by F. Anstey
in convincingthese gentlemen that the proposed ceremony is no more open toobjection than the ordinary performance, and that they have no legalpower to prohibit it. Consequently the marriage will now be celebratedin the cage of forest-bred African lions, as advertised."
Then he addressed the audience.]
The revulsion of feeling after this most unexpected announcement wasinstant and tremendous; all hearts seemed touched with generouscompunction for their uncharitable suspicions, and the hall rang withtumultuous cheers.
For myself, I could not share the general exhilaration. Thispreposterous wedding was permitted after all, and, unless Lurana'sheart failed her at the critical instant, she would inevitably be lostto me for ever! I might still interpose; indeed I should have done soat all costs, but for a timely remembrance that no action I took nowwould regain her.
She might have been in ignorance before--but in the course of thisdelay she must have learnt that I had failed her, she must haveaccepted the lion-tamer as a substitute, and, even if I were topresent myself, she would only inform me that my place was alreadyfilled. I had too much spirit to risk a public snub of that kind, so Istayed where I was. It cannot have fallen to many men's lot to look onas passive spectators at their own wedding--but what choice had I?
There was a deathlike silence as Niono slipt the bolt and gallantlyhanded the bride into the cage. She stepped in as collectedly as if ithad been an ordinary Registry Office, and the great tawny beastsretreated sullenly to the other end, where they stood huddled in arow, while the Rev. Ninian, mounting his tub, read an abbreviated formof service in a voice which was quite inaudible in the balcony.
I tried to turn my eyes away from the scene that was taking place inthat grim cage, and the two figures that were so calmly confrontingthose formidable brutes--but I felt compelled to look. And it wasmortifying to see how trifling after all was the danger they incurred.I am afraid I almost wished that one of the animals would give sometrouble--I don't mean of course by any actual attack--but by justenough display of ferocity to make Lurana understand what they _might_do.
But they never even attempted to cross the pole which had been thrustacross the cage as a barrier. I was never told there _would_ be apole! They looked on, mystified--as well they might be--by proceedingsto which they were totally unaccustomed, but still impressed, andsleepily solemn. Even the tiger behaved with irreproachable decorum.
I understood then what Onion had been careful not to mention; theirfood had been doctored in some way. If I had only known! _Anybody_could beard a hocussed lion!
And soon the words which made that couple man and wife werepronounced, or rather mumbled--for the Rev. Ninian would have beennone the worse for a course of lessons from old Polkinghorne--and thenewly-wedded pair came out of the cage without so much as a scratch,to the triumphant blare of the "Wedding March." There was franticapplause as the Professor embraced the bride with an emotion thatstruck me as overdone, while the Rev. Ninian, Miss Rakestraw, andChuck, offered their congratulations and Mr Sawkins presented thehappy couple with a silver biscuit-box (it may have beenelectro-plated), and a Tantalus spirit case.
But for that unfortunate slip of the razor, those gifts would havebeen mine--but I was in no mood to think of that just then, when I hadlost what was so infinitely more precious.
I looked on dully till the party left the arena, declining withexcellent taste to return in answer to repeated calls and bow theiracknowledgments, and then, as the electric lights were hoisted upagain and the elephant was led in to remove the lion's cage, I thoughtit was time to go.
It was all over; there was nothing to stay for now, and most of thepeople were leaving, so I joined the crowd which streamed down thestaircase and along the broad passage to the main exit. Once in theopen air, I hurried blindly past the flaring shops in the High Street,neither knowing nor caring where I was going, with only one thoughtpossessing my numbed brain--how different it might all have been ifonly things had happened otherwise!
Wherever I looked I saw Lurana's lovely scornful face and flashingeyes painted with torturing vividness on the murky air. How flat andstale all existence would be for me henceforth! Life with Lurana mightnot have been all sunshine; it might have had its storms, even itstempests--but at least it would never have been dull!
I cursed the treachery which had induced her to link herself for lifewith a lion-tamer. Happy, I knew she could not be, for of one thing Iwas confident--she loved me; not perhaps with the passionatesingle-hearted devotion I felt for her, but still with a love shewould never feel for any other. Perhaps she was already beginning torepent her desertion of me, and wishing she could undo that rashirrevocable act.
I was pounding up Highgate Hill, with no object beyond escaping byactive motion the demons of recollection and regret that hauntedme--when suddenly, as I gained the top of the hill, a thought struckme. _Was_ the act irrevocable after all? Was it so absolutely certainthat this Onion had the legal right to claim her as his wife?
