She wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “Axel, you’re wonderful. I wish things were different.”
Axel was going on the road and she didn’t want to join him. He hugged her anyhow, and his body became hard for her. He reluctantly let her go. “Just be prepared for the next part.”
She opened her eyes. He hadn’t noticed they’d partially closed. His lips now tingled for a missed kiss as she said, “Which is?”
Another kiss. Another chance to go back and ask her to come with him differently. Another chance to fix his screw up. But for now he offered her his hand and said, “Let’s get the grocery store over with so you can see and then we’ll go home and I’ll get to strip all your clothes off.”
She smiled, which he hoped meant that she agreed. “We’ll do what you want. I can’t fight you on our attraction.”
His entire body stilled. He narrowed his gaze and needed to understand. “Did you want to?” Fight their chemistry?
She tugged on his arm. “No. This way.”
He didn’t budge. He hated leaving a mystery so he asked, “What did you do in the thirty seconds you were alone in here?”
She shuffled her feet before admitting, “If you must know, I changed my underwear. Now can we go?”
Interesting. Tonight, he’d see them.
For the last time. The thought jarred him but he followed her out of her bedroom. He had to figure out a way to change this. If she came with him on tour, he’d have it all, and he was used to having everything.
Before she opened her door,he tugged on her elbow. She turned around and kissed him.
Good.
Her lips were sweeter than sugar and he was addicted.
He wanted to see her new underwear right now, but he waited, knowing he’d be more comfortable in his own bed, where they could have the fan cool their naked bodies. And maid service to clean whatever small mess they made.
So he ended the kiss and she opened the door.
They reached the lobby and she led them outside. No car waited for them that pulled up with a driver. How would they get to the store? She waved him into the parking lot, to a numbered spot. A small white car made for a small person clicked and he stared at the bucket seats covered in fabric and then at her. “What is this?”
She opened the passenger door like she was fully in charge and said, “My car. Hop in.”
The bucket seats were too small for his long legs. He recognized the Chevy emblem on the dash. This must be the cheapest model. She took the driver’s seat and turned her key, old school, to start the ignition. She turned around without a video camera and stared at the road behind her to back up.
He didn’t say anything but when she transitioned to driving forward, he shook his head. “You drive this.” A high-pitched squeal sounded and he searched for the source. Was her car broken? He’d never fixed one but none of his cars had ever made that noise. “Wait, what was that?”
She flipped something on her dashboard. “What?”
The wipers stopped and so did the screeching. “That squeak?”
She shrugged. “Last time I drove, it was raining. I need to get the washer blades changed. It’s not raining now so we’ll be fine.”
They made it onto a small road with less traffic, but another noise caught his ear as they drove a few blocks. This one had a stronger sound but it was more like a click. She pulled into a lot as he asked, “And that sound?”
“The engine.” She parked ten rows back.
Her life was more precarious than he'd ever imagined. If he figured out how to get her to come with him, she’d never have to get the junker fixed. She turned off the engine. “Wow.”
“Here we are.” She pointed toward a grocery store whose name blinked in neon lights.
Right. This was their promised adventure, and would prove just how much their lives didn’t match though in his quest to figure out what he was missing, he’d found Emily. He couldn’t explain how she was his answer, not in words. But he opened his door, which swung wide and almost hit the car next to them. He was used to a slower transition. “Yes. Let’s go.”
She met him on his side and clicked her car locked when he closed his door. He stared back at her cheap Chevy and hoped Emily wanted more than what she had right now. “Emily, we’re from two very different worlds.”
“You’re telling me.” She directed him to a row of red plastic carts and said, “Push one of those.”
His hands touched the metal and he instantly wanted to take them back and find anti-bacterial soap. Who knows what oils or germs he’d just touched? On stage, he’d learned long ago not to touch the fans as that was a surefire way to catch something. He hated canceling future shows due to illness, but for now, he’d risk his health. Emily had to see that their worlds clearly didn’t bridge but that she’d be better off with him.
He just needed to figure out how to convince her before she left him for good.
Axel grimaced from the squeaky wheel on the cart, but he didn't complain--Emily was impressed. She sighed and put a small plastic bag with six apples into the cart.
“Why the apples?”
Now she had her snack for work starting Monday. “I can’t always leave my desk whenever I’m hungry so I have a small supply for the week.”
“Why can’t you leave your desk whenever you need?”
“The phone might be ringing. The report is probably urgent. Some lawyer who thinks he’s special because he went to law school is going to be late and then think the rules don’t apply to him. There are lots of reasons. What do you do when you’re on stage and might need to go to the bathroom?”
“That never happens.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s only a couple hours and I’m a grown up.”
“Fair.” Next, she needed granola. Real life started soon and she’d not spend every second with a rock god after this.
She turned down aisle three and bumped into his side to get his attention and hopefully wipe that frown off his face. “This is the cereal aisle.”
He nodded and then stopped at a box with a picture of some football guy on it. She never followed a sports team to know the man. The closest she came to Super Bowl anything was a party where she hung out in the kitchen talking to her friends. Axel picked up the sugary cereal and read the back. “So this is what the Nike ads are all about.”
