She pushed herself up and away from him, and he didn’t pull her back.
Yet.
“Yes, but what was between you? Were you in love?” he asked again, needing answers. He couldn’t keep her here just because he needed to see if there was a second chance for them. Not if she’d truly been in love with someone else.
She blew out a long breath. “Right before the doors opened, Ethan asked me if I was sure.” Not meeting his gaze, she said, “It gave me pause and I… I had second thoughts.”
She lifted her face to him and tears shimmered in her pretty blue eyes. “It’s not that I didn’t love Jason. We were compatible. He offered me everything I wanted in my life.”
“Security and a future aren’t enough to base a lifetime on.” He named the minimal things she would want in order to marry someone because he knew her that well. He had. He still did.
She sniffed. “Yes, well, it seemed enough at the time. I do love him,” she said, her words a knife to Ryder’s chest.
“But you aren’t in love with him.”
“How do you know that?” she asked, some of the fire from last night back in her tone.
He rolled his shoulders. “Easy. Because when he walked out on you, you let him go.” He debated his next words, then decided it wasn’t the time to hold anything back. “When I broke up with you, you didn’t let me go as easily.” He shuddered at the memories of a time that had nearly killed him. “But you stood in a wedding dress and you let Jason walk out the door.”
She blinked and the tears she’d been holding back rolled down her cheeks. He swept one away with his finger.
“I was in shock.”
“Maybe. You also got in the car with me. Was that because you were in shock?”
She glared at him but it didn’t last long.
He didn’t want to push her further. He already had his answer about her second thoughts.
It was all he needed for now.
* * * *
Before Sierra could reply to Ryder’s comment, her stomach grumbled loudly and she groaned at the sound. “I’m starving.”
His lips curved in a smile. “Well, it’s a good thing breakfast is already here.” After swinging his legs over the side of the mattress, he walked to the table and returned with a tray full of food, placing it down on the bed.
She pulled her gaze away from his tight ass in his boxer briefs, clenching her teeth at the intimacy he was clearly already comfortable with. She wasn’t. Instead she pulled the covers up higher, covering her breasts and her bra.
“I can’t promise the coffee is still hot, but there’s enough pastries and muffins in here to quiet the beast,” he said with a laugh.
She glared at his joke about her noisy stomach, then turned to focus on the food he placed on the bed before climbing back into his side.
Picking which kind of muffin she wanted was a welcome, easy decision. Because as she ate—a blueberry muffin and then a scone, making up for not eating much at all yesterday—she was tortured by facts that were hard to admit to.
She’d rolled into Ryder in her sleep. She’d willingly turned to him in a way she’d never gone to Jason—they’d slept on separate sides of the bed, coming together to have sex when they were due, not out of some sense of innate need that couldn’t be contained.
When she looked back on yesterday, walking down the aisle after Ethan had asked if Jason was the man she really wanted, she hadn’t been sure. And when push came to shove, instead of fighting for her, Jason had stormed out, leaving her to Ryder. The guy who hadn’t let her marry another man.
That told her where she stood with her groom now. Not that they didn’t need to talk and have a rational conversation, if such a thing were possible. But she knew they were over. How could they be anything but? The truth hurt along with the loss of the future she’d clearly seen laid out for herself.
She glanced at Ryder as he watched her quietly. He’d always known when to talk and when to stay silent, reading her mind in ways Jason never had. She rubbed her eyes, wondering now why she’d thought settling emotionally or physically was enough for her. She ripped a piece of croissant off the end of the roll and shoved it into her mouth. No more carbs, she thought, finally feeling full.
She studied him through lowered lashes, knowing that they hadn’t yet had the much-needed conversation about their past. Given that she wasn’t ready to go home and face the ramifications of a canceled wedding, they had time before they dug that deep.
But they were here together now. “You’re crazy,” she muttered.
He grinned. “Can’t say I haven’t thought the same thing myself after yesterday. But in that moment, I couldn’t stand by and lose you forever.” He rose to his feet, picked up the tray, and put it back on the table, returning to her side of the bed and sitting down beside her.
He grasped her hand, holding her palm in his. “I always considered you mine, even after I let you go. I just didn’t let myself go there again.”
She saw the truth swirling in the green depths of his eyes, and she was forced to ask the question she’d wanted to put off, the one that had always haunted her. “Why didn’t you come to me sooner?”
He shook his head, letting her know it was obviously something he’d thought about before. “Because I’d made my decision to let you go so you could pursue your dreams and live the life you’d planned.”
She tilted her head to the side, wondering if she’d heard him wrong. “But I planned my life with you.” A life, a future, she’d seen it all in vivid color in her mind… until he’d shattered her dreams.
“But before me you’d wanted to go away to college,” he reminded her. “To have time to explore without your brothers always there, and you deserved to have those things. Not to make a choice at seventeen years old that would bind you to me for the rest of your life. I didn’t want you to end up resenting me.” He glanced at their intertwined hands, then up at her face.
She opened her mouth but he cut her off, placing his finger over her lips. “I know you wouldn’t have agreed with me. That’s why I made the choice for you,” he said.
