Secrets of Spain Trilogy

by Caroline Angus Baker

  “You’re getting married?” María spluttered. “You forgot one thing.”

  “No, I asked you for a divorce. I think you need to leave.” Cayetano was not angry, he was defensive. The last thing he needed was María’s fat mouth to ruin things.

  Luna turned and shut the double glass doors from the living room into the entranceway, so the boys didn’t hear the argument. “Look, if you two need space or whatever, I’m fine with that.”

  “I don’t need space,” María shot back. “I needed to tell my husband that I’m pregnant.”

  “Congratulations,” Cayetano said. “You and your adulterous cameraman will be able to raise your little Satanic baby together.”

  María looked at Luna and back to Cayetano. “You never told her, did you?”

  “What?” Luna shrugged.

  “María, you need to shut up!” Cayetano yelled, which surprised both women. “I want you to leave.” His heart had begun to pound in his chest.

  “Cayetano and I spent the night together, a few weeks ago. I guess it’s a miracle, we sleep together on the one right day of the month he decided to fire live rounds instead of his usual blanks. I found out today, we’re having a baby. Just like my Caya always wanted.”

  Cayetano felt cold to the bone. Just when he thought he had got his shit together, his whole life started to slip away. The look on Luna’s face said it all. “I don’t believe you,” he shot out.

  “I have the test I took at the doctor’s office.” She fished around in her large handbag. “It’s still very early days, Luna, so I would appreciate your discretion on this happy occasion.”

  “I don’t want to see it!” Cayetano didn’t dare look at the little white stick that María had produced. “Even if you are pregnant, how do I know it’s mine? You’re seeing someone else.”

  “It’s fate,” María said.

  “There’s no such thing as fate.” Cayetano looked over at Luna. He had tried to convince her that fate was real.

  “No, there’s not,” Luna replied. “But history can repeat itself.” She turned and opened the glass doors to the living room. “Come on, boys, we’re going home now.”

  “No, no, no, no, no,” Cayetano begged as he grabbed Luna by the arm. “Please, no, please don’t leave me.”

  “There are things going on here that have nothing to do with me, and certainly nothing to do with my boys.”

  Cayetano let Luna go. “María, get out.” He turned and opened the front door with force.

  “You would toss me out, pregnant with your baby?”

  “Even if I believed you, it would make no difference. I will never love you. Don’t make me throw you out.”

  María dragged herself into the doorway and turned back. “I will come and see you tomorrow, when you have calmed down.”

  “I will never calm down. Don’t ever talk to me again!”

  “But…”

  She got cut off when the door slammed in her face. Cayetano turned to find Luna with the boys. “Please, don’t leave. What are you going to do? Drive all the way home now?”

  “It’s 350 kilometres. It’s not that far,” Luna snapped.

  “So, what? You just give up on me, just like that? Again?”

  Luna paused while she watched the boys pull their shoes on. She grabbed their coats off the rack. “No, but I can’t have this conversation in front of the kids.”

  “Then let’s sit down, and talk about it later.”

  “How many elephants do we need in the room?” she cried. “If she wasn’t pregnant, were you even going to tell me that you and her…” she glanced at the kids’ innocent faces, “were together?”

  “Yes… but…” he gestured in the general direction Giacomo and Enzo. Jesus Christ, this was hard with them in earshot. It was probably the reason she hadn’t spit in his face with disgust. Her expression suggested she wanted to. “Everything was going so well.”

  “We were only apart for a month. That’s all it took for you to cheat on me? Were we even apart? ”

  “I thought so… I don’t know! Luna, please, it was nothing!”

  “It was something! Something I can’t get my head around right now. When was this?”

  Cayetano glanced at the boys. “You rang me, and I asked you to marry me… and you said no. You said no! I was angry, and drinking…”

  “You told me that you loved me.”

  “I did! I do!”

  “But to do that when I said no… I said no for a very good reason!”

  “And today, just now, you said yes!”

