by R. J. Groves
‘Yes, we, Tay.’ She reached out a hand and placed it on his knee. ‘We’re family. You don’t have to do everything by yourself.’ Catching him off guard, she whacked his arm again.
‘The hell, Lib?’
She leaned back, her eyebrow lifted in defiance. Hell, he could see why she and Andie got along so well. ‘That was for not telling me you’re in love with Andie.’
‘I’m not in—’ Her eyebrow lifted higher, and he bit down on the rest of the thought. In love with Andie?
Perhaps he really was. And perhaps he was more readable than he’d thought. Joey had mentioned it the first night he’d met Tay. And now his sister—
‘Now,’ Libby said. ‘From the very start. Do not leave anything out if you want this to work.’
He sobered up as the realisation dawned on him.
‘I love her.’
Chapter 29
‘You will be fine, trust me.’
Andie held the phone close to her ear, absorbing Joey’s voice. He’d been gone for a month, and she’d missed him so much. Even talking to him on the phone soothed her aching heart, but it wasn’t the same as having him there. Still, he’d done more for her than anyone could do over those first couple of weeks.
Six weeks had passed since she’d ended it with Taylor Ballin.
Six horrible, agonising weeks where she’d desperately tried to forget about him, tried to tell herself he wasn’t worth her tears, or her time. Six weeks of swapping between anger and devastation. Sometimes, she’d thought the tears had dried, that she was moving on. And then she’d remember the way he said her name. The way he looked at her. Touched her. Smiled at her. How right it felt when she was in his arms, their bodies so close they couldn’t possibly be any closer.
And she’d fall apart again.
It had never been this bad with Joseph. But, she supposed, with Joseph she’d only thought she was in love. It wasn’t until these past few months that she knew that whatever it was with Joseph wasn’t love. But with Taylor …
Was she in love with Taylor Ballin?
She was cautious to jump to that conclusion. She couldn’t possibly be. Whatever it was between them had been casual. Exclusively. No strings attached. So, why did she fight tears every time she thought about him? About how he’d betrayed her like that? She wasn’t sure what was worse—Joseph literally having another family she didn’t know about, or Taylor not trusting her. She knew which one hurt more.
She clutched at her chest, trying to soothe the ache. The wedding was today. And Libby was expecting her to help her get ready for the big day. She had to be strong—for Libby. Despite things going south with Taylor, Libby had become a steady friend. She never dared to tell her what happened between her and her brother. Taylor had told her on one of their nights together that he didn’t want Libby knowing. But the more her friendship with Libby grew, the more she suspected Libby might already know.
She’d thought that she’d healed enough to go to the wedding, but the very thought of seeing him after so long made her hurt all over again. Had he struggled as much as she had? Did he still think of her the way she thought of him? He’d never even tried calling or messaging. He was probably relieved to be rid of her.
‘You will be fine,’ Joey repeated.
‘Are you sure?’ she squeaked out.
‘Of course,’ Joey said. ‘You are woman, hear you roar, or whatever it is. Chin up, Ands. You’re strong. We’ve talked it out. You’ve decided what you’ll do.’
‘I’m not sure anymore.’
She heard him sigh. ‘I don’t want to say the L word, but you liked him. You still do. And I’m sure he feels the same way. He screwed up, sure. But it’s not unforgiveable.’
‘Why does it feel that way, then?’
‘He never told you why he did it. You never gave him the chance.’
She heard the knock at her door and headed towards it, opening it to find Harley with her makeup stash. She let her inside, giving her a hug while still holding the phone to her ear, Joey’s words still lingering. No, she didn’t give him the chance. At the time, she was convinced there was nothing to explain. She’d been so caught up in the hurt and the anger that she didn’t even want to know why he did it. But the questions didn’t stop afterwards.
‘It’s not the worst thing in the world, Ands,’ Joey continued. ‘You investigated Joseph, after all.’
‘And that ended well, didn’t it?’ she said, rolling her eyes. Harley mouthed Joey to her, and she nodded.