“You had no right to decide for me.” She swallowed over the lump in her throat, a combination of pain and anger, unable to believe that while she’d always thought he’d ended things because he no longer loved her, he’d been looking out for her in his own misguided way. “What about after? Why didn’t you come to me after I came back from school?”
He groaned, the sound resigned. “I broke your heart. I devastated you and I didn’t think you’d give me another chance. You were dating and I thought you needed to do that, too. Then you met Jason and suddenly things were serious.” His thumb brushed over the top of her hand as he paused, deep in thought.
“I told myself it was what I wanted for you, to move on and be happy. I had my feelings for you bottled up so tight I never let myself go there emotionally. But then you walked down that aisle and I really saw you. And realized all I was losing. So when the minister asked if anyone objected, I didn’t think, I reacted.” He met her gaze, and in that moment, he was the same boy she’d fallen in love with. “I followed my heart and I can’t tell you I regret it. I only regret that you were hurt in the process.”
She shook her head, the truth as difficult to hear as it was for her to process. “Like I said, Ryder, you’re crazy.”
“Crazy for you,” he said, leaning forward and sealing his lips over hers.
He caught her off guard, but the heat and warmth of his mouth were familiar and surprisingly welcome. His lips moved over hers, his tongue darting inside as he licked, sucked, and devoured her in a way no man but him ever had. His kiss turned hotter, one that stated his intention to possess and stake his claim.
There was no other way to explain it and nothing she could do but grasp his shoulders and hold on for the ride while enjoying every second. He pushed her against the pillows so he could deepen their connection, and her heart pounded against her chest, desire for this man consuming her and f
orcing her to come to painful conclusions.
Losing Jason had been difficult. Embarrassing. Painful, even. But losing Ryder when she was younger had hurt even more. She’d always wondered what could have been. What could she have done to change the outcome of their relationship? What could their future have been if things had been different?
She never thought she’d have the chance to find out, but here they were. She lifted her hands to his hair and curled her fingers into the long strands, holding him to her, kissing him back as thoroughly and as deeply as he kissed her, until he lifted his head, breathing heavily.
“We’re good together, Sierra. And we owe it to ourselves to explore it further. I want to be the man to give you everything you want and need and dream of.” He met her gaze. “But it’s up to you. In the meantime, I need a cold shower,” he muttered before turning and walking away.
Leaving her to decide what happened next.
A few seconds later, the sound of the water turning on and running echoed through the pipes in the room. He was in the bathroom naked, droplets cascading over his well-honed body, soap making his muscles slick and wet.
She laid her head against the pillows and groaned in frustration. She could lie here debating what to do for the next two days she had in this hotel suite, a respite from the insanity and chaos that awaited her at home, or she could do what her body told her it wanted. What her heart had wanted since the day he’d ended things between them.
He’d hurt her once, walked away without warning. What was to prevent him from doing the same thing again? She couldn’t ever let herself forget that.
But she’d thought she’d moved on from him enough to marry another man. Clearly, she’d been wrong. Closure was important and she needed to know if her memories were just that or if he was going to forever ruin her for another man and a real future.
If that was the case, God help her.
She might not know what she wanted from life right now, but it had become crystal clear that it wasn’t Jason. But she also knew that just because Ryder had stopped her from being with another man didn’t mean he automatically fit into the space Jason had left behind.
With that warning firmly in mind, she contemplated exploring this thing between them and putting it to rest once and for all.
Chapter Three
Lifting the covers off her body, Sierra stood and unhooked her bra, dropping it to the floor, followed by her underwear. Then she drew her courage around her and headed for the bathroom, pushing the door open and stepping into the steam-filled room, her heart racing wildly in her chest at what she was about to do.
Ryder’s face was upturned to the water, and she took a second to admire the width of his chest, the hard muscles in his arms, and the way he braced his strong legs, his cock hard and standing upright. He obviously wanted her as much as she wanted him.
Desire didn’t scare her. It was the notion of falling hard for him all over again that frightened her. But she’d made her decision. She’d be brave and see where things stood, and right here, right now, she wanted Ryder.
Needed him.
Without waiting for him to notice her, she opened the shower door and stepped in. His eyes opened and flared but he didn’t hesitate. He pulled her against him, the hard ridge of his erection nudging against her belly.
She gasped at the feel of him, at the desire that spread through her and lit up her body, as his mouth descended on hers.
Water slid over her but she didn’t care, not when he was devouring her, his tongue delving deep into the back of her mouth, tasting her everywhere as it tangled with hers. With a moan, she wrapped her arms around his neck and gave in to the yearning that was consuming her.
In the past, their time together was often rushed, hidden from adults, stolen moments when they could be together. Today they had all the time in the world or at least as long as the water remained hot, she thought, holding back a laugh.
He gripped her head and tilted her neck, giving him deeper access to her mouth, his lips gliding over hers, back and forth, and she pushed against him, rubbing her aching breasts over his chest.
“God, I missed this. I missed you.” His huskily spoken words sent a shiver through her along with a hint of hope that she ruthlessly squashed.
