by Mia Madison
Definitely a bad idea.
7
I look like complete shit.
Staring at myself in the mirror after a night of very little sleep was a big fucking mistake. I showered to attempt to rejuvenate myself, but it had no effect on the dark circles under my eyes.
I felt like shit as well. Partially because of the lack of sleep, but also because of the guilty feeling I got from running away from Landon the night before.
I wondered if his night was anywhere near as rough as mine. The thought seemed absurd, though something told me it was true. It made me feel even worse about how we left things.
At eight in the morning, a knock on my door forced me out of my slump.
It wasn’t out of the ordinary for Mom to drop by on the weekend. It was shocking to find Landon Connors standing in my hallway.
“What are you doing here?” I asked as I clutched the edges of my bathrobe together to preserve my modesty. “And how did you know where I live?”
“I’m technically your employer. I made a copy of your identification, remember?”
I did remember that, but only after the stupid question had flown out of my mouth.
“And the first question? What do you want?”
It was then that I noticed the dark circles lining his eyes and the knot in my stomach tightened. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans and fixed me with a frustrated look.
“I can’t wait until Monday. We need to talk about what happened before I go mad. May I come in?”
It was hard to argue with that, especially since I probably wouldn’t be functioning by Monday morning if I couldn’t get any sleep. Might as well get it all straightened out sooner rather than later.
“Come in.”
I opened the door wider, staying carefully hidden from the hallway in case anyone walked by and saw me in my bathrobe. I already had a creeper across the airshaft—I really didn’t want to deal with one on my floor as well.
“I’m sorry for just showing up like this. I would have called if I thought you would answer.”
“You could have texted. I would’ve read it at least. I definitely would’ve put some clothes on if I knew you were coming.”
I added the last part as a joke to lighten myself up, but the ravenous look in his eyes as he scanned me from head to toe made me regret speaking the words. Kind of.
Okay, I was sort of flattered by the desire plainly written on his face. I couldn’t help myself. I rationalized it by telling myself that any woman would have been flattered by his attention.
“I wanted to apologize,” he said in a monotone voice before forcing his eyes back to mine and clearing his throat. “I, uh… I’d like to blame the wine, but I’ve honestly been wanting to do that for a while now.”
“Then why are you apologizing?”
“Because you didn’t want it. I hope you realize I would never force you into anything and it certainly wasn’t my intention to get you drunk and take advantage of you. I… Fuck, I feel like an asshole. I can’t imagine what you must think of me.”
“I… Not that. I know you aren’t like that.”
“I promise it won’t happen again. I’ll keep things between us strictly professional if that’s what you want.”
What did I even want anymore? I knew I didn’t want to lose Landon’s presence in my life and despite my past telling me I shouldn’t get involved with him, I didn’t want to lose the way he looked at me. To say I was torn felt like a massive understatement.
At the very least, I wanted to be honest with him.
“I don’t know what I want,” I whispered, shrugging helplessly. “I really don’t know.”
Landon’s eyes widened, watching me like a hawk as he asked, “What’s holding you back? What did he do to you, love?”
“How did you—actually, you know what? Never mind. I guess it’s obvious enough.” I blew out a long breath and said, “He used me.”
“For what? Art? Sex?”
“Money. He used me for my parent’s money.”
He was stunned silent for a long moment. Then, to my horror, his eyes started scanning the living room as a look of understanding crossed his face.
“He played you. He took your money and your parents cut you off in return.”
“That’s pretty much it. In a nutshell.”
I tried to shrug off the discomfort as he looked at my crappy apartment, but it refused to budge. I couldn’t imagine what he must be thinking after seeing my parent’s extravagant home and coming here to find… this.
It was the very reason why I never invited my old friends over. I made sure to always go to their place instead. Either that or meet them out for coffee or lunch, though I tried to avoid that as much as possible while funds were so tight.
“Look at me, love,” Landon ordered, framing my face with his palms and offering me a wry smile. “If the fear of history repeating itself is all that keeps you from pursuing this, allow me to be frank with you. I know your father well enough to know how wealthy he is. That being said, I’d be willing to bet that I’m better off than your parents. I have no reason to use you.”
“What about for the reasons you mentioned?”
“I don’t use you for art. I’m happy to pay you for your time. As for sex… I’m just not that kind of man. Too many emotions are involved with sex—or at least good sex—for me to want to abuse that. It’s much more meaningful when it’s real. Do you understand?”
I really didn’t and I wasn’t sure how to express that without coming off as naive or inexperienced. I bit my tongue and settled for a slightly unsure nod, breathing a mental sigh of relief when he smiled and accepted it.
“Is there anything else that worries you?”
“The age gap,” I blurted. “Doesn’t it bother you?”
“Not particularly. But if it bothers you, I need to know. There’s nothing I can do about that, unfortunately.”
“It… It feels a little weird, but I wouldn’t say it bothers me. It’ll just take some getting used to. I’ve only ever dated men my own age.”
