by Hazel Parker
But I just couldn’t fathom that BK had a story like that.
“I’m… I’m sorry, BK,” I said. “I had no idea. I have a younger cousin who serves overseas in the SEALs. It’s… its tough.”
“Yes,” he said, noticeably averting his eyes as he sat back down.
It was clearly a difficult task for him to actually engage me in such a well-spoken, professional manner. He was usually so gruff and curt that he didn’t have room for pleasantries in his speech. It was… appreciated.
“OK, I’ll do it but it must remain confidential, one moment,” I said, leaning forward off the desk and around to my computer.
I went through a few files on my computer, trying to get to the master list of every client that we had.
“You know,” I said, feeling like I had to share something after everything that he had revealed to me. “I owe you an apology as well.”
“For?” he said.
“For… for just being so arrogant with you,” I said. “Last Friday, yes, you called it perfectly. I was being distant. I didn’t want to risk being associated with you. That was dumb, but… maybe I can explain it.”
I cleared my throat. It was occurring to me I’d never told this kind of story in such depth before. I had never bothered to hit “pause” on my career for even five minutes and look back. I had just charged ahead from task to task, which was a marvelous thing for getting to where I was now, but it left almost no room for self-reflection and potential healthy growth.
Until now.
“For my entire life until about five years ago, I was always told I was never going to do any better,” she said. “I come from a poor family in rural South Carolina. I don’t know if you’ve ever been there, but there’s nothing to do there.”
“Could guess that,” BK said with a snort.
“My father was a factory worker, my mother worked in accounting, but that’s putting it loosely. Her pay was something like ten bucks an hour most of her life for some call center where she did the financial stuff for the place. I was the youngest of three kids, and my two older brothers never went to college. One of them just…”
I sighed.
“He’s in jail now, honestly. He went and got himself hooked on drugs, and he’s serving time now. I’ve put up so much money to try and get him to rehab, but… he just doesn’t seem to want to help himself.”
“Sorry,” BK said.
It was such a simple thing to say, but it was so sweet coming from a man like BK.
“It’s OK. There’s only so much I can do to help Nate. If he doesn’t want to care for himself, it won’t matter how much I try to. As for my other brother, Bart, he’s back in South Carolina, working as a car mechanic. But it’s not a club. It’s just a car mechanic shop. He makes like twelve bucks an hour, been that way now for fifteen years. He’s got four kids.”
BK briefly flared his eyes wide.
“Being very honest with you, much of the money I make is to try and support my family,” I said, thinking about how much of my paycheck went to things like medical bills for my nieces and nephews or paying for school supplies—such basic things that shouldn’t have mattered. “So that’s my family. At my school, it was much of the same. Public school, graduation rate barely above fifty percent. If you went to Clemson, that was a huge fucking deal. If you went to the University of South Carolina, that was really cool. Most people just went to community college.”
It occurred to me then I didn’t know much about BK’s education, but he was listening closely to me that I figured such a conversation could come later. I needed to finish being vulnerable, anyways—for both of our sakes. I needed to get this off my chest, this story that I’d held in and used as motivation.
“I went to the University of South Carolina, but even with in-state tuition, I struggled. I never really got to party much because I’d be taking on jobs to make ends meet, and that barely left me with time to study. But frankly, those four years, I’m grateful for, because it taught me the value of hustle and hard work. I don’t think I’d be sitting here, CEO of the company bearing my name, if I didn’t haul ass like I did.”
But…
“Unfortunately, though, because I worked so hard to get here, I can sometimes be so career-focused and so concerned with keeping everything I’ve worked for that I let it get in the way of my better judgment. I got snippy and distant with you, BK, because I was so afraid that working with you would mean I’d lose everything I worked for. I can assure you that was a very stupid thing for me to think, but… yeah. Sorry.”
“OK,” BK said, which I knew meant “It’s OK,” not “OK, shut up.”
He put a hand on his chin, looking at me as I kept searching for the master files.
And then he asked a question that told me maybe the feelings weren’t as one-sided as I might have suspected.
“Have you ever been in love?”
“What?” I said, more surprised that he had asked the question than anything else.
“You ever loved someone?”
Of all the questions to ask, BK…
“I’ll answer that if you answer me one first,” I said. “What does BK stand for?”
“Burke Kyle.”
Burke Kyle. I kind of like it.
“Can I call you Burke?” she said.
It was the first time I had seen him smile since I’d met him.
“Yes.”
“OK, Burke,” I said, trying it on for size. It came out a lot easier than BK, that was for damn sure. “The answer is yes. Actually, it happened in college as well.”
Now, this is something I’ve really tried to avoid. At least my struggles propelled me to where I am in my career.
But my love life? That’s something that I’ve tried to avoid now for well over a decade. I’ve avoided sex and romance because of this.
