by Snow, Jenika
“What’s up with you and Nina?”
I didn’t look at Merc right away, just stared straight ahead. My hands were still wrapped tightly around the steering wheel, my knuckles white from how hard I held it.
“What do you mean?” I played dumb but I knew from the tone of Merc’s voice that he already knew the answer. He didn’t respond right away, and I turned and looked at him. He already had his focus trained on me, an eyebrow lifted.
“You know what I mean, but if you want to play it that way—” He shrugged and shifted on the seat, leaning back as if he were getting comfortable.
I didn’t say anything for a moment, but the truth was I did want to unload how I felt on someone, and until I was man enough to say it to Nina, Merc was the next best thing.
“I love her,” I finally said.
“I know, man,” Merc said but we both stared straight ahead. “You gotta do something about that because I see the way she looks at you. She loves you, too.”
My throat tightened. “I want her as my old lady, but shit, for as strong as I am, for the fact nothing scares me, telling her all that scares the shit out of me.”
“I feel yah, but if you don’t just grow a set of balls and tell her, then you’re wasting your fucking life, you feel me?”
I looked over at him then, feeling, knowing his truth.
After another ten minutes of sitting in silence, Merc straightened.
“It’s go time.”
We headed inside as a group, Merc and me in front and the other two falling behind. We were loaded, packing heat just in case. It wasn’t just because we were dealing with the Killerz, although they weren’t a threat. But any meeting, any drop off, we were armed.
I pulled the door open to the bar and the stench of stale cigarette smoke slammed into me. There was an old jukebox in the corner playing a punk rock song, and the tables scattered to the right had a few people sitting around them. They looked the worse for wear, drunk and greasy, dirty and like they’d just finished a bender.
There was a woman wearing cut-off shorts that reached the crease of her ass leaning against the jukebox, swaying slowly. She looked over her shoulder at us, her hair a rat’s nest, a cigarette hanging from between her lips. She pulled it out and blew a cloud of smoke before grinning, flashing missing teeth.
We were gestured to the back of the bar, where the meeting with the Killerz was being held. And even though my head should’ve been in the game, should’ve been focusing on this deal about to go down, the only thing, the only person I could think about was Nina.
Always Nina.
Chapter Four
Nina
The next morning
I was always a nervous wreck when the club left. And although this was just a meeting, the guys had been gone all night. The latter wasn’t unusual either, but it never made this any easier.
Whenever they left it always felt like this stone was in the pit of my stomach. Would something go wrong? Would things get bad? My worst fear was that they would leave and not return, that I’d never see them again, that I’d never get to be honest with Loch.
“You look a hot mess right now,” Alexis said, a woman I’d hired in the past couple of weeks to help me get the books organized.
I gave her a fake smile and she started chuckling. I sat at the bar with my notebook in front of me, my pen tightly between my fingers. I was tapping the end on the bar top, staring at my reflection in the mirror behind the liquor bottles. She handed me this fruity-looking drink, sliding it right in front of me. It was green, with a mint leaf and a piece of pineapple stuck to the inside of the glass.
And to top it off, she added a little umbrella to it.
I lifted my eyebrow and looked at her. “Where the hell did you get the ingredients for this?”
She smiled her response, flashing straight white teeth hidden behind perfect bow-shaped red lips. Alexis was gorgeous, with a head full of fire-red hair that was pin straight, like strands of silk cascading down her back. And her eyes showed someone who was not only gorgeous, but also smart as hell.
She had a bachelor’s degree in business administration and a minor in accounting, and she was currently going back for her masters. To say she was smart was an understatement.
When a friend of a friend had suggested I think about bringing her on to help me straighten out the books, I hadn’t hesitated. Although I had a pretty good grasp on the business side of the club, our legitimate ventures could be tricky when we were cleaning the gun and drug money.
Of course, that was not something Alexis needed to know. As far as she knew, the MC was just an after-hours club for the men to hang out at when they were done with the real work.
“You’d be surprised what kind of supplies are back here.”
I picked up the drink and took a sip, lime and mint immediately washing across my taste buds. But as soon as the liquid went down my throat, I started coughing and sputtering, the alcohol content intense.
Eyes watering, I set the drink down and looked up at her. She was laughing, as if me choking on her liquor-infused beverage was the funniest thing she’d ever seen.
“What’s in this, straight-up tequila?”
She was laughing so hard she was crying. She wiped away the wetness from under her eyes and shook her head. “Got your mind off your worries, right?”
“Touché,” I replied. “Where did you learn how to make drinks anyways? They teach bartending at business school?”
She leaned against the other side of the counter and crossed her arms, smiling. She shook her head, her red hair moving over her shoulders fluidly. God, the strands were so shiny that the light bounced right off of the locks.
“Let’s just say my sorority days were haze.”
I chuckled but didn’t ask anymore. I could just imagine.
“But seriously, what’s got you so worried? You’ve been tapping that pencil for the past ten minutes as you stared off into space.”
