by Sian Ceinwen
“No, but Becky is right. I didn’t think about how it would look when people eventually found out about you. I’m sorry, princess. I obviously couldn’t do anything about the women before you told me you were pregnant, but to hear you say you feel humiliated by that list, I’m sorry. I should’ve known better.” His eyes were downcast as he said it.
Lita reached her hand up to turn his face to hers. “It is humiliating, Seb, but only because they don’t know our situation. I hate what they’ll be saying about you, as much as I hate what they’ll be saying about me. You’ve done nothing wrong. Trust me, I would let you know if you had. This is all just stuff, remember? What’s important is our baby. Posso baciarti?”
“Un bacio non risolverà questo, principessa.” Sebastian shook his head at her.
Lita smiled at him. “I know, Seb. Fuck this noise, though. Posso baciarti?”
“Becky’s already angry at me, though,” Sebastian said.
Lita looked over at her friend, who was watching them with narrowed eyes but was keeping her silence.
“Shh, she might not notice. Posso baciarti?”
Even Becky laughed at that, and Sebastian said, “I think she probably will, though.”
“That doesn’t answer my question, Sebastian Fox. Posso baciarti?” Lita laughed.
“You’re persistent, princess.” He rolled his eyes.
“You still haven’t answered my question, though…” Lita trailed off.
“Sì.” Sebastian smiled at her.
Lita climbed onto his lap and straddled him before she brought her lips to meet his, and she wrapped her arms around his neck as he explored her mouth with his tongue. Sebastian had his arms around her, holding her tightly to him. When their kiss ended, Lita rested her chin on his shoulder, wrapping her arms around him to hug him back. A smile curved her lips upward as she enjoyed the warmth of his embrace, no matter what was happening, she felt comforted being with him.
“How are you two so disgustingly cute together when he’s been sleeping with half of Chicago behind your back?” Becky asked in a dry tone.
Lita pulled her head back to look at Sebastian; he looked tired and stressed. She wanted to take him to bed and forget all of the bullshit that was going on right now.
“Because we’re having a baby together,” Lita said and was rewarded with a smile from Sebastian as she continued to look into his eyes. “We’re special to each other. And it’s not behind my back, Becky, that implies it’s sneaky and underhanded. Besides, I only care about who Sebastian sleeps with when I’m with him. I know who he’ll be sleeping with tonight, and she’s the only one of his lovers that I care about.”
“If it helps, she’s the only one of my lovers that I care about too,” Sebastian said as he reached up to tuck Lita’s hair behind her ear.
“So, why sleep with the other women at all, then?” Becky asked him.
Sebastian looked genuinely shocked when she asked him this question, but Lita spoke up. “You don’t have to explain yourself, Seb.”
“I wasn’t having a go at him, Lita. I was just wondering, like, honestly. Why sleep with them if you don’t care about them?” Becky said.
“Isn’t this just a repeat of the conversation Sebastian and I had in the limousine in Chicago?” Lita laughed, shooting a glance over her shoulder at Becky.
Sebastian looked at her. “When we had that conversation, I hadn’t slept with someone I cared about, though.”
“Has it changed your opinion at all?” Lita was curious.
He seemed to think about it for a second before replying. “Yeah, it has. I mean, I’d take sex with you over any of the randoms, any day. It’s just so much better with you. Plus, when we’re done fucking, we get to talk about the baby and plan stuff. I promised not to tell you anything about the other women, so I’ll just say it’s not like that with them.”
“No, wait a second, I want to lift that rule for a minute.” Lita frowned and slid off his lap, finding that she needed to know more about his time with other women. “With the randoms, you finish fucking, what happens next?”
Sebastian cringed. “Um, well, either they leave, or I do. Why?”
“Literally, you finish fucking. You’re inside her. What do you do?” Lita asked.
“Fucking hell, Lita,” Becky gasped. “What the shit are you doing?”
“Answer me, Seb,” Lita said, ignoring Becky’s question.
