‘Amen to that,’ I said raising my glass. They both clinked it. I was so relieved. ‘I hope we can all hang out, I missed you guys when I was in London.’
‘Definitely,’ Lorna said firmly. ‘We’ve had a lot of fun this summer, long may that continue.’
‘And if I get some free meals out of it too…’ Adam winked, and we both laughed.
‘I will need to test out all my dishes on you guys,’ I said. ‘You won’t be able to get out of it.’
‘Speaking of food, shall we order some?’ Adam said, grabbing a menu.
‘Always hungry, this boy,’ Lorna said, rolling her eyes.
I grinned. I loved their sibling relationship. They made me think of Brodie. I’d missed his church service today as I was with Cameron but next Sunday I’d be there. I wanted to be as close to him as Lorna and Adam were. And that made me think of the next people on my list. It was time to repair my relationship with my family. It had been a long time coming after all.
Chapter Fifty-Two
Brodie drove us to Inverness on Monday evening. It was still daylight as we left Glendale to go back to our childhood home together. I hadn’t been there since Christmas but now I lived so close I was determined to improve on my usual annual visit.
‘I can’t believe it’s almost September – the baby will be here so soon now,’ Brodie said as we drove. I had changed his radio station to one that didn’t send me to sleep and the sun was warm on my elbow hanging out of the open car window. ‘Emily wondered if you’d like to come and see the nursery when we get back? We redecorated while you were in London… Well, I did, while Emily supervised.’
‘I’d love that,’ I said. I would never be maternal myself but I was excited to be an auntie, and I wanted to feel part of their family. No, actually – my family.
He smiled, pleased. ‘I’m glad. It’s really nice having you here. Right, here we are.’ He parked outside our childhood home. It was always strange walking back in as a grown-up. Sometimes I felt like I went back in time after I walked through the door, becoming younger in an instant, as if I’d stepped through a time portal. It was the memories that hit, I supposed. It was hard not to look at the sofa I used to lie on after the accident, a blanket draped over me, bored and restless but the pain preventing me from doing much to occupy myself, looking out of the window longingly.
‘Hello, darling,’ Mum said when she opened the front door with a warm smile. She leaned in to kiss Brodie and then she saw me and did a double-take. Brodie had told them he was coming around but hadn’t mentioned me.
‘Surprise,’ I said, hoping she’d be pleased to see me.
‘You’re back,’ she said haltingly before leaning in to kiss my cheek too. ‘Well, well, come in you two, your father is in the living room.’ We passed her and she closed the door. I felt her eyes on my back as I followed Brodie into the living room, the one that been my convalescence room. I knew it was one of the reasons that I avoided returning home for long visits, I really didn’t enjoy the reminder of that time, but I needed to try to move past that. It was just a room. My parents were here – that was a reason to come back. I needed to focus on them and not thoughts of the past. This summer had made me realise how much I needed to try to move on.
‘Anna!’ my dad cried when he saw me. He jumped up to hug us both. ‘We didn’t think we’d see you again so soon.’ It was sad how shocked my parents were to see me so soon after they had come to Brodie’s house.
‘I’ll get the teas,’ Mum said, hurrying into the kitchen.
‘How’s the guitar playing going?’ Dad asked me as we all sat down. I sat in the armchair – I still avoided that sofa.
‘I’m enjoying it. I’m going to sign up for some classes, I think.’ I glanced at my brother. ‘The college offers music lessons.’
‘The college?’ Dad asked.
I waited until Mum returned with cups of tea and a plate of homemade biscuits, and then I explained. ‘I’ve decided to do a chef diploma at a college in Inverness. It will be a part-time course so I can carry on working at Glendale Hall while I study. Beth is happy for me to do that. So, I’m back in Glendale for the foreseeable.’
‘You’ve decided to live there?’ Mum said, her voice going a little high-pitched. My dad put down his tea in surprise. ‘Past the summer?’
