by F. Anstey
was a bit off colour, so we puthim there this morning. And if them two got together, there'd be thedoose's delight!"
"Couldn't you put him somewhere else, then?" I suggested.
"I _might_ ha' shunted him on to the Armadillo at a pinch," he saidthoughtfully, "_he_ wouldn't ha' taken any notice, but the gov'norwould have to be consulted first,--and he's engaged in the ring.Besides, it would take too much time to move old Rajah now--you mustput up with him, that's all. You'll be right enough if you keep yourhead and stick close to me. I've taken care they've all had a gooddinner. I say," he broke off suddenly, "you're looking uncommon blue."
"I don't _feel_ nervous," I said, "at least, not more nervous than aman _ought_ to feel who's just about to be married. If you mean tosuggest that I'm going to show the white feather----!"
"Not you," he said, "what would you _get_ by it, you know? Afterbilling this affair all over the town, we can't afford to disappointthe public, and if I saw you hanging back--why I'm blest if I wouldn'tcarry you into the cage myself."
I retorted angrily that I would not put him to that inconvenience,that I was as cool as he was, and that I did not understand his remarkthat I was looking blue.
"Lord, what a touchy chap you are!" he cried; "I meant looking blueabout the jaw, that's all. If I was you, I'd have a clean shave. It'senough to put any lady off if she sees you with a chin like the barrelof a musical-box."
Somehow I had omitted to shave myself as usual that morning, intendingto get shaved later, but had forgotten to look for a hairdresser'sshop during my walk.
"You'll find a razor in that drawer," he said, "if you don't mindmaking shift with cold water, for there's no one about to fetch youany hot. Now I must be off and get into my own togs. Make yourself athome, you know. I'll give you another call later on."
I was forlornly mopping when Niono returned.]
Perhaps the razor was blunt, perhaps it was the cold water, anyhow Iinflicted a gash on the extreme point of my chin which bled profusely.I dabbed and sluiced, but nothing I could do seemed to check the flow;it went on, obstinate and irrepressible. I was still forlornly moppingwhen Niono returned in his braided jacket, tights and Hessian boots,whistling a tune.
"The bride's just driven up," he announced, "looking like apicture--what pluck she's got! I wish I was in your shoes! Ma'amsell'staken her to her room. My word, though, you've given yourself a nastycut; got any spider's web about you? Stops it in no time."
As I do not happen to go about festooned in cobwebs, his suggestionwas of little practical value, and so I intimated rather sharply.
"Well, don't get in a fluster," he said, "we're only a couple of turnsoff the Cage Act as it is; you slip into them spicy lavender trousersand that classy frock-coat of yours as quick as you can, and I'll tryif I can't borrow a bit of courtplaster off one of our ladies."
I had just put on a clean shirt when he was back again; "I could onlyget goldbeater's skin," he remarked, "and precious little of that, sobe careful with it. And the parson's come, and would like to have alook at the licence."
I handed him the document, and tried to apply the goldbeater's skin,which curled and shrivelled, and would stick to nothing but myfingers--and still the haemorrhage continued.
"It's all over your shirt _now_!" said the lion-tamer, as if I wasdoing it on purpose. "I wouldn't have had this happen for something.Why, I've known 'em get excited with the _smell_ of blood, let alonethe sight of it."
"Do you mean the lions?" I inquired, with a faint sick sensation.
"Well, it was the _tiger_ my mind was running on more," was his gloomyreply.
My own mind began to run on the tiger too, and a most unpleasant formof mental exercise it was.
"After all," said Niono with an optimism that sounded a trifle forced,"there's no saying. He _mayn't_ spot it. _None_ of 'em mayn't."
"But what do you think yourself?" I could not help asking.
"I couldn't give an opinion till we get inside," he answered, "butwe'll have the red hot irons handy in case he tries on any of hisgames. And if you can't stop that chin of yours," he added, taking awrapper from his own neck and tossing it to me, "you'd better hide itin this--they'll only think you've got a sore throat or something. Butdo hurry up. I'm just going to see the old elephant put in the shafts,and then I'll come back for you, so don't dawdle."
