“Hi. Didn’t think I’d see you tonight. You want some dinner?”
RJ looked up from his phone Saturday night, a smile already on his lips.
Sugar had to bite back a sigh. It just wasn’t fair. She hadn’t expected to see him tonight. And honestly, she was torn between giddy happiness and frustrated tension. She was happy to see him. But she needed to tell him about Cookie. She should’ve told him days ago, when Cookie had first shown up. And now that it’d been almost a week…
“Yeah, I can eat. I already had dinner with my dad so just an order of wings and a Coke.”
“You always did like your wings.”
The woman’s voice came from behind Sugar, and she turned to see a beautiful brunette smiling at RJ, looking like she’d stepped off the pages of a fashion magazine. Tall and slim, she wore a fluttery, lime green wrap dress that looked like it’d been made specifically for her body and managed to reveal a decent amount of cleavage and still not look slutty. Probably cost as much as Sugar had made last week.
“Marisol. I heard you were in town. Wasn’t expecting to see you.”
Whoa. Sugar’s attention flew back to RJ, his expression unwelcoming. Combined with the tone of his voice, RJ wasn’t exactly thrilled to see this woman. Then Sugar made the connection on the name. This was RJ’s ex.
“I was going to call, but I figured you wouldn’t answer.”
Even the woman’s grimace was beautiful. She made Sugar feel like a frump, especially in the clothes she’d been wearing for the past five hours to work in a diner.
RJ glanced at Sugar then back at Marisol.
“I didn’t think there was anything left to talk about.” He shook his head. “We said everything we needed to say.”
“At the time, yes. But…I’d like to talk now. If you don’t mind.”
Marisol took a few steps closer to the table, skirting around Sugar as if she was just another piece of furniture. Sugar was used to it, and worse, but right now, she wanted to lean down and kiss RJ, just to stake her claim.
Which was ridiculous. She didn’t have a claim. They weren’t married. They’d been having sex—great sex, yes, but still just sex—and there’d been no discussion about a future.
What future? You don’t have a future. Isn’t that what you’ve been telling yourself for days?
“I’ll put that order in for you.”
Sugar spun away and headed for the kitchen. She didn’t want to hear any more, and she certainly didn’t want to be there for the conversation Marisol apparently wanted to have.
Not stopping to check on any of her tables, she took the order into the kitchen and jammed the order slip on the carousel. Georgie glanced over her shoulder as she worked at the grill then did a double take.
“You okay, Shug? What happened?”
“Nothing. I’m fine. RJ wants an order of wings.”
“Okay.” Georgie drew the word out to a few syllables. “Did he tell you what kind?”
“No, but you can probably ask the woman at his booth. I’m sure she knows how he takes them.”
Well, shit. Shit, shit, shit.
Every single person in the kitchen turned to look at her with the exact same expression—a whole lot of “what the fuck.”
Then in unison, five heads craned to look out the window into the dining room. All except Georgie, who continued to look at her.
“Ranch,” Georgie said. “It’s always ranch. But you know that too.”
She did. Damn it, she did. Shaking her head, she sucked in a deep breath then released it on a huge sigh.
“Sorry.”
“Don’t borrow trouble, Shug. It knows where to find you.”
Hell, trouble had her address, her phone number, and all her passwords lately.
“I know, it’s just… I guess I just wasn’t expecting his ex to show up. Or to look like that. Although I guess I should’ve figured she would.”
“Well, the way I heard the story, she dumped him. Order up.”
And she still had a job to do. Picking up a tray, she loaded it down with the plates Georgie had lined up on the counter, took a deep breath, and headed back onto the floor.
RJ watched Marisol slide into the booth opposite him and had to fight back the urge to get up and follow Sugar.
He had nothing to say to his ex and there was nothing she could say to him that he wanted to hear. He didn’t want her half-assed apologies, if that’s what she’d actually come here to do. She’d blown up their relationship more than a year ago with nothing more than a shoulder shrug and a blatantly false “it’s not you, it’s me” defense.
He wanted to go after Sugar, who’d disappeared back into the kitchen faster than he could tell Marisol she should leave because they had nothing to say to each other.
“I’m sure I’m the last person you want to see, but I really needed to see you, RJ. I’m in town for work and I can’t stop thinking about how awful I was to you. After the years we spent together, to end it like that… I’m really ashamed of myself. I just want you to know,” she reached across the table to brush his hand with her fingers, something she used to do when they were dating, “I’m sorry. I know you probably can’t forgive me—”
“Water under the bridge.” He cut her off before she could continue, wanting to move this conversation along so he could get her out the door without literally telling her to leave. “You didn’t need to make a special trip to do this.”
She blinked, a crack in her façade. She hadn’t expected him to brush her off, probably because, a year ago, he wouldn’t have. A year ago, he would’ve accepted her apology because he wouldn’t have seen the calculation in her eyes. And maybe a hint of desperation.
“Actually, I’m staying not far from here and—”
“How’d you know where to find me?”