I nodded. ‘The course starts at the end of September. I really love cooking, I’d love to work in a restaurant, even open my own one day, if that’s at all possible. And it just makes sense to do it here so I can earn money at the Hall and have a place to stay as well. I don’t know what will happen after the course but, for right now, I’m staying.’
‘Oh, Anna, I’m so pleased!’ My mum jumped up and hurried over to hug me. Now I was the surprised one in the room.
‘I’m really proud of you,’ Dad agreed, his voice catching at the end. Oh god, was he going to cry?
‘So, we will be seeing a lot more of Anna,’ Brodie said with a smile. ‘Which is great news, isn’t it?’
‘I’ll say,’ Mum replied, sitting back down, looking a little overcome. ‘And you’re going to be a chef too! Oh my goodness, are these biscuits okay?’
I laughed. ‘Delicious.’ I was so happy that they were happy. I had spent so long feeling like a disappointment to them but now I didn’t feel that way at all.
‘Maybe I’ll get a guitar and take some classes with you,’ Dad said then, his eyes lighting up. ‘I’ve been wanting to for ages.’
‘That would be brilliant,’ I agreed. I felt bad that he had stopped playing after my accident. ‘I also wanted to talk to you both about…’ I tried to steady my voice. ‘The accident.’ They looked surprised again. ‘I know it’s something that we don’t talk about, and I know that’s been my fault. I made you think I didn’t want to talk about it, but the truth was I was scared to bring it up because of how guilty I felt over it.’ I explained, falteringly at first, but soon my courage rose and I told them everything – how I’d believed it had been my fault, the guilt I had carried, and how I felt like I didn’t deserve my second chance at life. ‘I think that’s why I’ve kept my distance from you all. I thought you blamed me as well and it was better if I stayed away.’
‘Oh Anna, how could you have ever thought that? We missed you so much!’ my mum cried. She came to sit beside me and took my hand. ‘Of course it wasn’t your fault.’
‘I blamed myself,’ my dad said then, his voice breaking with emotion. ‘I couldn’t bear seeing you in so much pain. I wanted to protect you, shield you from it all. I didn’t realise you didn’t know the truth. I’ve let you down.’
I shook my head. ‘No. I don’t want us to argue about blame or guilt anymore. We need a fresh start. I need to move on from what happened and I want us to rebuild our relationship, to be close like we were before. I mean, if you do too.’
‘Of course we do,’ Mum said, pulling me in for another hug. A minute later, my dad was there too. I looked up to see Brodie grinning at us, and I knew this was the first step for us and that we would get there. We would be the family we were once again.
A bit later, I followed my mum into the kitchen to catch her alone. ‘Mum, do you remember after my accident that I had some therapy? Do you still have Dr William’s contact details? I just thought that maybe I should pick it back up again for a bit…’ It was hard to get the words out but I knew I needed to. I didn’t want to walk into this house and be haunted by the past again nor did I want to keep running, I wanted to settle and find a life that I loved, and I thought maybe I needed a little help to get there.
‘I definitely do,’ Mum said. She reached out and touched my shoulder. ‘I am so proud of you, Anna. I hope you know you can always talk to me too. I know things were so hard for you after what happened… after the accident,’ she amended, as if remembering we were no longer ignoring it. ‘Maybe I didn’t help you in the right way, I don’t know, but I want to help you. I always have, I just didn’t know how to reach you, I suppose.’
I shook my head. ‘I didn’t want you to reach me. I needed to go off and try to find my own way. But I took it too far, I went too far. I would really like to find my way back now.’
She smiled. ‘I think you already have.’ She reached out and hugged me again. I leaned against my mother and smiled as she held me tightly. It was weird. I hadn’t had a good hug with her for so long but sometimes you still just needed a hug from your mum, didn’t you? ‘Everything is going to be all right,’ she promised me and, for once, I really did believe that it would be.
