THIRTY-ONE
Saturday morning, just before the sun came up, I lay in bed, eyes wide, trembling. Staring at the ceiling as gloomy gray light filtered in through the blinds, I thought of the nightmare I had just had.
In this one, a twisted version of the Dark Dream, everything around me was black once again. I was looking for something. Some sort of salvation, maybe, from the inkiness that enveloped me. I moved about, blind, searching.
Along the way I heard screaming voices. Some were creepy and high-pitched. Some were low and guttural. All were dreadful and frightening.
Get the hell out of here! One screamed as if to protect something that it didn’t want encroached upon. I cringed at the aggressiveness in the voice and scurried on faster, sightless, trying to leave it far behind.
And although I couldn’t see, I knew there must be something out in the black void that could help me. Something I could embrace and use against this Dark Dream.
And so I searched.
Off to my right, another voice boomed.
What are you doing in here?
The sound reverberated throughout my body like a bass drum.
In here?
Just what was I doing in here? I knew that I had been here before, but why did I keep coming back? Why did I keep returning to this place, this empty abyss?
To find something, I was sure. I could feel it, something that couldn’t speak to me directly but called out to me nonetheless.
So I carried on, determined to find what it was that beckoned me.
Lost.
A younger voice yelled out from below me this time. Not a child’s voice, but still one that had not vocally matured.
You’re gonna fuckin’ die!
I jumped this time, thinking that the owner of the angry voice would grab me by the legs and pull me down into whatever hell it dwelt but nothing reached out to me and I couldn’t actually feel a presence connected to the voice. I ran on nonetheless.
By this time I was crying. I didn’t know where I was and I didn’t know where I was going. All I did know was that I was lost and scared and being yelled at by strange, furious voices. I also knew that something out in the darkness waited for me, something good that wanted to be found, something that wanted to help.
In the original Dark Dream, I was always surrounded by an absence of light. I could feel giant bubbles surrounding me and every time one of them popped, a yell or a scream or a cry would penetrate the silence. But in this version of the dream, there were no bubbles and I was hearing actual words, sentences; shouting questions and accusations.
Frightened of these, still, I journeyed on.
I think by this point I had come to realize that it was a dream. The Dream. I would have given anything to have awoken and been back in the safety of my room. But I couldn’t escape it. It was as if something wouldn’t let me leave this torment.
I searched.
A voice from above said, The fuck’s going on in here?
Then another followed from off to the left. Leave ‘im alone!
I still shuddered at each one, but by this time I was expecting the voices, as if I were watching a scary movie and I knew the person walking through the woods at night-violin music playing-was about to be pounced upon by the murderer. I knew something was coming, but when it happened I jumped all the same.
Whishing for an end to the nightmare, hoping one would come, knowing it wouldn’t soon enough, I decided to yell back. It was the defense mechanism in me, kicking on; a feeling that if I couldn’t get away, I could at least fight back.
I tried, but it came out more of a shaky whisper than a yell.
I want out. Leave me alone. Help…me…please.
As soon as I spoke, another deep baritone voice boomed back. What the hell’s going on here?
At the sound of it, I began to run again. My fight or flight switch had turned back to flight and I ran and cried. I cried harder than I had ever cried in my waking life. I ran for miles. I ran for hours. I may have gone only a few feet. I had no idea. No concept of time or distance. I was alone, scared and lost.
Then a small flash of light, no bigger than a corn kernel, exploded and then refracted in an instant. It had come from somewhere up ahead in the darkness.
Or had it?
Understanding somewhat that this was a nightmare, I couldn’t tell what the light was or if it had even happened in the first place. Maybe I had made it happen myself. Maybe my own mind was trying to create a light source for me.
Either way, I headed for it. It was some sort of light and I needed it to break free from the darkness. It might even be a way out of this hell.
As I started toward it, another small starburst appeared followed by the most beautiful sound: a bark.
And right then I knew that that’s what I was searching for. Whatever had made that sound was my savior.
I searched.
I walked on, faster now, in the direction of the sound. I heard another voice along the way. What the hell do you think you’re doing? Although this voice sounded just as angry as the others, it didn’t scare me as much. I knew help was up ahead. Not far from where I was.
In the distance, a friend waited, I knew.
The next flash of light came from off to my left, bigger this time, about the size of a quarter. It seemed that I had miscalculated my direction in the darkness. Or the light wasn’t coming from one spot but several. Either way, I headed for the new flash.
There were no more voices from that point on, but as I traveled, what seemed like every few minutes, a new light would explode and fade. Sometimes the light would be crystal white and other times it appeared to be blue or red or green. At times there was more than one explosion at once.
I was close enough now that the flashes of light were bigger than dinner plates. And to my surprise, I discovered that each burst was not a singular flash like a camera bulb, but made up of hundreds of smaller lights, exploding in unison, like a skyrocket or a mortar round.
As I neared closer still, each eruption gave off a popping sound. Faint at first and louder the closer I got.
Flash. Pop.
Running on. I hadn’t heard the barking sound again but I was anxious to find its source. I new something wonderful had made that noise, something great, something that wanted to be my friend.
Flash. Pop.
