“Hogwash,” he snapped. His finger traced her cheek. “Your emotions, how you feel, will never be a burden to me, Dav. Remember that.”
She stared at him in wonder, before nodding. “Ye do no’ feel as though I’m betrayin’ ye because I’m sad to leave my family?”
“Hell no,” he said with a tender smile. “I’d think you a fool if you could leave all this and be unaffected.”
She stepped forward, into his embrace. “Thank ye, Simon,” she whispered. “I will miss them, but I’m ready to go home.”
* * *
Slims knew he was being fanciful. He knew his heightened awareness of the world around him came from his appreciation for the woman beside him and for the pleasure he had felt in her arms the previous night. Even so, he marveled at the valley blanketed in fresh snow and the drifts piled high from the fierce winds. The trees in the distance appeared as though covered in powdered sugar, their brilliant green branches dulled by a fine white coating of snow. It felt as though he were seeing the valley for the first time.
He recalled their conversation outside the bakery this morning and was filled with a sense of triumph. At the unfettered joy he had felt at her referring to the ranch, and thus her life with him, as home. Home. He had never felt more grateful for a simple word in his entire life.
He glanced down at Davina, when she shivered and moved closer to Slims as they passed by the turnoff to the small cabin. He half wished they could return to it and escape returning to the ranch. The other half of him never wanted to return there, for he feared any harm ever befalling his Davina. He knew they had been extremely fortunate that night.
When he felt her stiffen beside him, Slims reached out his hand, grasping hers for a moment, before he had to keep ahold of the reins. “There’s no need to be tense, Dav,” he murmured. “No one will be upset we married.” He smiled at her and then winced. “Except Sorcha. She’ll be irate she missed another wedding. She loves weddings.”
Davina wrapped her arm through his, tugging the blanket over them as much as possible, as she sat cuddled up beside him on the sleigh. “I hate denyin’ her the chance to see us wed, but I canna say I’m sad the preacher wed us. He was none pleased about it, but it should help with the gossipin’ townsfolk.”
Slims shook his head, as he steered the sleigh toward the lane leading to the ranch. “Aye,” he murmured, leaning to the side to kiss her head. “I’ll have to ask Frederick what a good gift for his grandparents would be. Harold deserves something special for cornering that man into marryin’ us.”
She giggled and waved at Shorty, as he raced from the barn to meet them as the sleigh bells jingled, heralding their arrival. “Shorty, ’tis good to see ye!”
Shorty scratched at his head, his astute gaze taking in the cozy way Davina sat beside Slims. “Seems you have a tale or two to tell after your trip to town. Did you make it in before the storm?”
Slims hopped down and then helped Davina out. “No. Got stuck in one of the old cabins. Had to hole up for the night.” Shorty watched him with a fierce intensity in his gaze. “Caused some ruckus in town.” Unable to help it, he beamed at his friend. “Davina and I married last night.”
Shorty’s eyes bulged, and he belatedly sputtered out a stuttering, “Congratulations.” He eyed Slims as though he were about to become mired in the pigpen but then shook his head, muttering, “Some things can keep another day.” In a louder voice, he said, “I’ll see to the horses and to the unloading of the supplies with Dix and Dalton. You should enjoy a short … honeymoon.” Again his voice faltered, and he shook his head at his friend.
“Thanks, Short,” Slims said, nudging Davina away from the sleigh and toward a cabin on the opposite side of the driveway, away from the big house. When she stumbled in the snow, he swung her into his arms, laughing as she shrieked.
He pushed open the door and carried her inside. “Welcome to our home,” he murmured, looking around the small, slightly dusty space. “If I’d known we were to marry, I would have had the men clean it up.” He set her on her feet, watching her intently as she glanced around the small space. A kitchen and a table were to one side with a small stove that would heat the room, with a bed pressed into a corner. In the free space were a rocking chair and a gentleman’s high-backed chair. “I know it’s not much …”
She stood on her toes and pressed her hands over his lips. “Nae, ye dinna ken what I’m thinkin’.” Her luminous smile made his breath catch. “I woke this mornin’, wishin’ we could have a cozy home like the one we slept in last night. An’ now we do.” She looked around with wonder. “’Tis more than I could have hoped for.”