He had certainly personated me. Had he borrowed, not only my frockcoat, and trousers, but also my name for the ceremony? If he had, andif Lurana was, as she could hardly help being, aware of the fact, itdid not require much acquaintance with the law to know that there wasa chance, at all events, of getting the Court to declare the marriagenull and void.
But he might have been married in his own name; I could not tell,owing to the indistinctness of Mr Skipworth's utterance, only Luranaor those in their immediate neighbourhood could say. I must know thatfirst; I must examine the register, if there was one, and then, if--ifLurana wished to be saved, I might be able to save her.
I knew that a sort of wedding high-tea had been prepared at CanonburySquare, where the whole party would be assembled by this time, and Ihurried back to Canonbury Square as fast as the tramcar would take me.My blood was roused; she would not be Niono's if I could prevent it. Iwould snatch her from him, even if I had to do so across thewedding-cake!
But when I reached the well-known door and raised the familiarknocker--a fist clutching a cast-iron wreath--in my trembling fingers,there were no sounds of festivity within; the house was dark anddeserted.
I waited in the bitter January air; the street lamp opposite--theidentical one under which Lurana had first agreed to marryme--flickered at every gust of the night wind, as though troubled onmy account. They must have transferred the feast to the Circus, or tosome adjacent restaurant; evidently there was no one there.
I was just turning hopelessly away, when I heard the bolt beingwithdrawn, and the door was opened by a maid.
"Where is your mistress?" I asked breathlessly. I could not bringmyself to ask for Lurana as Mrs Onion.
"In the drawing-room, upstairs," was the unexpected reply, "with the'istericks."
So long as she was not with Niono, I cared little; I bounded up, andfound her alone.
As I entered, she raised her flushed, tear-stained face from theshabby sofa on which she had thrown herself. "Go away!" she cried,"why do you come near me now? You have no right--do you hear?--noright!"
"I know," I said humbly enough, "I deserve this, no doubt; and yet, ifyou knew all, you would find excuses for me, Lurana!"
"None, Theodore," she said; "if you had really loved me, you wouldnever have deserted me!"
"I could not help myself," I retorted; "and really, Lurana, if itcomes to desertion----!"
"Ah, what is the use of wrangling about whose fault it was," shemoaned, "now, when we have both wrecked our lives! At least, I knowI've wrecked _mine_! Why was I so insane as to set my heart on ourbeing married in a den of disgusting lions? If you had only beenfirmer, Theodore, instead of giving way as you did!"
"At least it was not cowardice," I said. "When I show you the state ofmy chin----"
"Theodore!" she cried, with a little scream, "you are hurt! Tell me;was it the tiger?"
"It was not the tiger," I said. "Never mind that now. I was betrayedby that infernal Onion, Lurana. I never knew till it was too late--you_do_ believe me
, don't you?"
"I do; we were both deceived, Theodore. I should never have acted as Idid if that horrid Frenchwoman hadn't told me--Oh, _what_ would I notgive if all this had never been?"
"If you are truly sincere," I began, "in wishing this unlucky marriagecancelled----"
"If I am! Are _you_, Theodore? Oh, if only there is a way!"
"There may be, Lurana. It all depends on whether my name was used atthe ceremony or not. Try to recollect and tell me."
"But I can't, Theodore. You were there--you must know!"
"Mr Skipworth wouldn't speak up; and I was much farther away than youwere."
"Than _I_ was, Theodore! But--but I wasn't there at all!"
"Not present at your own wedding?" I cried, "but I saw you!"
"It was not me!" she said, "it was Mlle. Leonie. Is it possible youdidn't know?"
My heart leaped. "For heaven's sake, explain, Lurana; let us have nomore concealments."
"When I arrived," she said, "Mademoiselle explained about the tiger,and how sorry she was it was too late to remove it, since sheunderstood I had an antipathy to tigers; and I said, not at all, Iadored tigers, so she took me to see the cage, and I--I only tried totickle the tiger, but he was so dreadfully cross about it--I nearlyfainted. And she said it was simply madness for me to go in, and thatyou were every bit as frightened as I was."
"If only you had been firmer, Theodore."]
"She had no right to say that," I said; "it's absolutely untrue!"
