With a shaky hand, I held out the stick to him. His eyes fell on it and the blood drained from his face. He gently took it from me and peered down at the little screen. There was silence for a long minute. He discarded the stick on the bedside table before looking up at me and putting his hand out.
“Come here.”
I crawled on the bed. He tugged me closer and began to take my clothes off me until I was kneeling next to him in my knickers. Then he laid a hand across my stomach and stroked it whilst he stared into my eyes.
“Did you go out and get that?”
“Yes. I realised I’d missed my period during the week I was taking my dummy pills. I had to know. I had to be sure.”
“You should’ve woken me up. I would’ve taken you.”
More tears slipped down my cheeks at the love and adoration in his eyes. Was he okay with this? How could he be okay with this?
“I can’t do this. It’s too soon. I can’t. This wasn’t supposed to happen.”
He pulled me towards him and wrapped me up in his arms. I sobbed on his bare shoulder, feeling the weight of everything crashing down on me.
“Shh, it’s okay.”
It wasn’t. Nothing was. I felt broken, lost and so damn alone.
“I can’t,” I sobbed. “I can’t.”
“You can and you will. I love you. I love you so much. Please don’t cry. It’s going to be okay. I’m right here. We’ll do this together. You have me. Always. I promise it’ll be okay.”
I clutched him, feeling as though I was drowning and he was the only person in this world who could keep me afloat. His words penetrated my misery. Did he mean it? That he’d be here? He wasn’t mad?
“Together?”
“Yes, together. Do you think I’d leave you when you’re pregnant with my baby? Have a little bit more faith in me, Jen. I’m not going anywhere. Fuck, I can’t live without you.”
I cried harder. The world felt as though it was caving in on me. How could I ever have doubted him? He’d been here all along. Even when I’d been awful to him. God, I regretted the way I’d behaved so much.
“I love you,” I sobbed into his shoulder.
“I know.” He stroked my hair. “You don’t have to be afraid. We’re going to get through all of this.”
He gently pulled me down on the bed and held me against his chest after he’d tugged the covers over us. Leaning over me, he turned out the light and kissed the top of my head.
“Shh, my love, try to get some sleep. We’ll talk about this in the morning.”
He hummed along to some stupid song we’d heard on the radio when we’d been driving up here. Somehow the sound of it lulled me to sleep. It was that or emotional exhaustion. Either way, I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer.
Brent was here and taking care of me despite his own turmoil.
I couldn’t ask for any more.
***
When I woke up, the bed was empty next to me and I could hear the shower running. As much as I wanted to go jump in with him, I still felt like my world was all kinds of fucked up. And although Brent had said it was okay, it didn’t feel okay at all.
Grabbing my phone off the bedside table, I dialled my twin because I just bloody well needed her.
“Hey, everything okay?”
I hadn’t explained why I wouldn’t be in work today when I’d texted her last night.
“No… I’m with Brent, we had to go see his sister as her ex has taken her daughters. The police are involved and it’s all kinds of fucked up but that’s not why I’m calling.”
“Well, I did wonder why my senses have been tingling for days. Is Brent okay? Is his sister?”
I sighed, rubbing a hand over my face.
“Not really.” Tears began to well in my eyes. “Fuck… Fi, I don’t know what to do.”
“What’s wrong?”
The weight of it made my chest constrict. My hand fell to my stomach as tears ran down my face. A small tiny life was growing in there.
“I’m pregnant,” I choked out.
“What? You are? Are you sure?”
“Well, the test I took in the middle of the night was pretty fucking sure.”
I felt it too. Felt the truth of it.
“Well, shit.”
“Is that Jen?” I heard Jensen say in the background. “What’s she done now?”
“Can I tell him?” she asked me.
Didn’t see much point in keeping it from him. I likely needed to talk about it with him since I was scared fucking shitless.
“Put him on the phone.”
“She wants to talk to you,” I heard Fi’s muffled voice. “Okay, I’ll put her on speaker.”
A moment later, a deep voice rumbled down the phone, “You getting into trouble again?”
I didn’t have it in me to get riled up by his comment.
“You know how I told you Brent and I decided to make a go of things?”
When I’d had my session on Wednesday, I’d discussed it with him. He seemed happy for me which could only be a good sign. Although I hadn’t told him about the whole love revelation thing since that had been yesterday. There wasn’t time for it now.
“Yes.”
“Well, I’m now also pregnant.”
Jensen didn’t speak for a long moment.
“And you’re not happy about it.”
“I’m fucking terrified more like.”
“What does Brent think about it? I’m going to assume it’s his and you told him.”
“I don’t actually know since I broke down and cried on him. He told me it would be fine but it doesn’t feel fine at all.”
The shower turned off. I didn’t have long until he came out here.
“I need to go.”
“Do you want to come talk to me about it?”
“I guess so, but we aren’t in London.”
It would be better for me to be able to have a frank conversation about my feelings on the matter.
“When you get back then.”
“I don’t know when that will be. Fi can explain why.”
