by Chelle Bliss
I follow, entranced by the way her hips swing as she enters the hallway. Even in the semidarkness with only dim lighting overhead, I can still see the perfect sway.
I’m tucked into the back corner, out of the way but within arm’s reach of the door. A few people wander out, and each time the door opens, my heart leaps and then is crushed when I see it isn’t her. If I wouldn’t get thrown out of the place, I’d kick everyone out of the bathroom and lock us inside.
Leaning against the wall, I wait as patiently as I can. The alcohol in my system is cheering me on and making my judgment a little fuzzy because in no way is this a good idea.
When the door finally opens and Evie steps out, I grab her by the arm and haul her backward, spinning her around to face me. Her eyes are wide as she collides with my chest.
“Evie,” I whisper and drink her in.
Her hand pushes against my front as she tries to wiggle free of my hold, but I don’t give her the chance to get away before my lips crash down on hers.
At first, she doesn’t kiss me back, but she’s no longer struggling to get away. I wrap my arm around her middle and pull her closer, leaving no space between us.
Then it happens.
Her desire takes over as she melts into me and brings her arms around my neck.
The kiss isn’t like any we’ve had before.
We were kids the last time we were in this position, and the kiss wasn’t as hungry.
Time has done this.
Distance and time have made the need for each other grow.
I figured she was lost forever, but now that she’s in front of me, attached to me at the mouth, I’m not letting her go again.
Our tongues tangle together, needy in their dance around each other. Her breathing is ragged just like mine as the kiss grows more demanding.
Trying to get closer, I slide my hand up her back and tangle it in the back of her silky hair, holding her to me. I place my other hand at the small of her back so that every inch of my body that can touch her is.
God, she feels remarkable in my arms.
Her tiny moans vibrate through my body, causing my cock to grow. It makes the need to be inside her so strong that, in my alcohol-induced haze, I know I’d fuck her right here, right now.
We gasp for air and stare into each other’s eyes without saying a word. There’s nothing that needs to be said. No denial can be believable after a kiss like that.
We both want each other.
The feelings we had years ago still simmer under the surface.
It doesn’t matter if she’s with Evan; she still wants me.
“Evie.” My hand slides down her back, resting on her ass as I give it a firm squeeze, pressing her middle into my erection. “I want you,” I tell her as our gazes are locked and hungry. “I need to be inside you.” I thrust my cock against her ever so slightly, and her eyes roll back in her head. “You want it too.”
“I can’t,” she whispers back but doesn’t pull away.
“You can.” There’s nothing she can say to make me believe that she feels that way.
Evie sucks in a breath and exhales slowly. Her hands slide down my front and come to a rest on my chest. “Jack, let me go.” She starts to push away, and I grip her tighter. “I can’t do this. We can’t do this,” she pleads.
“We did. You kissed me back. You love the way my arms feel wrapped around you. The way my touch makes you feel alive. I feel that for you too, Evie.”
“Is there a problem here?” a woman asks after walking out of the bathroom and being nosy like most people in Ridge Hollow.
“No problem,” I tell her without looking up.
“I have to go,” Evie says, pushing against my chest harder and ignoring the woman standing behind us.
I tilt my head down, my breath tickling her neck. My lips are caressing her earlobe as I speak. “Just remember, you’ll always belong to me, Evie. Always,” I tell her, finally releasing my hold on her.
She stands there for a minute and gapes at me without saying a word. Her lips are so bee-stung from our kiss that she’ll be unable to hide it from Evan.
I want him to know she’s mine. She always has been, and soon she’ll be in my arms permanently.
“That won’t happen again. I’m not yours anymore.” Her fingers glide over her swollen lips. The memory of the kiss has to be playing through her mind. I know it is in mine.
Damn, her lips tasted good.
“Lie to yourself all you want. You still love me.”
She glares at me and lets out a soft grunt before turning her back on me, marching toward Evan.
She can run back to him and play it safe for now, but it won’t last. I’m under her skin as much as she’s under mine.
Jason’s waiting for me when I return, tipped back in his chair with a big ole shit-eating grin on his face. “Whatever you did really pissed her off. She flew out of here as soon as she came out.” Jason laughs.
“She’s just mad that she still loves me.” I grin. I’m tempted to push it away and go after her, but I stay to let her have time to come to her senses.
Buzzed or not, I know I love Evie and that she’ll always be mine.
