I shake out my thoughts. I can’t be thinking about this now. I need to sleep on this. Get my emotions under control before making any decisions.
I sit back down beside Brooke which is when I notice Jackson. His eyes are narrowed as he watches me. I haven’t spoken to him since the party on Friday night and I have no plans to change that. He knows he fucked that up, but right now, the way he’s looking at me is as though he’s trying to work something out, like maybe he already knows what’s going on.
I make a point of looking away and scoop my phone off the bench. My fingers hover over the screen desperate to text either Nate or Jesse to make sure he’s alright, but I don’t. I’ll talk with them soon, even though that’s bound to end with a fight.
The end of lunch bell rings, and to be honest, I’ve never been happier. I feel if I stay in this cafeteria much longer, I’m going to lose my shit. Brooke scoops her arm around mine as we get up from the table and start heading for the door I only just came through. “Everything ok?” she murmurs as the entire student body tries to squish through the same doors. “You look… pissed off.”
“I, um…” I consider telling her about Ashley when I think better of it. I don’t want her to know, not yet. She’ll go and kick Ashley’s ass right now, and honestly, a good ass kicking is not going to be nearly enough punishment, and besides, if anyone is going to kick her ass, it’s going to be me. “I just had an argument with Nate.”
“What?” she grunts in outrage. “What’s his problem now? Doesn’t he know you’re not his anymore? He can’t pull this crap on you anymore.”
Shit. I might not be confessing my big secret, but I’m about to confess to another. “I sort of… went to a Haven Falls party with Jackson on Friday night.”
Her eyes widen.
Her bottom lip drops.
A heavy breath is sucked in.
“What?” she demands. And just like that, the rest of my day is spent receiving the lecture I thought I’d be getting from Jess.
Chapter 22
I get home that afternoon and I have to commend myself for making it through the rest of the school day. I couldn’t concentrate at all and I have no doubts that Jess and Nate weren’t at school. I was desperate to go over to their place all afternoon to vent about it, but I can’t. Not yet. Nate needs time to cool down and listening to me talking about the fire is definitely not a good way to do that.
I grab my bag off the passenger side and get out of the car. I look up at my home and briefly wonder if mom has shown. She’s been a bit lost lately. Ever since dad left again she’s been wanting to get out of the house.
I let out a sigh as I pull my bag up over my shoulder and make my way up the steps. I push open the door and step through. “Mom?” I call out through the big house. “You home?”
Mom appears in the hallway before me with her hand propped on her hips. “Where have you been?” she demands. “I’ve been waiting for you all afternoon.”
“Um… school only just ended,” I say, looking at her with confusion. “I literally came straight home.”
“I know,” she says, fighting a smile. “I was hoping you’d be one of those rebels and skip school to come home early.”
I raise an eyebrow at her as I try to work out what the hell is going on. “Mom, when have I ever skipped class?” I say, hoping she doesn’t pick up on the fact that I do it all the time.
She practically bounces on her feet. “I wanted you home.”
“Why?” I say. “You could have texted me or called the school and had me sent home.”
“No,” she groans, throwing her arms around me and rocking me from side to side like she used to do when I was a kid. “Your grades are in the toilet. I need you to soak up every ounce of knowledge those teachers are willing to share. I had no choice but to wait.”
I pull back out of my mom's arms and study her closer. She’s acting way too shady and I want to know why. “What’s going on, mom?”
She takes my hand and drags me into the kitchen behind her. “Come on,” she says. “I’ve got something to show you.”
My brows pull down for the hundredth time this afternoon. “Tell me,” I say.
She shakes her head as she continues dragging me behind her. “Jesus,” she laughs. “Have a little patience.”
“If you wanted me to have patience then you should have wired it into my DNA seventeen years ago. This is on you, not me.”
We get into the pristine kitchen and sitting on the table is an envelope. My heart starts to race as I look down at it. Could this be…? Shit, I don’t want to get my hopes up. “It’s a big envelope,” mom says, still holding my hand.
“Is it from…?”
“Yeah.”
“Crap. Ok,” I practically chant, looking down at the untouched envelope. This is dad’s work papers all over again. “You do it.”
“No,” mom says, shaking her head. “You have to do it.”
“I can’t. What if it’s… you know.”
“Not possible,” she tells me. “They don’t send big envelopes for rejection letters.”
“Maybe they ran out of small ones,” I argue.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” she laughs. “Now, do I need to go and spill a glass of water to get you to open it or are you going to man up and tear that baby apart?”
“Fine,” I groan, reaching forward and taking the envelope off the table. “But if this is bad, you owe me a lifetime of Ben & Jerry’s.”
“It’s not going to be bad.”
I take a deep breath and slide my finger under the tab before tearing it across the envelope. I go to take the papers out as my heart threatens to beat right out of my chest. Holy crap. This is it. The moment I’ve been waiting my whole life for.
I slide the papers from the envelope and begin scanning over the words as mom shoves her head over my shoulder, reading it too. “Holy shit,” I shriek, grabbing the paper with both hands and shaking it. “I got in. I actually got in.”