Brent walked out of the bathroom with just a towel wrapped around his waist. My eyes followed the droplets of water dripping down from his hair onto his chest. They ran down the well-defined muscles of his abs.
Well, damn. My boyfriend is too hot for words.
Despite everything going on, I couldn’t help but appreciated the view.
“Call me when you know, okay? Talk to him, Jen. I know you’re scared but do it for the both of you.”
I swiped at my eyes when I noticed Brent looking at me with concern etched into his features.
“I’ll try. Thank you, Jensen.”
“Anytime.”
“It’ll be okay, Jen. He cares about you. Text me and let me know what’s happening,” Fi put in.
“I will.”
I hung up and dropped the phone on the bed just as Brent sat down next to me. He reached up and wiped away the tears still spilling down my face.
“You called Jensen?”
“I called Fi… He was just there.”
He looked tired but I could hardly blame him since he was stressed about his nieces and then there’d been me waking him up in the middle of the night to inform him of his impending fatherhood.
Impending fucking doom more like.
“Why are you crying?”
“How can I not goddamn cry at a time like this? I can’t believe this is happening. I don’t want to be pregnant with your fucking baby right now.”
I shoved his hand away from my face. He looked at me with such sadness in his eyes, it almost cleaved my heart in two. Why the hell had I just said that?
“I know it’s a lot to take in and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared too, but you can’t take it out on me.”
As much as anger coursed through my veins, there was so much confusion, terror and sorrow there too.
Was it too much to ask that he’d just tell me if he wanted this with me?
I’m such a hypocrite. I just told him I didn’t want his baby which is a blatant fucking lie.
Instead of throwing more shit in his face, I buried mine in my hands and let out a pitiful sob. Having a baby should fill me with joy. It didn’t. The world was having a joke at my expense. I finally had the one person I’d always needed and now it might well all turn to shit.
“Shh, come here.”
He wrapped me up in his arms and stroked my hair as I continued to cry into my hands unable to bear the thought of looking at him.
“It’s okay, just let it out,” he murmured. “You’re okay.”
How could I be okay? Nothing about this was remotely okay. My heart ached. I felt so shit since I’d been awful to him and here he was comforting me. What the hell did I do to deserve him?
“I’m sorry,” I sobbed. “I’m so sorry.”
“Shh, don’t apologise.”
“But I am sorry. All these years, I treated you like shit and here I am doing it again. You don’t deserve any of it. You’re so good to me.”
I felt him pull away before his hands rested on mine. He tugged them down before cupping my chin and forcing my face upwards. His gold flecked hazel eyes spoke volumes.
“I love you just the way you are. You know that. You can give me as much shit as you like and I’ll still be here. Don’t you get it by now? You’re perfect to me.”
His words made me cry harder. How could I be perfect to him when I was a hot mess? And there was one question still nagging at me.
“Do… do you want this baby?”
He smiled and stroked his thumb across my cheek.
“I think you need to clean your ears out. I distinctly remember telling you yesterday before everything went to shit, I want you to be the mother of my children.”
He had said that whilst he was fucking me into oblivion.
“It’s a yes or no question.”
He shook his head, still smiling and rolled his eyes.
“Yes, idiot. I want this baby with you.”
I didn’t even care about him calling me an idiot. Reaching out, I grabbed his face and pulled him to me, kissing him for all I was worth.
“Make love to me.”
“Now?”
“Right now.”
He smiled against my lips. Normally I’d have told him to fuck me, but it didn’t seem like the right word. We probably should’ve talked more, but I wanted him close to me.
He wants our baby.
My heart swelled and whilst our lives were still a mess, some of the worry slipped away. Brent would take care of me. Of us.
He pushed me down on the bed and slipped between my legs after practically ripping my knickers off. The wicked smile on his face had me melting and growing wet for him. The way he held me with such tenderness and care as he slid inside me. How he kissed my skin and told me I was beautiful. And the heights he made me soar to only served to make me fall deeper in love with him.
When we both fell over the edge with each other, the bliss I experienced was unlike anything else. Laying in his arms afterwards, our breathing laboured and our hearts hammering I felt safe and loved. Brent had kept telling me over and over again during the past few weeks he’d protect me. And for the first time, I believed the words he’d said.
“We’re going to have a baby,” I whispered.
He stroked a hand across my stomach.
“Mmmhmm, I hope he or she looks just like his mother.”
And I hoped our baby looked just like him.
Chapter Twenty Two
Brent
Was I completely overwhelmed by the past twenty four hours of revelations? Hell to the fucking yes I was. First Jen admitting she loved me as long as I’d loved her, telling Dante, the shit with Sid, Cam and the kids and now? Now my beautiful firestorm was pregnant with my baby. Yes, I wanted a baby with her and I would take care of the both of them, but fuck, Jen was right. It was entirely too soon. She didn’t need me freaking out on her though. She needed me to be the strong one so she could fall apart over it.