“Davina,” he breathed, tugging her into his arms.
“An’ then, to have ye carry me over the threshold.” She sighed. “Thank ye, Simon. I was distraught last night that ye would no’.”
He shook his head in confusion. “Why would I? That wasn’t our home. This is.”
Her smile softened. “Aye. Home.” Linking her hand with his, she stilled at the knock on the door.
Slims released his hold on her, answering the door to see Dalton, Dixon, and Shorty outside. Shorty carried food, while Dalton and Dixon hefted in armfuls of wood. “Thank you,” Slims said.
“Short told us the news,” Dixon said, yelping when Dalton hit him on his arm with a piece of wood as he was about to say something more. “Congratulations.”
Slims watched the interplay between the men but decided it wasn’t something he cared to worry about tonight. Tomorrow would bring her problems soon enough. For now, he wanted to spend more time with Davina and to learn as much about her as he could.
“Thank ye, Mr. Dixon,” Davina said. She giggled as each man kissed her on her cheek, before traipsing out the door.
Slims sighed as he shut and latched the door. He moved to the stove to build a fire to heat their small home. “They’ll be as loyal to you as they are to me,” he said.
She watched him in confusion, as she settled in the rocking chair. “Why? They dinna ken me as they do ye. I’ve done little to earn their loyalty, except cook them meals. There is no reason for them to be loyal to me.”
Slims waited for the kindling to catch, the light from the flames playing over his face. “You’re my wife. Thus they will respect you as they do me.”
Shaking her head, she smiled. “I dinna ken a thing about runnin’ a ranch. I hope they dinna expect me to give them orders on the proper way to work with the beasts ye have wanderin’ this land.”
He chuckled. “They’re cattle, not some mythical creatures, and I’m afraid you’ll soon know more than you want to about the running of a ranch.” He watched her as she gazed at him with adoration and hope. “I fear this will be an isolating life for you, Davina.”
She reached forward, her fingers tracing the strong lines of his jaw and scraping through his whiskers. “Nae, never. I have a cousin with bairns here an’ more family than I could have imagined in town. I may not ken much about ranch life, but I’m certain there will always be work for me to do.” She bit her lip. “An’ I’ll have ye, aye?”
He smiled, moving to her and falling onto his knees before her. He ran a hand over her braided hair and then down her arm. “Aye, always.”
* * *
Davina snuggled into Slims’s arms, ignoring the small voice in her head that warned her that she was adapting too readily to being in another man’s arms. Where had her desire to live as an independent woman gone? She kissed his shoulder and pushed aside that thought as she sighed with contentment.
“Are you well, darlin’?”
She shivered at his tender question and tone, pressing tighter against him. “Aye,” she whispered, suddenly battling a severe shyness. She rested her head on his shoulder, wanting to hide her gaze from his.
“What’s this?” he asked, tilting her head up to him. “Come, Davina. There’s no need for shyness now. Not after bouts of lovemakin’.” He chuckled as her body blushed pink at his words. He ran a so
ft hand over her back and up again. “Do you … Would you prefer I found another place to sleep tonight?”
“Nae!” she gasped, her hands clawing into his shoulders to keep him in place. She smiled up at him as he chuckled and nodded.
“Good,” he said. “But I don’t want you to feel uneasy due to my presence.”
She dropped her head, her eyes closed, as though saying a silent prayer. “I never thought to find comfort laying in a man’s arms again.” She opened her eyes to meet his ardent gaze. “I believed such joy was to forever be denied me.”
He tugged her even tighter into his embrace, smattering kisses over her head, cheeks, and neck. “You are a woman meant to be treasured, adored, and well loved. I still can’t believe I’m the man fortunate enough to hold you like this.”