I didn’t know Alexis well enough to be honest about the club or what really went down, least of all telling her how I felt for Loch. She was lucky the guys even allowed her in the clubhouse, but since I did most of the work here, it was easier to just bring her in.
The fact that she made drinks was a plus. I shrugged and took another sip of the drink, sputtering again. “It’s nothing,” I lied easily. “Just guy stuff.” Hopefully she’d leave that as is, because I really didn’t want to have to make up an excuse on why I was moping around.
“I’m sorry. I know that’s rough.” She chuckled, which had me smiling.
“You have someone?” I was being nosy.
“Yes and no.”
I lifted a brow, hoping she’d tell me more.
“It’s been over for a while, but living together makes it hard to split.”
“Sounds complicated.”
“It is, seeing as it’s been over for me, but living with your once boyfriend who still sees himself as something more than a roommate, makes things … weird.”
I grimaced. “Yikes.”
“Yikes is right.” The silence stretched for a while. “But life can be complicated so we just push through.”
“That’s right.”
It was nice being around someone other than a club girl. They were a different breed all their own. Whereas Alexis was smart and career driven, the club girls wanted one thing … to be an old lady.
Just then the sound of vehicles approaching had my body tightening. My heart started racing. I sat up straighter and turned toward the front door, able to see from the large picture window off to the side the two dark SUVs pulling onto the club property. My heart was in my throat as I waited to see if they came out unscathed.
It was what happened every time they left—every time Loch left. It was my worst nightmare that he was hurt … or worse.
And that’s why I’d be honest with him. That’s why I needed to tell him that I loved him, even at the risk of getting rejected or ruining what we had.
I saw
the guys getting out of the SUVs and I let out a slow breath of relief. I felt somebody watching me and turned to the side to see Alexis’ gaze on me, her focus intent. She was smart enough to probably put two and two together, maybe assumed I was in love with one of the guys, or maybe wondering exactly how deep the MC really went.
But she kept her mouth shut, which was a good rule of thumb when dealing with the MC.
They all headed toward the main doors and I got off the stool, walking toward the door, everything in me tight, ready to make sure they were really unscathed.
Merc was the first one to enter the clubhouse. He gave me a smile, something that was pretty rare for these guys, but they were my family. Hemp was next, then Chopper. Loch was the last one to enter, and I didn’t care that I was staring, knowing that everyone could probably see how relieved I was that he was here, that my emotions were clear as day.
In fact, I didn’t care what anyone thought anymore. Least of all me. I was tired of holding things in, pretending like I could just be his friend, that we could stay where we were at. Telling him might ruin things, might cause him to reject me, which would make things awfully awkward given the fact we worked together, saw each other constantly. But I was willing to risk it solely in the hope that he felt the same way for me.
I mean, was I that wrong in seeing the way he looked at me, the fact he wouldn’t let any other guys near me? He was possessive and territorial, but maybe that was because he saw me as someone to protect, family, like a little sister.
But that was the furthest thing I wanted to be to him. I wanted to be his.
He stepped through the door and I found myself throwing myself into his arms. He instantly held me, wrapping his hands around my waist, keeping me close to his body. I rested my head on his chest, the scent of his leather cut filling my head.
I’d come to recognize this aroma as safety, as my love for him.
“Well, hey to you too,” he said and chuckled. He moved his hand to the back of my head, trailing his fingers along my spine. I tried not to shiver, but it was hard. Being in his arms always did something to me, made me melt and get weak-kneed.
I pulled back and tipped my head to look into his face. At six-foot-four, Loch was big, towering over my five-foot-five frame. He was hard and muscular, having the body of a back-alley fighter, all cut and defined power.
My fingers itched to reach up and run through the dark strands of his short hair, but doing it right here, right now, would be crossing lines. As it was, I could feel people staring at us, but I was at that point where I didn’t care. Sooner rather than later, I would tell Loch how I felt, that I was in love with him, that he was the only thing I’d ever wanted.
And once I was honest I’d wait for the shit storm to start, or the puzzle pieces to fall right into place.
Chapter Five
Loch
I watched her. I couldn’t help it. The way she moved fluidly through the room, lighting up the place, had everything in me coming alive. It was because of Nina that I was here, that I kept going, wanted a future.
If she wasn’t in my life I wouldn’t care if I lived or died. Hell, I’d thrown myself into this club and would gladly lay down my life for it. And I still would, even with Nina in my life, but it was different, how I felt, the lengths I’d go.
I lifted my beer and took a long drink, watching her, unable to stop looking at her. She leaned against the bar at the clubhouse, her smile wide as she spoke with Merc. Her ass was popped out innocently, but my mind was in the fucking gutter. I felt my cock grow.
It was clear I couldn’t control himself where she was concerned. I wanted her bad, so damn bad.
But I told myself I wasn’t just watching her because I was in love with her, but because I was making sure she was safe, too.
I’d gladly kill a motherfucker for messing with her. I didn’t care about the repercussions.
I watched her grab a beer from behind the counter and tip it back, her throat working as she swallowed. Fuck, that was hot as shit. But to be honest, everything about her turned me on.