Landon seemed pleased by my answer. His expression was slowly turning into the giddy excitement he had the day prior and I couldn’t stop myself from mentally replaying our kiss in my mind.
God help me, I wanted another. I wanted more.
“Anything else?”
“Nothing comes to mind.”
Landon stepped close, smiling down at me as he whispered, “May I kiss you now?”
I nodded and he closed the distance between us. This time, my hands went to the back of his head and tangled in his hair to hold him to me. He dominated the kiss with ease, gripping my own wet hair in return while his other arm wrapped around my back much like it had during our last kiss.
I allowed myself to get lost in the feeling of his lips—so lost that I forgot I was only wearing a bathrobe until I rubbed my chest against his and felt the fabric parting. With a gasp, I pulled back and closed the robe, looking up in time to catch his eyes lingering on my chest.
“Did you—”
“Just skin,” he said hoarsely. “But it was enough. I should go before this gets out of hand.”
Part of me was okay with the possibility while the other part was thankful for the sign of respect. I smiled and nodded in agreement, taking a perverse pleasure in the way his throat bobbed with a rough swallow.
“Would you object to a phone call this evening? I’d like to talk more without the… temptation.”
“I’d like that. Call me after dinner?”
“I will. Until then, love.”
After I shut the door behind him, I flopped on my couch and stared up at the ceiling, praying to anyone who would listen to let this work out better than my last entanglement with an artist.
8
We talked for hours on Saturday night and ended up doing the same thing on Sunday. By the time Monday rolled around and he was waiting for me at the entrance of his building, it almost felt like I never e
ven left his side.
“Welcome back,” he said fondly, his smirk betraying the fact that he felt the same way as I did.
“It’s been too long,” I joked, snickering at the weird look Phil gave us before I stepped inside. “Did you sleep well?”
“Very well. You?”
“Like a rock.”
Truth be told, after hours of listening to his voice while laying in bed, I pretty much masturbated as soon as we ended the call.
I blushed just thinking about it. A quick glance at Landon confirmed that he spotted it. He was always watching me. Thankfully, he said nothing about my sudden embarrassment.
Which only made me wonder if he did the same thing.
As I was considering whether it would be crude of me to ask, the elevator brought us to his floor and I shrugged off the thought. It felt like any other day of work right up until I felt his palm hovering over the small of my back as he guided me forward.
“I do remember the way, you know.”
“I know. I just wanted to touch you.” He unlocked the door, glancing back with a raised eyebrow. “You look surprised.”
“Only that you’re being so blunt.”
“I promised you honesty, didn’t I?”
The tone was teasing, yet something seemed off about the way he said it. Maybe it was the uneasy look on his face or the small sigh that followed. All I knew was that something was wrong.
“What’s up?” I asked, getting more paranoid by the moment.
“It’s nothing. Just a bit nervous about work today.”
“Why?”
“I can’t help but think that the past two weeks were a fluke. I feel as if all my progress is going to come to a grinding halt at any moment.”
I took my coat off and placed it on the hook that was reserved for me before facing him.
“Well, I’ll do the best I can to make sure you stay inspired. If you want me to do anything in particular, just let me know.”
“It’s probably best if you don’t make offers like that. A man might be tempted to ask for something unseemly.”
I could tell he was teasing me—I knew he wouldn’t ask for anything outrageous—so I decided to tease him back.
“It never hurts to ask, now does it?”
The shock on his face was well worth the possibility of him calling me out. Besides, even if he did, I wasn’t bluffing. There were only a few things that came to mind that I would outright deny. Like posing nude.
Not that I was object to getting nude. I just didn’t want it recorded in any format.
Landon cleared his throat and shut the door, rubbing his hand across his jaw with a look of disbelief for a split second before heading into the studio. As I opened a bottle of water and took my seat, Landon prepared himself to get to work. All business. Very professional.
“So… What’d you do last night?” I asked as I fidgeted in my chair.
“I spoke to you on the phone. Not much else besides that.”
“Not much else? What does that entail?”
Damn it, I just couldn’t help myself. I needed to know if he was in the same boat when we hung up. I wasn’t sure if he was clueing in until his head slowly cocked to the side and he grinned like a maniac.
“I slept. I slept astoundingly well, to be precise.”
He was going to make me say it. I couldn’t. I could not blatantly ask if he jerked off after our conversation. If it were anyone else, I’d have been able to. I wasn’t exactly shy about these things, after all.
But this was Landon Connors. He was intimidating enough to make any girl a little nervous.
“Did you sleep well because of our chat?” I asked with an air of innocence that totally didn’t match the naughty mental image playing in my head.
“In a manner of speaking.”
“Oh? How’s that?”
“Quit beating around the bush, love,” he said pointedly. “No pun intended.”
“I think you can read between the lines well enough. Do you really need me to spell it out for you?”
