The final seconds I experienced nothing but the stillness in the air and the sounds of our bodies moving together in perfect harmony. The last moments I didn’t feel regret or the inevitable guilt which would consume me in the aftermath of the violence of our mutual release.
It was just Jen and me. Her and I. And nothing else.
The long wind down from unadulterated bliss between us was like the ending of a hauntingly beautiful song. I rolled away on to my back and stared at the ceiling. Guilt and shame washed over me, drowning out everything else.
I’d fucked Dante’s sister. Something I swore I’d never do. Not only that, I’d fucked her bare. Nothing between us because she asked it of me and I couldn’t deny her. No matter what I felt for Jen, it was a line I should never have crossed.
I hadn’t been expecting her to curl up against my side, her head resting on my chest as her fingers landed right above my heart. She lay there with me whilst my breathing evened out and my pulse skittered in my chest at her closeness.
“Are you going to kick me out?” she whispered.
“No.”
“Can I use your bathroom?”
I held back a smile.
“It’s across the hall.”
Her warmth disappeared. Whilst she was gone, I cleaned myself up and shifted under the covers. My eyes closed as the weight of what just happened sunk into my bones. I heard her return. Felt her move around the room before she climbed into bed with me. The room went dark behind my eyelids.
“Brent…?”
“Hmm?”
“Thank you for being here for me tonight.”
She picked up my arm and curled it around her as she settled next to me.
“You’re welcome.”
I listened to her breathing turn even and steady and felt it when she relaxed against me. When I was sure she’d fallen asleep, I opened my eyes and looked at her. Her eyelashes fanned over her cheeks. Her face void of all worries and cares. She looked so peaceful and it made my heart ache and burn.
“Jen,” I whispered. “I wish things were different. I wish I could tell you how long I’ve wanted this.”
I brushed her hair out of her face, careful not to disturb her.
“I wish I could tell you how much I love you. You’re the one, Jen. You always have been.”
Chapter Three
Jennifer
Present
Rubbing my face, I tried to concentrate on the issue one of the designers had brought to me about the latest collection, but I happened to be failing miserably. My mind kept drifting back to that night two and a half months ago. The night I’d done something stupid and had been paying for it ever since. No matter how many times I told myself to forget about it, I just couldn’t. The phantom touch of his skin against mine haunted me in my waking hours.
I hated him for it. Hated him more than I’d ever hated him before. And I really hated Brent fucking Coleman.
“Ugh, get out of my head,” I muttered, tapping away on the keyboard.
If only I’d not gone to him the night I found out about Fi and Jensen. If only I’d gone home. Then I wouldn’t be in this mess. Wouldn’t be thinking about his stupid handsome face and his heated gold flecked hazel eyes searing into my skin. I wouldn’t remember how I’d woken up in the middle of the night to find myself draped over him nor how I’d run my hand down his chest and wrapped it around his cock. The way he’d jerked awake. How I’d stroked him until he was hard and straddled his hips so I could sink down on him. The way he’d held onto my hips and stared up at me whilst I rode him. Neither of us had said anything. Like we knew words would lead to questions neither of us had answers to. Instead, he’d sat up, pulling me against him as we found our mutual release in each other with hands, lips and tongues exploring the contours of each other’s bodies.
Well that’s just fucking great. Now I’m turned on at work.
Turned on by the one person I couldn’t stand but who I desperately wanted to feel inside me again. And trust me, I’d tried to forget about sex with Brent. I’d gone out on a few dates, but the thought of anyone else’s hands on me didn’t fill me with excitement. One guy had tried to kiss me and I backed away before he could. His hands around my waist made my skin crawl.
So yeah, I was royally screwed and it was all stupid Brent’s fault. His fault for making me want him. His fault for having such a nice cock and hands which scorched my skin. His god damn fault for driving me fucking crazy with need.
I’d avoided him since that night. It hadn’t exactly been difficult since I’d been busy, but I couldn’t keep avoiding him. Not when I’d asked Dante and Liora if I could move back in because I was so damn lonely without Fi. Yes, I was happy for her, but at the same time I missed her presence in the flat. It just felt hollow and empty.
Dante’s face when I’d broached the subject was a mixture of confusion and concern. I guess when you’ve spent your whole life with one person and suddenly they’re not there any longer, it did strange things to you. Liora had been the one to say yes, especially with the baby coming as she’d appreciate the extra set of hands around the house.
So I was moving back into my brother’s house and renting out the flat I owned jointly with Fi. That was okay apart from the fact that bloody Brent would be around. We’d barely spoken two words to each other since then. Perhaps clearing the air would help, although I couldn’t say it wouldn’t end up in us arguing… or fucking again. I slapped my hand over my face and groaned at the thought. Why the hell had sex now entered the equation between us?
My office door opened. I looked up, eyes narrowing immediately when I saw who it was.
“Jennifer Benson,” came the suave tones of Maximillian Graves.
Can my day actually get any worse? What the hell is he doing here?
