It’s a damn good thing he’s not giving a Ted talk right now. Not a single woman in this room would retain any information.
Jay Ross is sex on a stick.
“Hello. First, I’d like to thank the university for giving me the opportunity to be here today to share with all of you the love I had for Sam. I’d also like to thank Summer, Sam’s mom, for allowing me to date her daughter and for welcoming me into their family with arms wide open.”
I glance over my shoulder to see Summer blow Jay a kiss and place her hand over her heart. I wasn’t the only person she adopted. We were all one big family, Mia and Spencer included.
“I’m not going to lie and say my relationship with Sam was perfect. We all knew her, so we knew how stubborn she could be.” Laughter rumbles through the crowd but I can’t tear my eyes away from Jay. “She was a feisty little thing. Always full of energy. Ready for her next adventure. She found a way to make everyone smile, even in their darkest times. She brought out the best in those around her. And when she loved, she loved with all her heart.
“I wasn’t good enough for Sam. I didn’t deserve her. I knew it, and I tried to push her away in the beginning, but she wasn’t having it. She just pestered me until I agreed to take her out and the rest is history. Our first date was a bit of a disaster. It was Valentine’s Day, and I didn’t make a reservation. We spent most of the night driving around, looking for somewhere to eat. We ended up in an Arby’s parking lot three towns over. It wasn’t my finest moment, but by the end of the night, she had me hooked. Life was an adventure to Sam. That night was no different. It didn’t matter that we were eating curly fries in a dimly lit parking lot. We were together, talking, getting to know each other, and that’s all she wanted from our first date. The food and location didn’t matter. We were together and that’s what was important to her. From that moment on I tried my best to make her as happy as she made me, but I feel like I failed a little more every day. If she were here, she’d probably disagree with me. She ‘would try to fight me on my statements. And you know what, I’d be okay with that. Because that would mean she was here still. I’d fight with her every day for the rest of my life if given the chance.”
Jay breaks eye contact with the crowd, lowering his head and taking a deep breath. Once he raises it again, his composure is back, and his eyes are locked on mine.
“We all have memories with Sam that we’ll hold onto for the rest of our life, that we’ll keep close to our heart, so we don’t forget her. Remember the good times, forget the bad. Remember her smile and her laugh. The way she brightened up a room when she walked in. Lock those details away, and when you think of Sam, think of her fondly. That’s what I’ll always do. She will always have a place in my heart. Thank you.”
He doesn’t break eye contact with me as he places the microphone on the podium and makes his way back over to our table. Turning back to face our friends, I scan their faces to find tears in their eyes, Jay’s words striking deep.
“That was a beautiful tribute,” Summer says, reaching across the table to take Jay’s hands in hers after he’s seated again.
“She was a beautiful woman with a big heart,” he replies, placing his free hand on my leg beneath the table.
I’m still staring at their clasped hands when the dean commands the microphone again, startling me. Blinking twice, I feel the first tear fall. Before I can wipe it away, Jay’s taken my face in his hands and his thumbs catch the strays, and the set that follows after.
“Thank you all again for coming out. We’ll be releasing lanterns in honor of Sam tonight at dusk from the fifty-yard line of the football field. Please make sure you’re at the stadium no later than six o’clock so you have time to personalize your lanterns. Tonight’s speaker as we send our love to Sam up in the heavens will be her best friend, Andrea Morris.” The mention of my name has me closing my eyes, releasing a fresh set of unshed tears. “Tomorrow will also be a day of celebration. The first annual Samantha Bridges Memorial Race will begin in the parking lot of Riley’s Pub at nine o’clock and conclude at the unveiling of the new fountain at the center of Central Park where the fountain will be dedicated in Sam’s honor. I hope you can join us in celebrating Sam’s life as we mourn her death as a community on the fifth anniversary of her tragic passing.”
With that, I hear the microphone turn off, the speakers popping softly overhead. When I finally open my eyes a few minutes later, Jay and I are alone at the table. He’s still holding my face in his hands and staring at me with concern etched between his brows.
“I’m okay,” I say, letting out a sigh, my voice lacking the conviction I was hoping it would have. There really is no point in lying to him. Everyone is riding the same emotional rollercoaster I’m on. The feeling of loss is a freshly opened wound again. I’m not in this alone, yet I feel the need to push him away. Push them all away.
“You need to get some sleep.” He’s studying my face as he speaks.
“Well, if someone wasn’t knocking on my door at all hours of the night, maybe I would be able to,” I counter, raising my left eyebrow at him in challenge.
“I promise I won’t tonight.” His words are a complete contradiction to the growing smirk on his face. Before I can question him further, he’s pulling me out of my seat, lacing our fingers together, and we’re walking out the door. I barely have time to wave at Mia and Spencer who are talking with Summer and the dean. All four of them are staring at us as we glide out the exit. Mia’s eyes are glued on our clasped hands, a sinister smirk on her face.
“Where are we going?” I ask as I almost trip over my feet in an attempt to keep up with his long strides.
“You’re tired.”
