by Chelle Bliss
makeup on my face.
“Do you want to read his obituary?” Evan asks as I enter the kitchen even though he already knows the answer.
I pour myself another cup of coffee into the mug that I carried down from upstairs. “Is all the information correct?” My back is to him as I speak.
I’m on edge and getting crankier as the minutes tick by. The cemetery is the last place I want to be today. There are too many memories, and ghosts will haunt me. I wish I could skip it altogether. I can’t do that, though. I must be an adult and handle my business.
“Yep.”
I shrug, closing my eyes as I take a sip of the coffee. “I don’t need to see it.”
“Can you handle this today?”
I turn slowly, staring at my best friend, and lean against the counter. Could I handle this? I really don’t have any other option. I’ve been to the cemetery dozens of times, and today won’t be unlike the others.
“With you by my side, I can handle anything,” I tell Evan with a bittersweet smile.
He gets up off the stool and rounds the island to stand in front of me. He places his hands on my arms, slowly stroking my skin to comfort me. “I won’t leave your side, babe. I’m all yours. Anything you want, you got it. I’m always here for you.”
I place my coffee cup on the counter and rest my head against his chest before wrapping my arms around his middle. “Thank you, Evan. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Jack,” he says with a little laughter as I punch him in the stomach. “Did you have fun last night, at least?”
“What do you think?” I grin as I back away from him and grab the coffee from the counter.
“Looks like you had a better time than me.”
“Oh, no. What happened? Hot doc not so hot?” I raise an eyebrow because I want to know the details. I need him to ramble on about anything except where we’re headed. Death is the last thing I want to discuss.
“He’s about as exciting as a piece of toast.” Evan rolls his eyes. “The man doesn’t even eat dessert. Who doesn’t eat dessert? It’s unnatural.” He shakes his head and scoffs.
My nose scrunches. “Oh, shit. He’s definitely not a keeper.”
He shakes his head in disgust. “I can’t be with someone who doesn’t appreciate a great cupcake or even a cookie, for shit’s sake. I had to listen to his speech about how sugar is bad for your body.”
I laugh softly, trying not to make a mockery of his date or his obsession with baked goods. This is the reason I love Evan. Not because of his inability to pass up a cupcake, but because of his joy for life. Even the smallest things bring him happiness, and he’s taught me to savor the small stuff because everything could end in an instant. Life has taught me that.
“Kurt lectured me the entire time I ate my red velvet for dessert. I wanted to reach over the table and smack him.” His hands animate the motion. I try not to laugh, but Evan is so comical.
“Did you leave him at the restaurant? I didn’t hear you come in last night.”
“Nah, I figured after I listened to all his bullshit, I’d at least let him suck my cock for the hassle he put me through.”
I gape at him, unsure if he’s lying or not. “Seriously? Evan! You did not.” I can’t fight my laughter this time. He’s terrible.
“Uh, yeah. You listen to that bullshit for a half hour and not want something out of it. At least he gave decent head.”
I’m still gaping at him. I shouldn’t be in shock. This is Evan, and I shouldn’t expect anything less from the man. “Well, are you going to call him again?”
“Only if I need my cock sucked. Other than that, he can fuck off and find some health nut that doesn’t consume sugar for sheer pleasure. I don’t have time for that in my life. Fuck that, Evie. No time for that unnecessary bullshit.”
As I finally regain my composure and take another sip of coffee instead of gawking at him, I say, “You’re harsh.”
“Says the woman who’s been pining over her high school sweetheart for six years.”
It’s my turn to roll my eyes. “You know why I haven’t moved on.”
“You’re still in love with him. I get it. Just have the balls to go after him and be done with it.”
“We have history.”
“It’s in the past. Jack wants your future. You deserve to be happy. Jack makes you happy.”
I sigh loudly and place my coffee cup in the sink because I’m done with this conversation, and it’s getting late. “Ready to go?”
“We’re not done with this conversation. I want all the details about last night.” Evan grabs the keys from the counter and walks toward the door.
