by Dylann Crush
I wrapped my coat tighter around myself knowing that the short skirt and cleavage revealing dress she’d lent me – aka made me wear – exposed way more skin than a guy like this would want to see. I had a muffin top for goodness sake. Hot guys made fun of women like me, not lusted after them.
I was going home.
“Now give Dominic your coat and let’s go get you a Christmas present.” She clapped her hands and dragged my faux furry jacket off of me.
Damn. I didn’t even protest. I did work for her, after all. She handed the coat over to him and he returned with our numbers. Except these weren't some small slip of paper, they were the size of ping-pong paddles.
“Here are your numbers for the auction, when you want to bid, just hold your marker up and our auctioneer will take note.” Dominic handed us each the paddle. “Ooh, lucky you. Sixty-nine. Best number in the house.”
“This is going to change your life.” Eden spread her arms wide and then gave me and my paddle a shove into the main room decorated in thousands of twinkle lights.
I didn’t want my life to change. I was perfectly happy working ninety hours a week and sleeping, reading, or Netflix binging the remaining seventy-eight.
A social life was over-rated.
So was a sex life.
“If you say so.” At least the hundred-dollar ticket was for a good cause. I thought it was damn smart and savvy of the testicular cancer charity to bring their cause attention in a place where people didn't have hang ups that kept them from talking about balls.
Eden led me into the main part of the club and boy did my eyes go wide.
The room was deliciously decorated like a naughty French boudoir winter wonderland with flocked evergreen garland, sumptuous fabrics and crystal chandeliers. There was even a social media photo booth station with signs for people to pose with that read #JingleBallsBall #checkyoursnowballs and #jingleyourballs. That wasn’t what had my jaw hanging open like a cartoon character.
It was all the beautiful people.
Actually. It was how relaxed and confident these women of all shapes and sizes acted.
Very few of those bodies were perfect. There were lumps and bumps, pasty skin and cellulite. Men with pot bellies, and women with love handles laughed and flirted like they were at a regular ole bar.
This was not what I expected at all.
Where were all the flawless people? The ones I imagined had hooked up in a place like this.
Eden grabbed my arm and yanked me away from my gawking. “Chelsea, I’d like you to meet Danica Chamonix, one of the owners of the club.”
Oh. Here was said beautiful, flawless person. I pulled my mouth shut and took the perfectly manicured hand of the gorgeous woman who had hers outstretched to me.
“Hello, Chelsea. I’m so glad you could make it tonight. Thank you so much for coming out to support our Jingle Balls Ball.”
“Oh, yes. Sure. Of course.” I blabbered because not only was the woman standing in front of me one of the most beautiful women in my opinion, it was the belief of most of the adult world. Danica was the plus-sized model who’d recently been featured in a travel article in L’eau magazine. The one that had made the internet explode.
She was curvy and the pictures in that article had shown the whole damn world that a woman bigger than a size six, hell bigger than a size sixteen, could be sexy and fuckable.
“I do hope you’ll open your pocketbook tonight to help save the nuts.” She gave me a sparkling smile that would have every man in here opening their wallets. Most of the women too. She was magnetic.
“Uh-huh. Sure. Of course. Yay, nuts.” I fist bumped the air. Can you say awkward?
Danica chuckled at me. Probably because that is what kind people did when they came across a blathering idiot.
“I hope she’ll open more than her pocketbook. And by more, I mean her legs.” Eden nudged me in the ribs with her elbow.
Holy Moses.
My cheeks flamed up and I was probably as red as Rudolph’s nose.
“Well. Well.” Danica winked. “Then be sure to pop in to new member orientation and let me know if you have any questions about membership. Welcome to the club.”
Danica waved at someone and strolled off. I waited until she was out of earshot to freak out at Eden. I opened my mouth to growl at her but lost all my words as someone strolled across the stage behind her and up to the podium.
“Oh my God. Is that Taylor?”
