by Grace, Aria
Missing an entire afternoon’s worth of meetings because of erratic and emotional behavior does not project confidence. I need to look like I know what I’m doing, even if I feel like I’m one thread away from unraveling.
After I check my reflection in the mirror and smooth out my hair, I grab my sunglasses to hide my red eyes. The dark circles make it look like I haven’t slept in weeks, but this will have to do.
It’s a bit overcast outside, and we’re in a parking garage, so it doesn’t really make sense for me to wear shades, but I’m not sure what the better option is here.
As I’m sitting here, debating over wearing the sunglasses or not, there’s a knock at my window.
Jackie is standing outside with a look of concern on her face. “Thank god you came back?” she says as soon as I open the car door. “I’ve got half the city council waiting outside your office right now. The city planner is pissed you missed your lunch with him, and I’ve got representatives from Saint Augustine church waiting for that photo op with the press you agreed to last month.”
My shoulders slump as my responsibilities come crashing in on me. Normally, a list like that would fire me up and give me all the drive I need to get through the day. I’m a completionist. Give me a list of things to do, and I’ll gladly check things off. Right now, it just makes me feel exhausted.
I drag myself out of the car and stretch to my full height, but it feels like I’m barely strong enough to keep my head up.
“What’s wrong?” Jackie immediately shifts into damage control mode when she sees my face. “What happened?”
“Nothing. I’m fine.” It’s not a lie. Nothing actually happened. There’s no reason for me to be feeling like this.
“Bull.” Jackie snaps with a frown. “You look like crap. You can’t go in there looking like this. They’ll eat you alive. Plus the press is waiting for that photo op. They’ll jump on you as soon you walk in there.” She tucks a stray piece of hair behind her ear. Her perfect bun is usually devoid of any flaws, but today, it’s clear she’s been burning the candle at both ends covering for me.
“Wells, what’s going on with him? What was this emergency he had to deal with?” Jackie turns her attention to my driver when I don’t respond to her satisfaction.
“I honestly don’t know.” Wells shrugs and hands me my umbrella. “We went to help that guy from last night, and he’s been like this ever since.”
I’m not sure I like the way they’re talking about me as if I’m not here, but I don’t have the energy to complain right now.
Jackie takes a deep breath and rakes a critical eye over my appearance once more. “No, this...isn’t going to work.” She snatches the sunglasses from my hand and holds them up to my face experimentally.
Apparently, she isn’t happy with what she sees.
“Shit.” She tosses the sunglasses back into the car. “I can’t let you go up there like this. Wells, take him home.” She puts a hand on my shoulder and gingerly pushes me back toward the car. “I’ll call the acupuncturist and have someone meet you there. Just...take the rest of the day to relax. I’ll stop by this evening after city hall closes, and we’ll talk, okay?”
“Jackie, I can’t just go home. I’ve got responsibilities.” My protests are weak but still true. But Jackie will win this argument. She always does.
“Right now, you need to go home and get your head on straight. You’ve been going nonstop ever since the start of the year. I don’t think you’ve taken a single day off, not even after that breakup which you’ve never fully recovered from. It’s just been one fire after another.” She sighs and shakes her head. “This was bound to happen sooner or later.”
“I’m not burnt out,” I say as I step back into the car. “I don’t know what’s going on, but it’s not that.”
Jackie looks down at me with a severe expression on her face. “Then, all due respect, Mr. Mayor, you need to figure out what the hell it is so we can fix it.”
I nod sourly but say nothing. She’s right. This isn’t like me at all, and I hate the way I’m feeling. I’ve got an entire city relying on me, I can’t afford to be anything less than perfect.
A few minutes later, we’re back on the road headed toward home. Wells keeps checking on me in the rear view mirror. He’s just as worried about me as Jackie was because they’ve never seen me like this.
Hell, I’ve never seen me like this.
My thoughts drift back to the hospital and the unseen force that was tethering me to Rubin. As the scenery flashes by, I can’t help but feel like I’ve made a terrible mistake.
77
Rubin
I hate hospitals. I always have. The whole place feels sterile and institutionalized and depressing.
The doctors and nurses all greet me with smiles and friendly demeanors, but I can’t help feeling like they’re all just putting on a show.
Maybe my deep-seeded mistrust of hospitals has something to do with my past. I don’t exactly have positive memories associated with them. I don’t remember everything clearly, but something happened to me in the past…before I came to Omega House.
What I do remember are a lot of tears and a deep sense of loss.
And after that, I was on my own.
But it’s not something I like to dwell on.
“Looks like you got lucky.” The doctor sits down beside me with a tablet in his hand as he flips through my chart. “You’ve got two cracked ribs, but they’re not broken. They should heal on their own as long as you take it easy.”
