I sucked in a breath, knowing I had to drop the bomb. “Freckles, come here.”
The tone of my voice had her spinning around. All color drained from her face, and I could tell she was bracing for bad news. She stumbled toward me, eyes full of worry.
“I don’t know how to say this.” I linked my fingers with hers when she reached me. My priority was to always protect her, to support her, to care for her. I would hold her through this, and I had no plans on letting her go through whatever fucked-up thoughts took root in her head once she found out on her own. I knew the best thing to do was to just tell her, but what I was about to tell her would be the last thing she ever suspected, and I knew it would gut her. Fuck it!
“Finn’s father is Thomas Bell.”
She flinched as if she’d been slapped across the face and stumbled back. I tightened my hands around hers and kept holding on. “What?” She whispered, shaking her head back and forth in utter disbelief. “How? His name is Finn Brown.”
She collapsed onto the edge of her bed, still holding my hands, and her eyes never left mine. Tears flooded her eyes, and she blinked up at me with raw sadness working its way over her face.
I pulled her to her feet and wrapped her in my arms, pulling her hard against my chest, and holding onto her for dear life. She held on as she sobbed softly and collapsed onto me. The name alone would cause her to disappear back to the worst time of her life when Thomas Bell was the name she heard on repeat for months. But then I went and dropped the bombshell that her new employee and friend was his blood and bone.
“How do you know?” Her breath hitched as she spoke.
“There’s an article online.”
“What?” She gasped, shaking her head. “How is this even happening? Why now?”
“Let’s get dressed and go into town and find out from him.”
With a nod, she stepped away from me and disappeared into the bathroom. Only after I heard the shower start did I head downstairs to text Ben.
Austin: Meet you in ten.
To say Finn was shocked when Ben, Marnie, and I walked in would be an understatement. But his smile dropped when he took one look at Marnie. She hadn’t said a word on the drive over, and I hadn’t let go of her hand.
Ben was worried, I was worried, and Finn looked worried as hell.
“What’s going on?” he asked, stepping out from behind the workbench and moving toward us.
“What’s your name?” I asked, deciding to get right to the point.
Finn’s attention swept to Marnie before coming back to me. “Finn Brown.”
“Let me ask you again and this time have a good think before you answer. What’s your name?”
He locked eyes with me and didn’t budge when he replied. “My name is Finn Brown, but I was born Finn Bell.”
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Marnie gasped and squeezed my hand tightly before tugging her hand slightly, but I kept holding on. Ben prowled toward the door, turned over the closed sign, and flicked the lock. This conversation didn’t need interruptions because we weren’t leaving until we got answers, all the answers.
“Don’t you think that’s something you should have mentioned months ago?” I growled. “Do you know who Marnie is?”
“I only found out this morning,” he cried, his eyes swarming with fear and hesitation. “I promise I had no idea.”
I scoffed. “How is that even fucking possible? Lavender isn’t a common name, Monroe is where it happened, and now you’re working with her. How didn’t you know?”
“I was twelve when it happened. My grandmother took me across the country and as far away from Monroe as she could within days of it happening. She shielded me from everything, and we never spoke of it, and we still don’t. I grew up in Connecticut. I worked my ass off and distanced myself from what my parents did and shut it out of my head.” He closed his eyes, shaking his head in the process as if he was thrust back to that moment. When he reopened his eyes, they were locked on Marnie. “I promise you, I had no clue until my gran told me this morning because of an article she read. I was shocked, disgusted, and freaked out because I knew I had to tell you, and I feared how you’d react. I never lied to you, I promise. I had no idea because I have erased that whole period of time from my memories. My father killed an innocent man. My mother was a hooker. And all things considered, I lived life as an orphan. It’s not something I want to remember, and I sure as hell didn’t research the family of the man my father killed. I was twelve fucking years old. I wanted to be normal, but instead, I was the son of a killer.”
“Why now? Why are you back in Monroe after all these years?” Ben asked, joining the conversation for the first time.
“My gran’s sister is sick. So, I came back with Grandma to help take care of her.”