I brought my shot glass to my mouth and took the whiskey down in one go. There was a prospect who was drunk, swerving around the fucking clubhouse and trying to cop a feel from the club girls. One slapped him, which caused the patches to howl in laughter.
And just as I set the glass down, the prospect weaved his way over to Nina, smacked her ass and anger burst free inside of me. I was up and out of my seat a second later, striding toward the prospect, only seeing red.
I moved toward the little bastard that had dared touch her, who thought he could lay his hand on what was mine. I could have let it go, telling myself the prospect was new, didn’t know better. But fuck, he’d know better now.
“Don’t touch me,” Nina said in an angry voice before pushing him away. The prospect stumbled back, laughing, trying to go toward her again.
Fuck. No.
I was in front of Nina a second later.
“Loch?” she said softly, surprised, no doubt feeling my anger.
“Touch her again and see what happens.” I took a step closer. “Go on. Try it.” I wanted him to push me, wanted to beat his ass for crossing the line.
“Loch, this is crazy. Go sit back down,” she said behind me, but I ignored her, focusing on the prospect, who had yet to back down.
“Apologize to Nina. Tell her what a piece of shit you are for thinking you could cop a feel.”
“I can handle it,” Nina said again.
There was a spark of anger in her voice. Good. I wanted her to be able to take care of herself, of course, but when I was here, able to protect her, well, then I’d do just that.
The prospect didn’t speak, just smirked. He was trashed, the reason why he was acting like a fucking prick. But I wasn’t going to stand for it, and he’d find out right now what happened to fuckers who touched what was mine.
“You think it is okay to put your hands on her?” I ground out, feeling my entire body grow tense with my rage.
“She probably wanted it.”
“Dude,” someone said.
“You just signed your ass-whooping card,” another Patch yelled out.
There was a round of low whistles from the guys, all of them knowing how this would end.
I curled my hands into fists at my sides.
“Say that again,” I said and moved a step forward. I felt everyone watching us, felt the temperature in the room drop. No one would stop me. In fact, they’d encourage this.
“She—”
Before he could say anything, I brought my fist out and clocked him right in the side of his jaw. I heard Nina gasp.
I grabbed him by the throat and swung out my fist again, knocking him back and out of my hold. Adrenaline pumped through me.
One.
Two.
Three.
I hit him again and again, blood pouring out of his nose as he now lay on the ground, groaning.
I felt someone pulling me back, knew it was Nina.
I stopped instantly and looked over at her, my chest rising and falling as I stared at her. I felt the fucker’s blood on my knuckles, my hand aching as if I’d punched a brick wall.
“Stop it,” Nina said with more desperation in her voice. “Please, Loch.”
I moved away. “Nina.”
She exhaled and retreated, going toward the back of the clubhouse. I took one more look at the fucker bleeding all over the floor before turning around and following Nina. There was a round of booing from the guys. I lifted my hand and flipped them off without breaking stride.
I followed her into one of the spare bedrooms, shut the door, and felt how tense she was, how it filled the room. She was pissed at me.
“I’m not breakable, Loch,” she said, her frustration clear, her anger tangible. She had her back toward me. “I’m stronger than I look.” When she turned around I could see how vulnerable she looked in that moment.
I felt my heart race. “I know, Nina. But
I can’t help it. I can’t help but keep you close, make sure you’re safe.” I took a step closer, and another one until we were just a foot apart. “I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to you.” I reached out and touched her cheek, her skin so soft, her lips looking so red, kissable.
And I wanted to in that moment, to just press my mouth to hers and kiss her until she was breathless.
“You don’t have to worry so much,” she whispered. “I’ll be fine—”
And then I kissed her, not able to help myself, not even trying to pretend that I had any self-control. I pulled back and looked in her eyes.
“What are you doing?” She looked up at me with these wide eyes.
“Finally making you mine, Nina.” I smoothed my finger over her bottom lip. “Finally being a man and going after what I want, what I’ve always wanted.” I leaned in so our lips were only an inch apart. “Finally loving you.”
Chapter Six
Nina
This low sound left Loch, as if he was barely hanging on to his control. I was so damn hungry for him, to feel his hands on me, his teeth on my body, and his cock between my thighs. I’d thought about this moment for far too long, dreamt about it, fantasized about what it would be like to have Loch all to myself, claiming me in the way I knew a roughened, hardcore biker would.
I rose up on my toes and leaned forward and took his mouth this time. But I wasn’t easy in my kiss, wasn’t soft or gentle. I didn’t want sweet, but brutal and consuming, something that I knew Loch was.
Before I knew what was happening, Loch had his arms around my waist and pulled me in close. I felt the hard length of his cock digging into my belly, moaned at the feel of it.
He moved us backward until the wall stopped our retreat. He took my mouth again in an all-consuming kiss.
He speared his hands in my hair, tugged at the strands hard enough that I was forced to tilt my head back and accept his hard kiss. I dug my nails into his biceps, felt his cock getting harder, thicker against me. God, I wanted to feel it inside of me stretching me, filling me.
