by Voltaire
Immediately two waiters and two servant-girls, dressed in cloth of gold, and with their hair braided with ribbons, invited them to sit down at the table. The dinner consisted of four dishes of different soups, each garnished with two young parakeets, a large dish of bouille that weighed two hundred pounds, two roasted monkeys of a delicious flavour, three hundred humming-birds in one dish, and six hundred fly-birds in another; some excellent ragouts, delicate tarts, and the whole thing served up in dishes of rock-crystal. Several sorts of liquors, extracted from sugar-cane, were handed about by the servants who attended.
Most of the company were merchants and waggoners, all extremely polite; they asked Cacambo a few questions with the utmost discretion and circumspection; and replied to him in a most obliging and satisfactory manner.
As soon as dinner was over, both Candide and Cacambo thought they could pay very handsomely for their entertainment by laying down two of those large gold pieces which they had picked off the ground; but the landlord and landlady burst into a fit of laughing and held their sides for some time. When the fit was over: “Gentlemen,” said the landlord, “I clearly see that you are strangers. We are not accustomed to meeting foreigners; therefore pardon us for laughing when you offered us the common pebbles of our highways in payment for your dinner. No doubt, you don’t have any of our currency; but there is no need for any money at all to dine in this house. All the inns, which are established for the convenience of those who carry on the trade of this nation, are maintained by the government. You have found but very meager entertainment here, because this is only a poor village; but in almost every other of these public-houses you will be given a reception worthy of your merit.” Cacambo explained the whole of this speech of the landlord to Candide, who listened to it with the same astonishment with which his friend communicated it. “What sort of a country is this,” said the one to the other “that is unknown to all the world, and where nature itself is so different from our own? Possibly this is that part of the globe where everything is right, for there must certainly be some such place. And for all that Master Pangloss said on the matter, I often perceived that things went very badly in Westphalia.”
XVIII
What they saw in the Country of El Dorado
Cacambo revealed all his curiosity to his host with a thousand different questions: the honest man answered him thus: “I am very ignorant, sir, but I am contented with my ignorance; however, we have in this neighbourhood an old man retired from Court, who is the most learned and communicative person in the kingdom.” He then brought Cacambo to the old man; Candide acted now only a secondary character, and attended his own valet. They entered a very plain house, for the door was nothing but silver, and the ceiling was only of beaten gold, but wrought in so elegant a taste as to vie with the richest. The ante-chamber, indeed, was only decorated with rubies and emeralds; but the order in which everything was arranged made amends for this great simplicity.
The old man received the strangers on his sofa, which was stuffed with humming-birds’ feathers, and ordered his servants to present them with liquors in golden goblets; after which he satisfied their curiosity in the following terms:
“I am now one hundred and seventy-two years old; and I heard from my late father, who was liveryman to the king, the amazing revolutions of Peru which he had seen. This kingdom is the ancient country of the Incas, who very imprudently left it to conquer another part of the world, and were ultimately conquered and destroyed themselves by the Spaniards.
“Those princes of their family who remained in their native country acted more wisely. They decreed, with the consent of their whole nation, that none of the inhabitants of our little kingdom should ever leave it; and to this wise rule we owe the preservation of our innocence and happiness. The Spaniards had some confused notion of this country, to which they gave the name El Dorado; and Sir Walter Raleigh,ax an Englishman, actually came very near it about three hundred years ago; but the inaccessible rocks and precipices with which our country is surrounded on all sides, has protected us so far from the rapacious fury of the people of Europe, who have an unaccountable fondness for the pebbles and dirt of our land, for the sake of which they would murder us all to the very last man.”
The conversation lasted some time, and addressed the form of government, their manners, their women, their public diversions, and the arts. At length, Candide, who had always had a taste for metaphysics, asked whether the people of that country had any religion.
