by Sian Ceinwen
Lita yawned. She knew she really should keep going for another hour, at least. She was having a problem with the physics in the game. One particular chair kept flying off the screen when anything touched it. If she didn’t fix it now, it would still need to be done tomorrow. Lita was so tired, though. It was bone tiredness she felt, so she locked her computer and looked around the office.
There were still a few people here, and she felt guilty for leaving. It was always so hectic in the lead-up to a new release, but she usually thrived on it. Lita loved finding a bug in the code and figuring out how to fix it. When she inevitably stopped the chair from flying around the screen tomorrow, it would be a feeling more satisfying than very few others.
Lita struggled not to fall asleep on the drive home; she was so exhausted. Once she was safely inside her apartment, she dragged herself to her bed and flopped onto it, fully clothed.
She was starting to drift off, and Lita began replaying her time in Chicago with Sebastian as she did. It was her guilty pleasure these days. Remembering the way he’d made her feel as he’d brought her to orgasm. The sex had been so good, she thought to herself as she smiled. It was hard to believe it had been three weeks already since that day.
Lita sat bolt upright in bed, suddenly awake. It hadn’t been three weeks, had it? It must have been two weeks.
But she knew the date. They’d had five weeks until release day the day she came back from Chicago. Now they had two. It didn’t take a mathematical genius to do those sums.
No, she’d taken two of those damn pills. She was also stressed, though. That could delay your period. There were plenty of reasons why her period hadn’t arrived yet.
Her brain started adding things up for her without her consent. Lita was tired, far more tired than she’d ever been before. She had also been sensitive emotionally—a lot more so than she usually was. A couple of times, Lita had cried about Sebastian being a dick to her. She’d also cried when the vending machine at work had run out of her favorite chocolate bar, though.
Lita had put this down to stress, but was anybody else in the office having vending machine breakdowns? It couldn’t be true. She would just wait a few more days. Her period would show up then…right?
It didn’t, though. By Wednesday, Lita could barely concentrate on her work. She sat at her desk, still struggling with this stupid chair. On top of that, her boss had just sent her an email with a list of reported bugs for her to look at as well. All she could think about was the fact she was now a week and a half late for her period. Lita grabbed her phone and sent a text to Becky. There was no getting around this any longer.
Just FYI. I’m late.
Lita started looking through the list her boss had sent her. Fuck this chair. If she could cross some of these off the list, at least she’d have accomplished something today. Her phone buzzed, drawing her attention to it.
LATE late?
Yes. A week and a half late.
Writing it down made it seem so much more real for Lita. Shit. She was hit with the horrifying realization she needed to find out for sure, and then she needed to figure out what the fuck she was going to do.
Have you done a test yet?
Ah, peeing on a stick, the final indignity for Lita after the damage her ego had already suffered that morning in Chicago.
No, I haven’t. Maybe it’s just stress?
I’ll get a test and bring it around tonight. I’m here for you.
Trust Becky to force her into action. That’s what best friends were for, she guessed.
Can you pee on it for me as well? It’ll have to be late. Crunch time.
Kind of defeats the purpose, but sure. I’ll do one if it makes you feel better. I don’t care if it’s 2 am.
Lita was bone-tired again by nine that night, and she felt unreasonably guilty for leaving. She’d managed to kill half of the bugs from her boss’s email and the chair was at least remaining in the field of vision now, even if it was still flying around the screen.
Lita had texted Becky when she was on her way home, and her friend arrived at her house about fifteen minutes after she did, carrying a bag which, it turned out, contained a selection of pregnancy tests.
“I didn’t know which one was best,” Becky admitted. “So, I got one of each packet.”
“I don’t think I’ll need a total of”—Lita calculated the number of tests contained within the six packets—“sixteen pregnancy tests to give me an answer, Becky.”