She blushed and his eyebrows arched. Marisol wasn’t the kind of woman who blushed. Ever. “I might have stalked your Twitter just a little.”
Her half-grin might have tugged at his heart before. It did nothing to him now. Not a damn thing. In fact, he couldn’t believe it had before. He felt stupid for being taken in by her fake personality.
“Okay.”
When he didn’t offer up anything else, Marisol apparently decided now was the time to go big or go home.
“Anyway, I’m going to be in Philly for a few weeks. I’ve got a couple of modeling jobs and I thought maybe we could get together—”
“No. I’m—” He was about to say he was sorry, but he wasn’t. Not for this. “I’m not available.”
Another blink, as if she were processing that and it didn’t quite compute.
Damn, Brody would be proud of him for the snark, even if he didn’t say it out loud.
“Oh, I’m not… I didn’t think… I didn’t mean to make this awkward. I only wanted to say hello and to apologize.”
“And you did, which I appreciate.” Okay, that was a lie, but it was in service to getting her to leave as fast as she’d arrived. “But I’m sure you have other places to be.”
Dark eyes wide, Marisol stared at him for several seconds before shaking her head, as if she hadn’t heard him correctly. “I’m sorry, RJ. I never meant—”
“I know you didn’t. I’m just not interested in hearing what you did mean.”
Her lips parted as if she wanted to say something else, then they flattened. And there was the Marisol he remembered from their breakup.
“I’m sorry you feel that way.” She slid out of the booth, smoothed her hands down the skirt of her dress, probably to erase any wrinkles. As if her dress would dare have wrinkles. “I’ve never known you to be a dick, RJ. It’s not a good look on you.”
She turned and headed for the door, brushing past the girl who’d just opened the door.
Shaking his head, he turned to look for Sugar. And found her just as she rushed out of the kitchen and toward the front door. Straight for the pregnant teenager who’d come in when Marisol had left.
“
When did your contractions start?” Sugar asked. “Did your water break? Why didn’t you call me earlier?”
“Because I wasn’t sure it wasn’t more of those Braxton Hicks things. Damn, it hurts, Shug.”
“It’ll be okay.”
“I know. Just don’t leave me.”
“You know I won’t. It’s gonna be okay.”
“I think we should go to the hospital. Oh god, Sugar, it really hurts.”
“I know, hon. I just need to tell Georgie. Did you call Janine? She said she’d give us a ride when it was time.”
Sugar turned to look back toward the kitchen, and her gaze snagged with RJ’s. His thoughts had been spinning since she’d run out of the kitchen. Now his brain gained some traction and started to connect some dots.
First, the pregnant girl looked like Sugar. Sister, probably. Cousin, at the very least. Second, Sugar hadn’t said a word to him. Not one word.
Why hadn’t she told him?
Sliding out of the booth, he made their way over to them. With every step he took, her expression became more and more resigned.
“I’ll take you.”
“RJ. You don’t have to—”
“My car’s out front. You need a ride.”
He watched her weigh her options as Georgie pushed through the doors from the kitchen.
“Janine’ll be here in ten minutes. How you doing, Cookie?”
The teen grabbed Georgie’s outstretched hand and squeezed. “I don’t think—uhhhh!”
The girl groaned and bent at her nonexistent waist.
“Right.” RJ walked to the front door and held it open. “I’ll get my car. Meet me out front.”
Sugar wanted to argue. He could see it in the way her lips flattened for a split second before she nodded.
“Thank you.”
There’d be time for questions later. Right now, he needed to get a girl to the hospital before she had a baby in his car.
Ten
“Hey. Can I come in?”
Though she tried not to let it show on her face, Sugar had been dreading this visit for the past three days. Since the moment she and Cookie had walked through the doors of the maternity ward of the hospital, leaving RJ with a “Thanks for the ride” and a promise that they’d be fine by themselves.
And they had been. Baby Fox Michael had arrived five hours later, healthy and perfect and tiny and terrifying. Cookie had taken to nursing like a pro and her nineteen-year-old sister was a natural at the whole mothering thing. Which her sister had said was all thanks to Sugar.
“You were the best role model I could’ve had.”
It’d made her cry, and then Cookie had started to cry and Fox had joined in and then they’d ended up laughing until their stomachs hurt. That had been two nights ago, a few hours after they’d walked out of the hospital with a newborn and a car seat and a ride home from Georgie and Janine. Sugar wasn’t sure she or Cookie had slept more than five hours each since then.
RJ had texted a few times, but she hadn’t answered. Hadn’t known what to say, even though he’d simply asked how they were.
And now…
She dredged up a smile for the man she’d missed so much, she had a constant stomachache. “Of course.”
He took a step forward then stopped. “Is the baby asleep? I don’t want to disturb…him?”
“He’s a pretty sound sleeper so I don’t think we’ll wake him. And Cookie’s exhausted so she could probably sleep through an earthquake right now.”
RJ walked into the apartment and Sugar closed the door behind him, taking a deep breath while he couldn’t see her. She’d gone over this conversation in her head so many times, she thought she’d had it completely mapped out. But now that it was here? Her brain went blank, until all she could think about were the times they’d spent in his bed. They taunted her with their specificity, and the heat that spread through her body was surely making her cheeks flush bright red.