The old man reddened a little at this question. “Can you doubt it?” he said. “Do you take us for wretches who have no sense of gratitude?” Cacambo asked in a respectful manner about the established religion of El Dorado. The old man blushed again, and said: “Can there be two religions then? Ours, I suppose, is the religion of the whole world. We worship God from morning till night.” “Do you worship only one God?” said Cacambo, who still acted as interpreter of Candide’s doubts. “Certainly,” said the old man; “there are not two nor three nor four Gods. I must confess the people of your world ask very extraordinary questions.” However, Candide could not refrain from making many more inquiries of the old man. He wanted to know how they prayed to God in El Dorado. “We do not pray to him at all,” said the reverend sage. “We have nothing to ask of him. He has given us all we want, and we give him thanks continually.” Candide was interested in seeing some of their priests and had Cacambo ask the old man where they were; at which he, smiling, said: “My friends, we are all priests. The king and all the heads of families sing solemn hymns of thanksgiving every morning, accompanied by five or six thousand musicians.” “What!” says Cacambo, “you have no monks among you to dispute, to govern, to intrigue, and to burn people who are not of the same opinion as themselves?” “Do you take us for fools?” said the old man; “here we are all of one opinion, and don’t know what you’re up to with your monks.” During this whole discourse Candide was overjoyed, and he said to himself: ”What a massive difference there is between this place and Westphalia, and this house and the baron’s castle! Ah, Master Pangloss! if you could have seen El Dorado you would no longer have maintained that the castle of Thunder-ten-tronckh was the finest of all possible edifices. There is nothing like seeing the world, that’s certain.”
After this long conversation, the old man ordered six sheep to be harnessed and put to the coach, and sent twelve of his servants to escort the travellers to Court. “Excuse me,” he said, “for not accompanying you; my age deprives me of that honour. The king will receive you in such a manner that you will have no reason to complain; and doubtless you will make allowance for the customs of the country if there happen to be any that displease you.”
Candide and Cacambo got into the coach, the six sheep flew, and in less than a quarter of an hour they arrived at the king’s palace, which was situated at the far end of the capital. At the entrance was a portal two hundred and twenty feet high, and one hundred wide; but it is impossible for words to describe the materials of the entryway. The reader can imagine how much finer it was than the pebbles and sand which we call gold and precious stones.
Twenty beautiful young virgins in waiting welcomed Candide and Cacambo as they stepped from the coach, led them to the bath, and dressed them in robes made of the down of humming-birds; afterwards they were introduced by the great officers of the crown, both male and female, to the king’s apartment, between two files of musicians, each file consisting of a thousand, as is customary in that country. When they drew near to the throne room, Cacambo asked one of the officers how they were to pay their respects to his majesty; whether it was the custom to fall upon their knees, or to prostrate themselves upon the ground? whether they should put their hands on their heads or behind their backs? whether they should lick the dust off the floor? in short, what was the proper form for such occasions? “The custom,” said the great officer, “is to embrace the king, and kiss him on each cheek.” Candide and Cacambo threw their arms around his majesty’s neck, who recei
ved them in the most gracious manner imaginable, and very politely asked them to dine with him.
While supper was being prepared, orders were given to show them the city, where they saw public buildings that rose to the clouds; the market-places decorated with a thousand columns; fountains of spring water, and others of rose-water, and of liquors drawn from sugar-cane, incessantly flowing in the great squares, which were paved with a kind of precious stone that emitted an odour like that of cloves and cinnamon. Candide asked to see the High Court of Justice, the Parliament; but was told that none existed in that country, that lawsuits were unknown. He then asked if they had any prisons; they replied, none. But what gave him the greatest surprise and pleasure was the Palace of Sciences, where he saw a gallery, two thousand feet long, filled with the various instruments of mathematics and natural philosophy.
