“Yes.” What else can I do? I crane my neck to see if I can spot her.
He bars our way once again, his tone more serious this time. “Sir, please don’t do that, I’m going to have to ask you to back away.”
Ted steps in. “Officer, is there any way you could let us through. This is Hank Baresi, son of Guillermo Baresi…”
“Look, man, I don’t care if he’s the Pope, this ain’t Disneyland, okay, you have a ticket you go in, you don’t have a ticket, you don’t go in. Wait … did you say Baresi?”
“Yes, why?” A glimmer of hope. Finally, my name is actually going to be useful to me other than getting into a club or a bar.
“I think I can help you. I let a British girl out, pretty blonde with all the curves, insisted she had to go back ‘for love’, mentioned your name.”
We’ve missed her by half an hour. I hug the TSA guy, who is not amused and stinks of baloney, and run back to the car.
“I’ll call Jonny,” says Ted. “Wait. Shit, shit, shit, shit. There’s like a million messages from Claire. Hank, I’m going to be a daddy.”
“Ted, Claire’s twice the size of Manhattan, we know that you’re going to be a daddy.”
“No. Hey! Zip it, that’s my wife. No, I’m going to be a daddy, like today.” What the fuck? Crap, and I’d dragged him to New York with me.
“Tell her to cross her legs.” I call Jonny myself. “Man, you need to get here now, we’ve got an emergency.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Caitlyn
“You need to breathe. What did they teach you in Lamaze?”
“Fuck that, I need drugs.”
“I have paracetamol.” If looks could kill, I’ll be embalmed and buried before dusk. “Can’t we try the doggy breathing thing or something, like in films?”
“Caitlyn, a human person is pushing his way out of me, breathing will not help. Aaah!”
Claire is full-on in the birthing position and I have the worst view. Her legs are now straddling my shoulders and she’s grabbing both of my hands and breaking every bone in my fingers.
“We need to time them, don’t we?”
“Yes.” The sound of AC/DC rocks out of her phone. “It’s Ted, pick up.”
“You’re going to have to loosen your death grip for me to do that.” She releases one of my hands, and I pick up.
“Hey Honey, how are you doing?” Ted sounds remarkably calm.
“It’s Caitlyn; I’ll put you on speaker.”
“Ted! My water broke. We’re on our way back from JFK.” She lets out a mild scream and then resumes talking, with a slightly more gravelly, slightly more possessed voice. “You need to get your ass to the hospital.”
“I will, I’m … uh … we’re at JFK.”
“WHAT THE FUCK?” Oh, she is definitely possessed.
“We, uh, look it’s complicated. Jonny’s here, he’s going to take me straight to the hospital; I’ll be there as soon as I can. Uh, should I pass the phone over to Hank?”
I shake my head, but it’s too late.
Hank’s voice comes out of the speaker. “Cait, don’t leave I need to talk to you. I was an idiot. Forgive me.”
“Hank, I can’t do this here, but you were right. I haven’t been honest, I’m sorry. But it’s too late, I’ve messed everything up. I’m sorry.” I hang up the phone and put it on timer.
Claire looks me in the eyes. “He loves you, you know, don’t give up on him.”
“I don’t deserve him. I fucked up.” She shakes her head at me. I’m not worthy of this sweet man, who is still prepared to take me back, even though I lied through my teeth for an entire month. I don’t want to talk about this, I feel shit enough as it is. “Do we time the contractions or in between them?”
“How the fuck do I know? That was Ted’s only job.” Okay.
“Both,” says Ken, from the front of the car. “You need to time from the moment her belly tightens to when it relaxes and then you need to time in between each contraction. From what I’ve heard we’re good, you haven’t even really started yet.” We’re good? This is going to get worse? I don’t think my hands can take it.
“Thank you, Ken.” I mean it, what a lifesaver. I definitely need my own driver.
“Your friend is right, though, Ma’am, you need to breathe through the contractions.”