I’d known Max since school. He’d been a dick back then and I was pretty sure he’d still be a dick now. Wearing a grey collarless shirt with no tie and slim-fit navy chinos with brogues and no socks, he strolled into my room as if he owned the place. His blonde hair was swept back with gel and his crystal blue eyes twinkled. All the girls had a crush on him at school except me and Fi. Neither of us had been impressed by his good looks nor by his supposed charm.
“What are you doing here?”
I knew it wasn’t particularly polite of me to ask that without saying hello, but he didn’t deserve anything less. He didn’t get to walk into my office unannounced. My words clearly didn’t faze him in the slightest because he took a seat in front of my desk, propping up one of his ankles on his knee.
“Oh well, I had a meeting with your brother, thought I’d pop in and say hello. Reacquaint ourselves with each other and all that business.”
His smirk irritated me no end. I had no interest in reacquainting myself with him since we’d never really been on speaking terms in the first place. God, why did I have to have such annoying men in my life? First Brent and now this prick. And why the hell was he having a meeting with Dante?
“A meeting?”
“Oh yes, we had a damn good chat.”
I would be storming straight into Dante’s office and demanding answers the moment this dick got the hell out of my office.
“What do you want with me?”
He raised an eyebrow.
“I see you’ve not lost any of that feistiness, Jennifer.”
Stop fucking calling me that!
“And you haven’t stopped being a prick.”
He laughed, throwing his head back a little. Clearly, he thought I was joking. I wasn’t.
“Have dinner with me tonight.”
I ground my teeth. No way I was going out to dinner with him. Ever.
“I’m terribly sorry.” Not. Not sorry at all. “I’ve got plans.”
It wasn’t even a lie. Dante said he’d help me move my clothes out of the flat this evening. I’d already had some people in to redecorate the bedroom Fi and I used to share in his ho
use. Unlike James, I wasn’t into DIY.
“Tomorrow night then. I won’t take no for an answer.”
I fought against the urge to roll my eyes. I couldn’t really be bothered to argue with him. I already had enough on my plate with constant thoughts of bloody Brent. If agreeing got him to leave, then so be it.
“Fine. Give the details to my secretary.”
Absolutely no way was I giving him my number or my address. Perhaps between now and then I could think of an excuse as to why I couldn’t go. Dinner with Max Graves sounded like a complete waste of my time.
He graced me with another signature smirk before rising from the chair in front of my desk.
“Until tomorrow then.”
I didn’t dignify him with a response as he disappeared from my office without shutting the door. Rubbing my hand against my face again, I just wanted this day to be over.
“Ugh, prick,” I muttered, rising from my desk and walking around it. It was high time I found out why the hell my brother had decided to entertain that cretin.
I practically stormed out of the room and up the corridor, throwing open Dante’s door. He looked up from his desk, a deep frown etched into his features. I shut the door and strode over to him.
“Give me one good reason why you had a meeting with that stuck up piece of shit.”
He leant back in his chair
“Who are you referring to?”
I pointed at him.
“Don’t you sit there and act like you have no idea who I’m talking about.”
Dante had the sheer audacity to roll his eyes at me. Sometimes I wanted to throw my brother out a window. Why the hell had I decided it was a good idea to move back in with him? God knows how I’d deal with his constant prying into my life. It was a miracle he’d started leaving Fi alone now she had Jensen. Whilst my brother didn’t exactly approve of their relationship, he did know Jensen had Fi’s best interests at heart and would keep her safe.
“If you’d calm down and take a seat.”
Was he serious? I didn’t want to sit down. I wanted to know what he was playing at.
“Why was Max here?”
He sighed, running a hand through his hair which had grown out in the past few month. Dante usually kept it cropped close to his head. I assumed it’d slipped his mind with the baby on the way.
“He has the contacts we need to expand our distribution further afield, break into the new markets we’ve been targeting. His investment would also help us.”
Even if Max had those types of contacts, it didn’t matter. He was a creep and would likely try to screw us over. I didn’t trust him.
“You’d seriously entertain going into business with that prick?”
Dante scowled and gave me a look.
“Max is well respected in the industry. Drop the attitude, Jen. You don’t have to like him, but you do have to work with him.”
I stared at him for a long moment. He didn’t seem to be pulling my leg which meant he was serious about working with Max. And what did he mean I have to work with him?
“Me?”
“Yes, I want you to take care of this. You will be liaising with him and making sure everything runs smoothly.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Crossing my arms over my chest, I levelled him with a stare which would make a lesser man blanch. No such luck with Dante. I didn’t scare him. Some days I wish I did. It’d be easier to get my way if that was the case. I couldn’t wind my older brother around my little finger the way I sometimes managed to with James. He was too nice and affable to deny me or Fi many things. Dante just told me where to go if I annoyed him too much.
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me.”
“Why me? I don’t even deal with distribution or clients. That’s James and Fi’s thing.”
He shook his head.
“I’m giving you this because it’s important. You know very well I’m taking a step back when the baby comes.”
He’d discussed this with us a few times now. How he wanted the three of us to take more responsibilities on so the transition would be smooth. I had no idea how long he was planning to be away from work after Liora gave birth.
“But I hate him, Dante.”
“You’re basing your judgement off how he was in school. Besides, you say you hate a lot of people.”