“You’re nineteen, an adult, why are you following your gran around the country?”
Finn pushed his shoulders back and locked with me, almost daring me to mention his grandmother again. “I wasn’t the only one who lost an entire family. Gran lost her son and daughter-in-law. It wasn’t just my life affected by this. My gran is my family, she’s the only one who doesn’t judge me for my family’s brutal mistakes. I go where she goes, and I will until the day I lose her. It’s as simple as that.”
The tension in the shop was thick and hung heavy in the air. We all stood staring, judging, and silently questioning one another as we let Finn’s admissions sink in.
I narrowed my eyes in his direction and lowered my voice. “Explain the name change.”
“I’m fucking Thomas Bell’s son!” He shouted, frustration rolling off him in waves. “Would you want to share a name with a killer? Grandma and I are now known by her maiden name. I haven’t been Finn Bell since my father decided I no longer needed parents, and I do not and will not regret or be made to feel like a fraud because I changed my surname to erase him from my life. I don’t give a shit what your mother says.”
Marnie hadn’t said a word through the entire exchange, but she hadn’t stopped staring at Finn. She wore a mask of contemplation, but her eyes didn’t show what she was truly feeling, and that scared the absolute fuck out of me. I needed something, anything. I needed to know where she wanted to go from here. She’d let Finn into her world. I’d heard her speak about him enough to know she cared about him as a friend and adored him as an employee, but now she had to deal with this bombshell sweeping through the world she’d worked her ass off to create for herself.
A standoff ensued. Ben watched at Finn, Finn focused on the floor, Marnie looked at Finn, and I stared at Marnie.
I squeezed her hand, and only then did she look away from Finn.
“You gotta tell me what you want to do,” I whispered, rubbing my thumb over the back of her hand.
Before Marnie could speak, Finn answered and decided what needed to happen.
“I’ll make this easy for all of you. I’ll grab my things and leave.”
He didn’t hesitate. He disappeared into the office, then reappeared holding with his keys and wallet, and jammed his phone in his back pocket. Marnie’s eyes were back on him, and finally, they showed what she was feeling; pure, raw sadness.
Finn stopped right in front of her. He didn’t give a shit about Ben and me; he was all about Marnie.
“I don’t even know what to say. I want to apologize for what my father took from you, but I know you’d have no part of me apologizing for him. But I am sorry. I’m sorry if this brings up painful memories for you, I’m sorry if I broke your trust, and I’m sorry for, look, I’m just sorry everything. Thanks for giving me a chance, Marnie. You are going to absolutely rock this place, and it sucks that I won’t be around to witness that and to keep introducing you to new coffee combos. You’re fucking awesome. Don’t ever doubt that, and don’t let his bitch of a mother get to you.”
I didn’t even flinch when he called my mother a bitch.
Marnie’s eyes shimmered with tears, yet she still couldn’t find her w
ords. With a single nod, Finn left Luscious Lavender, leaving me, Ben, and Marnie in an utter state of confusion and shock.
What the fuck just happened?
“I need you to take me home,” Marnie whispered, finally speaking for the first time since we arrived.
“I’ll lock up.”
I nodded thanks to Ben and let go of her hand for the first time, only to wrap my arm around her shoulders and pull her in close to my side. I couldn’t ignore the looks people were throwing us as we walked down Main Street toward my car. There were looks of pity, confusion, and sadness, and thankfully, Marnie kept her eyes down and missed them all. As we walked, a few people went to stop, but when I shook my head, they continued on their way. I just needed to get Marnie home and try to figure out how I could help her wrap her head around the shitstorm that just blew into town.
“I hate your mother for doing this.” She sniffed once we got to my truck and buckled in. “She’s ruining lives, and for what? Just to become mayor and feel good about herself?”
I had no reply. To be honest, I couldn’t believe she’d sink this low, but she had.
It embarrassed me to be her son and to have my name linked with hers.
By the time I’d switched off my truck after parking out front of her house, Cora, Trent, and Lola had turned up. With a sad look and a silent thank you, Lola helped Marnie out of my truck and walked her into her house, and now Marnie was huddled on the couch between her mom and sister while Trent and I hung back in the kitchen. I didn’t allow her out of my sight, though, and I wouldn’t.