  “Maybe we’re cursed. The first Luna and Cayetano couldn’t work it out over an accidental baby, and maybe we can’t either.”

  “Why not?”

  Luna opened the door and gestured to the boys to head out into the hallway. “Because I feel like a fool. I was just sitting there with you, and I told you something intensely private about my father and my husband. Now I’m not sure I can trust you.”

  “I thought we were staying the night,” Enzo said as he and his brother stepped into the cold hallway with their mother.

  “We can’t,” she replied.

  “You can!” Cayetano said. “I’ll beg if you want me to!”

  “Please don’t make a scene in front of my kids.” Her eyes were filled with tears, but she refused to let them go.

  “What do you want me to do? Please, anything.”

  “You offered nobility. I want noble. What you’ve done is the exact opposite. What I need is space. Boys, say goodbye to Cayetano.”

  Cayetano stood helplessly in the doorway to his apartment and watched the group walk away. The twins waved goodbye with sad faces, until they disappeared down the stairs and out of sight. He gripped his cane tight in his hand; there was no point in running after her. Don’t make a scene, she said. The boys looked confused enough already. Everything he wanted was gone, just like it had happened to his namesake years ago. And he knew he deserved it.

  32

  Valencia, España ~ Diciembre de 2009

  When things went wrong for Luna, she tried to take heart in the fact that things could be worse. It rarely helped. It was okay to be upset, or angry, or both. Screw being grateful for all you have. Luna was upset. Very upset. She drove home at high speed to Valencia, her foot hard on the accelerator along the A3 that took her through Castile-La Mancha and back to her home region. Although there was plenty to see out there during the day, in the dark she had her eyes forward the entire time, briskly overtaking people who moved along at regular speeds. Luna just wanted to get as far away from Madrid as possible. If she didn’t live right on the coast, she probably would have kept driving. The boys sat in the back, and dozed most of the way, which allowed her to let silent tears roll down her face without any questions asked.

  From the most crucial things, like raising sons without a father, to minor things, like getting two children out of the car in the parking garage and up to the apartment while they were asleep, Luna was convinced that children needed two parents. Struggling with the boys up to the apartment in the cold was just one more little reminder that she had to live her life alone. Like she needed a reminder. She carried the children into their room, and barely got them to stand to take off their shoes and coats before they both crawled into their beds still fully clothed. No matter. It may have been midnight, but they were safe and home in bed. Eight hours in the car was a long way for anyone in a day, let alone a child that age.

  Luna sighed a breath of relief when she closed their bedroom door. The apartment was totally dark, except for the kitchen light. Darren had been vague about his weekend plans, and he must have gone out and left the light on. Luna shuffled her way to the kitchen and frowned. On the floor was a black bra. Luna never bought anything in black, she used bright colours to hide her despondent moods. She picked it up and looked at it. C cup. Two sizes too small for her. She turned, and there stood Darren, shirtless.

  “I know you gained weight, but I don’t think you need
a C cup,” she said to him.

  “I didn’t know you were coming home tonight. You said you were staying in Madrid. Are you okay?”

  “You have a girl in your room, don’t you? Did you strip her down in the kitchen?”

  “Like I said, I thought you wouldn’t be back.” Darren reached out for the bra and Luna tossed it to him.

  “Hygiene, Darren. No sex in the kitchen.”

  “We’ve all done it.”

  “I know. But if you want awkward position sex, use the vanity in your bathroom, not the kitchen counter.”

  “It’s not like that,” he chuckled. “I swear. We were only talking in here, and then things…”

  “Got fun? It’s okay, everyone needs to get laid. Just make better choices about who you sleep with than I do. And keep the noise down, the boys are asleep.”

  “I’ll send her home.”

  “No, it’s okay.”

  “Are you all right? You look as if you’ve been bawling.”

  “I have been.” Luna rubbed her tired face. “I don’t think you would believe me if I told you what’s been happening. In fact, I couldn’t tell you, because I’ve failed to mention so many things that it wouldn’t make any sense.”