“You’ve also got some hairline fractures in your forearms.” The doctor points to a photo of my x-ray on his device. “But we’re going to send you home with some braces to support them while they heal. You’ll want to avoid heavy lifting, playing sports, etc. Just try to keep your arms immobile.”
I close my eyes and imagine how much harder that’s going to make job hunting. Most jobs I’m qualified for require some lifting and a lot of manual labor.
“In about two weeks, you’ll be able to start using your arms again. Exercising them will help with the healing process, but don’t overdo it. It’ll probably be six to eight weeks before the pain subsides completely.”
I nod slowly as I listen to his instructions. They’ve got me on some decent painkillers, so I can’t really feel anything at the moment, but I know it’s going to be a rough road from here.
Still, I’m starting to realize he’s right.
I am lucky.
If things had gone much further, the damage could’ve been a lot worse. As it is, most of my injuries will heal without any major surgeries or treatments.
“As for the lacerations on your cheek...” The doctor purses his lips and looks at me with an apologetic expression. “There’s not much we can do about those. I stitched them up as tight as I could, and the small stitches should reduce scarring, but I’m afraid it won’t eliminate them completely.”
I bite my lip and nod. Apparently, I’m stuck with the brand those thugs left with me.
“Scars tend to fade with time,” the doctor says, trying to be reassuring. But he won’t meet my gaze.
And I know why. I saw the damage before it was bandaged the first time, so I know what’s waiting for me when those scars heal.
“The rest of your injuries are superficial and should begin to feel better in a few day’s time. You’ll be going home with some pretty powerful painkillers, but use those sparingly. You don’t want to get addicted.” The doctor pulls up another page of notes. “Oh...it says you’re staying at Omega House. Since they have a policy against controlled substances, we’ll give you a script for some NSAIDs that are a little more powerful than what you can get over the counter. They should help with the inflammation around your arms and ribs.”
“Okay,” I whisper. There isn’t much I can say to that. I’m at the mercy of whatever I’m allowed to take back home, and that list is fairly short.
“Get some rest for now. I’m gonna go ahead and keep you ov
ernight for observation.” He winks at me. “We’ll keep you on the good stuff for a little longer.” He rises from his seat and pushes the stool away. “Someone will come get you once we find a room for the night. Now, it says here I need to update the mayor about your progress. Looks like you’ve got friends in high places.”
“We’re not really friends.” I fidget with the sheet before I can keep my mouth shut. The twinge in my heart makes me instantly regret the words. “He was there when I got injured, and I guess he took an interest in making sure I got treated.”
The doctor smiles at me. “Well, then we’ll do our best to make sure that he gets his money’s worth.” He turns away and quickly makes his exit.
With a sigh, I sink back against the pillows. Everyone’s treating me like I’m someone special because “Mr. Mayor” said he would pay for my treatment. I should resent him for putting me in this awkward position, but I don’t. Mostly, I just want to see him again.
Earlier, not long after I was admitted to the hospital, I thought I could almost feel him leaving. It sounds silly now, but at the time, I was certain I knew the exact moment he walked out the doors of the hospital building. It felt like I’d been punched in the gut and, believe me, I know what that feels like.
Staring out the window, I try to focus on something, anything, other than Mayor Marius Lang. The only problem is there’s literally nothing else in my life to think about. It’s not like I brought a book or a magazine. All I can do is stare into space and wait.
After a little while, a nurse comes and rolls my bed out of the ER area. After a maze of twists and turns, I lose track of all the different halls we travel, but we eventually stop in a long room. There’s a curtain dividing it down the middle, and another bed is on the side nearest the window. The lights are off, and it’s obvious my new roommate is fast asleep.
The nurse sets up my bed and hooks me up to some machines to monitor my vitals, practically ensuring I’ll have a miserable night of sleep. After making sure I’ve got everything I need, she leaves me alone in the quiet room.
The darkness of the room and the steady whir of the machines lull me into a drowsy state. I’m not comfortable, but I’m exhausted, so it only takes a few minutes for me to drift off.
* * *
Morning comes earlier than I’d like after sleeping fitfully for just a few hours. My dreams were plagued with memories of the men who beat me up as well as intoxicating fantasies of all the ways I should’ve thanked Marius for saving me.
My mouth is bone dry, and I’m a little lightheaded as I slowly sit up in bed. A sharp pain reminds me of my bruised ribs, causing me to wince in pain with the motion. If this is how I feel on “the good stuff” as the doctor called it, then I’m gonna be hating life when I’m on the less powerful stuff.
I don’t relish that thought in the slightest.
A little while later, a nurse comes by to check on me before setting up my breakfast. I’m ravenous and dig in with reckless abandon. Food is one of the few things I truly love in my life.
God, that’s pathetic.
Omega House is great, too. They’ve always been kind to me and have allowed me to live there rent free for much my life. Every time I’ve ventured beyond the safety of Omega House to interact with the outside world, it’s been an utter disaster.