I would never forgive my mother for bringing this into Marnie’s life.
From this point on, she was my mother only by name.
As far as I was concerned, we were done.
I was completely and would forever be done with Cybil Hart.
There was no coming back from this.
Thirty
Marnie
Later that afternoon, Austin had found me sitting on the shower floor, shaking and sobbing uncontrollably. Without hesitating, he stepped under the stream of hot water, fully clothed, and wrapped his arms around me and carried me to my bedroom. I stood naked in front of him, shivering, sobbing, and silently begging him to tell me what I was meant to do. Tugging the comforter from my bed, he wrapped it around us, cocooning us in warmth, and held me tighter than he ever had before. I burrowed into his chest, closed my eyes, and silently prayed that my head would begin to unscramble, and I’d be able to attempt to figure out how to move on from the bombshell dropped on me this morning.
“Talk to me, Freckles,” he whispered into my hair, his arms tightening around me.
I lifted my head to rest my chin on his chest and gave him my eyes. “I miss him.”
Dad.
There hadn’t been a day since we lost him that I hadn’t missed him. But when details of the day he died and the way we lost him were brought up, it destroyed me, and the pain started all over again. Today had been one of those days.
I missed his laugh, his hugs, his encouragement, and most of all, his love.
I just missed him.
“He loved you so much. All he was worried about was that his girls would be loved and taken care of. He didn’t care about anything else—just you, your mom, and Cora—and he made me promise that I would always take care of you, and fight for you, and love you. Your dad was the one who showed me what it was like to love and be loved.”
My heart slammed in my chest. Painfully, beautifully, and fully.
“Knowing you were with him when we lost him brings me peace.”
Austin’s eyes shimmered with wetness, and his throat bobbed as he swallowed his own emotion.
Today had been shit. But Austin made it better.
I still couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that Finn was Thomas Bell’s son. I was confused about how I should feel and how I should react. I knew Finn, well, I thought I did, he’d been nothing but kind, funny, sweet, and caring, so how was I supposed to feel now?
I believed what he said, though. About shutting it out and not wanting to know. Because I would have done the same thing. And I’d never researched Thomas Bell’s family, so why should I expect Finn to have researched ours? I didn’t want to know his family. At all. And it wasn’t because I had any ill feelings toward them, it was because I thought I’d never have anything to do with them.
But the universe seemed to work in mysterious ways.
“You’re going to be okay, and if for some reason you aren’t, and it’s totally okay if you’re not, I’ll always be here to pick you up and help you however you need.” He tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear and stared deep into my eyes. “Go finish your shower, throw on some comfy clothes, and come find me, because we’ve got a hot date with carbs, the couch, and whatever movie you want to watch. Even one of those rom-coms you swoon over.”
For the first time all day, I felt my lips lift, and I smiled up at him. It might have been barely there, but he’d made it appear.
He stepped away and wrapped the comforter around me, then quickly changed into his own dry clothes he’d pulled out from the bag he’d brought over to my place the night before. I stared at him, taking him in, forever thankful that I got my second chance with him.
Before he disappeared out of his bedroom, he hesitated at the door as if he was waiting to make sure I wasn’t going to crumble again.
“I love you,” I whispered, giving him my truth, honesty, and heart completely in three words.
His eyes turned soft. “And I love you. Always.”
He disappeared into the hall, and even though my heart still felt heavy, my mind finally started to clear.
After taking a long shower and scrubbing the day off of my body, I dressed in a pair of tights and one of Austin’s Monroe PD hoodies I’d stolen from his house and went in search of my man. As soon as I hit the living room, the aroma of tomato and garlic smacked into me.
“You are not cooking spaghetti ala Austin!” I shrieked, clapping excitedly as my stomach roared with hunger brought on by memories of how freaking delicious his spaghetti was.