Sebastian looked at her like she was crazy. “I dunno, I pull out? Is this a trick question?”
“You’re wearing a condom, right?” Lita prompted. “What do you do, Seb?”
“I get rid of the condom, I guess. Clean myself up?” He seemed really confused.
“What do you say to her?” Lita asked as a frown crossed her face.
“This is fucking sick, Lolita.” Becky shook her head.
“Tell me, Seb. How do you treat her after you’ve fucked her and pulled out and removed the condom? What do you say to her?” Lita tilted her head to the side and waited for his reply.
Sebastian looked away from her gaze and swallowed heavily. “I get it, Lolita. Fuck. Can you stop now?”
“Not really. I don’t want you to feel like shit, Sebastian, but you know the way you treat them is wrong. This list”—Lita gestured to her phone—“every one of those women is a human being. They have as much value and worth as I do, yet you treat them all like they’re worthless. You’ve done it for years, and you need to stop. I really don’t care about you sleeping with other women, but I do care about you treating women like shit. That’s not the example I want you to set for our baby, whether the baby is a boy or a girl.”
“Wow,” Becky breathed. “And you accused me of being cruel.”
Lita looked around at her. “You should probably go now, Becky. I love you, but Sebastian and I need some time alone right now.”
Becky didn’t argue the point; she just nodded, walked over to the sofa to give Lita a hug, and said quietly, “Bye, guys.”
Once Becky had left, there was silence in the room. Lita waited to see if Sebastian would say anything, but he didn’t. He wouldn’t look at her, just stared off in the distance, and Lita sighed.
“I’m sorry, Seb. I didn’t mean to hurt you,” Lita finally told him.
“You never do, princess,” he replied.
“Everything I said is true, though. Sleep with whomever you want, but you need to be able to look yourself in the mirror and be okay with the man you see there,” Lita frowned. “Why do you treat women so badly?”
Sebastian looked at her. He looked so vulnerable and hurt, and Lita hated herself for being the one to bring him pain.
“I don’t know, Lita. I never saw a problem with it until you came along. You told me it was ‘glorified masturbation,’ and even then, I was just determined to show you it wasn’t. Sex with you was like nothing else I’d experienced. We had so much fun, and it was kind of epic.” He gave her a soft smile. “When we finished, I didn’t want you to leave. So, I didn’t ask you to go. I can’t explain it. I woke up next to you, and I was so happy to get to fuck you again. Then, well, you know what happened next.”
“That doesn’t answer my question, though; why do you treat women so badly, Seb?” Lita frowned.
He shrugged. “I’m just an asshole, I guess.”
“Fuck off with that shit, Sebastian, and answer me,” she said.
“You said I didn’t have to explain myself,” he grimaced.
“To Becky, you don’t. To me, you do. You are beholden to me, Sebastian Fox, and you know it. Look, if you don’t want to answer me today, that’s fine. We can table this conversation for another day.” Lita smiled at him.
Sebastian was silent for so long Lita thought for certain he was going to take her up on her offer until he eventually said, “I’m scared of getting hurt. I always have been. Loving someone means they have the power to hurt you. So, I don’t give that power to anyone, just my family and my friends, all of whom I consider to be my
family.
“I don’t know if you know this, but I’m considered quite attractive.” Sebastian raised an eyebrow at her. “So, women were happy to see to my sexual needs. I had my emotional needs met by my family; I didn’t need a woman for anything other than sex. When we got famous, there were more women, and I started to get a reputation, which made it even easier.
“The women I sleep with are completely aware of who I am and what they’re getting from me. After you, though, it really was glorified masturbation. I’d had a taste of what it was like to sleep with someone who could be more than a one-night stand. But I’d treated you like shit when the condom broke. Worse, even, than I normally treat women.”
“Why?” Lita asked him.
Sebastian stopped talking for a minute and there was silence in the room. He sighed heavily and looked at Lita. “Do you want one hundred percent pure honesty from me?”
