by Virlyce
“Ahem,” Mistle said, her eyes cracking open. “You might not have any problems with us, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have a problem with you. I, for one, don’t like you.”
Sheryl blinked twice. “What? Really?” She pointed at her face. “You don’t like me? Have I done anything to wrong you? How come you never told me before?”
“Well, since we’re airing out our grievances, I thought I should mention it,” Mistle said. “I honestly don’t like any of you, except Diamant, of course. That includes you, Vur. I really dislike you as my contractor. I only listen to you because of our contract. And you, little fairy”—Mistle pointed at Stella—“I dislike you even more than I dislike Vur. In fact, I borderline hate you, but I don’t actually hate you because hate is such a strong word.”
Vur tilted his head, and Stella had to grab onto his hair to prevent herself from rolling off. Before he or Stella could say anything, Sheryl spoke up, “Wait. Explain to me why you don’t like me first.”
“You’re a fire elemental,” Mistle said. “That’s a good enough reason for me.”
Sheryl’s coal-like eyes widened. “I can’t help that I was born a fire elemental.” She turned towards Vur. “I’m being discriminated against.”
Vur nodded and shook Mistle up and down. “Bad. You can’t do that.”
Mistle groaned and clutched her head, which also happened to be a part of her body. “And this is why I don’t like you. I’m not a dog that needs to be trained! You keep treating me like I’m subhuman!”
“You’re an elemental,” Stella said, still chewing on her piece of grass.
“You keep treating me like I’m sub-elemental!” Mistle shook her fist at Vur. “Do you see the difference between the way you treat Sheryl and the way you treat me?”
“That’s because Sheryl doesn’t discriminate,” Vur said and nodded. “She’s a good person.”
“I’m a good person too,” Mistle said, biting her lower lip. “You just haven’t given me the chance to show it. Haven’t I done exactly what you asked me to do?”
“If you have to go around saying you’re a good person, then you’re not a good person,” Stella said and shrugged. “People know you’re good without you having to say anything. Like Sheryl.”
“You’re going to make me blush,” Sheryl said, her already red surface turning even redder.
Mistle narrowed her eyes at Sheryl. “This is why I dislike you.” She jabbed her arm at Zilphy, nearly pushing the green rock off of Vur’s hand. Zilphy yelped and scowled, turning around to glare at Mistle. Mistle nodded. “And I don’t like her because she stole my man.” She tilted her body up to meet Vur’s eyes. “You said that none of us are going anywhere until our problems are solved. Well, I guess that means we won’t be going anywhere for a very long time. I’ll have you know, ocean elementals are very patient.”
“I vote we get rid of her,” Zilphy said and raised her hand. “If she has so many problems with us, then she should get out.” She smiled at Vur. “There’s no need for someone like her to be contracted with someone as awesome as you.”
“No, there’s a need,” Stella said. “She has to water my roots. Without her, there’s no water. And without water, there’s no plants. And that can’t happen. Mistle stays. Next solution!”
“I say we give her to Grimmoldesser over there for a week to let him reeducate her,” Sheryl said, pointing at Grimmy, who was sleeping in the distance.
“Sheryl,” Stella said. “We just established the fact that you’re nice. You can’t go around offering cruel and unusual punishment right after we did that. No reeducation from the evil dragon. Next! Deedee, any ideas?”
“Yes, I have a great one, in fact,” Diamant said, his eyes opening for the first time since Vur started his group meeting. “As we all know, I’m the source of most of the drama. If we remove me from the equation, then there should be no issues. How about Vur and I drop our contract—”
“Rejected,” Stella said, cutting Diamant off. “After tricking you into a contract, we can’t let you go free that easily.” She leaned over Vur’s head and looked down into his eyes. “How about you, any ideas?”
“Deedee has a point,” Vur said. “Mistle and Zilphy don’t like each other because Mistle thinks Zilphy stole Deedee from her. Then the easiest way to fix this is to marry Deedee to Mistle too.”
“No!” Zilphy shouted.
Vur blinked. “Then you and Deedee can get a divorce?”
“Also no!”