10
Evie
I can’t sleep.
Every time I close my eyes, the memory of kissing Jack keeps playing through my mind. I give up and grab my robe off the end of the bed and tighten the tie at my waist. I tiptoe down the hallway to the stairs in an effort not to wake Evan.
When I round the corner to the kitchen, he’s sitting at the island counter. “Can’t sleep?” he asks, tracing the rim of a mug with his index finger.
“No.” I turn on the teakettle to make myself a cup of tea before leaning on the counter across from him.
“Why don’t you just give in to him already? You know you love him, and he loves you.”
I cover my face with my hands. “You don’t understand. I’m not that girl anymore. Things have changed.”
“Whatever happened in the past is the past. I can tell you still love him. Don’t try to deny it either. You aren’t fooling me or yourself. You know it. There’s no one else you talk about and light up the way you do when you mention his name.”
I groan, letting my arms flatten against the Formica counter, and I rest my forehead against my forearms. “He threw me away, Evan. When I needed him the most, he threw me away like I meant nothing.”
He broke his promise to me. Jack promised me forever, and after a few months, he was done waiting.
“You were kids, Evie.”
I lift my head, just enough to stare him straight in the eyes. “We weren’t ten. He said he loved me. He said he’d always be there for me. When I needed him the most, he vanished. He let me down, Evan. I can’t forget the past. I wish I could.”
The whistle of the teakettle deters Evan from saying whatever intelligent, witty thing he was about to spout. I right myself and turn my back, plucking a bag of Earl Grey from the tin.
Evan’s studying me, watching me closely as I slide my mug of hot water across the counter and walk toward him before taking a seat on the stool next to him.
I can feel the judgment in his eyes, but I don’t dare look at him. No one knows me better. Jack did once, but now it’s Evan and me against the world. He knows all my secrets, every fear I’ve ever had and every nightmare I’ve lived through in my short twenty-three years.
He knows I’m lying and avoiding how I really feel. I’ve never loved another person the way I loved Jack. I never gave anyone a chance to get that close to me. Just Evan, but then, he’s gay, and there was never a chance we could become anything more than friends. There was no danger to my heart with him. Jack holds the power to destroy me. I don’t think I could survive it if he hurt me again.
“I won’t let you ruin this,” he says softly.
Looping my finger around the tiny string, I dip my tea bag inside the mug repeatedly. “There’s nothing to ruin.”
He shakes his head an
d gives me a judgmental sideways glance. “I think I have a hard head. But, man, you sure know how to hold your ground.”
We sit in the relative darkness of the kitchen, just the light above the stove creating a warm glow in the tiny space. I ponder his statement for a minute as my tea turns just the right shade, and I pull the bag out, setting it on a dish in front of us.
Am I being stubborn? I don’t think so. Jack still hasn’t acknowledged what he did.
Has so much time passed that I should just forgive and forget?
Too much has happened for it to be that simple. There’s more than just the fact that he forgot me and threw me away. Things have happened that Jack may never forgive me for if he finds out. I’ve spent six years with the memory of our relationship haunting me, while he moved on.
He forgot about me so easily, as if I had never mattered. As if what we shared wasn’t special or maybe even real. No, that’s a lie. I know it was real. The connection we shared is still there. I can’t deny that, but…
“He didn’t want me before he saw me, Evan. I was just a memory to him. Once we’re gone, he’ll forget me again.”
“I’ve seen the way he looks at you. He might have forgotten you before, but now…he’s not going to be able to. That man wants you and, girl, he intends on having you.”
“There’s no going back,” I tell him before blowing across the surface of my tea in hopes I don’t burn the shit out of my mouth as I take my first sip.
Evan gently squeezes my free hand, being my rock like always. “Why don’t you just tell him, then? Why are you so worried he’ll be mad? If you don’t want him back, tell him, and let him be so angry he never wants you again.”
“I can’t do that.”
My stomach turns at the thought of telling Jack about the one thing I’ve kept hidden from everyone in my life except for Evan.
At times, I lie to myself and pretend it never happened. It’s easier that way. My heart aches a little less with the fairy tale I choose to believe instead of the cold, hard reality of a secret I’ve kept hidden.
Evan turns toward me, setting his cup down. He props his elbow on the counter and rests his head in the palm of his hand. “This is why I’m gay. I’ll never understand women.”