I only went to the Mean Bean like twice a day to get a cup of coffee so I could surreptitiously stare at the barista and his fine, fine ass. He was the last person I expected to see dressed up as a naughty Santa strutting his half-naked butt across the stage of this club.
Eden turned, and her face went all surprise-party at me. ”That boy has got your name written all over him.”
Only if that name was Miss Wouldn’t-Know-What-To-Do-With-A-Hot-Guy-If-He-Was-Half-Naked-In-A-Santa-Suit.
Pretty sure that was only my middle name.
2
Flirting with Disaster
Oh no. Taylor saw me. I was standing here like a lovesick teenager staring at his tight abs on display for the whole club to see, probably drooling and he looked right at me.
I shrank behind Eden and held my paddle over my face. “Where’s the bar? I need a drink.”
I didn’t even wait for her to point me in the right direction. Directly away from Taylor, the hottie latte boy, was where I was going. It wasn’t like the bar was hard to spot. Nor the bartender. He looked more like a guy fresh out of Navy SEAL BUD/S training than a dude slinging drinks. Except for the Santa hat and the fruity flavored concoctions he was serving people.
I set my paddle down and slid onto a barstool with my back to the stage hoping if I pretended Taylor wasn’t here, he would disappear back into my fantasies.
“What can I get you?” the Navy SEAL asked.
“A latte boy.” Ack. Oops. “I did not mean to say that out loud. Sorry.”
The bartender simply chuckled at me. Great. I was making good impressions all over the place.
“Chelsea of the double shot, half-sweet, coconut milk, white chocolate mocha?”
So much for pretending the man literally of my dreams wasn’t here. I sank down as far as I could into the barstool and slowly turned to see Taylor smiling at me in that easy manner he had.
“Hi. Taylor. Hi.” I didn’t think it was possible to be any more awkward than this. Maybe if I fell off my chair.
Taylor looked me up and down, his eyes stopping for more than a few seconds on my ridiculously bare cleavage. “You look fantastic.”
Was he being serious? I looked like a couch with boobs. “Thanks?”
He gave Navy SEAL a what's-up-dude head bob for a hello. That casual way he had with everyone was one of the reasons I liked him. Then he turned that sexy smile back on me. “I was hoping Eden would bring you tonight.”
My mind went blank for a second. All I could think about was how a kiss from him would taste like coffee. I blinked a few times before I remembered I should say something back to him. “You were? I didn't even know you were into...all this.”
Taylor leaned against the bar all nonchalant, getting closer to me with his every move. If he only knew how his invasion of my space was lighting my panties on fire, he might back off. Because, pretty soon someone was going to have to throw me in a snowbank to put out this heat.
“Yeah. I asked her to. See —” He turned that grin into a full-wattage smile and his eyes twinkled like the stars on a cold snowy night. “I’ve had the biggest crush on you, and I was hoping to get you to bid on me for the charity auction tonight.”
And then I fell off my chair.
“Whoa, where you going?” Taylor grabbed for me and wrapped his arms around my back and waist saving me from tumbling to the floor.
If Taylor had said he’d had two penises I couldn’t have been any more shocked. Now, here I was in his arms, his strong naked arms, which were attached to
his wide naked shoulders and his naked well-defined chest and abs.
“I…I’m not going anywhere.” Well, maybe to Gehinnom to be punished for all the dirty, dirty things I was imagining right now.
“Good.” His gaze flashed from my eyes down to my mouth and back up again. “So, you will?”
What were we talking about? Oh. Right. The charity auction. I glanced around and saw all the half-naked Santas flirting with women and a few men around the room. Ohhhhhh. I understood now. They were stoking up the crowd to make sure there were lots of bids and they raised plenty of money. Duh.
I picked up my paddle and gave it a little wave. “Yes. Of course. Save the nuts and all that.”
Taylor lowered his head and brushed his lips across mine so lightly I barely felt his touch. Except my entire body went up in flames. Geez, he was really laying it on thick. I almost wanted to actually bid just to drive his price up for whoever would eventually win him.