  “Look, I will tell Lucía to go home, and…”

  “Lucía, as in our babysitter, Lucía? Who lives across the hall? Did you fuck the babysitter? She’s 20.” Luna shook her head. “I’m not surprised. Thank you for lightening the mood.”

  “She came over because she had some plumbing problem, and she wanted to see if we had the same issue…”

  “And let me guess, you let her inspect your pipes?”

  Darren had gone red in the face. “Oh don’t tease,” he moaned, and tried not to laugh.” I just… it… a man needs to take a moment to be satisfied.”

  “Don’t I know it! You’re all as untrustworthy as each other. Go back to your lady friend. I will take a bottle of wine and some headphones to bed. Just don’t wake the kids.”

  “No, no, I will ask her to go. It’s fine, she understands that it’s your home…”

  “It’s your home, too… what do you mean? You have brought her in here before, haven’t you?”

  Darren shrugged in an attempt to suppress a smile. “It’s a casual thing.”

  “For how long?”

  “About a year.”

  “A year! Why can’t men just be honest about who they fuck?”

  “It’s every few months or so, when her boyfriend is away in Salamanca.”

  “Does he go away, and you and her lie in bed and talk about what… school? It’s that easy is it, just wait until poor Diego’s back is turned so you and her can get to quick sex?”

  “Stop with the jokes.” He reached out for her. “You need a hug.”

  “I don’t know where you’ve been. Don’t touch me.”

  “Actually yeah, I should wash my hands first.”

  “Gross. Please let me wallow in my misery. Go back aiding Lucía’s desire to be a cheating whore.”

  Darren disappeared, bra in hand, and Luna turned her attention to a bottle of wine in the fridge. Why bother with a glass when she could slurp it out of the bottle, just like she used to after Fabrizio died? Cayetano shouldn’t be able to hurt her as much as he did. After what life had already dealt her, Cayetano turning out to be cheater shouldn’t hurt as much as it did. She took the bottle of wine and wandered into the living room and slumped down the couch. Only a few moments later, Darren reappeared, this time dressed, with young Lucía behind him.

  “You don’t have to leave because I’m home,” Luna said across the room to her, and didn’t bother to get up. “But I won’t keep your secrets for you either.”

  “No, Luna, I’ll go.” The girl looked almost afraid. “I’m sorry.”

  Darren saw Lucía out and came back into the living room. “I reckon she thinks we had an affair behind your back.”

  “Trust me, I know what that feels like.”

  “What happened, Lulu?”