Claire starts to well up. “No, no, no, don’t cry. We can do this, right?” I Google Lamaze breathing and explain it to Claire. Hopefully, it’s going to help with the fact that right now she looks homicidal. The next contraction comes. I time it, and she breathes, and the tension in the car releases just a little.
“How long, Ken?”
“About forty minutes, traffic allowing.”
I look over to Claire, her eyes narrow and the tension goes right back up to that which you could cut with a knife. Crap.
“So really, why did you go?”
I look over to Ken, should I be discussing this in front of him? “Because Hank doesn’t love me anymore, I have no job and his family aren’t even speaking to him because of me.”
Claire’s face turned from a pained scowl to an angry one. “His family aren’t speaking to him because they’re dumbasses, it shouldn’t matter whether or not you’re the Queen of France.” I want to correct her, but I can feel the room and being pedantic isn’t going to cut it right now.
Chapter Thirty
Hank
“So Caitlyn is in your car,” says Chad.
“Uh-huh.” Ted is as white as a sheet.
“And Claire is with her and she’s giving birth?” asks Jonny. Ted pales even further.
“In labor,” I replied. “Not giving birth. Plenty of time. Claire just texted me.”
“Claire doesn’t have her phone, Caitlyn texted you.” Caitlyn is on the other end of the phone. “I see you, Enrico Baresi. Don’t text her. She’s helping my wife.”
I put down my phone. “Do you want to put some music on or something?” I ask Jonny. Both Ted and I need some thinking time.
Caitlyn has changed her mind. Is she coming back? The TSA guy had mentioned something about her wanting to come back for love. I’m still mad as hell at her for going, but at the same time I just wanted to squash her up in my arms and kiss her and do dirty things with her until she screams.
Ted turns to look at me. “What are you going to do?”
“About Cait?” I have no fucking idea.
“No, about the plastic in the oceans. Of course I meant about Caitlyn.”
I stare down at my feet. “I’ll do whatever it takes to win her back. Move to her castle, or wherever princesses live.”
He tips his head to the side. “So you forgive her for lying?”
“I guess. She had her reasons and I need to understand that. All of this depends on why she came back.”
“She loves you, Hank. That’s all you need to know.”
The urge to be with her, to hold her, is so strong. I just want to get there. “All I want is her, nothing else matters. Nothing.”
He raises his hands, punches me on the arm. “Well then, you have to fight for her, tell her how you feel. You kids tire me out with your relationship shit. Just communicate for fuck’s sake.”
I rub my arm. He’s mean when he’s trying to prove a point. “You kids? You’re younger than me.”
“By a couple of months, but relationship-wise I’m like your grandfather.” He shakes his head, and we go back to looking out of the window. He’s right though, I need to get her back.
Chapter Thirty-One
Caitlyn
“What is taking so long?” I say it through my teeth, in the hopes that Claire won’t hear it over her contraction breathing.
“Traffic,” says Ken, looking over his shoulder as we sit, patiently waiting to move forward another inch.
“The contractions are every three minutes and they’re really long, what does that mean?” I have internet access, I know what that means, I just need Ken’s reassurance th
at we’ll make it in time.
“It means I’m pulling over and calling an ambulance. That baby is coming now.” He drives us into a rest area and jumps out of the car, phone in hand.
Jonny’s car screeches to a halt next to us and the four musketeers pile out. Looks like chad is back in favor again.
The door cracks open behind Claire, and she grabs the seat to steady herself. “Ted. Oh thank Christ,” I say. He slips in behind her. The front doors open and Hank, Chad and Jonny join the fray. “Guys, too many people in the delivery room here.” Jonny and Chad back out.
Hank places a hand on my back. “Can we talk?”
“You’re kidding, right? I’m kind of busy here.” I look up at Ted and Claire, but they signal to me to listen to what he has to say. Claire starts to contract again. “You have thirty seconds.” I start timing.
“I’m sorry for the way I reacted, you didn’t deserve it, I should have talked it out, listened to you. I was wrong.”