Mom throws her arms around and me squishes the life out of me. “I knew you would, baby. I knew you would.”
I hold her back with everything I’ve got as tears of joy spring to my eyes. This is one of the best days of my life and all I want to do is tell Nate about it. I don’t care that we’re not together. I don’t care that he’s spent the last two weeks pissed at me for the stupid shit I can’t seem to stop doing.
All I care about is telling the man I love that I just got accepted to college. I pull back out of mom’s arms and give her a beaming smile. “I have to go,” I tell her.
“What?” she sulks. “Where?”
I look at her as though the answer should be obvious. “Ahhhh, to tell everyone about this,” I say, holding my acceptance letter up. “Can we go out for dinner? Maybe go somewhere special?”
A smile filled with nothing but absolute joy takes over my mother’s face. “Nothing would make me happier. Did you want to invite your friends? Nate and Jesse? We can make a big deal about it.”
I shake my head. “Nah, I can celebrate with them later, let’s go just you and me.”
Tears spring to her eyes as she pulls me in again. “Ok, sweetie. I love you.”
“Love you too,” I laugh as I squeeze out of her iron-clad grip. “I’ll be back in a little bit. Maybe we can get dressed up too.”
“Give me a little more credit than that,” she chuckles. “I’ve had my outfit picked out for years.”
I roll my eyes as I turn back down the hallway. I hurry towards the door as mom calls behind me. “Drive safely.”
“I will,” I yell back as I break out the front of the house. I hurry down the stairs and dive into my car. Within the space of seven minutes, I’m coming to a stop out the front of Nate’s house.
The Range Rover isn’t here and the garage is closed so I’m assuming he hasn’t made it home from school yet, though, I have absolutely no idea what he’d be doing. He practically lives in the garage working on his Mustang.
I
shrug my shoulders and walk inside anyway. This place still feels like home to me even though I was only here for two months. They were the best two months of my life.
I walk inside and hear someone in the kitchen. I head that way to find Trish making a mess of a packet mix cake. “What are you doing?” I laugh as I take in the scene before me.
Her eyes snap up and widen with excitement before she hurries around the counter and throws her arms around me. “Congratulations,” she cheers.
“What?” I laugh. “I literally only just found out. How did my mom even have a second to call you already?”
“Oh, you know your mom,” she smiles. “We figured you were coming here.”
“Yeah, you haven’t told him, have you?”
“No, of course not,” she says. “That’s your news to tell.”
“Do you know when he’ll be back?”
Her lips pull into a tight line. “I’m not sure, honey. You know how it is with these boys. I would assume soon though, he can’t seem to stay away from his silly car for long.”
“Ok,” I smile. “Do you mind if I wait in his room?”
“Sure thing,” she smiles. “I’ll bring you up a piece of this cake if I can ever get the stupid thing cooked.”
“That sounds great,” I laugh.
She squeezes my shoulder and sends me on my way. I head up the stairs and a moment later, I’m pushing my way through his door. Memories hit me like a freight train. Nate and I have spent so many hours in this very room. Really, really, special hours. Hours upon hours of nothing but pure pleasure. What I would give to have that back again.
I crawl up into his unmade bed, loving how it smells just like him and sit cross-legged in the very middle. I read and reread my acceptance letter, memorizing every tiny detail of it. This must be the best letter I’ve ever received. I might frame it and hang it on my wall right next to the space I’ll save for my college degree and then, of course, my glowing diploma from Harvard Law.
Roughly fifteen minutes pass when I hear the front door open and close before his angelic voice calling out. “Is Tora here? Is she ok?”
“She’s in your room,” Trish replies.
A second later, I hear him on the stairs and my heart starts to race, the same way it always does when I know I’m about to see the man I love. The door flies open and just like that, he’s standing right before me. His eyes scan my body up and down, frantic that something is wrong. “What are you doing here? Are you ok?”
“I’m fine,” I tell him.
I watch as the worry seeps out of his eyes and is replaced with relief. “Why are you here?”
He walks around his bed and sits on the edge just out of my reach as he spies the letter in my hands. “I got something today, and I know things are messed up between us at the moment and you’ve spent the last few weeks majorly pissed off with me, but you were the only person I wanted to tell.”
His eyes soften and I melt. He’s like a drug to me and I’m addicted in the worst possible way. “What is it?”
I hand him the paper and watch as he scans over the words. His eyes widen as a massive grin takes over his handsome face. “You got in?” he says, giving me a look of absolute pride.
I nod as I try to contain my massive smile. “Yeah.”
“Fuck, babe,” he cheers, putting the letter down and grabbing me. He pulls me into his lap and crushes his lips to mine, giving me the celebration that I was really after. “You’re so fucking incredible,” he tells me as he pulls back and looks into my eyes.
I shuffle around on his lap and straddle him so I can look at him better. His hands fall to my hips before kissing me once again. “Is this why mom is burning a cake?”
“Probably,” I laugh.
He goes quiet for a moment as he continues watching me. His eyes become serious and I know that whatever he wants to tell me isn’t easy. “I miss you,” he murmurs, leaning his forehead against mine.