Chapter Fifty-Three
I was cleaning Izzy’s reading room when my phone rang. Izzy was back at school and wasn’t there to hover, making sure I didn’t move anything around, so I could get on with the dusting and hoovering undisturbed. The whole Hall was quiet at this time of day as everyone was busy doing something so I could get on with my chores before I went into the kitchen to start dinner and they all returned home hungry and chatting about what they had all been doing. We had settled into a routine already and I was enjoying it.
I turned off the hoover to grab my phone, smiling when I saw who it was. ‘Hey, Chloe,’ I said as I put her on speaker so I could carry on with the dusting. ‘How are things?’ The pop-up restaurant had closed. They had FaceTimed me on the last night so I could raise a glass with them to the successful summer stint. Chloe and Ashley and even Pierre had all wished me well when I said I was staying in Glendale – everything was running fine without me and they knew I didn’t want to leave Cameron again. Chloe had sent on everything I left in the flat and the guys were almost ready to sign their investment deal and find a location for their proper restaurant. I was already eager to go and eat there when it opened.
‘Very good, very good,’ she said, the smile clear in her voice. ‘I’m at the airport ready to get on a plane.’
‘Oh, where are you off to?’
‘Las Vegas!’ she half-screamed down the phone and I heard Ashley shout the words too. ‘We’re eloping.’
I almost dropped my duster. ‘What?’ I cried. ‘I need to see this!’
Chloe rung me back on FaceTime and she and Ashley stood arm-in-arm at the airport, waving at me, grinning like a pair of teenagers.
‘You’re seriously eloping?’ I checked again. I honestly thought Chloe was planning a spectacular wedding somewhere.
‘I know no one believes me but I never wanted the big wedding. I just want me and Ash together celebrating us, you know? But don’t worry, we’re going to throw a huge party at Christmas for all our family and friends. We’ve been phoning everyone and they’re all very shocked but I knew you’d understand!’ Chloe explained, her face just glowing. Ashley looked equally full of joy.
I smiled. ‘I’m so happy for you guys. You should definitely do what works for you two, doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks,’ I told them firmly. ‘I can’t wait for the party though! Congratulations guys. Honestly, you both deserve a lifetime of happiness.’ They would always be one of my favourite couples.
‘We love you, Anna!’ Chloe called as Ashley told her they were being called to their gate.
‘Send me a photo from the chapel!’ I called, waving as they hung up. I laughed aloud to myself. I loved that Chloe had done something so unexpected. She and Ashley were so different but they just worked. I thought about Cameron then. Things were going really well between us. It was as if once we were honest with one another about our feelings, we were able to enjoy being together. We made each other happy and that was everything.
I finished up cleaning and headed into the kitchen. Everyone was coming around to the Hall tonight – it was Friday night and I had told them I’d make pizzas. It was twelve weeks since I first arrived in Glendale and so much had changed in my life it was crazy. I wanted to say thank you to everyone who had made me feel so at home here this summer.
I turned on the radio and tied my hair up, pulling on an apron, and making the dough. Izzy’s cat came in and rubbed my ankles hopefully. I filled up her food bowl and carried on cooking.
People started to arrive home and join me in the kitchen then. Izzy and Beth arrived from school in high spirits. Beth had had a call from a couple who wanted to get married at the Hall this Christmas at the end of the Christmas trail and Izzy had got an A on a short story she had written in English. They told me their news excitedly as they got themselves drinks and I started to make the tomato sauce for the pizza. Caroline returned from the Hall shop and John came in from the garden – she sent him straight to wash before letting him sit with them. Then Sally walked in from her cottage, and Drew got back from work looking exhausted but cheerful as usual. Brodie, Emily and Iona arrived next from the village and then I turned with a smile to see the door opening with Heather, Rory, Don, Angus and – finally – Cameron walking in from the farms.
‘Gang’s all here,’ Beth said, handing me a glass of wine. She nudged me. ‘I’d be happy to put on more than one wedding this Christmas, just saying!’