“Then I promise to be worth the money.” He winked and released me from his hold. My legs had pretty well turned to mush in the raging inferno of my hormones, but I grabbed the bar and managed to stay upright.
Danica’s voice boomed over the loudspeakers in the room. “Ladies and Gentlemen, please find your seats. The auction is about to begin. Please remember, prizes are not transferable. Now let's raise some money to save those balls!”
Taylor backed away and mouthed the words “can’t wait.” Then he bounded away up to the stage and got at the end of the line of all the other half-naked Santa’s.
Eden waved me over to where she and her hot cowboy had snagged a comfy couch. Oh, goodie. Third wheeling it again. I grabbed my drink and moved to join them.
“Hey, don't forget your number.” Navy SEAL bartender held my bidding paddle out to me.
“Oh, yeah, wouldn't want to accidentally on purpose leave that behind.” I grabbed the dumb thing and when I plopped down on the couch, shoved it between the cushions. No good could come of that sixty-nine.
The first few hot Santas strutted their stuff across the stage while Danica announced what kind of activity the highest bidder got to do with their prize. There were lots of fun dates, and the guy who offered a night at the club with him went for the highest bid of the night so far.
I understood now where Eden got all the ideas for her naughty novels. I was squirming in my seat simply hearing about all the fun the winners were going to get up to. I really, really wished I didn't hate my body so much. I felt dumb just being here knowing that everyone else around me had the confidence to get their groove thang on.
Fine. New Year's was coming up and I would make a resolution then to work on that part of myself. This year I would not make the resolution to lose weight for the twenty-first time in a row. I'd been doing that one since I was eight and hadn't ever stuck with it more than a few weeks at a time.
This New Year's I'd pick something new. I'd work on not hating my body so much. I wasn't ready to say I'd work on loving it. Baby steps. But maybe if I could make a little bit of progress, I could come back to the Jingle Balls Ball next year and actually have the... uh, ahem, balls to bid on someone like Taylor.
Who was up next on stage. God, he was hot. He didn't need her to bid on him, he'd go for plenty.
Eden raised a paddle and shouted, “Ten thousand dollars.”
The room collectively gasped, including me. She grinned and gave the number a little wave in the air.
Oh no. She was holding up paddle number sixty-nine.
“Eden. Put that down, that's not your number.” I grabbed for her arm, but she scrambled to the other side of Sawyer. No way I was getting through him and his wall of muscles.
“I know. I'm not bidding on Taylor. You are.”
Before I could protest anymore the auctioneer cried, “Sold.”
3
Kisses and Donuts
I glanced between Eden and Taylor. Eden was all grins and Taylor looked crestfallen.
Oh, I could see that he was putting on a brave face and a smile. The other guys on the stage were clapping him on the back but when he looked in my direction, there was a whole mess of emotions in his eyes.
Kind of like when you really wanted a double shot mocha with whipped cream and chocolate sauce on top and you got a plain drip because it has way less calories.
He made his way down the steps of the stage and over to our little seating area. I sat there like a lumpy bump on a log. I could practically hear the movie music crescendo and the cameras in my mind went slow-mo as he walked through the spotlight. His chest and abs... holy cow, those abs... glistened. Where in the world did a barista get so many muscles?
When he made it over to us, he crouched down in front of Eden and then got on his knees. I forgot how to breathe. No air was going to get into my lungs anyway because Taylor had sucked it all out of the room. My heart sure felt the lack of oxygen because my heart was beating about a billion beats per second.
I might be having a panic attack.
“Miss Eden,” Taylor said all slow and sensual, “I am at your service.” He glanced over at Sawyer who I hadn't realized until now had a serious mad on. He was glaring at my guy.
I didn't like that at all. If Sawyer was going to be mad at anyone, it should be Eden. Not like he could ever be mad at her, he worshipped her like a goddess. Still, Taylor didn't deserve his ire. That snapped me out of my panicky spiral. Nobody put Baby in a corner.