“Always,” Lita told him. “We’re going to have a baby together. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, we need to be able to talk about this shit.”
“Okay, well, if I’m being honest…” He paused again, then continued, “With both you and myself, until I met you, there was only one woman I ever connected with enough to be in a relationship with her. She never wanted me, though. I knew it from the start, and I came to terms long ago with the fact we would never be together.”
“How did you know she never wanted you, though?” Lita wondered.
Sebastian looked at her and gave her a wry smile. “Because she married my best friend.”
Lita was confused for a second before her mouth dropped open in shock. “You’re in love with Heather?”
“No,” Sebastian laughed. “I love Heather, but I haven’t been ‘in love’ with Heather since I was eighteen years old and she and Harrison got together. I shut off those feelings and locked that door. We joke about having sex together, and she is one of the best people I know, but I love Harrison just as much as I love her.
“My point is, until I met you, I hadn’t realized there was another woman out there who I could connect with like that. Years of never sleeping with a woman more than once, and the one time I did, the condom broke. I was bitter, and it scared me that I’d broken my rule for you, so I was cruel to you. I just wanted you to fuck off, so I could go back to life as I knew it.
“I went back to sleeping with whoever I wanted, whenever I wanted, but I didn’t want them. I kept thinking about you. I started fantasizing about you, remembering what you were like that night. I even considered seeing if I could get your number, but I was still scared.
“Then you called Cooper’s office. I was terrified but also excited when he told me you had called—the woman I’d been masturbating over for a month. I pretty much knew why you’d called. Cooper was furious—‘Did you get that girl pregnant, Sebastian? You need to keep your fucking dick in your pants.’—and it was just so similar to what you’d said to me in the limo that I lost it, laughing. He was pissed.” Sebastian grinned at her.
“The sex between us was just as good as it had been in Chicago. I kept sleeping with other women because, fuck, I don’t know. You scare the shit out of me, Lita. I told you last night, you’re too good for me, and I meant it. If I keep sleeping with other women, then it doesn’t matter if you tell me to fuck off because I never really cared. Except I do care, and you know I care.”
Lita considered what he was saying to her. “Okay, well, I told you I wouldn’t do that, and I meant it. I want a new ground rule. You can sleep with other women, but you have to treat them with the same respect that you do with me, Heather, and Ariana. Treat them like they’re human beings, not disposable fuck toys.”
“I don’t know if I can do that, princess,” he said.
“Yes, you can. I’m not saying you need to start going on dates and get a girlfriend. Just, I don’t know, don’t turf her out of your apartment at two in the morning. If you’re going to a hotel and you plan on leaving as soon as sex is done, tell her in advance. You say women know what to expect, but make sure they really do. Don’t just pull out of her and say, ‘Ciao, baby, have a nice life.’ That’s cruel.” Lita shrugged.
“Okay, princess. Agreed, and I’ll try my best,” he said with a sigh.
“Also, seriously consider seeing a therapist, but that’s just a suggestion,” Lita shrugged.
“I’ll think about it. Ti posso abbracciare?” Sebastian asked her.
“Sì,” she replied as she moved toward him to put her arms around him for a hug, and he did the same to her.
They sat together in each other’s arms for a while. He felt warm and safe. It amazed Lita that he could be so kind and caring toward her but be so cruel to the other women he slept with. She had said she didn’t care about any of his other lovers, but she did. She cared that the man who was going to be the father of her child didn’t respect women. That was a real problem for her.
Lita had said time and again that she didn’t want to change him, but that was only with respect to her and their relationship. She had no desire to try and stop him from sleeping with other women, and she didn’t want that kind of relationship with Sebastian Fox. She had a burning desire to see him come to his senses when it came to those women, though.
She remembered being surprised that she’d somehow ended up trying to change his mind on love and relationships that day in Chicago, so Lita could never have imagined she would end up wanting to try and change his mind on something that was even more fundamental to his character.
Lita pulled her arms back from around him and sat up. “Are you okay, Seb?”