Vur frowned and lowered his hand that was holding Zilphy. “What do you three think?” he asked the remaining elementals.
“I think it’s a great idea,” Mistle said. “This is the best idea you’ve had since I became contracted to you.”
“I disapprove,” Diamant said.
“Yeah…, I’m kinda with Deedee and Zilphy on this one,” Sheryl said and scratched her head. She stiffened. “And I’m not saying that just to be at odds with Mistle because she said she didn’t like me.”
“Vur? What are you doing? Have you seen Mary...”—there was a sigh—“Mary Junior around?”
Vur turned his head. Tafel was walking towards him. He pressed all the elementals back into his body and retracted his retractable arms. “Who’s Mary Junior?”
“The turtle thing with the snake tail,” Tafel said. Her gaze landed on the turtle that was trying to blend into the ground between Vur’s legs. “Mary’s looking for it.” Her chest throbbed when a tear dripped out of the turtle’s shell. “I think I’ll tell her I couldn’t find it.”
***
“How long are we going to stay here?” Vur asked. He was lying on a plush bed fit for a king with Tafel standing beside him. She was rummaging through a pile of books that were placed on the nightstand, her hair obscuring part of her face from view. Vur rolled over onto his side, placing his cheek on his pillow that had a silk cover. From underneath the pillow, a turtle’s and snake’s heads popped out, scanning the room before disappearing back into their hiding spot.
“Auntie’s teaching Mary how to absorb this territory into her empire now that it’s empty,” Tafel said without turning her head. She frowned as she placed down a book and picked up another one, taking one look at its cover before setting it down as well. “There’s many things that have to be taken into consideration, and Mary never learned how, and she can be a bit slow when it comes to everything not involving swords, so we might be here for a while.”
“And what does that have to do with us?” Vur asked. “It’s not our territory or our empire. So why are we staying?”
“Because Mary’s traveling with us?” Tafel asked, raising an eyebrow. “You wouldn’t leave behind a party member, right?”
Vur blinked. “Since when did she join our party?”
“Since Grimmy took her gauntlets, greaves, and sword, leaving her completely helpless,” Tafel said. “So, around the time we went genie hunting with her.”
Vur groaned and arched his back, stretching his legs and pointing his toes. He scratched his chest and exhaled. “How long is she going to be in our party for?”
Tafel took a seat on the side of the bed and shrugged. “I’m not sure. When she has a new sword, I guess?” She pointed at the pillow. “So, when that thing is old enough to … have its soul taken. That’s just Grimmy’s way of saying when it becomes an adult, right? He’s not actually going to take its soul?” She bit her lower lip. “But knowing Grimmy….”
“I don’t think Grimmy will take Mary Junior’s soul,” Vur said. “What would he do with it?”
Tafel raised her eyebrows. “Um, hello? He collects them? Did you forget that?” Her brow furrowed. “Oh, wait. You were unconscious when he took his collection out.”
Mary Junior stuck its heads out from underneath the pillow and looked up at Vur with wet eyes. It opened and closed its beak, a small mewling sound coming out of its mouth. It whimpered, pleading with its eyes. Vur lifted his head and sat up, scooping the turtlesnake out from
underneath the pillow. He placed it on his lap and flipped it over onto its back. It let out a strange noise and kicked its legs into the air. Vur lifted Mary Junior and frowned.
“What’s wrong?” Tafel asked as Vur inspected the turtle, turning it this way and that.
“Is Mary Junior a boy or a girl?” Vur asked. “I can’t tell.”
Tafel rolled her eyes. “She’s a…. Actually, I’m not sure either. How can you tell if a turtle is a boy or a girl?”
Vur nodded. “That’s easy,” he said. “I’ll just ask.” He flipped Mary Junior right-side up and tapped its shell. “If you’re a girl, blink once. If you’re a boy, blink twice.”
Mary Junior’s turtle head blinked once. The snake head blinked twice.
Vur nodded. “Mary Junior’s both,” he said. He furrowed his brow. “How do we address her…, him?”
“I think I’ll stick with her,” Tafel said. “Her name’s Mary Junior after all.”