“And we’re rushing back to my room because you want me to take a nap? We have to listen to those interviews, Jay. Time is not on my side here. The chief expects me to deliver the profile in forty-eight hours. I can’t stop to rest right now. I need to nail down de—”
“We,” he interrupts. “We need to nail down details. You’re not doing this alone.”
“Fine. We need to eliminate potential suspects. Go over the files again to make sure we didn’t miss something important that could help us identify who did this to her. I can sleep when I’m dea—”
I cut myself off as Jay jerks me to a stop.
“When I get back home,” I quickly correct myself.
“I lost you before, Drea. I don’t plan on letting that happen for a second time. You need to rest. You’re running yourself into the ground trying to solve this case. It’s not good for you. You’ll think better after a nap.”
“You never lost me,” I protest, averting my eyes, but that does nothing to cool the heat creeping up my neck from his stare.
You can’t lose what you never had, I think to myself.
Releasing my hand, Jay slides his arm around my waist and tugs my body to his. Leaning in close, he nibbles my earlobe before whispering words that crack the last of my resolve.
I want him. Damn the consequences.
I’m not strong enough to resist the magnetic pull he’s had on me the last seven years. Not anymore. I fought the good fight for as long as I could. Now, I’m giving in. Willingly. I’m going to allow myself to have the one thing I’ve denied myself.
Jay.
He’s not a piece of bread. It’s not like you’ve been avoiding carbs all these years. He’s a person. There’s a reason you kept your distance. Ignored your heart. Her name is Sam.
Shaking my head in an attempt to shoo away the negative thoughts of my conscience, I take in our surroundings. We’re standing in the middle of the sidewalk. Campus is practically deserted with the exception of the attendees of the brunch, most of whom are still mingling in the student center. Still, I make sure no one is watching us. The last thing I want is an audience.
“I lost you the night Sam introduced us.” His words are punctuated with a kiss to the sensitive spot behind my ear. “I lost you after I kissed you on New Year’s E
ve.” Another kiss and I’m starting to tremble in his arms. “I lost you the night I tried to claim you before spring break.” He moves lower, kissing his way down to my collarbone, eliciting a moan. “I thought I lost you for good when Sam died.”
Then he kisses me again, this time tugging the collar of my shirt to the side so he can kiss my shoulder, and a shiver runs up my spine, causing goosebumps to pebble my skin. My heart is pounding, my breathing strangled. All the heat in my body has rushed to my lower extremities, my need multiplying rapidly.
“I won’t lose you again. You can try and fight me all you want but I know you still want me as much as I still want you. Since the day we met. I felt it then and I feel it now. I see it in your eyes, in the way your body responds to me. The way it’s always responded to me. From the goosebumps that cover your skin to the way you claw at me like you can’t get close enough. How you kiss me like your life depends on it.”
My body has a mind of its own. One hand is gripping his shoulder, the other his waist. I’ve slid my left leg between both of his, and even as he speaks and presses his lips against my skin, I find myself learning in.
“What do you want?” I ask, breathless, my words coming out sounding needy.
“You, Drea. I want you. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.” He kisses his way up the side of my neck, and my eyes flutter closed the closer he gets to the place I want them most. When he pulls away, his lips never touching mine, I open my eyes to see exactly why.
The usually light depths of his hazel eyes are dark, completely masking the dark blue hues around his irises. His pupils are dilated. There’s a wild look in his eyes to match the uneven breaths he’s taking.
“We have to go,” he says as voices in the distance grow louder.
As soon as I nod, he takes my hand again and we’re rushing back to the Hideaway. To my room. Where we’ll be hidden from prying eyes. Alone. With no one to stop us but ourselves.
Chapter Ten
The latch of the door echoes through the room as I stare straight ahead. I feel Jay approach rather than hear him. The hairs on the back of my neck are standing on end before he steps up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. My eyes drift to the mess we left on the bed, photos and paperwork covering the blanket everywhere except where we had been sitting.
“I’d like to have that conversation now,” Jay says, his lips pressing against the side of my neck. Tilting my head to give him better access, I let out a little hum as a reply. “I even brought snacks.”
I hear the rustle of cellophane, and then feel something pressed into my hand. When I look down, there’s a mini pack of gummy bears in my palm.
“My favorite.”
“I know. I still buy packs when I go to the gas station.”
“You hate gummy bears,” I state, turning in his arms so I can look into his eyes. Hazel globes I’ve wanted to get lost in since the moment we met.
“Yes, but there’s this girl who loves them and I’ve been holding out hope that one day I’d be able to share my stash with her.”
His eyes are alive as he takes in every aspect of my face, raising his hand to trace the path his eyes take. From my right cheek to my ear and then my chin. He gives me a little pinch before rubbing the pad of his thumb over my bottom lip, parting them as my tongue licks the seam.
Without asking this time, he leans in and gently presses his lips to mine for a brief moment. When he pulls back, he seems to contemplate his next move before leaning back in, this time stealing my breath.
My arms wrap around his neck, pulling him closer, begging him to deepen the kiss, as my fingers tangle with the hairs at the base of his neck. Needing no more urging, Jay’s tongue dives into my mouth, and the dance begins.
Our breath mingles.
Bodies pressing against one another.
I’m lifted off the floor, my back hitting the wall as my legs wrap around him, drawing him closer.