I laugh softly and turn to face him. “You’re gay because you like dick. No man understands women, so you can’t use that as an excuse.”
He laughs. “That’s true. Very true. Cock is the best, isn’t it? And you’re right, women are so messed up.” His eyes are bulging out as he shakes his head.
Evan and I met during senior year. We had been dragged around the world by our parents. Neither of us was happy about it either. We became friends, both miserable in Germany and ready to break free as soon as we received our diplomas and earned our freedom from military life.
We spent a few years backpacking around Europe, trying to forget our pasts and make a new future. I didn’t have time to fall in love, nor did I want to.
I had Evan.
What more could a girl want?
He’s my companion, the best friend I have ever had. We clung to each other and formed a new family. When he came out to his parents right after graduation, they shunned him. Especially his father. The angry, hateful names he called Evan can never be forgotten or forgiven.
My relationship with my parents quickly deteriorated too. When I told them I was putting off college for a few years to travel, they were dismayed.
My father ordered me to enroll in college or join the service, but I just laughed. By the time I said goodbye, there was so much hostility, they were happy to see me go. Our relationship had never been an easy one. It stung a little, but I had been planning my escape from them even when I was back here and dreaming of a future with Jack.
Evan and I became a team and our own little family. We’ve been like this for five years. Nothing and no one has come between us. They never will.
Letting Jack in again feels wrong. Even if I did love him, I would feel I was giving up the last person I could depend on for someone who had crushed me in my past.
As if he can read my mind, Evan says, “You’ll always be my family, Evie.”
I drag my gaze to his and smile softly as tears start to form in my eyes. “You’re all I have left, Evan.”
He tucks a lock of hair behind my ear. “That’s not true. You have other people who love you just as much.”
I know he’s talking about Jack. Everyone else is gone. My mother died two years after I left Germany, and my father had a massive heart attack a month ago. His remains are sitting in an urn in my bedroom, waiting to be buried in the family plot at Ridge Hollow cemetery.
“I’m scared.”
“Take a chance. Sometimes, you just gotta leap, darling.”
“When are you going to leap, sweetheart?” I try to take the pressure off me and put it on him.
We’re quite the messed-up pair.
Evan hasn’t tried to find love. He’s always with me. We both stay in our little bubble, unwilling to let ourselves get hurt. He is just as afraid as I am. We use each other to protect our hearts. No one can hurt us if we don’t let them in. But Jack has been in my heart since the day we met. He will always have the biggest pieces of it too.
“As soon as I know you’re okay.”
“I’m fine,” I scoff, tipping my chin to call bullshit on his statement. “You’re just making an excuse.”
“I’m doing no such thing. We made a pact years ago. I never forgot it.”
“We were kids, Evan. You can’t live by something we promised each other when we were nineteen.”
“But you punish Jack for something that happened before that. Why shouldn’t I be held to the same standard?”
I walked right into that one.
“Nice.” I twist the mug in my hand, staring down into the contents like it’s going to show me what I should do, but nothing happens.
“The truth stinks sometimes.” He slaps me in the face with my own words, giving me nowhere to hide from a truth I can no longer deny. Evan turns back toward his tea, and we sit in comfortable silence.
Opening myself up to Jack won’t be so easy a second time. With so much distance shared between us, there may be no going back to where we left off. Too much has happened, at least, in my life. I’m not sure where his life has taken him, but somehow, we’re both in Ridge Hollow at the same time.
I’ve been back before, usually staying under the radar and never running into him. I’ve slipped in and out without being noticed by too many. But I’ve never stayed this long.
It’s Evan’s fault we made this trip longer. Every time we came, he fell in love with the quaintness of the small town. He mumbled some mumbo jumbo about how it reminded him of many of the small villages we visited in Europe and how he felt at home here.
I let him talk me into renting a house for a month, although I told him we wouldn’t stay longer than two weeks. He laughed as he always did and told me to let things unfold on their own. He wanted time to explore what Ridge Hollow had to offer even though I told him it was just a tiny country town in the middle of nowhere.
I couldn’t deny feeling as if I finally had come home again. Even though I only spent four years of my life here, nowhere else felt this right. I had so many great memories that surrounded me at every turn that I couldn’t deny it was truly the one place that felt like home.
I can’t help but wonder if it’s fate that has brought me here. I don’t know how else to explain it. Could I give Jack a second chance? My mind screams no, but my heart cries yes.