‘My point is, he didn’t look into you specifically.’
‘He—’
‘Through association, yes. But it wasn’t your name on the folder. It was Joseph’s. Remember that.’
She groaned, nodding again as Harley pointed to the phone and waved. ‘What was I going to do again?’
‘You were going to see how the wedding plays out. Be open to giving him a chance if he asks for one.’
‘And if he’s moved on?’
‘Then you can move on.’
She bit into her lip. Had enough time passed to be able to give him another chance? She felt her stomach twist in knots. Surely he’d moved on. Was she a fool for hoping that he might look at her the way he used to? Or was there a part of her that hoped he’d moved on, while the rest of her cried out for his attention? She just needed closure, that’s all. Joey was right. He hadn’t specifically looked into her. Maybe he’d just been trying to see if her ex was going to be a problem. But if they were casual, why should he care?
‘Thanks, Joey,’ she said, wrapping it up. She had to start getting ready if she was going to make it in time to help Libby. Harley started waving frantically. ‘Harley says hello.’ She narrowed her eyes at her friend.
‘Really?’ He sounded surprised. She lifted an eyebrow at Harley. She was blushing. ‘Say, umm … say hello back.’ She opened her mouth to pass on the message, but was interrupted. ‘No, wait. Actually … tell her … I’ll tell her myself. Call me later, Ands, tell me how it goes.’
She felt her lips flick up in a smile—her first whole-hearted smile in six weeks. Was something more going on between her brother and her best friend? She hung up the phone and eyed her friend as she started setting up her makeup.
‘He says he’ll tell you himself,’ she said, an eyebrow lifted. ‘Anything I should know about?’
Harley’s cheeks reached a deep shade of red, and she tugged at her shirt. ‘We’ve … umm … we’ve kept in touch.’
She felt her eyebrow lift higher. ‘Often?’
Harley’s cheeks darkened further—if that was at all possible. ‘Daily,’ she squeaked.
‘Huh.’ Her smile was wide now. ‘Serious?’
Harley tried hiding her gawky smile and shrugged nonchalantly.
‘Good.’
At least someone she cared about had a chance of a happy ending. Harley indicated to the seat she’d set up, and Andie sat down, envious of her brother and best friend. Envious of Libby and Connor. Would she ever have a happy ending of her own?
She’d been disappointed so much already, she was scared to get her hopes up. Still, the knots in her stomach tightened while Harley set to work on her hair and makeup. She’d managed to avoid seeing Taylor for the last six weeks. How was it going to feel when she saw him again?
***
‘You know, one day this could be you standing up here,’ Connor muttered, loud enough for only Tay to hear.
Tay felt his brow pull together, his eyes scanning the crowd that had gathered, his heart feeling like it was being squeezed. ‘Unlikely,’ he replied, letting out a deep breath.
Nervousness? Anxiety? He could pinpoint the last time he’d felt that way, and it was a time he’d rather forget ever happened. But this was different. This wasn’t because he was waiting to hear whether or not he’d be put behind bars. This was because she was supposed to be here. Andie. The one woman who’d managed to get under his skin and caused him to do stupid things. Unlike his last experience, And
ie didn’t make him do the stupid things. He did those on his own.
She was something.
Something unforgettable. Irresistible. How could he have let her leave that day? She had every right to. He knew that. He’d stuffed up, and there was no going back from it. He couldn’t even say that he hadn’t read any of it—she’d practically walked in on him reading it. But he certainly hadn’t read all of it. How could he bring himself to read the rest after the little bit he had drove such a wedge between them?
He hadn’t been able to shake thoughts of her for six weeks. From the moment he’d wake up, to the moment he fell into a restless, nightmare-filled sleep. He could think of nothing else but falling asleep with her in his arms—the first time he’d slept well in years. Her kisses … Her touch … Her soft, supple flesh on his …
He missed her, to put it simply.