After having spent the whole afternoon seeing only one-thousandth of the city, they were brought back to the king’s palace. Candide sat down at the table with his majesty, his valet Cacambo, and several ladies of the court. Never was entertainment more elegant, nor could anyone possibly show more wit than his majesty displayed while they were at supper. Cacambo explained all the king’s bon mots to Candide, and although they were translated, they still appeared to be bon mots. Of all the things that surprised Candide, this was not the least astonishing. They spent a whole month in this hospitable place, during which time Candide was continually saying to Cacambo, “I admit, my friend, once more that the castle where I was born is a mere nothing in comparison with the place where we now are; but still Miss Cunégonde is not here, and you yourself probably have some fair one in Europe for whom you sigh. If we stay here we will be just like everyone else; but if we return to our own world with only a dozen El Dorado sheep loaded with the pebbles of this country, we shall be richer than all the kings in Europe; we will no longer need to fear the inquisitors; and we may easily recover Miss Cunégonde.”
This speech was perfectly agreeable to Cacambo. A fondness for roving, for making a name for themselves in their own country, and for boasting of what they had seen in their travels, was so strong in our two wanderers, that they resolved to be no longer happy; and demanded permission of the king to leave the country.
“You are about to do a rash and silly thing,” said the king. “I know that my kingdom is an insignificant spot; but when people are tolerably at ease in a place, I’d think it would be to their interest to remain there. Most assuredly I have no right to detain you or any strangers against your wills: that sort of tyranny is repugnant to our manners and our laws: all men are by nature free; you have therefore the liberty to depart whenever you please, but you will encounter many great difficulties in crossing the frontiers. It is impossible to travel up that rapid river which runs under high and vaulted rocks, and by which you were conveyed here by a kind of miracle. The mountains by which my kingdom are hemmed in on all sides, are ten thousand feet high, and perfectly perpendicular; each one is more than ten leagues across, and the only way down is over precipices. However, since you are determined to leave us, I will immediately give orders to the superintendent of my carriages to have one made that will carry you safely. When they have taken you to the back of the mountains, nobody will be able to go with you farther; for my subjects have made a vow never to leave the kingdom, and they are too prudent to break it. Ask me whatever else you please.” “All we shall ask of your majesty,” said Cacambo, “is only a few sheep laden with provisions, pebbles, and the clay of your country.” The king smiled at the request, and said: “I cannot imagine what pleasure you Europeans find in our yellow clay; but take away as much of it as you will, and may it do you much good.”
He immediately gave orders to his engineers to make a machine to hoist these two extraordinary men out of the kingdom. Three thousand good mathematicians went to work and finished it in about fifteen days; and it did not cost more than twenty millions sterling of that country’s money. Candide and Cacambo were placed on this machine, and they took with them two large red sheep, bridled and saddled, to ride upon when they got on the other side of the mountains; twenty others for carrying provisions; thirty laden with presents of the rareties of that country; and fifty with gold, diamonds and other precious stones. The king at parting with our two adventurers, embraced them with the greatest cordiality.
He made a fine spectacle, the manner of their setting off, and the ingenious method by which they and their sheep were hoisted to the top of the mountains. The mathematicians and engineers left them as soon as they had conveyed them to a place of safety; and Candide was wholly occupied with the thoughts of presenting his sheep to Miss Cunégonde. “Now,” said he, “thanks to Heaven, we have more than enough to pay the Governor of Buenos Ayres for Miss Cunégonde, if indeed a price can be placed on her. Let’s make the best of our way to Cayenne, where we will take a ship, and then we may at leisure think of what kingdom we shall purchase with our riches.”
XIX
What happened to them at Surinam,ay and how Candide got to know Martin
Our travellers’ first day’s journey was very pleasant; they were elated with the prospect of possessing more riches than were to be found in Europe, Asia, and Africa together. Candide, in an amorous mood, cut the name of Miss Cunégonde on almost every tree he came to. The second day, two of their sheep sank in a swamp, and were swallowed up, with their loads; two more died of fatigue; some few days afterward seven or eight perished with hunger in a desert; and others, at different times, tumbled down precipices, or were otherwise lost; so that, after travelling about a hundred days, they had only two sheep left of the hundred and two they brought with them from El Dorado. Candide said to Cacambo: “You see, my dear friend, how fleeting the riches of this world are; there is nothing solid but virtue.” “Very true,” said Cacambo ; “but we still have two sheep remaining, with more treasure than the King of Spain will ever have; and I see a town at a distance, which I take to be Surinam, a town belonging to the Dutch. We are now at the end of our troubles, and at the beginning of happiness.”