“Tell me,” he said, nipping on her bottom lip.
“What?”
“That this isn’t just revenge sex. Angry sex. Tell me you want me, too.”
Dammit, he was going to dig into her emotions and there was no way to stop it. Because she couldn’t deny the truth, and maybe she didn’t want to anyway. She’d been denying her feelings for Ryder for way too long, and it was time that she was honest with herself, as well as with him.
“I’m not here because I’m angry or pissed or because I want to get back at Jason for walking away from me. I missed you, too,” she admitted.
And she had.
So much it hurt.
“Then take off the bracelet,” he said on a growl.
She blinked, looking down at her right wrist, which held a bracelet that Jason had bought her with their initials intertwined. He’d given it to her when their relationship had gotten serious, and she’d been wearing it for so long it had become a part of her. She’d forgotten she still had it on, and she said a silent prayer of thanks Jason’s best man had been holding on to her engagement ring along with the wedding band. Ryder’s reaction to that wouldn’t have been good.
Although she’d made no decisions about her life, she knew things were over with Jason or she wouldn’t be here now, with Ryder. She unhooked the bracelet, stepped out of the shower, and put it on the counter, returning to Ryder.
“Done,” she said.
With a groan, he slid his hands down her neck and over her breasts, cupping the mounds. She closed her eyes as he plumped her flesh, then pinched her nipples as he pulled, the mix of pain and pleasure shooting straight to her core.
She’d been young when they were together last, and sex had been hot and frenzied so as not to get caught by an adult or so she could rush home for curfew.
She hadn’t been his first, though he’d been hers. Another reason she’d fallen so hard so fast for him. He’d been patient and sweet that initial time. But they’d both been inexperienced despite the burning passion between them.
Now he was a man in charge, one who knew how to arouse a woman, and he was taking care of her with an expert touch. He slid his hands through the soap on the shelf, rubbing both palms together before turning his attention back to her breasts, soaping them up while playing with her nipples, alternately pinching then soothing the sting.
Her legs trembled, need pulsing in her core. As if he knew she needed him now, he dropped to his knees, pressing his mouth to her stomach in a reverent kiss.
“Oh God.” Just the sight of him kneeling before her had moisture settling between her thighs and her damn heart swelling in her chest.
He glanced up at her, then slid his mouth lower, over her pubic bone and to her bare sex. The anticipation was killing her, made more intense when he slicked his hands up her legs until they settled at her thighs, her body on edge as she waited for whatever he planned next.
He licked over her sex and she leaned back, her head hitting the wall.
“I’d forgotten how good you taste,” he said, following that erotic comment up with another teasing glide of his tongue. “I’m going to rectify that,” he murmured, then began to eat at her like a starving man devouring his last meal.
She had nothing to hold on to as he slid his tongue over her lips, nipping and licking over and over before thrusting it into her body. She whimpered at the slick invasion, shocked when he began to circle her clit with one thumb.
Her fingers curled into his hair as he worked her into a frenzy, her orgasm building fast as she came with a cry, her body not her own as waves of pleasure overtook her.
Coming back to herself, she realized he’d stood up and she looked into his satisfied expression. “Please
d with yourself?” she asked.
“Quite,” he said with a grin.
Glancing down, she saw his cock hard and erect, in need of attention. She reached between them, wrapping her hand around his velvety thickness.
He grasped her wrist and pulled her off. “I’m not coming unless I’m inside you.”
She moaned her frustration. “Why don’t the same rules apply to us both?” she asked as he slipped his fingers between her lower lips once more.
To her surprise, her hips bucked greedily, as they sought out harder contact, more friction.
He chuckled at her clearly mixed message. “Because I’m in charge, sweetheart.”
And as his finger pinched her clit, she couldn’t bring herself to argue the point.
“This pussy’s mine, baby. Nobody else’s,” he said as he slid one finger inside her, then another.
“Oh God.”
“Am I right? Nobody’s ever worked you up like this?” he asked, not mentioning anyone else by name, but Sierra knew he was staking his claim. And why.
And as he hooked his finger, gliding the pad over her G-spot, she felt as if he owned her. Her legs trembled, her body shaking as a need to climax built inside her. He knew just where to touch her and how. He rubbed over the spot inside her while holding her upright with one hand around her waist.
“Tell me or else.” He stopped all movement, gliding his fingers out of her body.
“It’s yours. Only you can get me this hot. Now don’t stop,” she implored him, and he immediately reinserted both fingers into her body, pressing, gliding in and out, taking her higher.
Before she knew it, she was coming, the waves of rapture rushing through her and consuming her whole. As she returned to herself, he was kissing her, rubbing his cock against her.
She moaned, arching into him, needing to feel him inside her.
“We need to talk,” he said, meeting her gaze. “I don’t have any condoms. It’s not like I came prepared for this. And I’ve never not used one.”
She looked into his familiar green eyes, and in this, she trusted him. “I’m on the pill. And I’ve never had sex without one.”
Take the Bride: A Knight Brothers Novella Page 4