I stare at the timer, avoiding his gaze; Claire’s contractions are getting longer and longer. “I’m sorry I lied. I had my reasons, but you didn’t deserve … one minute sixteen seconds.” I turn to look at him, “I should have told you.”
“I was so mean yesterday, so angry, I’m sorry.” I look back at Claire and Ted, their hands entwined.
Claire nods at me through her deep breaths. I can’t believe I’m multitasking childbirth and working out my problems with my boyfriend.
“I came back because I want you to know that I love you, I wanted you to hear it one last time from me. You deserve to find a woman who loves you for you. And I need the same, someone who loves me for me. Not the lady or the princess, but the journalist, the avid reader, the tea drinker.”
Hank gets up on his knees, leans over the seat and places a hand on the back of my head. “But I do, I do love you. None of it matters if you’re not here.” He’s looking the other way, avoiding whatever’s going on between Claire’s legs, but he lays his forehead on me.
“No, I lied to you.” Another contraction. Already? Fuck, it’s getting close. “All my life I’ve wanted a family, and I denied you of yours. You have every right to be angry.”
Claire lets out a low howl. This is a big one. I rub my hands around her belly. I have no idea if it’s helping, but I’ve got to do something.
“You didn’t do anything. They did. Don’t go, Cait, I can’t bear it without you.”
“It’s getting closer, Claire; we need to get ready for this little guy.” I turn back to Hank. “Why don’t you hate me? For running away.”
“Never. I could never hate you.” He shakes his head and smiles at me. “I love you. And you came back to me.”
I put down the phone, it’s almost time. I approach Hank’s face. “What if you regret it, what if–” My lips brush close to his, I want to kiss him so bad, just got this baby to deliver and then I’m going to devour this man.
“No. No regrets. The moment I knew for sure that I loved you, I knew that I was giving them up. I don’t care anymore. I need you in my life.”
Claire grabs my hand. “Caitlyn, stop making out with Hank. I feel like I need to push.” Shit, I can’t do this. I turn my full attention back to her lady parts.
“Claire, I don’t know what I’m doing here. You need to hold that baby in ...” She glares at me with the power of a thousand swords. I swear, her eyes turn red. “… or don’t, whatever feels best. Guys, do we have any towels, warm water, a midwife?”
Ted looks at me, eyes wide. “There’s a picnic blanket in the trunk.”
“God, I have to do everything.” I rip open my backpack. I have spare clothes, I’ll use them. I lay out my t-shirt and my sweatpants. They’ll have to do. “Claire, I’m going to remove your panties. Ted, any chance they taught you how to deliver a baby at law school? Ted?” He’s white as a sheet. I throw him my sternest look. “Don’t you pass out on me.”
Claire lets out a guttural roar. I rip off her underwear and bend closer to have a look.
It’s red and swollen and icky. Is that good? Biology was never my forte at school.
“What can you see?”
“A vagina.” What am I supposed to see?
“You’re supposed to see if the cervix is dilated,” says Ted. I’m pretty sure it’s quite dilated by now. “You have to put your hand in, like the doctor.”
I look at Claire. “Okay, I’m going in.” Hank makes a heaving noise and hides back behind the front seat. My fingers only don’t find a cervix, they find a tuft of baby hair. “Oh my god, I can feel his head.” Don’t panic. Breathe.
She starts to weep. “I can’t do it. I can’t. I need a doctor, I need drugs.”
I place my hands on her belly. “We don’t have any choice. This guy is coming out now. I am right here for you; we can do this, together. Women give birth to babies all around the world, every day. We’ve got this.” Her stomach tightens. “Push, Claire, push with everything you’ve got.” She roars once more. You have to give it to her, for such a tiny person, Claire’s a warrior.
The top of a head appears. “I can see hair. Oh my god, you’re doing it. Take a deep breath, get ready, just a couple more pushes.” Oh shit. I’m delivering a baby, a real-life baby.
She’s breathless, scared. “I can’t.”
“You can, I can see his little tiny head, you’ve got this.” There isn’t a dry eye in this car. Or a relaxed muscle. The tension is at boiling point. I cannot fuck this up.