“That’s a dumb name,” Vur said. “We should name her Mini Vur instead.”
“No.”
Before Vur could reply, there was a knock on the door. A second later, it swung open. Alice and Mr. Skelly walked inside followed by a red sheepman. Alice swept her arm out towards Vur, gesturing at him with her palm. “Here he is, your great leader,” she said and rolled her eyes. “Can you stop following me now?”
“Baaa.” The sheepman nodded. “That means, baaa, thanks in sheep language.”
“You could’ve just thanked me,” Alice said and left the room, closing the door behind her and Mr. Skelly, leaving the sheepman inside.
Tafel blinked at the sudden intruder. “Good morning?”
“Greetings, baaaa, wife of the great leader,” the sheepman said. He dropped to his knees and pressed his forehead against the ground. “O great leader! A terrible, baaa, tragedy has baafallen us, your people. A purple, baa, dragon has eaten a great, baaa, number of our men. We ask you to, baa, avenge us and create the, baaaaaa, land you promised us.”
Vur frowned. “A purple dragon?”
“Can dragons even be purple?” Tafel asked. “What kind of magic would a purple dragon cast? If my theory about dragons are their colors are correct, then a purple dragon should cast … poisonous spells? But that’s green.”
Vur shook his head. “I’ve never seen a purple dragon either.” He placed Mary Junior down and stood up. “Where and when were you attacked?”
“Four days ago, baaa, at the place you told us, baa, to search for genies.” The sheepman let out a sad-sounding bleat. “Our chieftain sacrificed, baaaaa, himself to let us escape. Baa, we all came to find you, baa, but it looks like I’m the only, baaa, one who made it.”
“Maybe you’re just the fastest one,” Tafel said. “There’s no reason to assume the worst.” She looked up at Vur. “Are you going to confront this dragon? I think your parents are taking a nap right now; it may be a while before they wake up. What if it gets dangerous?”
Vur snorted. “These sheepmen are my people. If another dragon is attacking them, then they’re invading my territory and harming my property. According to Grimmy’s code of honor, it’s up to me to show them their place, unless I can’t, and if that happens, then I tell Grimmy.”
Tafel scratched her head. “That doesn’t sound very honorable. If you lose, you tattle?”
Vur shrugged. “I didn’t make the code.”
***
“Nova, I’ve been meaning to ask,” Sharda said. She was lying on her stomach next to her mate, the two of them in a lush valley. Her torso rose, and she gestured around with her paw. “Why is there such a strong ward around the area? It was quite tricky for me to get in.”
“Oh,” Nova said, not lifting his head off his front paws. “Grimmoldesser set that up. He’s protecting his egg.”
Sharda’s eyes nearly fell out of her head. “His what?”
“His egg.”
“That he … found?” Sharda asked. “Does it belong to some sort of rare creature?”
“No, no,” Nova said. “Grimmoldesser found a mate.”
“…What kind of apocalyptic monstrosity did he mate with?”
A small smile appeared on Nova’s face. “A holy dragon,” he said and nodded. “She’s actually quite nice and living in that cave over there.” He pointed at the cliffside across the valley. “But she’s very territorial right now, so you don’t want to enter her residence.”
“A holy dragon? Grimmoldesser?” Sharda tilted her head and blinked three times. “Did he brainwash her? Perhaps he’s holding her parents hostage? Should we save her?”
“No, no.” Nova said and patted Sharda’s back with his wing. “She actually loves him. And she’s not brainwashed. I think. Everyone has someone out there who’ll love them—even someone like Grimmoldesser.”
“I don’t believe it,” Sharda said, shaking her head and shivering. Her wings flapped twice before settling against her sides. “A holy dragon falling in love with Grimmoldesser. Next you’ll be telling me pigs can fly.”
Nova rubbed his chin. “About that…. You haven’t met your great-grandson or great-great-granddaughter yet, have you?”
“My what?”
Nova cupped his paws around his mouth. “Snuffles! Floofykins! Come say hi to Vur’s grandmother.”