He loved her. And he’d taken Libby’s advice, got his shit together, and given her time, accepting snippets and updates about her wellbeing from what he could get out of Libby. But he’d given her time. He couldn’t give her any more.
‘You nervous?’ he said, trying to shake his thoughts.
‘Shaking in my boots,’ Connor said, laughing. ‘If it wasn’t for Andie, we’d probably still be looking for a venue.’
Tay swallowed at the mention of Andie. Libby still saw Andie regularly. But he’d stayed out of the way. Andie didn’t want to see him, didn’t want anything to do with him. Today, she’d have no choice but to see him. And if he could just talk to her …
And tell her what, exactly?
That he’d spent six weeks moping around like a lost puppy? That he’d stopped himself from calling her so many times, and even gone so far as to nearly knock on her door before talking himself out of it? He’d hurt her. Betrayed her trust. She wouldn’t forgive him, regardless of what he said. But if he could see her again, catch a glimpse of her beautiful green-brown eyes and her auburn hair, maybe that would be enough.
His stomach dropped.
It could never be enough.
Not with Andie.
Not until he held her in his arms again.
He needed her. Needed to hear the amusement in her voice when she teased him, feel the tenderness in her touch. He’d spent the last ten years avoiding anything that could get him in trouble and anyone that would bring his guard down. And all he’d done was prevent himself from knowing a good thing when it was right in front of him. But as he watched her leave his office that day, an ache in his chest, he knew that she’d quickly become the air he needed to breathe, the single light in his very dark life. He didn’t know what he would say to her, given the chance. But God, he would beg if he had to.
‘Beautiful, isn’t it? I bet Libby’s happy it’s a warm enough day.’
‘It is,’ Tay agreed, allowing his eyes to scan the view around them. With the weather warmer, the vineyard had set up the ceremony outside, the hills as the backdrop, the vines leafy and fresh. He could see why Andie thought this place was magical. It was one of the things that made him want to buy it in the first place. He swallowed the lump in his throat. Everything reminded him of her.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a blur of dark purple and shot his glance towards it. His heart pounded in his chest as she seated herself towards the back. Save for one side being pinned up, her auburn hair was mostly out, swishing around her face with the slight breeze.
She hadn’t looked up at him.
Forgetting where he was and that he was supposed to be walking his sister down the aisle, he started towards her, being pulled aside after only a few steps.
‘Libby is waiting for you,’ the celebrant said.
He glanced back towards Andie, just in time to catch her dropping her gaze, her cheeks flushed. He swallowed again, mentally urging her to look up at him, to give him a sign that things were mendable between them. The look didn’t come.
She kept her eyes forward, avoiding looking at him while he walked Libby down the aisle. Refused to glance in his direction while his sister and best friend exchanged vows. And by the time the ceremony had ended, she’d disappeared as quickly as she came. And while he was being jostled around for photographs, he shot up a silent prayer that she’d be at the reception. Just a very brief moment of her time to determine whether or not he stood a chance. That’s all he asked for.
An arm looped through his and he cringed as Isabelle looked up at him through her batting eyelids.
The briefest of moments. That’s all he needed.
***
It hurt more than she thought it would.
She picked at the plate of food in front of her, not feeling her appetite, and glanced towards the front of the room. Clearly wanting to avoid the traditional seating position of the men on one side of the long table and the women on the other side, Libby and Connor had opted to mix their bridesmaids and groomsmen together. That blonde-haired tart, Isabelle, was sitting next to Taylor, practically draping herself over him.
More than once, she’d seen her lean in close, saying something in his ear. She’d even seen her take a sip of his drink. She couldn’t help but notice that he’d signalled for another and avoided drinking from the glass she’d sipped from. She registered the frown on Isabelle’s face when she realised it, too.
Her thoughts drifted back to the time Taylor took her to the movies, when she’d helped herself to his food. He hadn’t been happy about it, but he didn’t refuse to drink from the cup after she had. The thought gave her a little bit of hope. Had he liked her more than the hussy sitting next to him, even then? She wondered if he’d shared a drink with anyone else.