Ted hugs his wife, coming to his senses. “I’m here baby, we’ve got this.”
Her stomach tightens. “Push!” I shout. The head comes out. “Wait!” The cord is around his little neck. Shit, shit, shit. My hands are shaking, I need to stay calm.
“What, what is it?” Ted’s panicking, he can see what I’m doing, but I give him my best shut the fuck up look and carry on. I slip my finger under the cord, stretching it out. “Everything is fine. Last push and we’re done, guys.”
I catch Ted and Claire’s tiny little baby boy in my Muppets t-shirt, unravel the cord, tap his little feeties until he cries then place him on her chest.
“It’s a baby, oh my god you delivered a baby.” Hank is staring wide-eyed at me like I’ve just invented penicillin.
“I suppose I did. Well, Claire did most of the work.”
She looks over to me, smiling from ear to ear. “Thank you, I can never thank you enough.”
“Oh, stoppit, you did it all. You were amazing. Occasionally terrifying, but look at what you did, you made a tiny human.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
Caitlyn
The paramedics draw up and take control of the situation. I’m in a state. My clothes are covered in fluids and gunk. It isn’t a great look.
“Want to hitch a ride back with us?” asks Hank.
Jonny looks me up and down and shakes his head. “Nah, I don’t think so.” There is no way I’m getting in his precious car. Ken announces that he’s called a car for us, should be here in fifteen minutes.
Everyone leaves one by one until Hank and I are left standing there just looking at each other, in awe of what just happened, reeling from the events of the past few days.
“I love you,” I say. Taking his hand in mine.
“Me too.” He says. “We need to talk. You bought me a workshop.”
“If a princess can run a magazine, a billionaire can renovate houses.” The minute I met him, it seemed like fate was drawing us together and it took me a minute to work out why. We needed each other. “I bought your house too.”
“What?”
“I’m sorry. When we stayed there last week, it felt so … right.” I look down. “I wanted to spend the rest of my life lying in bed with you looking at the stars. It was all part of this big surprise I was planning, but I … uh … everything just got really complicated.”
“Don’t you have an observatory in your castle, or whatever?”
My castle? “I don’t have a castle. My grandmother
left me a small apartment in Mayfair. The rest of my properties are tied up in charitable foundations.”
“Properties?” He replies, looking confused. I look at my feet and reply under my breath. “What? I can’t hear you.” That’s because I don’t want you to hear me.
“Twenty-two properties.” I cringe. It sounds worse than it is.
“Cool. Okay, what else should I know while we’re at it?” We sit down on the grass verge.
“There’s the family jewels.” I slide my hand up his thigh. “Although I prefer yours.” I’m so horny for this guy right now. I definitely need a shower first though.
He pulls me onto his lap. “And?”
“That’s it, the titles, the properties, the stupid, unnecessarily large amount of money.”
He places his mouth on mine. My toes-curl, my body melts into his and my heart heals. How can I even have considered walking away from this man?
A car draws up. “Looks like that’s our ride,” says Hank, placing his hand in mine and heaving us to our feet. “Shall we go home, Princess?”
Home. I guess this place is home now. It’s going to be complicated, but we have friends here, and maybe some family.
I’m right where I want to be, in Hank’s arms. Just like fate intended.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Caitlyn
The car takes us back to the house and after a shower and a little family jewel inspection, we both have a well-deserved nap.
A few hours later, a steaming mug of tea is wafted under my nose. “Cait?”
“Mmm, thank you.” I stir with difficulty, needing at least eight or so more hours sleep. “I’m awake.” I shake my head. “I’m awake.”
Hank is standing over me looking more than awake and ready to do something that doesn’t involve staying under this nice warm quilt.
“If you’re not too tired, I’d like to take you somewhere this evening, just the two of us, it’s one of my favorite places, I’ve wanted to take you there for a while.” He looks way too excited for me to complain and drag him under the covers, so I acquiesce.
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