“There was a boy named Blake,” I said. Even now, his face came all too easily. “Blake was my first serious boyfriend, and the first guy I was ever with, actually. I just didn’t go out in high school and didn’t socialize. Well, I didn’t in college either, but living on campus meant that Blake and I had more success dating.”
Well, what I thought was dating.
“For three years, Blake and I seemed like a perfect fit. We met at orientation and hit it off immediately. I…”
I didn’t think it was polite to tell Burke that I’d slept with Blake so quickly. But the fact that I was hesitating to confess it told me I needed to—I needed to get comfortable with being uncomfortable if I wanted…
If, let’s just say it like it is, you want Burke.
“I had sex with him within the first two weeks of knowing him,” I said. “He was very persuasive. We hit it off so well. We even made plans after our junior years to move together to Charlotte to get jobs. And then… when I showed up for senior year, he wasn’t there. He emailed me to say that he had graduated early and had gotten a job in Atlanta. I then found out that not only had he hid that, he had two other girls convinced that he was their boyfriend as well.”
“Jesus,” Burke said. “I’d like to kick this guy’s ass.”
“You and everyone else on campus,” I said with a snort. “But that experience scarred me in romance, Burke. It left me so afraid to date, so convinced men were just pigs and assholes, that I… well, honestly, I haven’t dated anyone since he left.”
“Really?”
Even Burke couldn’t hide his surprise at that.
“Really,” I said. “Like I said, it did wonders for my career progression. There’s no way I’d be where I am if I hadn’t sacrificed so many weekends for the sake of work to get to where I am. There’s no way I’d be here if I had dated or gotten married. Certainly not if I had kids.”
I shrugged. And then I laughed to myself. And then I began to feel emotional.
“You just heard my life story like no one else, Burke,” I said, my voice wavering a bit. “Then again, no one has ever come to protect me like you have.”
> “Guess I’m just full of surprises,” Burke said, but his voice was a low murmur, almost a whisper. I had to strain to hear it above the whirring of the computer.
“Maybe when I first met you and came to your clubhouse, I was just projecting my feelings about Blake on to you,” I said. “It certainly wasn’t something I was consciously planning. But… I don’t know.”
I was running on emotional fumes for everything that I had said. It was like I had just sprinted harder and farther than I ever had after not racing for a decade, and I was absolutely spent.
Fortunately, I found the master list. I hadn’t been clicking and searching that much as I talked, so I could have found it much faster, but I had to be honest, it felt great to get everything out. I clicked print, went to my printer behind me, and then handed him the list.
“Anyways, thanks for letting me get this out, Burke,” I said. “I didn’t mean to drag you into this little drama of mine. I didn’t mean to project my insecurities on you.”
“We all have our own,” he said. Then he smirked. “It’s why we’re marketers.”
I don’t think I had heard Burke make a joke before that moment, making it all the more hilarious that he did. But, like I did so often in life, I pivoted back to work when the feeling of uncertainty returned.
“You should take that back to your clubhouse,” I said. “That can’t be printed out here. If I get caught having done this, I’ll be in major shit.”
“Makes sense,” Burke said, folding it up.
Then, once again, he surprised me.
“Join me at the club?”
“I’m sorry?” I said, expecting that he would leave and I would drive myself home at this point.
“Help me understand who these people are,” he said. “Make connections.”
It made sense. But…
No, no buts. He’s offered you a chance to do something exciting and new. Besides, where else would you be safer than with him right now? You did ask him to protect you, after all. He’s not going to take that lightly.
“OK,” I said. “I’ll meet you there.”
“No,” he said. “Ride with me.”
“Ah, shit, this again?” I said with a nervous laugh.
But Burke didn’t return the laugh. He looked at me very, very seriously. He wasn’t going to let me leave without getting on the bike.
“Drive it up to the street,” I said with a gulp. “I need time to think about it.”
Burke just stared that blank glance at me before he stood up, patted his pocket to make sure he had the sheet, and then made his way over to the elevator. I took the stairs so I could have some space.
And when I got it, I couldn’t help but wonder what I was getting myself into.
I was attracted to Burke.
I had to confess that to myself before I blurted it out, but it was absolutely true. No one had ever come to protect me like Burke had; they had all told me I wouldn’t amount to anything or had mocked me for trying to make it big as a woman. Instead of protecting me, they had attacked.
Even Burke, to start, had done that a little bit. His was perhaps a tad more justified, given that I had pushed him away, but it was still the repeat of a behavior pattern.
Until now.
And now, I didn’t know how to handle it. I felt… appreciated.
I was getting all sorts of warm feelings in my stomach I wasn’t sure how to handle. And on top of that, if I was being very honest…
Well, I had to put it in my mind bluntly. He was a very tall man with a very defined body and some nice muscles to him. I was thinking about him naked.
I thought about him naked a lot, actually.
But what would happen if I went through with that? I’d never done that with a client before. I supposed Burke wasn’t even a client. On the one hand, he was someone who had gotten a consulting session for free… but on the other hand, since I hadn’t charged him, could I call him a client?