More than once, she felt his gaze resting on her, but when she dared to look up at him, he was talking to the people around him, Isabelle’s arm looped through his, or leaning so her dress showed off her cleavage. And when he didn’t shake her off, she remembered what Isabelle had said about having kissed him. She hadn’t wanted to believe it at first, but the way she was acting around him now, and the fact that he didn’t seem to object to it, made her think that something was going on between them.
Had he been exclusively casual with her, too? Or had he realised there was something there between them, now that nothing was happening between him and Andie? The thought that he might have moved on so quickly …
She watched as Isabelle leaned towards him again, saying something that only he would have been able to hear, and saw the smile creep onto his face. Then he said something back to her, with a hint of mischief in his eyes that Andie could see from the other side of the room, and Isabelle blushed.
She felt her eyes prickle, diverted her gaze, and took a sip of her wine—her third for the night, and certainly not her last. She’d come to this wedding with her mind set and her heart open, prepared for anything. She knew there was the chance he’d already moved on. Hell, she’d expected it over him wanting to fix things between them. She’d prepared herself for that possibility, and yet …
Why her? Why the leggy, beautiful, confident, big-boobed blonde? Out of anyone he could have something with, why Isabelle?
Anytime he left the table, Isabelle was by his side. For one very brief moment, she caught him watching her, his eyes smouldering, as if trying to send her a message. Even with a whole room between them, her breath caught, and the hairs at the back of her neck stood on end. Did he still feel something for her, after all? Then Isabelle nudged him, breaking his gaze, and Andie felt the cold air swamp in around her, reminded of the fact that he and Isabelle seemed very much the couple that night.
She couldn’t look at him without feeling the wound in her chest open up again. So, instead, she focused on listening to the acne-faced guy next to her tell her everything he knew about computers and tried her best not to cringe whenever he snorted.
By the time she’d finished her fourth—or fifth?—glass of wine, the dirty plates from dinner were being gathered up and the first dance was announced. She watched as Connor and Libby danced together, the moment
as magical as she’d imagined her first dance would be. The remainder of the wedding party joined them, Isabelle’s eyelids fluttering as she looked up at Taylor. Isabelle said something to him, and he froze, his body visibly stiffening. From the way Isabelle’s eyebrow flickered upwards, Andie was confident she could guess what might have been said.
Feeling the ache in her chest, and unable to bear watching any more of this Taylor-Isabelle sideshow, she grabbed another glass and slipped into a side room where she found herself alone. She moved towards the other side of the room, fingering the plants set in giant pots as she passed them. Her skin prickled as the door opened behind her.
***
‘Isn’t this nice?’ Isabelle drawled.
Tay felt the familiar twitch in his jawline. All night, he’d attempted to find a way to get over to Andie, to sweep her off into another room and beg for forgiveness. Hell, it didn’t even matter if she forgave him now, he just wanted a sign that he wasn’t beyond it. That he might still have a chance. That it wasn’t too late, and he hadn’t missed his chance.
But Isabelle …
It was as if she had her own agenda, like she’d set her mind on convincing him to bend to her will, despite what he told her. He’d lost count of how many different ways he’d said he wasn’t interested. Libby seemed oblivious of the goings-on around her. Good. This was her day. And when she looked back at it, he wanted it to be perfect for her. He’d promised to be discreet when he spoke to Andie. And he’d keep that promise.
‘The wedding has been successful, yes,’ he muttered, glancing over towards Andie reaching for another glass of wine. He’d counted five already. It was possible she’d had more.
He felt Isabelle’s hand press against his chest, her fingertips tapping seductively. ‘Not the wedding,’ she said. ‘This. Us. Don’t you think?’
‘Isabelle,’ he warned. How many more times would he have to tell her he wasn’t interested? This woman never got the hint.
‘I’ve been thinking about our kiss,’ she started, pulling herself closer again.