The second his hard length presses against my core I let out a moan that’s captured by Jay and silenced by his kiss. His hands grip my ass so tight I’m sure he’s going to leave marks. I return his enthusiasm, tugging his hair so hard I wouldn’t be surprised if I ripped some out of his head.
That doesn’t stop his assault on me or mine on him.
He leans back only long enough to remove his shirt, pulling it over his head without unbuttoning it, and tossing it across the room. His lips return to mine, demanding control of the kiss. It’s not until my hands begin wandering over the hard ridges of his chest that he lowers me to the floor and takes a step back.
We’re both breathing heavily. The gleam in his eyes is primal. I recognize the look. It’s the way I feel deep in my soul. It’s filled with need, pent up for years and ready to finally be released.
“Shirt,” he demands.
Without giving it a second thought, I raise my arms over my head, and seconds later my shirt goes flying in the same direction Jay’s did. His eyes devour every inch of my bare skin, heating me despite the cool temperature in the room that has my skin pebbling with goosebumps.
“You are so beautiful, Andrea,” he says, reaching out and tracing a path from my neck to my belly button with just his finger. “Inside and out, you are the most gorgeous woman I have ever met.”
If my panties weren’t already drenched from his kiss, his words would have done it.
“I’ve been waiting for this moment for so long. I’ve wanted you every second of every day I’ve known you. I may have been with another woman, but it was you I wanted. Then and now. Forever. Always.”
“Then have me,” I hear myself say.
That’s all the encouragement he needs to pull my body against his and reclaim my mouth. This time he’s slow, gentle. Savoring every moment as he explores my body with his hands, caressing parts of me that haven’t felt attention in far too long.
When I feel the button on my pants release, I suck in a breath and my body stills.
Yes, this is what I want. What I’ve always wanted. To be with Jay.
Why am I nervous now?
Oh, yeah.
I haven’t been with a man in exactly a year, the last time being on the anniversary of Sam’s death. My assistant convinced me to go out for drinks, and I let a guy who reminded me of Jay take me home that night. He was clumsy and smelled of stale beer and cigarettes.
Still, I pictured Jay when he touched me. Held my breath and imagined it was Jay when he was inside of me. I kept my eyes closed and lived in a fantasy land until he collapsed on top of me two minutes later.
As soon as he fell asleep, I left. He called me at least a dozen times in the following days. Sent me flowers at the office and sweet text messages before finally giving up. I couldn’t even bring myself to let him down easy. I ignored him until he went away.
He wasn’t Jay. He never would be. There was no reason to pretend. It would only cause us both pain in the end, and I was living with enough as it was.
“Don’t worry,” he pushes the band of my pants over my hips and releases them to pool at my feet, “I’ll go slow.”
“I don’t know if I can handle slow,” I hear myself confess.
I’m already on edge, ready to explode. I felt what he was packing when he had me against the door. I’m going to come undone from anticipation the second he pushes inside of me.
“Thank God.” He lets out an exasperated sigh as he begins fumbling with his own pants, his lips still pressed against mine. “I’m not going to last much longer.”
As soon as his pants are shed, left in only his boxer briefs, Jay begins carefully but quickly picking up the mess we left on the bed. Once everything is stacked neatly on the desk, he extends his hand to me, and I place mine in his. The second our fingers connect, he pulls my body to his and captures my lips again.
The fire inside of me sparks and roars back to life as if it’s been an hour instead of a minute since I felt his touch.
He walks us backwards toward the bed, and once we reach it,
he gently lays me down on top of the blanket, crawling over me to cover my body with his. We stay like this for a while, our kisses heating up and then slowing down, hands wandering, exploring, bodies rubbing against each other.
Jay rolls so I’m on top of him, straddling his waist. The second I’m seated on top of him, I grind my hips and watch his eyes roll to the back of his head as he lets out a long growl.
“You can’t do that again unless you’re ready for us to lose the rest of our clothes. I won’t survive.”
My only response is to grind against him again, this time slower. Once. Twice. The third time, his hands fly to my hips. Gripping and guiding my body as I continue to grind against him.
I can feel my body reacting to his. I was already close, and every time I slide forward, I get closer. My body is strung so tight it’s going to break at any moment. Shatter into a million pieces.
“Best torture ever,” Jay whispers beneath me. His eyes are closed but he’s still helping me rock my body up and down his.
“Jay.” His name comes out as a plea. I need him. I need more.
A devious smirk grows as he lifts his hips, pressing into my core as I grind against him again. His dimple is winking at me as he does it again. Once more, this time as he opens his eyes, and I fall apart on top of him, my body slumping forward as little orgasmic aftershocks rip through me.
Jay doesn’t stop his torturous assault. He flips us over, spreads my legs, and presses his impressive length against my core again and again until he finds his own release moments later.
The only sounds in the room are from the ticking clock on the wall and our labored breathing as we lay side by side, attempting to catch our breath.
Staring up at the ceiling, I count to ten and then back to one, breathing in and out slowly. My heart is pounding so hard against my ribcage it feels like it’s attempting to escape. And I know exactly where it would go.
A Moment Too Late Page 9