Landon laughed at my dry tone. God, his dimples would be the death of me. How could any man be so damn handsome? I couldn’t even think of a celebrity that affected me as much as he did.
“I don’t need you to. However, I’d love to hear you say it. Don’t be shy, love. Ask me.”
“Oh my God,” I muttered, covering my face with my hands and shaking my head. “I swear—sometimes I think you take pleasure in making me uncomfortable.”
“Only a little.”
“How reassuring.” With a heavy sigh, I threw my hands up. “Fine. I’ll spell it out. Did you… Did you jerk off after we got off the phone?”
My face was beat red when I dared to glance at Landon. He was grinning from ear to ear, staring at me with a mischievous glint in his eyes.
“I did. And you?”
“Sorry. I lack the equipment necessary for jerking off.”
Landon’s shoulders shook with laughter. It bought me enough time to let go of some of my embarrassment and I prayed that my face had returned to its normal color.
Once he regained control of himself, he shook his head and said, “You know what I meant, but I suppose I’ll let it slide. I’m pretty certain of the answer regardless.”
“Oh yeah? Why’s that?”
“Why else would you have asked me?”
He cocked his head to the side with a triumphant grin and a raised eyebrow, knowing he had caught me. I couldn’t deny it without outright lying, so I shrugged instead.
“You can believe whatever you’d like.”
“I believe in the truth, darling.” Landon left the painting to come closer, crouching down in front of my chair and gazing up at me with a knowing look. “And the truth is that my voice excites you. I see your reactions to me, you know.”
“Because you’re always fucking watching me.”
“I am—even when you think I’m not.”
I’d worn my hair down and judging by the look on his face, he definitely appreciated it. He raised a hand to take a lock between his fingers, twisting it softly and letting out a pleased hum.
“We spoke for four hours last night, love,” he murmured distractedly before his eyes snapped up to mine with a heart-stopping level of intensity. “For how many of those were you wet?”
Oh, shit. I decided the night before that I wanted to take the next step with Landon, but I hadn’t expected this. I planned to hang out after the work day and hopefully get an invitation to spend the night. Landon staring at me with desire first thing in the morning hadn’t even crossed my mind.
Not that I was against it. I was just overwhelmed by how quickly it was happening. In the back of my mind—the only part of me not affected by his proximity—I knew I needed to say something before it went any further. Taking a deep breath, I prayed that I was doing the right thing.
“I have to tell you something.”
He tilted his head, frowning a little as he dropped my hair. “What’s that?”
“I was afraid to take this job because I was afraid of this happening.”
I pointed between the two of us, feeling helpless when he started to back away in concern.
“I’m not finished. I… The part of me that was hurt so badly by Mark still says this is a mistake. But I can’t ignore the part that’s screaming at me to see where this goes.”
Landon crouched back down in front of me, this time taking my hands in his. When I finally worked up the nerve to look him in the eye, he spoke.
“Harmony, I want to promise you that this thing between us will work out, but I can’t. It’s simply too early to say that with absolute conviction. What I can promise is that I will never use you for anything and I’ll never purposely hurt you. I do want you, but I want your happiness more than anything else. It would break my heart to bring you pain.” Landon squeezed my hands gently, looking nervous as he added, “It’s up to you to decide whether or not that’s enough.”
It wasn’
t a declaration of love—which was good because something like that probably would have freaked me right out—but it only took me a split second to make a decision.
“It’s enough.”
He released my hands and grabbed my hips so fast that it didn’t even register in my mind until he was pulling me out of the chair and into his lap. He dropped to his knees and put his weight on his shins, balancing me over him as he gripped the back of my head and brought our lips together for a long, slow kiss.
When we finally broke apart, I breathlessly gasped, “Is it too early to go back to bed?”
“No. Not if that’s what you want.”
I nodded, sighing with pleasure when he began trailing kisses down the column of my neck.
“You’re what I want.”
He groaned softly against my skin and murmured, “I’m all yours, darling.”
And I knew he meant it.
9
We continued making out until Landon forcefully pulled away, stating that the floor of his studio was no place for our first time together. I whined in protest until he lifted me up against his body, my legs and arms wrapping around him as he carried me toward the apartment door.
The trip to his bedroom took an excessively long time. If we had walked separately, it would have gone smoother. As it was, Landon stopped multiple times to press me against a wall and kiss me senseless. I reveled in the sound of his muffled groans whenever I would grind myself against the hard bulge pressed against me.
“Enough,” he growled after tearing himself away from my lips. “I need to see you.”
It was obvious what he wanted—even more so when we reached his bedroom at last and he deposited me on my feet before backing up to lean against the bed. His arms folded across his chest and he watched me with a lazy smirk, waiting for the show.
I stripped slowly, my eyes never leaving his face. It made me feel powerful to watch his expressions. The smirk disappeared in favor of awe, his heavy eyes opened wide to scan every inch of skin as it was revealed. By the time I was down to my bra and panties, his hands were twitching at his sides, restless with the need to touch.