“Yeah.” He sighed, then picked up her phone again and looked through the thread before shaking his head, putting it to the side, and looking back at Lita. “I’ve never given a shit about my reputation before. In fact, I welcomed it, I had no problem with Sebastian Fox, the man who gets all the pussy he can handle, and he can handle a lot.
“Then I met you, Lita. It was obvious to me, immediately, you were into me, but you also seemed to dislike me as a person. Arrogant fucker that I am, I still knew I’d get you into bed.” Sebastian gave her a wry smile. “But you challenged me. I was angry that you felt like you could judge me based on what you knew, but at the same time, what else did you have to judge me on?
“It was the first time I ever cared that everyone in the world thinks I’m an asshole. Then, we had to tell your family about the baby, and once again, I was faced with the fact I act like a piece of shit, as you so helpfully put it.” Sebastian laughed and shook his head.
“Admitting to your family I was still sleeping with other women, that was fun. You jumped to my defense, and I knew I didn’t deserve you or your loyalty to me, but I took it. So, here I am, faced again with my shitty reputation, but also knowing it affects you now as well.
“The least I can do is listen to what you’re asking of me. I will keep it in mind when I sleep with other women, not that it matters right now since we’re in the same city at the moment. I’ll also try to be more discreet too, because you don’t deserve any of this. You’ve been better to me than I could ever ask for, and I’m sorry you have to deal with my shit.”
Lita kissed him, winding her arms around his neck as she did. She had some hope he would be the man she knew he could be. People could change if they really wanted to. The things he was saying to her, it made her think he might slowly be coming to see the way he’d been living his life was unhealthy.
Sleeping with women was fine, but using them, seeing them as disposable, he needed to understand it was wrong. Hopefully, she had started him on the path to that understanding today. Lita knew there was no more to be said about it right now, though.
She ended their kiss and led him toward her bedroom, wanting to indulge in the thing that would always be good between them.
“Are you sure about this, princess?”
“Sebastian Fox, this and our baby are the only things I am sure of.” She smiled at him.
She opened
the door to her bedroom and took him inside. For a moment, she felt embarrassed because she’d never expected him to be here. Her room was a mess, it was probably a quarter of the size of his, and there was certainly no attached bathroom. Sebastian was looking at her as though he didn’t care about the size of her bedroom or how clean it was.
He took his shirt off and dropped it next to him, then smiled. “Your turn.”
Lita removed her top and bra, dropping them on the floor, and Sebastian strode over to her and took one of her breasts in his mouth. She moaned as he reached into her jeans and began to finger her. Lita grabbed on to his shoulders to keep herself upright as waves of pleasure hit her. He kept stroking her until she came loudly and moaned his name. He pulled his fingers out of her jeans and put them in his mouth.
“Tasty as ever, princess,” he smirked.
Lita dropped to her knees in front of him, undid the button of his jeans and pulled down the zipper, then pulled his jeans and underwear down to release his erection. She put her lips around him but didn’t even bother asking him to time her today. She knew she wouldn’t last long with him already fully erect, and she just wanted him inside of her too much to do this for long.
As soon as her jaw started hurting, she stopped. “Sorry, Seb, I need you too much to keep going.”
Sebastian smiled at her. “I am never going to complain about getting to fuck you, Lita. I love your lips around my cock, but I love being inside you more.”
They took the rest of their clothes off and got into bed together. Lita straddled him and eased herself onto his erection.
“God, you feel so fucking good,” Sebastian groaned.
“You say that like you didn’t fuck me just this morning,” Lita laughed.
“And you felt just as good, then.” He winked at her. “Being inside you and looking at you, huge tits and pregnant belly is so goddamn hot.”
“I’m beginning to think you have a pregnancy fetish, Sebastian. Are you sure that condom definitely broke by accident?” She poked her tongue out at him.
Sebastian laughed. “Yes, it did, but if I had to go back in time and do it again, I’d use the same one.”