Once more I was alone; I felt so chilly that I put on my old coat andwaistcoat again, for I did not venture to touch my new suit until mychin left off bleeding, and it seemed inexhaustible, though theprecious minutes were slipping by faster and faster.
The great building had grown suddenly silent; I could almost feel theair vibrating with the suppressed excitement of the vast unseen crowdwhich was waiting patiently for the lions, and Lurana--and me.
Soon I heard a voice--probably a menagerie assistant's--in the passageoutside, and presently a shuffling tread approaching, and then Iperceived towering above the wooden partition, a huge grey bulk,ridged and fissured like a mountain side, and touched where the lightfell on it with a mouldy bloom--it was the elephant on his way to beattached to the lion-cage!
I stared helplessly up at his uncouth profile, with the knobbyforehead worn to a shiny black, and the sardonic little eye that metmine with a humorous intelligence, as though recommending me to hasteto the wedding.
He plodded past, and I realised that I had no time to change now; mynew wedding suit was a useless extravagance--I must go to the altar asI was. Niono would be back to fetch me in a moment. Lurana would neverforgive me for keeping her waiting.
Hastily I wound the muffler round my neck till my chin was hidden inits folds, and put on my hat. Could I have mislaid the spectacles? No,thank heaven, they were in the pocket of my great coat. I put them on,and my wedding toilet--such as it was--was complete.
Then I cast a hurried glance at myself in a tarnished mirror nailedagainst the matchboarding, and staggered back in dismay. I wasnot merely unrecognisable; I was--what is a thousand timesworse--_ridiculous_!
My wedding toilette was complete.]
Yes, no bridegroom in the world could hope to make a creditableappearance with his nose only just showing above a worsted comforterand his eyes hidden behind a pair of smoked spectacles. It was enoughto make any lion roar--the audience would receive me with howls!
I had been prepared--I was still prepared--for Lurana's dear sake, toface the deadliest peril. But to do so with a total loss of dignity;to be irresistibly comic in the supreme crisis, to wrestle with wildbeasts to the accompaniment of peals of Homeric laughter--would anylover in the world be capable of heroism such as that?
True, I might remove the spectacles--but in that case I could nottrust my nerve; or I might take off the muffler but then I could nottrust the tiger. And in either case I should be courting not only myown destruction, but that of one whose life was far dearer to me thanmy own.
I asked myself solemnly whether I had the right to endanger hersafety, simply from a selfish unwillingness to appear grotesque in hereyes and those of the audience. The answer was what every rightmindedreader will have foreseen.
And, seeing that the probability was that Lurana would absolutelydecline to go through the ceremony at all with the guy I now appeared(for had she not objected even to my assuming a green shade, whichwas, comparatively, becoming), it was obvious that only onealternative remained, and that I took.
Cautiously opening the door of my cabin, I looked up and down thepassage. At one end I could just see the elephant surrounded by acrowd of grooms and helpers, who were presumably harnessing him to thecage and were too far away or too much engaged to notice me. At theother were a few deserted stalls and rifle-galleries, whoseproprietors had all gone to swell the crowd of spectators who werewaiting to see as much as they could of my wedding, and it began toseem likely that they would see very little indeed.
I was about to make for the nearest exit when I remembered that itwould probably be guarded, so, assuming as far as possible the air ofan ordinary visitor,
I slipped quietly up a broad flight of stairs, oneach of which was a recommendation to try somebody's "Pink Pills forPale People," and gained the upper gallery without attractingattention.
I felt instinctively that my best chance of escaping detection was tomingle with the crowd, and besides, I was naturally curious to knowhow the affair would end, so, seeing a door and pigeon-hole with theplacard "Balcony Seats, Sixpence," I went in, and was lucky enough tosecure the only cane bottom chair left in the back row.
After removing my spectacles, I had a fairly good view of the ringbelow,