She kissed him but broke off the kiss as a torrent of tears poured out with such speed that he couldn’t brush them away with his fingers. They broke over his hands, as though a river overflowing a dam, dripping off her chin. She tried to turn away from him to hide her embarrassing display of emotions, but he only held her close as her tears wet his chest.
“No, Davina, no, love,” he murmured, as he held her close, rocking her side to side as she sobbed. “Shh, my darlin’, you are safe. No one will hurt you here. I promise on all I am as a man.” He continued to hold her and to soothe her with soft words until her breaths came out in staccato bursts.
“Forgive me,” she said in a creaky voice. “How mortifyin’.”
He shook his head, cupping her cheeks in his palms to prevent her from turning away from him. “No, my darlin’, not at all. What you just shared with me was as truthful as our lovemakin’. And as great a gift. Thank you.” He kissed her forehead, sighing with a deep sense of peace. “Thank you for trusting me with your pain.”
She shook her head, her shoulders rising and falling slightly. “I dinna ken why, but I do.”
His brown eyes shone with a fierce pleasure at her words. “Please be honest with me, Davina. Tell me what it was like with your husband. What did he do to smother the fire that burns so brightly inside you?”
Another tear formed, finally freeing and rolling down her cheek. “He was no’ a bad man, aye? Never hit me.” She shuddered at the thought. “I kent enough women who suffered that plight. Husband gone with drink, an’ he claims he dinna ken what he was doin’.” She shook her head. “Nae, I thought myself fortunate because Ian only wanted a clean house and supper on the table.”
She looked at her hands, which had unconsciously risen to grip Slims’s shoulders, as though taking strength from him. With a sigh, she continued. “I quickly learned there are other ways to inflict punishment. Words are as strong a weapon as a fist, aye?”
He nodded, his hold on her gentle.
“I was deemed a tease an’ a flirt because I danced with a man at the harvest dance. I was also vain and conceited because I wouldna cut my hair.” Her voice emerged in stuttering breaths. “I was worthless as a woman because I could not bear bairns who would live outside my womb.” She ducked her head. “I was a failure, a pathetic excuse for a woman,” she whispered.
“Lies,” Slims rasped. “All lies.” He waited for her to look at him, but she kept her head lowered. After long minutes, she finally met his gaze. “You are magnificent and brave and the most worthy woman I have ever met. I’d kill anyone who dared to harm you or to speak such vile words to you,” he vowed.
“What if I can’t give you a child, Slims?” Her eyes glowed with the agony of her fear. “I ken ye said ye dinna care, but all men want a son. Ye’ll come to think of me as Ian did.”
He growled, clasping her head and leaning forward so their foreheads touched. They both breathed fast, sharing the same air. “Never compare me to that worthless excuse for a man. He had heaven in his arms and didn’t have the sense to know it.” He eased away, his thumbs caressing under her eyes, as though searching for errant tears. “I do not lie to you, Davina, and I never will. That is a vow I make to you.”
He waited for her to nod. “If we have a baby, for however long he or she lives, I will cherish him or her.” He cleared his throat, as though it were constricted from a deep emotion. “I will not lie and say the thought of a bairn with you doesn’t fill me with joy. And terror.” He smiled at her tenderly. “And I will mourn if he or she is not with us for longer than a few months.” His gaze bore into hers with a fierce determination. “But I would never take out my pain on you. And I would never allow you to mourn alone and to bear the brunt of that suffering to ease my own. I want to share everything, the good and the bad with you, Davina. That is what I dream of for our marriage.”
“Slims,” she whispered. “Be patient with me.” She turned her face into his soft caress. “I want the same, but I canna give up my fears so easily.”
“I will dream, every day, that the pleasure of your present outweighs the pain of your past,” he breathed as he arched down to kiss her.
* * *
“Slims?” she whispered, hours later, when she knew she should be asleep. The soft rhythm of his breathing continued unabated, and she knew he was asleep. However, he raised a hand to brush at her long hair shining in the faint light like a beacon.
“Yes, my darling?” he asked, his breathing unchanged and eyes closed.
“How many others have ye … cared for as ye care for me?” She winced as she felt him freeze beneath her.