Finally, she turned to find him leaning against the back of the couch, his expression blank. Which was way worse than if he’d been angry.
“I guess you have questions.”
He nodded. “Of course. But first, is your sister okay? That was your sister, right? Kind of hard to miss the family resemblance.”
“Yes. Cookie. She’s the middle. And she’s fine. The baby’s fine. And I need to thank you for taking us—”
“I did what any decent person would do. I guess what I really want to know is why I had no idea your pregnant sister was living with you. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I don’t have a good answer for that.”
His arms crossed over his broad chest. “Then give me your not-good answer. I thought we were more than just casual fuck buddies.”
She flinched, the calm control in his voice worse than any curse he could’ve thrown at her in anger. “I didn’t want to burden you with my problems.”
“How would telling me your sister was pregnant and living with you burden me?”
“Because I didn’t want you to think I was using you.”
His lips thinned. The first crack in his composure. “Why would I even think that? What gave you the impression that I would ever think that?”
Her heart began to beat a little faster, her stomach tightening into a knot. She’d practiced this conversation in her head so many times, when she was walking the baby back to sleep at three in the morning or during her five-minute shower before she hurried off to work.
“I’m just not in a place where I can give a relationship the attention it needs. I think it’s just better if we break it off now before—”
Before I start to rely on you. Care for you. Need you.
“Before what, Sugar?”
It’s already too late, isn’t it?
“Before we develop feelings for one another.”
“It’s already too late for that. I care about you. I have for months. Are you telling me you don’t feel anything for me?”
“No. Of course not. You’re a good friend and—”
“Friend with benefits, right?
The knife in her gut twisted a little deeper. “That’s not all.”
“That’s kinda what it’s feeling like right now.”
“I like you, RJ. I just don’t think I can give you what you need right now.”
“And what is it you think I need?”
“More than I can give you.”
There it was. As simply as she could lay it out.
His expression didn’t change at all. He just continued to stare at her.
What did you expect?
Something other than this steady regard. Anger, maybe.
Not…nothing.
“I don’t need you to take care of me.”
After a few more seconds of silence, he nodded. “Okay. And what if I want to take care of you?”
“Then I’d say that’s not an equal partnership. Your ex—”
“There’s a reason she’s my ex, you know. Marisol would’ve had no problem at all asking me to take care of her and her pregnant sister and the rest of her family. Because that’s the kind of person she is. That’s not you, Sugar. Why is wanting to help you a bad thing?”
Her frustration was beginning to make her head spin. He had an answer for everything, and she was working on very little sleep. But she knew one thing.
“I don’t want you to be with me because I need something from you.”
“So you’re going to work yourself into the ground because you won’t accept my help.”
“We have help. Georgie and Janine—”
“But you don’t want my help.”
She couldn’t rely on him. She couldn’t.
“You’re an amazing guy. I just can’t make this work right now.”
She couldn’t keep this up much longer because if he didn’t leave now, she might cave and let him stay. And it’d be so easy for her to let him take over. And then she’d be no different than her parents.
She must
have finally got through to him because after a few seconds, he stood.
“So where does that leave us, Sugar?”
Her brain just couldn’t come up with the words she needed to say. Maybe because she didn’t want to say them.
A little muscle at his jaw jumped.
“And if that doesn’t work for me?”
She held back a wince. “You have to figure that out for yourself.”
The baby cried out, a full-throated wail, her sister’s soft voice softly cooing to him.
“I have to give Cookie a hand and I have to get to work.”
“Sugar—”
“I’m sure we’ll see each other at the diner, but I know you’re going to be busy with the start of the season soon and—”
The baby wailed again, and she took a breath, ready to tell him she had to go. But the words stuck in her throat as he stepped forward, wrapped a hand around her neck, and sealed his mouth over hers.
His kiss was a brand, hot and possessive and meant to show her exactly what she’d be missing. But she really hadn’t needed the reminder. She knew exactly what she was losing.
Which was why she kissed him back. She returned his passion with the fire of her own and heard him groan deep in his throat as his other arm wrapped around her waist, drawing her closer.
“Hey, Shug—oh shit.” Cookie’s voice barely made it through the haze of lust in Sugar’s blood. “Yeah, I’ll just go back in here and close the door.”
RJ released her, but not without one last, hard kiss.
“I’m not ready to give this up. Are you?”
She took a step back. “I don’t have a choice right now. Please don’t make this situation any worse than it already is.”
He looked like he wanted to say something else. Instead, he nodded and walked out the door.
It took Sugar several long seconds before she could unstick her feet from the floor.
“And you haven’t seen her since? Not even at the diner? That sucks. So what are you gonna do?”
RJ shook his head as he and Brody took a lap around the rink Thursday morning. Brody had volunteered to help run drills with the kids, who would show up in about half an hour.
Deadlines & Red Lines: Fast Ice Sports Romance Page 15