Becky gave her an embarrassed smile. “Well, this one says, ‘accurate before your period is due,’ but yours is past due. This one gives you a digital yes or no, plus tells you the number of weeks you’re pregnant. We know it’s Sebastian’s if you are, and exactly when you got knocked up, I guess. I don’t know, I panicked.”
“You panicked?” Lita gave her a wry smile. “How do you think I’m feeling?”
“Just pee on a freaking stick and let’s find out,” Becky cringed.
Lita opened the packet that said it could tell you before your period was due. Surely, if it were that sensitive, it would easily show if it was positive or negative for her. She read the instructions carefully before taking the test with her to the bathroom.
She opened the packet, pulled out the test, and uncapped it. Lita ensured she caught mid-stream urine as instructed, then put the cap back on the test and set it on the floor as she finished peeing.
Lita was still sitting there when she saw it. The urine in the test had made its way up to the test line, which had come back positive immediately. She watched with horror as the control line slowly appeared as well, confirming the test was not faulty. She was pregnant. Fuck. She just sat on the toilet in shock, her pants around her ankles, and staring at a positive pregnancy test.
“Lita?” Becky’s voice cut through her shock. “What’s taking so long?”
“Coming, just a sec,” Lita choked out.
She finished up, made herself presentable, and picked up the traitorous pregnancy test. Lita flushed the toilet, opened the door, and dropped the test on the bench next to her as she washed her hands.
Becky strode over to it, and her mouth dropped open. “Holy shit.”
“What am I going to do?” Lita asked her.
“I don’t know,” Becky shook her head. “You’ve basically got two options here. End the pregnancy or have Sebastian Fox’s baby.”
“Fuck. I’m fucking pregnant, and Sebastian Fox is the father,” Lita hated the feeling of butterflies she got in her stomach as she said it.
“Holy shit, Lita. This is insane.”
Lita remembered Becky saying that to her over and over on their trip to Chicago. She wished she’d never gone, fuck, she shouldn’t have entered the competition at all. This would never have happened.
“Do I tell him?” Lita asked Becky.
“I mean, you should, shouldn’t you?” Becky responded.
“Okay, how do I tell him?” Lita remembered, bitterly, thinking she wanted to tell Sebastian about being able to get the morning-after pill, and that she had no way to contact him.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, Becky, I don’t have his fucking number, do I? It’s not exactly easy to get a hold of either.” Lita smiled grimly at her.
“Shit, good point. Okay. Well, let’s go to the doctor first. Figure shit out, then we’ll work out what to do next.” Becky hugged her, and it was calming.
“Hey, I should post about it on Reddit. How much karma do you think I could get for having Sebastian’s baby?” Lita laughed.
“I think a band member’s baby must be worth at least one hundred thousand karma,” Becky told her.
“If you don’t laugh, you’ll cry, right?” Lita sighed.
She left the doctor’s office the next day with her mind in complete turmoil. He’d confirmed her pregnancy and given her a referral for an obstetrician. Lita’s first appointment wouldn’t be until she was ten weeks pregnant, if she continued the pregnancy. Apparently, she was
five weeks plus five days pregnant today.
He’d laid out all the available options for her and urged her to make a decision sooner rather than later. He also said to book an obstetrician appointment anyway, since it could be hard to get in to see them if you wait too long in the pregnancy to try and book in. So, she’d called and booked an appointment for August.
7
LEVEL 6 – Decisions
Your baby is the size of a Battleship peg.
By now, the physical effects of your pregnancy are obvious, and morning sickness (more like all-day sickness) will have started to set in. The tiredness will really hit you, and you may find yourself urinating far more frequently. Good news, you only have 34 weeks to go!
Becky was sitting on the sofa in Lita’s apartment on Sunday night, and Lita moaned, “I wish I could have a drink of alcohol.”
“Any idea what you’re going to do yet?” Becky asked her.
“Not a clue,” Lita cringed. “I mean, the obvious choice is there. The smart thing to do would be to end the pregnancy and forget I ever met Sebastian Fox. I just don’t feel right ending the pregnancy without ever telling him it happened.”