“None,” he breathed, heaving out a sigh. His gaze met hers, and he stared at her with blatant curiosity.
“What about the woman from your youth?” she whispered, biting her lip as his gaze shone with the remnants of that betrayal.
“I thank God every day you’re nothing like her,” he whispered. “She was hell-bent on bringing about my destruction and ruining everything I held dear. You, you are the opposite.”
Davina blushed with his praise.
“I’ve not been a monk, Davina.”
She froze at those words, flushed, and nodded. “Of course not. I’m no’ a fool. I ken what men are.”
“What men are?” he asked with a tilt of his head. “Not all men will prove a disappointment.” He lowered his voice to a near whisper, but it was all the more potent for its low volume. “I’ve not visited the Boudoir. Not once.” He waited for her to meet his gaze again. When she did, he gave a grunt of approval. “The last woman who interested me, well, she found another man.”
“When was that?” Davina traced circles on his chest and held her breath.
“Not too long ago.” He chuckled. “But then time’s relative when you’re as old as I am and livin’ on a ranch with few prospects.”
He moved so she was underneath him, earning a squeal of delight in surprise, and held her hands in his. His gaze roved over her, filled with satisfaction and a seemingly endless well of desire. “How I want you, lass,” he murmured, having picked up that word from Sorcha and her family. He paused as he detected something in her gaze. “And it’s not just the physical. I want to know what you think. What you dream about. What interests you.” He paused, flushing as she stared at him in wonder but remained silent. “Forgive me. I know few desire such a marriage.”
He released her arms and flopped onto his back, letting out a huff of frustration as he stared at the ceiling, while the wood crackled in the stove.
“Nae!” she gasped, following him until she sprawled on his chest. “Ye misunderstand. I never thought to have a marriage like ye describe.” She swallowed as she bravely met his guarded gaze. “I never dreamed a man could want such a marriage with me.”
He let out a harsh breath, tugging her up his body until he could kiss her. She sat with her legs around his waist and her arms propped on his shoulder, holding him close as the kiss deepened. His hands twisted in her hair, while his tongue tangled with hers. Breaking the kiss, he gasped out, “Only a fool wouldn’t want such a marriage with you, Dav. You’re every man’s dream, come to life.”
Davina bit her lip, fighting he
r instinctual need to protect herself and thus deny what he said. Instead she smiled shyly and batted her eyes at him. “Aye, I am.”
He laughed, easing her to settle down onto his chest. “There,” he whispered. “You’ll accustom yourself to such praise, and I’ll have to worry about giving you a big ego,” he teased.
“Only with you, Simon,” she breathed.
“Aye, my darlin’, only with me.”
Chapter 7
Davina entered the big ranch house the following day around midmorning, listening for the sounds of her cousin. Although Davina wished she could remain outside, now that it was a brilliantly bright day, it remained too cold to linger for long outdoors. Memories from the previous nights she had spent with Slims flitted through her mind, and she couldn’t help a contented sigh as she looked to join her cousin and to tell her all about her adventures in town. When Davina heard Sorcha singing softly in the back room, she moved in that direction to join her, walking on silent feet so as not to awaken the babes.
She paused at the doorway, listening to the mournful song about a woman’s lost love and her endless search to regain the love forever out of her reach. Shivering, Davina focused on her cousin. Rather than contentment, it appeared that Sorcha was agitated and distraught. “Hello, Sorcha,” she whispered, after seeing the bairns asleep in the corner of the room.
“Davina,” Sorcha said, her tormented gaze meeting hers. “’Tis good to see ye at last.” She flushed and lowered her gaze, under the pretense of focusing on her spinning wool. However, Davina had the sense Sorcha did not want to meet Davina’s gaze.
“Are ye well? Did somethin’ happen to the bairns while I was away?” Davina asked in a rush.
“Nae, dinna fash yerself,” Sorcha murmured. “All is well.” She grimaced. “As well as it can be.” Her light-blue eyes shone with concern. “I was told ye married.”
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