Out of a nearby cave, Snuffles came out with a blue phoenix perched on his back. Floofykins followed behind, skipping while flapping her wings. She flew into the air and darted straight for Nova, tackling his snout. Nova chuckled and patted Floofykins’ head with the tip of his claw. “This is Floofykins, Vur’s granddaughter.” He pointed at Snuffles, ignoring Sharda’s frigid expression. “And that’s Snuffles, Vur’s son.”
“My lineage … has been passed down to a pig?” Sharda asked, her voice low.
“Boar,” Nova said. “Snuffles is a boar. You can tell by the way he looks. I was surprised at first too, but once you hang around them, they grow on you.” He smiled and scratched Floofykins back, her eyes closed in bliss. “Look at how cute she is. And other than Prika, they’re the only ones keeping this lonely old dragon company.”
Sharda smiled a smile that looked more like a grimace. “Hello…, Floofy…kins.”
Floofykins waved at Sharda with her front leg. Sharda cleared her throat. “Speaking of grandchildren,” she said, doing her best to make eye contact with Nova while ignoring the blue boar sitting on his snout. “Emma actually had four children not too long ago. Why don’t you come over to my continent and say hi to them?”
Nova’s eyes lit up. “Oh? I have more grandkids than just Vur? What do they look like? What are their names?”
Sharda beamed. “The oldest is named Alora. She looks exactly like Sera and Emma did when they were young. She’s a bit brash and a little clumsy, but she’s adorable.” Sharda patted Snuffles’ rump when he walked up to her and gave him an awkward smile. “And then there’s the triplets, Eldest, Bonnie, and Youngest. Alora calls them the annoying trio, and even Emma and her mate are starting to call them that as well.”
“Wait. Their names are Eldest and Youngest?”
“That’s right. Alora named them.”
Nova raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t Alora just a child? Why would you and Emma let her name them? No, why would you even keep those names?”
“Do you not like them?” Sharda asked, furrowing her brow. “If you were there to see how excited Alora was about having siblings, you wouldn’t have had the heart to refuse her request to name them as well. She looked so happy and proud.”
“I’m sure that’s fine and dandy and all, but now two of our grandkids are stuck with the names Youngest and Eldest,” Nova said. “Please tell me that Eldest is actually the oldest amongst the three at the very least.”
Sharda rolled her eyes. “Alora’s a child, not stupid,” she said. “Of course she’d name the oldest one Eldest.”
“You’re making your favoritism for Alora quite apparent.”
“What?” Sharda reared her head
back. “Favoritism? I love all my grandchildren quite equally.”
“You didn’t seem to like Snuffles and Floofykins that much,” Nova said, his voice monotonous. Floofykins nodded and wrinkled her snout at Sharda.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sharda said. She glared at Nova. “Are you coming back with me to see your grandchildren or not?”
“Of course, of course,” Nova said. “When should we go? Now?”
“Can I come too?” Prika asked, sticking her head out of her cave. “And you know I’m single, right? While we’re there, maybe, you could, uh, you know, introduce me to some devilishly handsome dragons who’re perfect but also happen to be single due to circumstances and not a personality defect? That’d be great. I don’t think I’m asking for much.”
“No, you stay home and watch the roost,” Nova said.
“…Seriously?”
“Mhm.”
“But Leila’s here! She’ll kill anyone that even comes close to her egg—I’m definitely not needed,” Prika said. “And Grimmy left behind that weird spell; no one will even show up in the first place. Why don’t you let me come with?” She pouted, and her gaze landed on Snuffles. “Look, even Snuffles got lucky with a mate. Are you really going to let me rot here in my singledom?”
“I don’t see why we can’t take her,” Sharda said. “As long as she doesn’t do anything stupid, it should be fine.”
“That might be asking for a little too much,” Nova said and stroked his chin.
Prika blinked three times. “Excuse me? Hello? I’m right here? Are you really going to call me dumb to my face?”
“You’re not dumb,” Nova said and clicked his tongue. “You’re just very … hormonally driven right now. And hormones can cause you to do stupid things.”
“Your face is hormonally driven,” Prika said. “I maintain a sane and rational mind every single second of every single day. I’m going to follow you two whether you like it or not.”
33