Becky pursed her lips. “He made his position on it pretty clear, though, didn’t he?”
“For sure,” Lita agreed. “That still doesn’t mean I feel okay about just doing this without his knowledge.”
“So, what’s your plan then?” Becky asked her.
“I’m waiting for another week. Not to put too fine a point on it, but lots of pregnancies end in the first trimester anyway. I looked up the statistics, and it’s one in five pregnancies that end up in a loss,” Lita told her. “So, why even try and get a hold of him if something happens this week?”
“Are you taking it easy at work, at least?”
“No,” Lita admitted. “I’m making sure I’m eating properly, and I even got some pregnancy vitamins and started taking those, but it’s no good having a baby if I don’t have a job to provide for it. I can take some time off after the release on Friday, though.”
Becky said quietly, “If you have this baby, you won’t have to worry about money.”
Lita glared at her. “That’s disgusting. You think I should hold Sebastian to ransom?”
“No, Lita, no! I mean, I don’t know. Sebastian’s equally responsible. He can well and truly cover the cost of a packet of fucking diapers. I don’t know what his place is like, but Harrison and Heather’s place reeked of wealth. You saw the way they live.
“They’re all lovely; fuck knows they’ve earned it too. We also saw the shit they put up with, and the price they pay is high. I just mean if you have this baby, his baby, then he has an obligation to provide for it.”
“I have never heard of a better case for ending the pregnancy,” Lita said coolly. “I would rather die than ask Sebastian Fox for money.”
“Not even to provide for your child?” Becky asked.
“You didn’t see his face, Becky. The way he spoke to me. It was disgusting. Also, shit, if I’m honest, I don’t want to raise that man’s baby. What kind of example is that? Daddy’s just off sleeping with a groupie again, sweetie. Maybe he can tuck you in tomorrow,” Lita spat it out, angry at both Sebastian as well as herself for ever getting involved with a man like that.
“Whoa, Lita. I know he was a stronzo, but that’s pretty fucking harsh,” Becky grimaced.
“I call it like I see it,” Lita shrugged at her.
“Is it possible, just a tiny chance, your hormones might be coloring this at the moment?” Becky asked her.
Lita glared at her. “You did not just pull the hormones card on me.”
“Yeah, I did. Your feelings are valid, but shit, if you plan to ask Sebastian’s opinion on the pregnancy, I’d probably shy away from, ‘you’d make a terrible father,’ in the conversation if I were you,” Becky said.
“I didn’t say that,” Lita said.
“You kind of did, though.”
Lita sighed as she thought about Sebastian. The man she’d met that night, he would probably make an okay father for her baby. She remembered the look on his face as he talked about Tomato Sauce Day, and she smiled. Yes, he would be fine.
The man the next morning, though, not even close. He had been everything she’d been promised he was in every news article she’d ever read about him.
“Let me just get through this game release, and then I’ll see if I can even get a hold of Mr. Fox to give him the happy news.” Lita smiled wryly at her friend.
8
LEVEL 7.1 – Sleep with A Rock Star
Your baby is the size of a face on a standard D20 die.
Welcome to week seven of your pregnancy. You’ve probably received nature’s boob job—well done. Your breasts are swollen and tender, but they look great in a top, so you have that going for you. You’re probably spending your days giving into food cravings or visiting the bathroom due to food aversions and morning sickness. Quite a few people notice excess saliva during this stage of pregnancy as well. Enjoy!
Lita was sitting at her desk on Monday morning. The game’s release had been last Friday and, mostly, had been fine. They’d all had to pull hours over the weekend to fix a few issues, but it was all going smoothly now, and they were back to business as usual.
Lita had already searched for the number she was looking for; it had been sitting open on her screen for the last thirty minutes, dreading having to make this call. Lita finally typed it into her phone. There was no putting this call off any longer.
“Hello, Powell Management, how can I help you?” the voice on the other end of the line greeted her.