“Oh, but I am.” He winked, continuing to stir a pot filled with tomato sauce that was guaranteed to make me moan after every bite. Spaghetti ala Austin was the first meal he ever made me, and from that moment on, it had become my favorite. Not only was Austin fantastic in bed and an absolute pleasure to look at, but he could also cook. Like really cook!
With a bounce in my step, I rushed to the kitchen, and when I got to him, I wrapped my arms around his waist and pushed my chest up against his back. He lifted the wooden spoon out of the bubbling sauce and lifted it to my lips. His eyes remained glued to me as I blew on the spoon, then opened my mouth. And yep, I moaned as soon as it hit my tongue.
My moans were swallowed when his mouth crashed onto mine before he spun around to face me. We made out like horny teenagers in the middle of his kitchen. My hands ran up the back of his shirt, his fingers tugged on my hair, his tongue caressed mine, and my teeth nibbled on his bottom lip. It was wild, bruising, and beautiful.
The ding of the oven timer broke us apart, and I sucked in desperate breaths while he pulled out the garlic bread that, of course, he’d smothered in cheese.
“Cheesy garlic bread? It seems as though you’re trying to get in my pants.”
“The question should be when am I not trying to get in your pants?”
“Good point. And just so you know, there’s no need to try, you’ve got a lifelong pass to get into these pants.”
I left him in the kitchen and decided to choose the movie and get comfy on the couch. The heaviness that had earlier been sitting on my heart was easing by the second, and it was all because of the man cooking me spaghetti. I felt like I could face anything with him by my side, and together we’d face whatever came our way; the good, the bad, the ugly. And right now, the ugly was his mother, and I refused to allow her ugly to taint the beauty I had surrounding me. I’d worked my ass off to g
et to this point in my life. I was back in Monroe with my family around me, I had the love of my life back by my side, and I was living my dream with Luscious Lavender. Cybil fucking Hart would not destroy that. She could throw whatever she wanted at me. She could play games. She could try to sell lies. But the truth always came out. She was the epitome of narcissistic, and that would never change.
But nothing she threw my way would break me, because I was Marnie Lavender and I was unbreakable.
Ten minutes later, a booming knock scattered through my house, causing me to shriek and jump in the process. Austin walked out of the kitchen, wiping his hand, and headed for the door while I turned back to searching for the perfect movie to watch.
“Oh, fuck.”
I turned around and looked over the back of the couch toward the front door, interested in what got that kind of reaction from Austin. My eyes grew wide as Gigi and Crazy John walked in, followed by Missy, and then Ben and Sasha.
“Hey, Marnie.” Missy greeted, then waved around a bottle of whiskey. “This is from Drew. He’s working so he couldn’t make it.”
In Gigi’s hands were two cake carriers, and she showed them off proudly. “And I brought cake, lots of cake. I made both of your favorites. It still blows my mind, though, that chocolate is not on your favorite list. What kind of craziness is that?”
“I’m just here because I was told to be here,” Ben grumbled, shrugging his shoulder before scanning everyone but Austin and me. “Seriously, Austin and Marnie do not need us turning up uninvited, especially not today.”
“Don’t mind him.” Sasha let go of Ben’s hand and came toward me. “You okay? I wanted to call earlier, but Ben told me to give you space. So it’s not my fault that it took me hours to reach out. Blame my fiancé.”
I scanned the room, completely overwhelmed, and asked the first thing that popped into my head. “I don’t understand why you are all here.”
They all looked at me with varying degrees of amusement.
“Let me take this one.” Crazy John stepped forward and came over to me to give it to me straight. “When one of us hurts, we all help. It’s been like that since Sasha and Drew lost their daddy, and I lost my best friend. They might have been teenagers, but we were there for each other and pulled each other through. Over the years, our family has grown. For a long time, the three of us only had each other, but now look at us. First, there was Missy, and then Sasha met Ben, and he, Austin and Gigs joined. You mean something to Austin, so that means your part of us now, and one day when Missy meets a man, and Drew finds his lady, we’ll be complete, well, until the babies start. So, we tonight we brought you cake and whiskey because we want to make sure you’re okay. It’s what my family does.”
My Only Reason (Men of Monroe Book 2) Page 27