  Luna sat still for a moment, and then burst into heavy tears, and Darren sat down next to her. She cried often, but this was a deep, heavy pain that wouldn’t go away, and she knew it.

  ~~~

  The hangover. The punishment for making alcohol related decisions late at night, then amplified by the sound of happy children waiting for attention the next day. Luna needed to shake it off, and she knew exactly where she wanted to do it. Hours of drinking and crying on the couch as she poured out all the details of the last few months to Darren had been a fitting yet miserable end to an awful day. Now she had to avoid her phone, because it had rung eight times, all from Cayetano. The man was hell-bent on explaining himself, or apologising, or something. Luna didn’t want to listen to his messages. He had slept with María and hadn’t told her. When they first met, he had lied about who he was, and that he was married. Now he had slept with María. A pattern of lying had emerged.

  Luna and the boys drove Darren to the airport, his time in Australia with his family had come. He had been reluctant to go, given that things at home were so difficult. But it wasn’t his problem, it was Luna’s. She had created this mess, and she needed to fix it. They needed time apart, things were still very awkward between them.

  The threesome didn’t go home, and instead Luna headed straight for the mountains. As sharp and argumentative as Alejandro was, she liked him. He offered a window into the past that wouldn’t be around to look through for much longer. Escondrijo offered an opportunity for a new way of life, one Luna needed and deserved. All this sitting around worrying and crying over men wasn’t who she was, and she was tired of it.

  It was cold at Escondrijo. The sky was clouded over, Valencia’s characteristic blue sky hidden behind the threat of precious rain. Maybe even snow. When Luna pulled her car up outside the main house, Alejandro was just coming towards them, his arms full with chopped wood.

  “Back so soon, la chispa,” he said as he walked over. “I thought maybe you had all you ever needed to know from me.”

  “You won’t get rid of me that easy.” She turned to pull the back door of the car open for the twins to get out.

  Alejandro looked in amazement at the two quiet and well-dressed children that climbed out the car. “Pelirrojo!” he exclaimed. “It looks like Scarlett is alive in your family’s looks.”

  “It doesn’t come any redder than this.” Luna ran her hands through Enzo’s hair. “You should have seen the look on their father’s face when they were born.”

  “I can imagine.” Alejandro grinned, the first time Luna had seen him in anything less than a frown. “Come inside, it’s cold out here.”

  As they wandered in, Giacomo asked, “Mummy, why are we here?”

  “I hoped we could live here, if this man will let us,” Luna replied.

  “I haven’t decided if you are up to the job,” Alejandro remarked.

  The fire was on in the corner of the room, and the boys both went over to the warmth and sat down. There was something about an open fire that appealed to everyone, but Luna’s motherly instinct kicked in as soon as they got anywhere near it. Luna glanced over at Alejandro; he watched the children, his eyes switched back and forward between the boys.

  “Do you need some things to burn, niños?” Alejandro asked them. The two young ones nodded excitedly, and he handed them some twigs to throw onto the flames.

  “What brings you back here, Luna? It’s cold and lonely. No place for you. I thought I told you that.”

  “Why don’t you want me here?”

  “It’s not that I don’t want you.” He gestured for her to sit down at the table. “You have a whole life ahead of you. One you could have better in the city.”

  “Then why did you live your whole life up here?”

  “I’m bound to this place. My blood is in the soil.”

  “Why?”

  Alejandro looked up from his aged hands on the wooden table. “This is where my Sofía is buried. I couldn’t leave
her.”

  “Here?”

  “After she died, and we left Cuenca, we stopped here to bury her. We knew the family who owned the place had gone to France and wouldn’t be back.”

  “Who’s we?”

  “I came here, with my sister, and the baby, and Scarlett and Cayetano. We buried Sofía and left to go to the city to leave Spain.”

  “But didn’t leave.”

  “I’m glad Scarlett got out.” He had turned to look at the children again. “I never heard about her again. I wondered sometimes, you know, what had become of her and her baby. She meant so much to me, and we parted on unpleasant terms. I wasn’t myself the day she boarded the Stanland. You know, if I hadn’t met Sofía, I would have been all over Scarlett like a rash. Cayetano was just the same.”

  “But he loved Luna, didn’t he?”

  “Oh, very much so. I was protective of my sister, our country was at war, and the least I could do was look after her. You see things, you hear things… I wanted Luna to be shielded from it. She was only 20 when I last saw her. The thought of her being hurt shocked me. I was a soldier, and it changed who I was. I didn’t want to become like our father. Juan Pablo was a cold man, a man whose ideas about politics meant more than his family. He went to Madrid to fight for the cause, and didn’t even care when his wife died. I heard that he was killed on the streets in Madrid a few days after the war ended; pulled from the house and had his throat slit on the street. He was used as an example of what would happen to those of us who had rejected Franco. I didn’t care. I only ever saw him when Cayetano, Scarlett and I went to Madrid to collect families who needed help leaving Spain. We collected mostly poor families, families who could barely afford a ticket to sail, and let them travel to Valencia with us. We would sometimes help wealthier families move their belongings, and that how we made our money. Enough, in theory, to leave Spain ourselves. But we never did.”

  “That’s a kind thing for you to do, to help people trapped by war,” Luna said quietly.