"I know, Theodore," she replied; "you have proved that you, at least,are no coward--but I believed her then. And I wrote you a line to saythat I had altered my mind, and did not think it right to expose youor myself to such danger, and that I would wait for you by theMyddelton Statue. She promised to give you the letter at once!"
"I never got it," I said.
"No, she took care you should not. And I waited for you--how long Idon't know--_hours_, it seemed--but you never came! Then I saw thepeople beginning to come out, and--and I went across and asked someonewhether there had been any marriage or not, and he said, 'Yes, it hadgone off without any accident, the bridegroom looked pale but wasplucky enough, and so was the bride, though he couldn't tell how _she_looked, because of her veil.' And then of course, I knew that thedeceitful cat had taken my place and managed to make you marry her!And at first I wanted to go back and stab her with my hat pin, but Ihadn't one sharp enough, so I came home instead. And oh, Theodore, I_do_ feel so ashamed! After boasting so much of my Spanish blood, andtaunting you with being afraid as I did, to think that you should haveshown the truer courage after all!"
I could not triumph over her then; I was too happy. "Courage, mydarling, is a merely relative quality," I said. "Heaven forbid that weshould be held accountable for the state of our nerves--even thebravest of us."
"But this marriage, Theodore," she said, "what can you do to have itset aside?"
"Do! Nothing," I replied; "after what you have told me, I no longercare to try."
"You despise me, then, because I broke down at the critical moment?"
"Not at all. I can never be grateful enough to you!"
"Grateful! Then do you mean to say you prefer that coarse,middle-aged, lion-taming person to me, Theodore?"
"Lurana," I said, "prepare yourself for a great surprise--a _pleasant_surprise. If anybody is now that lady's lawful husband it isNiono--not I; and a very suitable match too," I added (I saw now whythe authorities had been compelled to waive their objections to it)."The fact is, I never went into the cage at all."
"You didn't go into the cage, Theodore! but how, why?"
"Do you imagine," I asked, "can you really suppose I should be capableof entering that cage with anybody but yourself, Lurana? How littleyou know me! Of _course_ I declined!"
"But you didn't know I had run away _then_, Theodore! Why, you thoughtonly a few minutes ago _I_ was the person Mr Niono married! Perhapsyou will kindly explain?"
For the moment I was in a fix, but I saw that the moment had arrivedfor perfect candour, and accordingly I told her the facts pretty muchas they have been set down here.
She could hardly blame me for having behaved precisely as she herselfhad done, or refuse to admit that by taking any other course I shouldhave imperilled our joint happiness, and yet I thought I could seethat, with feminine unreason, she was just a _little_ disappointedwith me.
The true explanation of that marriage, if it was a marriage, in theden of lions, I have never been able to discover, nor for that matterhave I been particularly curious to inquire whether Onion attempted toget rid of me in order to secure Lurana; whether Mdlle. Leonie playedupon Lurana's fears with the hope of becoming my bride, or his; orwhether the Lion King and his fellow artist gallantly sacrificedthemselves to get the management out of a difficulty, I don't know,and, as I say, I haven't cared to ask.
But however it was, they were ably seconded by old Polkinghorne, whowas naturally unwilling to be called upon to refund the money he hadgot for his free tickets, and by Miss Rakestraw and Archibald Chuck,whose reputations were also more or less concerned.
Nevertheless, although every effort was made to keep the public offthe scent, and the circus people behaved, I am bound to say, withcommendable discretion, sundry garbled versions of the facts _did_ getabout, and altogether Lurana and I have found the task of denying orcorrecting them such a constant nuisance that I have felt compelled,as I said at starting, to furnish, once for all, a statement of whatactually occurred.
Now that it is written I have no more to add, except to append acutting from an announcement which appeared not long ago in theprincipal papers. The arrangements for its publication were entrustedto Archibald Chuck, who I think must have added the last two words onhis own responsibility.
_Blenkinsop_--_De Castro_.--On the 15th inst., at the Parish Church of St Mary, Islington, by the Rev. Merton Sandford, D.D., Vicar, THEODORE PIDGLEY BLENKINSOP, of Highbury, to LURANA CARMEN DE CASTRO, only daughter of the late Manuel Guzman de Castro, formerly Deputy Sub-Assistant Inspector of Spanish Liquorice to the Government Manufactory at Madrid. No lions.
THE END.
PRINTED BY
TURNBULL AND SPEARS,
EDINBURGH
Transcriber's Note:
Inconsistent and archaic spelling retained.
