part of your insane experiments?”
Remus’ jaw was tight. “You don’t understand the situation.” The space between his eyebrows puckered with consternation. “Cordray is outgrowing the pill, Henry.”
Ella’s breathe came out in heavy pants, but even she tuned in to the anomaly.
Henry was beside himself. “What are you talking about?”
“Cordray has to take two pills to mute his magic, but now even that’s not working as well anymore. His body’s adapting, so I took him off the additional dose. He still takes a single pill every month. We work on the root of the problem, controlling his electricity so he can dial it back. We’re hoping he gets it under his control so much that he doesn’t need to take the pill at all.”
Henry’s tone was shrill. “Do you hear yourself? Cordray is a Lethal! Are you honestly telling me that you’ve been advising him to dial back on medication that helps him not accidentally murder the future Chancellor of Avondale?”
Remus held up his hands. “I’m trying to help him when medication can’t.”
“This is wrong, Remus. This is wrong, and you know it. How could you and Rory keep something like this from me?”
“Because we knew you’d react exactly like this!” Remus didn’t indulge in any further arguing, but instead focused solely on Ella, kneeling before her and shining the flashlight feature on his cell phone in her eyes to test if they dilated correctly.
When Henry took in her sickly pallor, he came back to himself and ran out to fetch her some water.
Remus instructed her to focus on his finger as he moved it from left to right to make sure she could track it. “Tell me your symptoms, Miss Ella. Don’t leave anything out.”
Ella tried to wipe the sweat from her brow, but only managed to smack herself in the face. She closed her eyes at the sweetness when Remus pulled a handkerchief from h
is pocket and dabbed at her forehead. “Just dizzy. Sweaty. Weird headache.”
“Weird, how?”
She tried to put words to it as she came down from the intensity. “I can’t explain. Just weird.”
His voice lowered. “Is there a pressure behind your temples? Does it feel like your brain is too big for your skull?”
Ella’s mouth popped open. “How did you know that?”
Remus brought Henry’s abandoned chair to sit across from her, their knees knocking as he leaned forward. He brought her head to rest on his shoulder, as if they knew each other well enough for such intimate consoling. “Because I’ve seen others do variations of what you can do—stepping outside the normal confines of a Pulse. When Henry told me about your abilities, I knew I needed to meet you. You’re not alone, Miss Ella.”
His last sentence rang in her ears, striking a chord of acute yearning she’d long given up on satiating. She’d desperately wanted to find someone else like her, but had shouldered the burden of abnormalcy by herself. She steeled herself against breaking down in tears all over Remus’ shirt, and settled on clutching him as tight as she could around the ribs. Remus was solid and steady, and as her worldview rocked, she clung to her new tutor, hoping that when the waves settled, he could explain all the things that haunted her.
17
Henry’s Bedroom
Henry was fuming as he showed Ella to the guest bedroom. The dozens and dozens of flowers he’d bought had been arranged in various vases and placed about her room, but neither of them could enjoy the sights or smells, because Henry was so worked up. “I can’t believe he’d let Cordray go off the pill just to test his abilities.”
Ella didn’t contradict him, but she didn’t agree, either. She kept her mouth shut, knowing when someone was in a tirade, it was best to let the fit run its course. She stayed in the doorway, her hands folded in front of her while she waited for him to wind down. After he’d blown up at a shockingly calm Remus yet again, he’d ranted for a good five minutes, and all the way up to the second floor.
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