I threw a tea towel at her. ‘Wedding’s aren’t my thing but you can plan my next birthday if that helps.’
She sighed. ‘Fine. But I won’t stop dreaming.’ She grinned at Cameron, who came over to kiss me. ‘You’re just too cute. I can’t cope.’
‘I’d rather not be thought of as cute,’ Cameron said to me when we were alone. ‘I would prefer ruggedly handsome.’
I looked up at him and laughed. ‘I bet you would. I’ll make sure Beth knows for the future. Now help me carry over these bowls, if it’s not too much hard work for someone so handsome?’
He grinned and gave me another kiss. ‘You know me, always at your beck and call.’ He went through into the kitchen and I watched him, still amazed that the two of us were where we were. Somehow the universe had pulled us together and I would be forever grateful. Maybe all along we were meant to find each other in this quiet corner of the Scottish countryside. Either that or we just got lucky. I shrugged and followed him with the bowl of salad.
I had made five pizzas with different toppings, salad and garlic bread and everyone tucked in with gusto, as usual. Italian was my favourite to make and eat, I was realising, and in the back of my mind I dreamt about the Italian restaurant I might open in the future. But I would just take it all one step at a time. Like I had told Cameron.
Sometimes life was more fun when you just let it take you where you were meant to go. I had run for so long but Glendale had made me want to stay and I was going to enjoy it for as long as it felt right to be here. And, as Cameron said, if that turned out to be forever then I was happy to go with it. I knew, though, that wherever I did go next, he would be right by my side. We were like Chloe and Ashley – unconventional but perfect for one another.
‘Okay, everyone,’ I said, calling for order. As usual, it took a minute to get everyone to be quiet. ‘I wanted to say a massive thank you to you all for welcoming me as part of the family and for letting me stay on past the summer, and not even reminding me about how often I told you all I would be long gone by now.’ I smiled as they all laughed. ‘I haven’t had a place that I wanted to call home for a long time, seriously, but you guys made it feel like my home straight away and I know that even if I move on in the future, there will always be a place for me to come back to and that is something I never thought I would have. So, here’s to Glendale – our forever home!’
Everyone echoed my toast as we raised our glasses and Cameron met my eyes and smiled as we clinked and I knew that he felt exactly the same way as I did.
Epilogue
Autumn was in the air as I walked through Inverness city centre in the final week of September.
There was a cool breeze blowing some of the leaves from the trees gently down in front of me. Some of them were just beginning to turn from green to gold above me and I passed by a group of kids in school uniforms walking home from school, the summer already behind them. I still couldn’t believe that I was going to be a student again. I was nervous but excited as I reached the colleg
e induction talk. I hadn’t studied since I was eighteen and, let’s face it, I didn’t stick that out for long. This time felt different. I had a spring in my step. I was going to improve at something I was passionate about, so I was eager to get started.
I walked in, following the signs for the induction session in the main hall. Everyone doing a cookery class this term was invited to this talk. I felt a little thrill of excitement as I went in to take my seat with the other students. At the front were all the tutors at the school and, as I sat down, I did a double-take because up there was a familiar face that I hadn’t expected to see here at all.
‘Every term we invite an actual chef to come and talk to us at this session to give us all some inspiration before we start,’ the head of the school, the son of Brodie’s friend, said after he had welcomed us to the school. So that’s why he was here.
I shook my head as Pierre was introduced to everyone.
* * *
After the talk, I lingered outside the school and waited. Soon, Pierre came out, lighting a cigarette and coming over when he spotted me. ‘Small world,’ I said with a smile.
‘Anna.’ He kissed me on each cheek. ‘Actually, I knew this was where you were going. Chloe told me. So, when they asked me, I thought I had to come and wish you well for your study,’ he said as we fell into step together, walking away from the building.
‘Well, it was nice to see a friendly face. I spoke to Chloe last week. She said you’ve found a location for your restaurant? It’s all on track?’
Always and Forever at Glendale Hall Page 29