I follow behind him and check my reflection in the mirror one more time before I head out to the porch and then climb into the rental car. “There’s not much to tell.”
“You’re not getting off that easy.”
I spend the next ten minutes going into detail after Evan harasses me for more than I want to share. He doesn’t only want to know about Jack’s size, but shape, girth, and everything.
“Damn, girl. You better hold on to that one,” he says after I lay it all out.
“I don’t know, Evan. I haven’t told him anything yet. I know he’s going to freak out. I don’t think my heart can handle losing him again.”
The very thought of never seeing Jack again makes my chest ache. I survived for six years without him, but it wasn’t easy. Now that he’s back in my life, even in a small way, I can’t imagine never seeing him again. Especially not after last night. We had chemistry. Our bodies knew what to do, and he was right that this time was so much better than when we were teenagers.
“He’ll be okay, Evie. Trust me. When someone loves you like he does, he’ll look to the future instead of the past.”
I stare out the window as we pull into the cemetery. I hope Evan is right. The only two people I have left in this world that I love are him and Jack. I can’t imagine losing another person and surviving.
My heart beats erratically as we pass by the row where my family plot sits. My palms begin to sweat, and I rub them together out of nervousness. Yesterday, I felt on top of the world in Jack’s arms, and today, there’s a dark cloud hanging above me that makes all the happiness of yesterday evaporate.
When he learns what happened, he may never look at me again. All I will be left with are the memories. I don’t want that. I want him.
15
Jack
When I finally make my way downstairs, my mother and Myra are sitting at the table drinking coffee like last night never happened.
“Good morning.”
“You’re in a good mood,” Myra says as I pour myself a cup of coffee.
“What’s not to be happy about? The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, my two favorite ladies are getting along, and I spent time with the woman I love last night.” I grin.
Myra stares at me as I sit down across from her. “You were with Evie last night?”
“Yep.” I pop the P as I point at her. “Your little shenanigans interrupted us.”
She frowns and seems genuinely apologetic, which isn’t the norm when it comes to anything about Evie. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. I have all day today to spend with her.” I smile brightly and lean over to kiss my mom on the head. “You doing okay, Ma?”
“I’m fine, sweetheart. Myra is safe, and you’re here and happy.”
I get serious for a minute. “Ma, I want to talk to you about something.”
Myra stops typing on her phone and peers up at me with curiosity. She is probably afraid I am going to rat her out, but I wouldn’t do that. I gave her my word as long as she never gets mixed up like that again.
Ma touches my arm. “What’s wrong, Jack?”
“Nothing. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, and I want to buy the farm from you.”
Her eyes widen like large saucers, and she gasps, grasping her chest with her hand. “You want
to what?”
“Buy the farm. The whole forty acres,” I tell her before blowing on my coffee and taking a sip, careful not to burn my mouth.
“Why?” she asks, still looking gobsmacked.
“Philly has never felt like home.”
“Plus, Evie’s here,” Myra adds with a small smirk.
“That too. I want to settle down and raise my kids here.”
Myra’s body rocks backward like my words are a direct hit. “Kids?”
“Future kids,” I correct myself.
“What am I missing?” Ma asks, looking at Myra and then back to me.
“I’m so excited,” Myra says, fist-pumping the air. “You’re moving back.”
“Evie and I are together again, and we’re going to need someplace to settle down and raise a family. We started here and have so many great memories. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be, Ma.”
“The farm is worth over a million dollars, Jack. It’s too much.”
I wave her off. She still doesn’t understand that I own my business, and it’s a successful one at that. “Ma, I can afford it. The business is doing amazing.”
I know what I want. What my life has been missing. Being with Evie last night put everything into perspective for me.
She scrunches her nose as she stares at me. “But you barely ever work. I don’t understand how you make money.”
“People buy the stuff online, and we have employees that fill the orders. Right now, it works like a well-oiled machine. I got this, Ma. Don’t worry.”
“I just don’t understand technology.”
“Thank God you’re not my target audience.”
“What?” She gawks at me.