As they approached the town, they saw a negro stretched on the ground with only half of his outfit, which was a kind of linen frock, for the poor man had lost his left leg and his right hand. “Good God,” said Candide in Dutch; “what are you doing in this horrible condition?” “I am waiting for my master, Mynheeraz Vanderdendur, the famous trader,” answered the negro. “Was it Mynheer Vanderdendur who used you in this cruel manner?” “Yes, sir,” said the negro; “it is the custom here. They give us a linen garment twice a year, and that is all. When we work in the sugar factory, and the mill happens to snatch off a finger, they instantly chop off our hand; and when we attempt to run away they cut off a leg.ba Both these things have happened to me; and it is at this cost that you eat sugar in Europe;bb and yet when my mother sold me for ten Patagonian crowns on the coast of Guinea, she said to me: ‘My dear child, bless our fetishes; adore them for ever; they will make you happy; you have the honour to be a slave to our lords the whites, by which you will make the fortune of your parents. Alas! I don’t know if I have made their fortunes; but they have not made mine. Dogs, monkeys, and parrots are a thousand times less wretched than I. The Dutch fetishists who converted me tell me every Sunday that the blacks and whites are all children of one father, whom they call Adam. I’m no genealogist; but if what these preachers say is true, we are all second cousins; and you must admit that no one could treat his own relations in a more horrible manner.”
“O Pangloss!” cried out Candide, “such horrid doings never entered your imagination. Here is an end of the matter; I find myself, after all, obliged to renounce your optimism.” “Optimism,” said Cacambo, “what is that?” “Alas!” replied Candide, “it is the obstinacy of maintaining that everything is best when it is worst”; and so saying, he turned his eyes towards the poor negro, and shed a flood of tears; and in this weeping mood he entered the town of Surinam.
Immediately upon their arrival our travell
ers asked if there was any ship in the harbour which could be sent to Buenos Ayres. The person they asked happened to be the master of a Spanish boat, who offered to make a fair bargain with them and arranged for them to meet at a café. Candide and his faithful Cacambo went to wait for him there, taking with them their two sheep.
Candide, who was all frankness and sincerity, gave an ingenious retelling of his adventures to the Spaniard, and he confessed that he wanted to recapture Miss Cunégonde from the Governor of Buenos Ayres. “Oh, oh!” said the shipmaster, “if that is the case get someone else to carry you to Buenos Ayres; for my part, I wash my hands of the affair. I would be hanged and so would you. The fair Cunégonde is the Governor’s favourite mistress.” These words were like a clap of thunder to Candide; he wept bitterly for a long time, and taking Cacambo aside, he said: ”I’ll tell you, my dear friend, what you must do. We each have in our pockets five or six millions in diamonds; you are cleverer at these matters than I; you must go to Buenos Ayres and bring back Miss Cunégonde. If the Governor gives you any difficulty, give him a million; if he holds out, give him two; you have not killed an Inquisitor, no one will suspect you: I’ll outfit another ship and go to Venice, where I will wait for you. Venice is a free country, where we will have nothing to fear from Bulgarians, Abares, Jews, or Inquisitors.” Cacambo greatly applauded this wise plan. He was in despair at the thought of parting with so good a master, who treated him more like an intimate friend than a servant; but the pleasure of being able to do him a service soon got the better of his sorrow. They embraced each other amid a flood of tears. Candide urged him not to forget the old woman. Cacambo set out the same day. This Cacambo was a very honest fellow.