She walked down the aisle with her hair in an updo with curls cascading around her face and grabbed her granola and put it in the cart. Axel followed, still reading the box. She took it from him and put it back as she asked, “Do you know the star?”
“Yeah, he’s nice I guess, but we only met in passing.” He put his hand in his pocket. “I meant celebrity ads. I think we had a cereal sponsor once.”
Interesting. She passed her childhood favorite with lots of sugar and marshmallows in the bowl that she’d never eat now. Sugar didn’t go well with the House of Morgan jeans on her hips now anyhow. They needed to get some bottled water so she directed Axel farther down the store. “But have you ever eaten any cereal?”
He shook his head as if she’d asked an alien question. “No. In Paris, I grew up on a European diet. As a billionaire, we always have chefs. My band has a chef that travels with us that takes care of my diet.”
Yeah. If she didn’t cook for herself, even as a teenage girl, she’d have never eaten. Her mother always thought she should be on a diet. Her sister agreed with Mom. Emily often cooked her own hamburger and ignored their comments about white bread. “I like to eat what I think is a normal amount of food. I don’t think I’m overeating, but I enjoy desserts and carbs. And no guy has ever complained, at least the good ones I’d go out with.”
“Any man who criticizes one cell on your body is someone with mental issues of his own.”
Very true, though Axel was the fittest guy she’d ever dated--he still ate well, including desserts. Her mom and Linsey had said over and over she’d never keep a guy if she ate. While that wasn’t tr
ue, she felt like she had more at stake with Axel. “Have you ever cooked for yourself?”
He winced as the wheel on the cart squeaked--it was annoying, she’d give him that. She led him to aisle eight so she could grab her water. He followed with a laugh. “No. I tried to boil water once but that ended badly.”
That wasn’t hard. Her sister could handle that one. She picked up store brand water and put it in the cart. “How?”
He shrugged and showed his palm. “Water spilled over and I burned my hand.”
Ouch. On a few albums he also played the guitar so that had to set him back. All she needed now was some chicken to grill. “So you never tried again?”
Footsteps clapped behind them. He turned around and stopped pushing the cart. “No…”
She pivoted and someone snapped her picture. She pressed into Axel, her hand on his arm. “What’s going on?”
He smiled at the three women her age or younger who squealed like they were at his rock concert. “I’ve been recognized.”
A woman wearing a cardigan joined them, using her cart to push another lady's cart away.
Emily asked, “Can I help you?”
The original trio brought out their phones, and the leader, tall and skinny, with blue hair, asked, “Can I get a photo, Axel and Emily?”
Oh no. This meant their day was over. She never should have agreed on shopping--even with a cap over his blond hair, Axel was still…Axel. He’d never know normal. Her pulse zapped as her mind screamed how stupid she’d been. “What are you talking about? We’re not them.”
The woman in the cardigan shook her head clearly not believing her as she said, “Yeah you are. Can I get my picture, too?”
Axel put his arm around her and said, “Sure…”
“Don’t.” Emily glanced up and then stood on tiptoes to whisper, “Just lie. We have to get out of here.”
“No more lies, Emily.” Her heart plummeted. He was right. Until this weekend, she used to pride herself on being responsible and honest. Axel said, “Look at the lady’s phone. Smile and then we’ll have about one minute to get out of here, fast.”
No. No. No. But she did what he said and smiled. The woman in the cardigan snapped her picture and then posed for a selfie. Emily asked, “Why only one minute?”
They snapped pictures with the three young ladies and he clasped her hand as more people rushed into the aisle. He held her tight and said, “I warned you. Hold my hand and don’t let go.”
Employees left their registers and followed with their phones held high. She tried to slip her hand out of his and said, “You should run, NOW.” The women didn't want her.
He refused to let her go as they rushed out of the automatic doors. “Emily, hurry. I’m not leaving you.”
People in the parking lot started coming at them. Her heart beat from running so fast in her designer flats and she shook her head. “I’m holding you back.”
He pointed to the end of the sidewalk and the waiting limo. “There is my driver.”
Safety. "Okay." She stayed with him in the fast pace and shuffled into the limo.
More women screamed, but he closed the limo door and his driver took off.
She couldn't believe what had just happened--it was impossible to calm the fast beat of her heart as he said, “There, we’re safe.”
Emily rubbed her temple to try to stop the adrenaline that raced in her body. “They just wanted your photo.” But it had felt way more primal than that.
“Pfft.” He closed his eyes and leaned back against the seat. “And any piece of me they can get. You don’t know the mental health of people in a crowd or what they might do next.”
This wasn’t good. She pressed her hand on her heart and wished it wasn’t beating this fast. “I don’t understand.”
He took the Marlins cap off his head and dropped it on the leather seat beside him. “Pieces of my hair sell online for hundreds of dollars.”
Eww. She’d never buy anyone’s hair unless she was buying a wig for a cancer patient. Somehow, she knew that wasn’t what he meant. Her lips didn’t quite close. “Your hair?”