I reach around and take his hands from my hips before lacing my fingers through his. “I miss you, too.”
He searches my eyes for a moment. “Why’d you do it?”
“Do what?”
“Race?”
I drop my eyes to his chest. I was wondering when he was going to grill me on all of this. I guess there’s no better time than the present. If only I wasn’t so ashamed of myself. “Come on,” I tell him. “You know why I did it.”
“You wanted an excuse to see me.”
I let out a sigh. “You hurt me, Nate. I wanted your attention and I didn’t care how I got it. I knew you weren’t going to just cave and give me what I needed so I did something that I knew would work, and it did.”
He shakes his head ever so slightly. “It sure fucking did,” he grunts. “Do you know how bad that could have ended?”
“I know,” I tell him. “But it didn’t. I was actually pretty damn good.”
He scoffs. “It was pretty fucking hot too.” A laugh comes bubbling up and I can’t possibly stop it. “It’s not funny,” he demands. “You could have been hurt.”
The laughter is coming strong now. “I’m sorry.”
He grabs my waist and throws me down on the bed, unable to stop his own smile. “What am I going to do with you?”
I look up into the eyes I love as things grow serious. “Take me back,” I tell him.
He shakes his head. “You know I can’t do that.”
“But I got into college,” I tell him, confused. “I thought that’s what you wanted.”
“It is,” he tells me, “But it’s more than that. I’m not good for you and I’m going to end up pulling you down when you should be shining.”
“I’ve gotten into more trouble without you over the past two weeks than what I did with you, and on top of that, I haven’t punched anyone and my grades are back up.”
“Babe, that just proves you’re better without me,” he says. “I thought we discussed this.”
“And you thought I was just going to give up?” I smirk.
He grins down at me and presses his lips to mine. “I hoped not,” he admits before pulling back and really looking at me. “Speaking of trouble,” he says. “Care to explain why you let Jackson take you to a Haven Falls party on Friday night?”
“Seriously?” I laugh. “If you really need me to explain that, you’re not as smart as I gave you credit for.”
“Oh, I know exactly why you did it, I just want to see if you’ll actually admit it.”
“Fine,” I groan. “You pissed me off so I wanted to do the same, and Jackson… well, what a perfect way to get under your skin.”
He shakes his head as he looks at me in wonder. “You’re going to be the death of me.”
“I know, but you can fix that by fixing us.”
“Tora,” he groans before letting out a deep sigh. “You know, I’ve been fucking miserable without you these last few weeks.”
“You don’t think I have been too?”
“I know you have. I see it in your eyes every time I look at you and I hate that I’m to blame for that.”
“You’re not,” I tell him. “I’m the one who got involved in fights, I’m the one who let my grades slip, and I’m the one who stormed off to the boat shed. This is all on me.”
“Don’t say that,” he whispers.
I can’t help but smile up at him. Things aren’t great between us and I know we have some issues to figure out but right now, at this moment, it’s never been better. I’m going to college, I have the man I love in my arms… well, for now, I finally have answers on the whole fire bullshit, and not to mention my mom looked so damn happy today that I could die right now and not have a single regret.
“I love you, Nate.”
His hand runs down the side of my face as he looks deeply into my eyes. “I promise you, Tora. When I told you I love you, I fucking meant it. You’re my world, and I swear to you, I’m going to do everything I possibly can to make sure that I’m good enough for you. Being without
you, it kills me.”
“I know,” I tell him, saying exactly what he said to me. “I see it in your eyes.”
He drops his face back down to mine. “I want to be with you, Tora, and one day, you’re going to be pushing out my babies, but I refuse to bring you down.”
I look into his eyes and let him know that what I’m about to say comes only from a place of pure honesty. “I’ll wait, Nate. No matter how long it takes. I’m yours.”
His eyes search mine and I see nothing but relief shining back at me. “In the meantime, will you stop going to Haven Falls parties and illegal races?”
“Will you let me in on the Ashley thing?” He shakes his head and I grin up at him. “Well, in that case, I better call Jackson. I haven’t tried pot or been involved in an orgy yet.”
His eyes narrow. “I’m going to have to chain you to my bed.”
My legs drop open and I wind them around his waist, pulling him down into me. “Is that a promise?”
His lips come down on mine as his hand slides up under my shirt. “You fucking bet it is.”
He kisses me deeply and before I’ve even realized what’s happening, he’s pushing into me and satisfying that craving I’ve had since the moment he walked out my door and making me realize, that even though we’re technically not together right now, Nate Ryder is going to be the man in my life for years to come.
He’s my heart and my soul combined and I’ll never have it any other way. I love him with every little piece of me and I can’t wait to see what our future holds.
Watch out world, we’re coming to get you.
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Author Biography
Sheridan Anne is a wife to a smart-ass husband, Mumma to two beautiful girls, twin sister, daughter, and friend who lives in beautiful Australia. Sheridan writes both romance and young adult fantasy books on a variety of topics and can be found on most days with her family or writing during nap time. To find out more or to simply say ‘hello’, connect with her on Facebook or Twitter
Broken Hill Hurt: The Broken Hill High Series (Book 3) Page 20