“Hi, um, my name is Lita Ciccone,” she said.
“Lita, I remember you! It’s Stephanie,” she replied, sounding happy. “Did you have fun with the guys?”
“Oh, yes, I guess I did.” Lita knew she should probably have tried to sound more enthusiastic about that, so she added, “They’re great.”
“Yeah, they are. I’m glad you had fun. How can I help you today?”
“Well, I kind of need to get into contact with Sebastian.” Lita didn’t know what else to say, and there was a pause on the other end of the line after she said it.
“I…see. Can I ask what this is in regard to, Lita?” Stephanie sounded coolly professional, now.
“Um, not really. It’s personal,” Lita cringed.
“Right, well, I’ll see what I can do for you, Lita. I can’t promise anything, though.”
“Thanks.” Lita didn’t like her chances from the tone of Stephanie’s voice. “Please tell him it’s important, though.”
“Sure.”
Lita realized, as they hung up their call, that Stephanie hadn’t even asked for her contact details for Sebastian to call her back. She supposed Stephanie did have her details from the competition, but Lita thought almost certainly she had just been written off as a crazy fan.
Or, even worse, Stephanie might have guessed at the truth. That Lita had slept with Sebastian and was calling him with news. Lita laughed as she wondered how many calls he’d gotten from ex-lovers about STDs. She’d gotten a blood test when she’d seen the doctor about her pregnancy—thankfully, she was clean, but she would need a follow-up test in three months.
Lita was unsurprised when she hadn’t heard anything by the next morning. She dialed the number again, dreading this conversation, knowing she was going to come off as some kind of psycho stalker.
“Hello, Powell Management, how can I help you?” Lita recognized Stephanie’s voice this time.
“Hi, Stephanie, it’s Lita Ciccone. I called yesterday about getting in contact with Sebastian. I was wondering if you’d managed to get a hold of him at all?” Lita held her breath as she waited for the answer.
“Yes, Lita. Look, I did try, but unfortunately––” Stephanie started to say.
“Stephanie, it’s really important. Look, I know how I sound, like some kind of crazy-ass fan. I get it. I wouldn’t be embarrassing myself
like this if I didn’t really need to talk to him.” Lita hoped any of what she was saying would get through to the receptionist.
“I get what you’re saying, Lita,” Stephanie sighed, “But my hands are tied.”
Lita was on the verge of tears. This was fucking annoying. She knew she could get an instant reaction with the truth, but was that how she wanted Sebastian to find out? Did he deserve to hear it from his manager’s receptionist? Lita remembered the way he’d treated her. He kind of did.
Still, it wasn’t what she wanted for him. Lita decided in her head that she’d keep trying this method to get through to him. Worst case scenario, she would go nuclear.
“I wish I could tell you why I’m trying to get a hold of him.” She paused. “I don’t know how to say it, but, even if you have some clue at all…” Lita trailed off, her heart racing as she struggled to find the right words to say.
She wanted to beg Stephanie not to do that to him. Surely, she was coming close to the truth after this phone call. Why else would Lita be acting so desperate? Then again, Stephanie might get calls like this all the time, for all she knew.
“It’s that kind of important?” Stephanie asked.
“Yes, it’s ‘I want to be the one to tell him’ kind of important,” Lita confessed.
“Look,” Stephanie sounded hesitant, but her voice was kinder than it had been before. “I’ll talk to Cooper. I’ll call you back, no matter what he says, and let you know.”
“Thank you, Stephanie.” Lita breathed a sigh of relief.
Lita was on edge, waiting for her phone to ring. She decided to text Becky while she waited.
Spoke to Stephanie again. She’s talking to Cooper. I think I got through to her.
It was only a second or two before Becky’s reply showed up.
Well, that’s something. I’ve got my fingers crossed for you!
As Lita was typing her reply, a call came through. It wasn’t the number she’d just called, but it was a very similar Chicago number.