He sat up and opened a drawer, pouring hand sanitizer on his palms. He rubbed them together as he said, “It’s gross, right? Let’s head back to my house now.”
“Wait. No.” If she returned to the mansion, she’d just see more of Jennifer, Peter and Belle. She needed to get her life together. Find a new job in a few weeks and let all of "this" just go away.
She wasn’t cut out for his life.
He blinked and took her hand. “What?”
Emily knew they needed to end whatever was happening--if she went forward, it would only end in disaster. She folded her hands on her lap. “Axel, you have a wedding to go to. I’m not invited to that wedding now. And I should go home.”
He massaged her arm and his touch warmed her. But that wasn’t enough. She lifted her chin, tempted when he said, “I won’t go to the wedding if you come home with me.”
This wasn’t good. She turned and their knees brushed. She wished his touch didn’t set her off course quite so much, but now she needed to be a grown up. She patted his knee. “You shouldn’t do that. It’s your family. I was there to spy on this wedding. And I did my job. Now we should go our separate ways.”
He covered his face for a moment and acted like she’d just shot him with an arrow to the heart. He gave directions to the driver over the open partition and said, “Let’s talk in your apartment.”
The limo turned toward her condo.
Again her heart beat fast, but she needed to be honest. She owed herself. She owed it to Axel. They were from different worlds. She could run a marathon with all the adrenaline coursing through her.
As the limo stopped, she waved for him to follow her out. “Fine. Come up.”
Once they were alone, she’d be clear that there was no future for them. Facts were facts. She kept her lips pressed together tightly and refused to say anything during the quiet walk through the lobby,or the ride in the elevator. But she jammed the door open with her shoulder hard enough to leave a bruise and finally let out her breath once they were inside her dismal apartment
He ducked under the bulb in the entryway and followed her in. After the door closed, Axel asked, “Emily, why are you doing this? I want you to come on tour with me.”
Every part of her body felt like a sledgehammer was in her hand, demanding that she smash everything. Her life used to be so quiet. Boring but quiet. Now she was a mess. She hugged herself to stay calm. “I can’t. Axel. This is my life. Your life is way more intense than mine and I never wanted the limelight. I’m not my sister.”
His brow lowered and he stared at her with more intensity than the summer sun. “What does Linsey have to do with this? Emily, you make me happy.”
Her sister. Why had she mentioned her sister? Her throat was parched and she wanted some water. Emily refused to look at him. “I can’t throw what little I have away because of short-term feelings that won’t last.”
He took her hands and held them to his strong, muscular chest. “How do you know we won’t last forever, Emily? You just have to trust me.”
Trust him? He wanted her to leave her job, go on tour with his band and if she went, she’d end up lost and alone in the world with no job, no security. No. She shook her head and gripped his hands like this was the last time. “That’s impossible. We won’t last more than a few months and then you’ll move on and everything I have now will be gone. I’ll be left with nothing.”
His blue eyes pierced through her. She wasn’t his match. He’d see they were an impossible pair. All he needed to do was really look. “I won’t let that happen to you.”
Her heart began to crack. Oh goodness. Her body was hot and if he wanted, she’d do anything he asked. But she needed to be strong so she tugged her hands back. “Why? You don’t love me. In the end, it’s just passion we have, but I want more than that.”
If he said he loved her right now, sh
e’d say it back.
The thought hit her hard.
She couldn’t be the first to say the words, but she felt them. She waited and the silence was like a knife that pierced through her and left a huge hole in her heart.
“What do you want, Emily?”
That you love me. The words almost came out of her mouth but she’d been stupid enough for one day. She could never tell him. Emily looked out her window, toward the random pigeon that decided to watch them from outside on her balcony. Her voice quivered. “I want the old-fashioned dream.”
He tossed his blond hair back like the rock star he was and said, “I don’t understand.”
Right. He didn’t love her. She wasn’t ever going to be a groupie. And what she’d done to Jennifer, she’d never want done to her. She was also never going to betray anyone for a job or a bonus check, so she’d start job hunting tonight. She shrugged as she said, “I want to get married, have a nice wedding, have a few children, watch after them and have my own family. I don’t want fame or fortune. I don’t want my picture in the papers. And I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with everyone saying how lucky I am that you settled.”
“Who would say that?”
“My mother or sister.”
“They don’t matter. It’s up to us to make us both happy.”
Maybe he was right, and her family didn’t matter, if she and Axel were happy. She marched passed him and reached for the door. It was time for her dreams of Axel to end, forever. She couldn’t risk disaster over her silly feelings, but he pushed against the door. “Emily?”
Her lips tingled for one last kiss, one last memory. She swallowed and knew she was weak but she held the door to keep her straight as she avoided his gaze. “Axel, it’s time for us to end this. Have fun at your brother’s wedding.”
He reached for her hip and his lips were so close. Her body buzzed as he said, “I don’t want to go. I don’t want to lose you.”
Secret Bridesmaid Page 12