Myra snorts, almost spilling her coffee all over the place. “I’ll explain it to you someday, Ma. One thing at a time. Don’t overwhelm the woman, Jack.”
“If you two are a couple, why aren’t you at the funeral with her?” Ma asks.
“What funeral?” My stomach twists with dread.
“Her father’s burial is today at Shady Brook Cemetery.”
“When?”
She holds up the local newspaper and glances at the clock on the wall. “Right about now.”
Her words almost knock me on my ass. “Shit.”
What the hell?
Evie didn’t say a word to me yesterday about her father’s funeral. I’m a little heartbroken over that little fact, but maybe she figured I wouldn’t show up because I hate the bastard. But I’d be going for her, to be by her side and hold her hand. Even though he was a heartless prick, he was still her father.
I rush out of the house, not caring that I am in a T-shirt and jeans. Hopping into my truck, I drive right to the cemetery. I need to be by her side. We have been apart for six long years, but that is over now. Starting today and every day from here on out, I will always be with her when she needs me, no matter what.
As I enter the cemetery, I expect to see a line of cars near the area where her father is about to be buried. I’m shocked when I only see Evan, Evie, and a priest.
Evie is laying flowers at a nearby grave, and Evan’s standing by her side, resting his hand on her shoulder. I watch Evan and Evie from a distance before I climb out of my truck.
If I didn’t know any better, I’d think they were in love. They care so deeply for each other that there’s love between them but not the same kind of love that I have for Evie.
I can’t believe no one else is here. When my father died, everyone from the town showed up to pay their respects.
The Bailey family didn’t live in Ridge Hollow long enough to make many friends. Although, it didn’t help that Mr. Bailey was an asshole and didn’t go out of his way to be friendly to anyone. The lack of attendees at his graveside shows what a heartless bastard he was even after all these years.
Evie’s holding her face in her hands, crying as I walk toward them. I remember how heartbroken I was when I lost my father. His absence left a hole in my family that will never be mended. If I could take away her pain, I would in an instant.
Evan looks over his shoulder and catches a glimpse of me. His eyes widen, and he squeezes her shoulder. “Evie.”
I guess no one expected me to show up for his funeral. My gaze follows Evan’s as he looks between me and the headstone, which Evie is sitting in front of, still crying.
I blink, unsure of what I’m reading.
My heart stops as I rock backward.
My mind reels from the words inscribed on the stone.
It can’t… The name…
Willow Nelson
Beloved Daughter and Angel
Born 2011 – Died 2011
It can’t mean what I think it means. I read the inscription once more.
Wait.
2011?
Nelson?
I rock backward and feel light-headed. My throat starts to close as I stare at the headstone in front of me. I’ve never been more stunned in my entire life. Evie had our baby and never told me about her.
Willow Nelson.
I feel more sadness than I’ve ever felt in my entire life. I rejoice in the birth of a child and mourn her death all in one breath. Moments I missed. The sound of her cry. The smell of her skin. I wonder if she looked like Evie with blond hair and big blue eyes or if she looked more like me with my golden skin and more pronounced features.
My feet are frozen to the ground, and I can’t bring myself to speak. There’s so many things going through my head, and my body’s swaying back and forth as if the images are hitting me one by one, knocking me backward with each blow.
I can picture Evie as I remembered her years ago, alone, holding a newborn, scared.
Did she wish I had been there?
Did she want me there?
I should have been there.
She should have told me.
“Jack,” Evie says after she turns to me, but I’m not looking at her.
I barely hear her speak. It’s as if she’s miles away, calling my name. I just stare straight ahead at the name of my little girl. The one I’ll never meet and never hold. Never tell her how much her daddy loves her. I’ll never be able to go back and watch her be born.
All I have is this moment.
The moment of her birth.
The moment of her death.
Rolled into one second and I’m helpless to change it.
“Jack.” Evie wraps her arms around me, nearly knocking me backward and momentarily blocking my view as Evan walks away, giving us privacy. “I’m sorry, Jack. I am so, so sorry,” she whispers.