When the next explosion happened, it was huge and lit up the darkness all around. Briefly. But for that one fraction of a second, I saw a figure come from out of the light. A dark shadow of a shape with outstretched arms.
I stopped.
Hello, there, I yelled. I’m lost. I need help.
Nothing.
Only darkness.
Please. Anybody, I cried. I was going to call out once more, but…
Flash. Boom.
This time the light was blinding, the sound deafening. I was close now. Very close. As if the explosions were some thirty feet away. In the light I caught a quick glimpse of two silhouettes this time, one coming out of the new flash and one where the flash before it had been: two small forms with outstretched arms and then I was plunged back into darkness.
What where they?
Where they little men?
Strange small creatures?
I couldn’t be certain of anything but I called to them, hoping for some answer.
Who’s there? What do you want? I’m lost. Can you help me?
Flash. Boom. Flash. Boom.
Two more explosions and two more figures appeared as the space was lit up around me.
They didn’t answer my questions and I didn’t ask again.
Somewhere up ahead of me, in the darkness, four beings stood, four things with outstretched arms, staring in my direction.
Bark.
The sound came again; the beautiful barking sound. It came from just past where the figures stood. As if I’d have to get through them in order to find this new friend.
Flash. Boom.
Another figure appeared ou
t of a starburst as if being born from it or borne upon it.
Then the barking became rapid, seven or eight yaps in a row. It was as if whatever was making the noise was trying to send me an urgent message.
Come now. Come now while there’s still time.
But I couldn’t move. I didn’t want to go through those dark menacing figures. I was terrified.
Flash. Boom.
Another silhouette.
Flash. Boom.
And another.
The explosions were happening faster now. Every second, another flash of light and another thunderous boom and another dark figure.
There were hundreds, now.
Then thousands.
It seemed as if it would never end. I stood rooted in place, watching each new explosion become a small humanoid form. It was like some terrible grand finale to a macabre firework show.
And just when I thought I’d lose it, like I was going to go absolutely crazy, it stopped.
And the darkness rolled back in, thick as a blanket.
I strained my eyes to see but it was all infinitely black. I strained to hear but the silence was immense. I prayed for that barking sound to come to me again. Just to hear it one more time, to put me at ease.
Nothing.
I was about to call out again to locate my unfound friend when all of a sudden…
FISSSSSSSSS.
…a strange light, red as blood, shot straight up into the abyss. I watched its ascent as it went higher and higher, a long smoky tail trailing behind.
Here, the barking started back up, loud and continuous, as if warning me again. Or, maybe, whatever was barking was just as terrified as I was.
Up, up, up the light went.
Bark, bark, bark.
And just as I thought the light would never stop streaking upward, it too exploded. But the sound was far off, just a small crackle.
The light from the eruption was bright and powerful. It began to float slowly back down like a distress flare.
The barking had stopped.
The light came down, down, down. And the closer the light came back to its starting point, the more everything around me became illuminated.
Thank God, I thought, light. Now I can find what it was I was looking for. Now I can-
But as the light fell back down, it began to reveal what it was that had been coming out of those starburst explosions.
And they were everywhere.
In that nightmare, I began to cry again. I sobbed uncontrollably, screamed.
Now I really did want out more than anything. If I was terrified before, it was nothing compared to this. I was pissing-my-pants scared shitless, now.
As the light fell further, it revealed more of the landscape before me. The figures stood and stared with open arms as if ready to embrace me.
There were dead children everywhere, standing, like statues.
They looked as if they’d been in car accidents and thrown down stairs, abused. They looked like someone had been at them with glass and fire. Their clothes were ruined, their skin split and dripping, bones broken. They all had the same Oscar the Grouch faces, eyeless, the fur black as if scorched. The front two teeth in each mouth were missing. Around their necks, they wore identical shoelaces, pulled taught, so the skin bulged. Their chests heaved as if they couldn’t get enough air down their windpipes. And they stared, ready to take me down.
The light fell more and I realized I was standing in an endless field of grass, yellow with death. The children stood in formation a thousand feet deep and thousand feet long.
I could barely see over their heads to the open field behind them. A small shape moved about, hopping in the grass. It no longer gave off the urgent barking sound, only whined as if to say, ‘See you later alligator. I’m outta here.’ It turned in a circle, danced and bounded off into the vast field, away from the army of corpse children.
I felt terribly sad at the sight of it leaving. It had abandoned me with these ghoulish dead kids and the fading light.
The light that was getting closer and closer to the ground.
The children stood, panting, arms splayed.
The light continued it’s decent, now twenty feet above the field.
Now ten.
The dead children began to stir. Arms and fingers moved with popping and clicking sounds.
Five feet.
One child took a step forward, then another. I began to cry harder, knowing what was coming.
The light fell. Three feet, two, one.
Darkness.
Then, I felt the earth beneath me begin to shudder. It began to rumble, the stampede approaching.
Moaning. Laughter. Crying.
I was run down and trampled by hundreds of legs. Dead hands began to grab at me. Feet began to stomp on me. I felt the burnt, gooey fur of their faces against my skin. As they bit and scratched and screamed, I somehow knew they were doing this because they were jealous that I was alive and they were not. And in the nightmare, as I slowly began to die…
…I woke…in my bed…and stared at the ceiling.
Frisbee Page 38
