Telling him that had to have been hard. The vulnerability in her voice made him want to hold her and protect her. It took guts to be honest and even more to be open and honest about feelings people may not understand .
“That’s nae bein’ selfish. It’s bein’ honest with yerself. Ye have to be in a place where this is what ye want in order to run it properly.” He pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her. “This is a big decision. One ye were nae ready to make yet. Anyone can understand that.”
She leaned back and looked up at him. “You say that, but I’m Sarah. I’m easy-going, nice to a fault. Every Disney princess rolled into one. Certain behavior is expected of me, and I don’t want to let anyone down.”
There was a vulnerability coming from her he’d never experienced. He had no idea she was carrying all of this on her own. “Ye arenae lettin’ anyone down. Everyone has a moment where they question what to do.”
“My mom left me a video diary. I got it the day of the will reading.”
“What did she say? Did she explain why she wanted the marriage clause?”
Sarah nodded and then leaned her head against his chest. “She didn’t want me to be alone like she was. She didn’t want me giving everything to Sunshine and leaving nothing for myself.”
“Sounds like she was tryin’ to look out for ye.”
“I know she was, but that doesn’t make it any less stressful. I don’t know if I can do it, but if I don’t…” Soft sobs escaped, and Taran tightened his hold on her.
He kissed the top of her head. “It’ll be okay, Sarah.” He had to help. Even if it meant marrying her and then getting a divorce. The sanctuary shutting down wasn’t an option. And another man marrying her wasn’t an option either. A thousand knots formed just thinking about it.
“I don’t know what to do.”
“Marry me.” The words popped out before he could use his filter, but if she couldn’t marry someone else and the sanctuary couldn’t close, what other option was there?
Sarah leaned back with her palms flat against his chest. “What? No.”
They locked gazes .
His pulse quickened, and the blood rushed in his ears. He’d asked her to marry him, but what if she didn’t want him like that? “Do ye want to keep the sanctuary open?”
“Yes.”
“Then it’s settled.”
She pulled away from him. “No, it’s not. We’re friends, and we left it that way on purpose. Marriage would complicate things.”
“Aye, but we can work it out.” He said it, but even his conviction wavered a bit. Complicated seemed too small a word for what he was suggesting. Marriage wasn’t some simple thing. It was messy even when the people wanted to be married.
He took her in his arms again. “Listen, I know I wanted to marry once. But I cannae see lettin’ those kids go without that therapy. That was the most incredible thing I’ve seen. It helped them, and their parents. It was like watchin’ a small miracle every time.”
Cool, slender fingers cupped his cheek. “But you’ll be away from your family for six months. I know you’d be miserable. I can’t do that to you.” She brought her hand back down to his chest. He was sure it was pounding so hard she could feel it.
He’d never been away from them that long, and the thought did make him anxious. So had leaving Sarah. Would having more time to decide what he wanted be a bad thing? “I can call them. We can visit them. Penelope’s goin’ to have a baby. Ye cannae tell me ye dinnae want to be there for that.”
“I do, but…”
Taran shook his head. “No, I want to do this. I’ll continue to stay in the guestroom. Nothin’ about us will change except ye’ll have a piece of paper, and ye’ll get to keep the sanctuary. It’s a small sacrifice in the grand scheme of things.”
“What would your mom and dad say? Rory and Angus?” She exhaled sharply. “Paige and Penelope?”
A chuckle popped out. “Are they nae the ones who sent me here? Mum and Pop may nae have been directly involved, but I have nae doubt they knew. So did Duff and Anise.” More than likely, they’d all be tickled.
“But won’t they be disappointed when we divorce six months later?” There was something else in her voice. Something that made him pause as he considered it. What if he couldn’t divorce her later? Or didn’t want to? Would there be a possibility she’d want out? He didn’t know how to answer her without revealing his own doubts.
“Let’s worry about that six months from now. At the moment, our concentration is on gettin’ married and keepin’ Sunshine open.” That’s what they needed to do. Six months was a long time from now, and who knew what could happen between now than then.
Sarah seemed to consider his words. When she locked gazes with him again, there was a small, tight smile on her lips. “Okay, but no matter what happens, if you want out at any time, you tell me. I’d rather be friends with you than nothing at all.”
“Same goes for ye. “
She hesitated and then nodded. “Okay.”
Part of him was thrilled. The other part was confused. Sarah was going to be his, but there was a time limit he wasn’t sure he liked. Maybe by the time six months was over, he could convince her there didn’t need to be a divorce. Maybe by then, he’d know what he wanted himself.
Chapter 13
Curling her legs under her, Sarah cuddled on her bed, thick pillows propping her up. She pointed the remote at the TV, and the screen flickered to life. After the night she’d had at the ball, she needed to know the rest of what her mom wanted to tell her.
Would her mom really want her to get married if she knew she wasn’t going to stay married? What would her mom think? When Sarah had said yes to Taran, it was the obvious answer, but as the gravity of what they were doing began to set in, it made her second-guess herself.
Taking a deep breath, she pressed play.