You’re too thorough for your own good sometimes, Megan. Just sit back, enjoy whatever is to come, and try and relax.
That, of course, was the antithesis of how I had led my life over the previous decade and a few years. It wasn’t exactly easy for me to snap my fingers and go from a “go go go go go” mentality to someone who could lean back and go with the flow.
But by that time, Burke had emerged from the garage, riding his bike. I realized I hadn’t even given a serious moment’s thought to the dangers of riding on a bike, but there wasn’t going to be any time for that. I either had to commit to it or disappoint him.
“You promise I’m not going to fall,” I said, repeating myself a couple of dozen times.
Thankfully, Burke, after our conversation in my office, was a tad more understanding. He assured me that his control of the bike was indomitable; he would not lose control of it even come rain, snow, or lightning. He promised me that if something happened, he would make sure I was safe before anything happened to him.
And then he asked the question that sealed it.
“You trust me?”
What was I going to say at this point? After everything that I had told him, was there any other answer to give besides “yes, absolutely?”
He held out his hand. I took it and admired how warm it was. I lifted my leg, my stomach churning like I was about to get on a roller coaster, and curled my body around him.
It was an absolute boulder of a body. There wasn’t a single part of him that didn’t have muscles—even his back seemed to ripple and move against me in a way that I had never imagined a man’s could.
“Just hold on to me as tight as you can,” he said. “Do not let go. If you feel your grip slipping, pat my stomach twice. OK?”
“OK,” I said as he handed me a helmet.
I buckled it to the point of discomfort. I wasn’t sure there was a way to make it any tighter, and yet it still didn’t feel tight enough.
“First time is always the scariest,” he said. “Safe, though.”
Prove—
But before I could finish the thought, we had roared forward, and I screamed like a little girl.
I was terrified! I’d never been on a motorcycle before, and it felt like we were roaring at a hundred miles per hour against the wind. I don’t think my grip had ever been stronger in my life. I wasn’t going to let go of Burke even if he magically grew wings and tried to fly away. My life literally depended on him, and I was counting on him to deliver me to the clubhouse in one healthy, unchanged piece.
Then we came to a stoplight, and I could feel my heart almost beating out of my chest. I had to catch my breath as Burke turned around.
“Good?” he said.
I just laughed.
“Felt like we were going through a roller coaster,” I said. “That was exhilarating! How fast did we go?”
“Thirty.”
Thirty. We went thirty miles per hour. And it felt like that…
I peeked over his shoulder. The sign for the highway exit was right there. And then I saw the light turn green.
I closed my eyes, pressed my head into his back between his shoulder blades, and screamed as I felt the engine gun to what felt like dangerous levels.
As I felt the bike turn onto the highway, I let out more shrill wails. I was convinced I was going to die. I was sure of it. Our combined weight would be too much, and we’d skid out. I’d bounce along the road, perish, and that would be that. Game over.
And then, I was alive.
We hit the highway at speeds unlike anything I could have ever described before. I opened my eyes as the deafening roar of the engine took over me. I kept my arms wrapped around Burke—oh, that was one thing that was absolutely not changing, no matter what—and peeked around him as gently and softly as I could, trying not to tilt the bike too much in one direction.
Slowly, the experience morphed from a terrifying, shit-myself nightmare into an exciting, rebellious moment. My arms were wrapped around a fucking biker, and not just a biker, but
the fittest biker I had ever seen in my life. My legs could feel the vibrations of the furious engine between them, and, frankly, the vibrations were hitting me in just the right spot. The experience was slowly morphing from extreme to exciting to erotic.
It was making me crave Burke even more.
I couldn’t get enough of this!
Instead of screaming, I let out cheers of celebration at getting to do something unlike anything I had ever done before. What a thrill! What a ride! I was on top of the world!
And then we turned off the highway, and just like that, we were in Green Hills.
I was a little sad to end, but just the fact that I was feeling this way after what I had thought was going to be a nightmare adventure said it all. I couldn’t stop grinning, even though the wind smacking me in the face was encouraging me to keep my lips sealed tight. I didn’t necessarily want to start suddenly driving the bike myself, but I felt like I had not just discovered a new part of life—I felt like I had discovered a portal to an entirely new universe, one very different than the one that I had occupied for the last decade or so.
When Burke finally parked the bike on club grounds, I didn’t let go for several seconds. It got to the point where Burke actually turned.
“Parked now,” he said. “You can let go.”
“In a minute,” I said. “I want to relish as much of this as I can. You only get your first bike ride once.”
Plus, you smell really good.
Chapter 11: BK
I didn’t think anything of Megan’s arms around me when we had ridden, although I certainly had a lot to think about from our previous fifteen minutes in her office.
But when we got there and she didn’t let go… I definitely realized that I was developing feelings for her. There was no real reason to deny it, anyway; what reason did I have for denying her? Because she’d walked out scared after gunshots had gone off at one of our first meetings?