I scooted to the edge of the couch, ready to stand up and give Sawyer a good old-fashioned dressing down. Eden put a hand on my arm, stopping my diatribe before I even got started. “Oh. I didn't buy you, sweetie. Chelsea did. I was just the megaphone for what her scaredy cat heart wanted. Isn't that right, Chelsea?”
Gah. Uh, stunned best friend says what? “What?”
“Duh.” Eden smiled like the evil best friend that she was. “If I have to watch you make googly-eyes at Taylor when I'm just trying to drink my coffee in peace one more time, I'll go insane. Then I won't be able to write more books and we'll both be poor. Nobody wants that to happen, so I took action and here you go. I also booked one of the club’s private rooms for you.”
Taylor looked between Eden, Sawyer and me. His face went from broody and moody to delighted. He jumped to standing, pulled me up to him and laid the hottest, most sensual kiss of my life on me.
I was so damn shocked, I kissed him right back. Oh God, did I kiss him. My hands went into his hair, my ankle wrapped around the back of his calf, and my tongue danced with his. For one shining, brief moment, I didn't care that his hands were touching my too-big butt, that my belly was mashed against his washboard stomach, or that people were probably already snickering and making jokes about the hot dude kissing the fat girl.
I. Did. Not. Care.
Kissing Taylor was better than any fantasy I'd ever had and dammit, I was going to enjoy it. The shame spiral could come later. For now, just this once, I was taking life by the horns and riding it for the fun.
I don't know how long we stood there making out in front of a room full of people because this kiss was transcendent. Time and space didn't exist for me anymore. Only Taylor's lips, tongue, hands, and body were in my universe.
The music and Danica announcing the next guy on the runway barely filtered through my sex-starved brain. Nobody was even paying attention to the two of us anymore. We'd had our two minutes of fame and that was more than enough for me. I could kiss Taylor all day and all night as long as I didn't think anyone else was watching.
He broke our lips apart well before I was ready, but didn't slow down for even a second. His teeth scraped across my jaw and he licked and nipped his way down my neck and across my collarbone. “Tell me what you like.”
“I don't really know. I've never done something like this before. I've only read about it in Eden's books.” Oh, man. Did I really just admit that, like out loud?
“Mmm. Then I officially amend my Jingle Balls Ball auction date to a sit on Santa’s lap one-oh-one
. Especially for you.” He growled those words in my ear and one part of my brain went to mush at the sound of the lust in his voice.
Then that other part, the mean girl who kept me from sitting at the cool kids table, whispered that Taylor just admitted this was nothing more than a ten-thousand-dollar date. Right. The auction.
He was obligated to fulfill his end of the bargain. For charity.
Ugh. The idea of having to pay him to flirt with me for an hour had me wanting to brush the dirt off my whole body. Gross.
I pulled out of Taylor's arms and backed away. I didn't exactly have anywhere to go. The couch was right behind me and now the eyes of the people around us were on me. I saw their derision, their inner Judgy McJudgerson's that thought a hot guy like Taylor deserved better than me. “Yeah, uh. Don't feel like you have to fulfill that date or whatever. I'll totally donate the money to the charity, and we can call it even. I've probably already gotten more than my monies worth. You're an excellent flirt and an even better kisser. So, thanks for that.”
I almost said that I'd throw in a couple extra grand for his effort, but that really did make me a smarmy rich bitch. Better to simply excuse myself from the situation now.
Eden reached out and grabbed my hand, barring my way. “Hey, Chels, it's not like that.”
Taylor didn't say a word, so I knew that it was exactly like that. Damn.
Damn, damn, damn.
“Please excuse me.” I lurched around the arm of the couch and into the crowd of people all focused on the stage. I had no idea where to go. I couldn't exactly leave, Eden and I had come together in a limo that wasn't scheduled to pick us back up until after midnight. I could call an Uber. Except I'd left my phone in my coat when we checked in and I didn't have my stupid number to retrieve it.