I honestly didn’t blame her for not taking the news well. Seeing that fucking stick and realising what she was trying to tell me last night made me feel sick. Knocking Jen up was not part of the plan. She’d told me when she thought it had happened after I got off the phone to Cam. We’d have to get it confirmed by a doctor when we got back to London.
I had my phone to my ear now as in light of the insanity happening in our lives, I needed to do something. I’d run Jen a bath so she could relax a little with everything going on.
“Hey, how’s your sister?” Liora said. She sounded exhausted.
“Not good. The police haven’t located Sid and the girls yet, but we’re hoping they’ll have more information for us later.”
“Oh god, Brent, I’m so sorry.”
Honestly, I was fucking shit scared for my nieces, but there was nothing else I could do other than be there for Cam.
“They’ll find them. They have to… Listen, that’s not really why I’m calling.”
“Oh?”
“I need to speak to D, but he wasn’t answering his phone.”
“He’s changing Logan. Is there anything I can do?”
I tried not to grin at the image of Dante at a changing table but failed miserably.
“You got him doing the heavy lifting?”
“He has no choice in the matter.”
I laughed. Liora had certainly taken Dante to task on many occasions and this was no different.
“As amusing as this is, I actually need him to do something important for me.”
“And that is? Tell you what, I’ll put you on speaker.”
I heard shuffling for a moment and a murmur of voices.
“What do you want, Brent?” came Dante’s voice.
“Two things really.”
“And they are…? For fuck’s sake, I can’t get these stupid little snappy buttons to close. Who the hell invented these? They’re the most inconvenient bloody things.”
“Here, let me,” Liora said and I could’ve sworn she must’ve been rolling her eyes at him.
“I see you two are taking to parenting so well.”
“Fuck off, what do you want?” he practically growled into the phone.
“All right, D, chill out.”
“Be nice, his nieces are missing,” Liora scolded.
Next thing I heard was a loud wail and Liora shushing and cooing Logan.
“Just spit it out already, I haven’t got all day.”
I rolled my eyes. Dante was in a fucking mood and it probably wasn’t the right time, but I needed him to do this before Jen and I got back to London.
“I know I technically don’t need this, but I want to ask your permission to ask Jen to be my wife.”
“Why the fuck do you want my permission? Jen’s going to do whatever she wants regardless of my opinion.”
“It matters to me.”
And it did. Not that I even wanted it, but I had Zach’s approval. Dante meant more to me than that and he’d practically raised his siblings. He was more their father figure than Zach ever was. Sure, it was unorthodox to ask your girlfriend’s brother for permission to marry his sister, but I didn’t give a shit.
“You’re going to ask Jen to marry you?” Liora put in now Logan had quietened down.
“At some point soon, yes, which leads me onto the other reason I called.”
“You want me to get the ring sorted for you,” Dante said.
“Wait, when did you two go look at rings?”
“When D was choosing yours,” I replied.
I’d helped him find the right one for Liora even though neither of us were good at that stuff. Honestly, he probably should’ve taken Fi and Jen, but we’d managed. Besides, I’d also found the perfect ring imaginable for Jen. Not that I ever had hop
e of marrying her back then, but I’d pointed out to Dante if I was to ever ask a girl to marry me, it would be with that one. I think he knew I was talking about Jen when he decided I should buy it. So it’d been sitting in his desk ever since we’d picked up Liora’s ring just waiting for the right time.
“Fine, I’ll go today. I’m sure Liora can find one of her rings for me so I can ask them to resize it. It’s your funeral if she says no.”
“She won’t say no.”
I don’t know why I was so sure about it, but I was. This wasn’t just because she was having my baby. I didn’t want to wait any longer. Jen and I had spent too long apart because we were both too stubborn to admit our feelings to each other for different reasons. To most, this would probably be too soon. Far too soon but fuck it. Jen was the one. She’d always been the one.
“And you do have my permission, not that you fucking well need it. I welcome you taking her off my hands.”
My heart felt lighter already knowing he really was okay with all of this. And the fact he hadn’t told me to wait either. Dante knew how determined I got about things so it would probably be useless of him to try dissuading me from asking her.
“You’re such a nice brother.”
“Fuck off.”
“In all seriousness, thank you. It means a lot.”
“Sappy shit.”
“Whatever bitch, you’re on nappy duty so who has the better deal here?”
I heard him let out a huffed breath.
“No wonder my sister thinks you’re annoying as shit.”
I laughed, shaking my head. Jen did still think that to this day, but she also loved me so I didn’t really care about her saying it.
“Speaking of your sister, I need to go turf her out the bath so we can go around to Cam’s.”
“Are you sure about all of this?”
I wasn’t going to tell him I’d knocked his sister up quite yet, but I’d never been surer of anything in my life. Jen and I were meant to be and that was fucking that.
“Yes dickhead, I love Jen.”
“As I said, your fucking funeral. I’ll text you when I’ve sorted it.”
He hung up without letting me respond. Fucking typical. It wasn’t even his phone, it was Liora’s. Didn’t matter. I really did have to get my girlfriend out of the bath.
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