“…I shouldn’t have let you make that promise. The sanctuary gave me joy and a sense of purpose and belonging after your father left. It was my way of filling a hole he left without putting my heart in the palm of someone else to crush again. But my failures aren’t yours. Letting you use this place as a shield to protect yourself from the world was wrong. I want better for you.”
Sarah exhaled. “Oh, Momma. I’m so sorry.”
“Here’s what I want from you. Consider the promise you made null and void. I have a new promise I want you to make.”
“Okay.”
“I want you to promise me that you’ll be happy. If you want to keep this sanctuary going, do it. If you don’t, sell it or find someone who will. Don’t let this place be a noose. Promise me,” she said and paused. “Promise me you’ll choose you, whatever your decision is.”
Sarah was stunned. She paused the video again .
What if she’d finished watching this that first night? Would she have felt obligated to keep going? It wasn’t a simple question. It wasn’t until Thursday that it really hit her how important Sunshine was. The desperation peppered with hope in Shauna’s voice…Ben needed to ride. Sunshine was the only place for him. If she closed it, where would he go? Would she be able to live with herself if she shuttered it?
The answer came from her heart in a resounding no. She did find joy in Sunshine. She had a purpose, and a belonging too. It was the stress of running it alone that made her pause. But she wouldn’t be alone.
Her thoughts derailed the moment that thought flittered through her mind. She’d have six months with Taran. But it was only six months. After that, she’d be back in the same position. By herself. Yes, she had Trudy, but there was only so much she could do.
She couldn’t believe he’d actually asked her to marry him. Even entertaining that thought made her nervous. A marriage of convenience was for pioneer women and mail order brides, not women living in the current century. And yet, here she was…conveniently getting married.
Could she go through with it? She exhaled and slumped sideways on the bed, pressing the play butt
on again.
“Most of all, I want you to know how much I love you. You have grown into such a beautiful, wonderful woman with such a big heart. Your kindness. Your ability to seek out the good in people even where it’s hard to find. You are my greatest accomplishment. Know whatever you decide to do, I love you, and I’m proud of you. I’ll sign off now.”
The video flickered a moment, and she started speaking again. “Oh, by the way, if Taran really is the carbon copy of Angus, great gravy, that man is good-looking. Love you! Bye!”
Sarah snorted, and her body shook as she laughed. Leave it to her mom to make her laugh one more time. She wasn’t wrong either. Taran was a good-looking man.
A light knock came from the door. “Sarah?”
She paused the disc. “I’m decent. You can come in. “
Taran peeked in the door. “Are ye talkin’ to someone?”
She pushed up on her elbow and put her head in her hand. “I was watching the rest of my mom’s video.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.” He started to shut the door.
“Wait,” she said and sat up. “Could we talk for just a minute?”
He stepped inside the room. “Sure. Is everythin’ okay?”
“She wanted me to watch this alone, but would you watch it again with me?” She wasn’t sure why she was asking him to do that, but she wanted him to know her mom. Or at least a piece of her. She’d just cut out most of the parts where her mom talked about Taran. The last thing she needed was him feeling pressured.
“Are ye sure?”
She scooted over and patted the bed next to her. “I’m sure.”
Taran crossed the room and sat next to her. She started the video again, and together they watched it. As it ended, Taran threw his head back and laughed at her mom. “Cannae say she hides how she feels.”
“No, she was one in a million. At least to me. She’s all I had for so long. I mean, I had Paige and Penelope, but she was all the family I had. She was an only child. After my dad left, his family contacted us a few times, but soon that stopped.”
He put his arm around her shoulders and drew her to him. “I’m sorry.”
Nestled next to Taran was the best feeling in the world. With a simple touch, he could make everything better. Even the loss of her mom. There were still times when she caught herself pressing her mom’s number on the phone, only to remember and end the call.
Cupping her cheek with his hand, he brought her gaze to his. “Sarah, I want ye to be honest with me. Is this what ye want? Are ye sure? I know ye said ye were, but I’d like to hear it again.”
The touch was electric, and her stomach fluttered. “I’m sure. Are you sure about marrying me? I mean, it’s big, Taran.”
“Aye. I can handle six months of anythin’.” He smiled and dropped his hand into his lap.
It hit her like a slap. She was sure he didn’t mean it that way, but it certainly felt that way. Getting dreamy-eyed about marrying him was silly. He did kiss her, and surely it wasn’t possible he didn’t feel the connection. Or maybe he didn’t, and that’s why he would be able to move on when his time was up .
“Me too,” she said and shrugged. “It’s not like anything has changed. We’re friends. And you’re doing me a huge favor, but it’s not just for me. It’ll help others too.”
“Aye. Ben needs this place. All of them do. I want to help while I’m here. Ye think Trudy would teach me?”
Sarah studied him a moment. Excitement bubbled from him. Something had happened to him Thursday. It added an even deeper level of affection for him. “Trudy can teach you. I never came out on the weekdays. Which reminds me, I need her to teach me too. That way if something happens, I can take over.”
The smile he gave her warmed her to her toes. “We’ll learn together, then.”
It was going to be hard to see him every day, to keep herself from falling head over heels for him. She needed to do something to protect her heart; otherwise, in six months, she wasn’t sure what would be left of her when he was gone .