Was that a dig at me regarding my attitude towards Brent? Why the hell is he in my head again? This day was turning into the worst ever.
“Because I do!”
“This is business, Jen. Deal with it. I expect you to behave yourself and act like a professional.”
I knew he was right. If this helped the company, then I’d have to do it. Didn’t mean I liked it. Max gave me the creeps. There was something off about him. He was too perfect. Too charming. Too well rehearsed. I didn’t trust anyone who was good on paper and had no discernible flaws in person.
And maybe a small part of me is being a brat to Dante because I slept with his best friend.
I told my brain to shove it. I couldn’t deal with shit like that. If Dante found out about it, I’m sure he’d be pissed as hell. Whether it would be directed at me or Brent, I had no idea. Probably both of us. It wasn’t like I’d gone to see Brent with the explicit purpose of getting naked with him. Hell, it had been the last thing on my mind that night. It just happened. And now I regretted every moment of it.
But do you? Do you really regret how good it felt to be held by him, kissed by him, touched by him?
Ugh, of course I regret it, how could I not?
“Okay, fine. I’ll work with him, but I’m telling you right now, if he starts shit with me, I will fuck him up.”
Guess this meant I would have to go to dinner with stupid Max Graves tomorrow. God, I really couldn’t take any more bad news today.
Dante shook his head and rolled his eyes again.
“Noted.”
He knew very well I wasn’t kidding. Max better watch himself.
I turned to leave but was stopped short of walking out by my brother’s voice.
“Liora isn’t feeling very well so Brent’s going to help you move your stuff later.”
I stiffened. The prospect of spending any time with Brent let alone being alone with him again in my flat filled me with nervous anticipation. Not what I needed. This really was the day from hell.
“And he’s okay with that?”
“Yes. I know you don’t like him but I need to stay at home with Liora.”
I couldn’t exactly complain since Liora was pregnant and his wife so it’s not like I took precedent. Still, did it have to be Brent? And why had he said yes? Did he want to see me? He hadn’t seemed to want anything to do with me after that night. Though I suppose I hadn’t exactly given him a chance to talk to me or anything.
To be quite honest, I was embarrassed. He’d seen me naked and been inside me. He’d had me begging for him. I never begged. Ever. I’d been wrong when I’d bet Fi he’d be bad in bed. He was good. So, so fucking good. It’s like he knew exactly how to play my body and I’d revelled in every moment of it. I’d wanted more, going so far as to have him a second time that night.
That bloody fucking night. Why? Why did I have to go there? With him of all people! I let him fuck me bare for crying out loud. Twice. Not just that, but I’d asked for it. Asked him not to use a condom.
What the hell is wrong with me?
The thing is, I trusted him even though I hated him. Brent wasn’t like other guys. He’d been in my life for twelve years. He knew me. Had seen me break down on numerous occasions. Even though we gave each other shit, he never crossed a line with me. Until that night. Now the line was so far behind us, neither of us could see it any longer. And a huge part of me knew the reason he hadn’t spoken to me about it had everything to do with that line and me being Dante’s sister.
“Is he going to meet me there?”
“He is.”
“Fine, but you owe me for all of this, Dante. Max and Brent.”
I glanced at him over my shoulder and found him scowling.
“What more do you want? You’re already going to be living in my house, rent free I might add.”
I grinned and fluttered my eyelashes at him.
“I’m your little sister, you’re supposed to look after me. Isn’t that what big brothers do?”
His scowl deepened. I knew pushing his buttons wasn’t a wise idea. Dante had been on edge ever since he found out he was going to be a dad. He shouldn’t worry so much. Him and Liora were going to make great parents. And I for one couldn’t wait to meet my nephew.
“If you don’t stop being a brat, then I might rethink my offer to let you stay at the house.”
“You wouldn’t!”
“Get out, Jen.”
I blew him a kiss over my shoulder before walking out. He’d never go through with that threat. Regardless of what Dante said, he always took care of us. My overly protective older brother couldn’t help it. Family meant everything to him. Keeping us safe and happy had become his top priority since Dad went to prison.
When I got back to my desk, I dropped my head onto it, groaning. I didn’t want to spend time with Brent tonight. Not when all I’d been able to think about today was how much I wanted a repeat of that night.
Idiot. Stupid fucking idiot.
I was not going to sleep with Brent again.
No matter what happened, that was a bad idea and I was done making stupid mistakes. Therapy had taught me a lot. Not least of all that I had to take control of my life and stop allowing the past to ruin my future. So yeah, I’d gone back to seeing Jensen weekly. And yes, I no longer referred to him as Doctor Andrews unless I happened to be in session. I couldn’t stay mad at him and Fi forever. Finishing my treatment was more important.
He didn’t know about Brent. I didn’t trust anyone with that piece of information. Not even Fi. I would tell her soon. When I’d worked out what the hell was even going on between Brent and me.
I had to stop thinking about him and get on with some work. Shoving aside all of my concerns, I raised my head off my desk and turned back to my computer. This issue with the designer couldn’t wait. The situation with Brent, however, could. It could damn well wait until this evening when I saw him and I could talk to him about that night which changed everything between us forever.
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