She sighed. “I know you want to tell everyone about getting married, but I don’t think that’s a good idea. They’ll get the wrong impression. I think we need to just keep it low-key, super private, and at the end, we can quietly let it come to an end.”
He stood with his hands on his hips. “They’ll understand. I can explain everythin’. We both can.”
“But won’t it hurt them to know you’re getting married and then six months later ending it? That it’s only to help me keep Sunshine open?” Sarah didn’t want to lose her cool, but telling everyone was a good way to make this whole thing way more complicated than it already was.
Taran scrubbed his face with his hands. “Yer right. I wasnae thinkin’ about that. We’ll keep it simple. Where did ye want to do this? I guess when is an even better question.”
Sarah thought for a moment. She wasn’t sure how long it would take to find a minister. Or anything. Maybe they could just go to the courthouse. That would definitely be simple. No fuss, no muss.
It wasn’t how she pictured her wedding day. She’d imagined a wedding with loads of flowers in the building where the ball was held, overlooking the ocean. Pictures of her and her new husband in their wedding attire to hang in their home. She wanted her friends and family in attendance to help her celebrate. A bone-deep sadness enveloped her, and for a moment, she found it hard to breathe.
“Sarah?”
“I’m fine.” She was anything but fine .
Taran sat beside her. “We dinnae have to do this. No one would think any less of ye.”
“No, I’m good. I was just thinking about when and where. We can go to the courthouse on Monday when they open. It might take a couple of weeks, and we’ll have to sell it. You being from out of the country, they’ll want to make sure you’re not just getting married to stay in the country.”
“I think I can manage that.” He tapped the end of her nose with his finger. “Sellin’, that is.”
She rolled her eyes. If that MacLachlan charm was bottled and sold, they’d have a bigger fortune than they already had. “All right, charmer, I think it’s time we got some sleep.”
He lifted an eyebrow.
Her cheeks burned like they were on fire. She smacked him on the arm. “You in your room, and me in mine.”
Taran stood and walked to the door. “I’ll see ye tomorrow.” He winked and shut the door as he left.
Sarah flopped back on the bed. “God help me. How am I going to live through this?”
Strangely enough, a peace settled over her. Whatever happened, she’d handle it. She was Lydia Freeman’s daughter, and her mom could handle anything. That meant she could too.
Chapter 14
Taran and Sarah had gone to the courthouse Monday morning and found out they only needed to wait three days to be married. Taran’s citizenship didn’t factor in, only in that he had to change the type of visa he had. The three days had zipped by, and in a few hours, he’d be married.
It made his heart race and his stomach twist at the same time. It was a confusing feeling. One he wished he could talk to Angus or Rory about. Duff had been married so long, and if he told Duff, he’d definitely tell his mum and pop.
In his pocket, his phone began to ring. Angus. Sometimes he wondered if his older brother could sense when something was troubling him.
“Hello,” Taran answered.
“I want to know how things are going. Rory and I are curious.”
Taran chuckled. “And Penelope and Paige?”
Angus laughed with him. “Aye, all of us.”
“Do ye nae think it’s too soon to know anythin’?” He sat on the edge of the bed and lay back .
“We’re MacLachlan’s. It’s yes or no with us, and it doesn’t take long to know which.”
He had to agree with his brother. Once their decisions were made, things moved fast for them. The only question Taran had was whether the decision had been made .
“There’s
a lot of silence from your end, Taran. What’s wrong?”
Angus always knew when something was going on. There was no hiding from him. It had been like that since Taran was a toddler. “I promised nae to tell anyone.”
“What do you mean? What’s going on? You’ll tell me or else.”
“Or else what? Yer in Scotland. I’ve got thousands of miles on ye.”
“I’ll get a flight, come there, and beat it out of you.”
Taran held in a laugh. “I’m younger and stronger. Ye couldna take me.”
Angus scoffed. “I can and I will. Now tell me what’s going on.”
He sat up and ran his knuckles along his jaw. “If I tell ye, ye have to give yer word ye will speak of it to nae one. I told Sarah I’d keep it quiet.”
“I don’t know. Penelope’s not someone I can keep things from. That woman can wheedle an ice cube out of a clump of sand.”
“Ye’ll have to promise, brother. Otherwise, ye’ll just have to come here and wallop me.”
A long pause and a deep breath. “Aye, you have my word.”
Taran told him everything. When he was finished, the silence on the other end made him think Angus had either hung up or the call had dropped. “Angus?”
“I’m here. Contemplating.” Angus’s tone was somber .
It made Taran feel like he’d disappointed him. And that was something he didn’t want. “Give it to me.”
“Do you love her?”
“I cannae move here. I cannae be with her long term.”
“That’s not what I asked. Do you love her?”
Taran didn’t know how to answer him. The kiss the other night had been like nothing ever before. Being with her the last few days had made him happier than he’d ever been. She made him laugh. Her heart was wide open, and she was willing to do whatever it took to take care of the sanctuary, even if it meant sacrificing her own happiness because people needed it. “I care about her.”
Mending The Billionaire Brother (MacLachlan Brothers Romance Book 3) Page 8