Maybe it’s just me. I’m pretty unlucky when it comes to getting a job, going clubbing, or hanging out with friends. Really, all the other things single omegas do to become successful members of society never seem to work for me.
I’ve been caught in a cycle of putting myself out there, failing, resolving to never do that again, waiting six months, then doing it again, for close to five years now. Some things stick longer than others, but pretty much everything falls apart eventually.
Of course, none of them ever brought me this close to death before.
I sigh as I touch the bandages on my cheek. As long as those scars are there, I doubt I’ll ever try anything like this again.
“Knock, knock.” Marius’s deep, honey voice drifts through my thoughts and shatters them.
I look up and see the handsome alpha standing just inside the door. He’s got a vase of flowers in one hand and a cheery smile on his face. Despite that smile, however, I see the dark-rimmed, bloodshot eyes of a man who hardly slept. His complexion is ashen, and he looks like he’s seen better days.
“You look the way I feel,” I tell him without hesitation. There’s a tiny flare of anger inside me, and I realize very abruptly that I’m angry at him for leaving the hospital yesterday. It doesn’t really make any sense to me. There was no reason for him to stay. There was nothing to be gained by him sticking around. If anything, it would’ve made the coddling by the doctors and nurses even worse than it already is.
“I hear you’re in for quite the road to recovery,” Marius says, ignoring my comment. He carries the vase to my night stand and sets it down carefully.
“It’s not as bad as it sounds.” I shrug without making eye contact. “Just some bed rest, and I’ll be fine in a few weeks.”
I can feel Marius looking at me as if appraising my condition. His gaze is practically dancing over my body, lingering on the spots where I’m wounded as if trying to assess the speed with which I’ll heal. I shiver under his inspection, feeling naked and exposed to him.
The surprising part is realizing I don’t hate it.
“You’re coming back to my place,” he says after a moment. “I’ve got a room you can use. It’s southern facing so you’ll get plenty of natural light. My house staff will be able to see to your needs, whatever they are. You’ll be well looked after.”
“I think I’ve had just about enough of your charity for now, Mr. Mayor.” I shake my head in annoyance, only briefing looking at him.
“Yes...well, the fact is, I wasn’t going to open my home up to you at all.” Marius folds his arms and moves toward the foot of my bed. “I figured, I’ve already gone above and beyond what’s required here. The rest is in your hands. But then I learned you won’t be able to get the painkillers you need while you’re staying at Omega House.”
I lift my eyes slightly and grudgingly meet his sly gaze.
“So, I can’t rightly say I’ve done all I can for you if I know you’ll be wallowing in pain after you’re released from here.”
I clench my jaw and consider his offer. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t pleased to see him again, but I dislike the way he thinks he can just swoop in and fix all my problems. He saved my life and I’ll be forever grateful for that, but that doesn’t give him the right to involve himself in everything I do.
Still, the thought of trying to recover from cracked ribs, fractured arms, a lacerated cheek, and all the other cuts and bruises without the right kind of medication sounds like torture.
“This isn’t some sort of ploy to get me into bed with you, is it?” I look at him cautiously, not at all prepared for his response.
He chokes and sputters as his cheeks flush bright red. Marius straightens and clears his throat before running a nervous hand through his hair. “I assure you, I’m not at all interested in...taking advantage of someone…like you. That is to say, someone who’s injured.”
I frown, deeply furrowing my brow as I look at him. There’s something weird in the way he’s talking that I don’t really care for. I can’t tell if he’s prejudiced against poor people, or omegas, or just me, but there’s definitely something he’s hiding.
Still, I can’t pass up the opportunity for the painkillers I need, not to mention resting in what I’m assuming is a fancy house with servants. I’ve never been waited on by anyone before, and all sorts of ideas begin flashing through my head.
If this is actually happening, then I’m going to take full advantage of it. “Fine then, I’ll stay with you. For now. Until I’m healed. Then I’m heading back home. Got it?” I tilt my head slowly to one side and look at him critically.
Despite my immovable frown, I feel a deep satisfact
ion from saying those words. It’ll be at least eight weeks until I’m fully healed which means two months of spending time with Marius.
And just as quickly as I have it, I silently chastise myself for that thought. Why the hell do I have to be attracted to someone as arrogant, naive, and clearly overburdened as him?
Oh, right. It’s my cycle of relationship sabotage.
Awesome.
78
Marius
I might have made a mistake.
That realization begins to sink in as soon as I’m wheeling Rubin out of the hospital to the car where Wells is waiting for us. At least the wheelchair keeps me from having to face him directly just yet.
After yesterday’s meltdown, I knew I needed to do something about this whole Rubin situation. I had intended to go in there, give him the flowers, and leave my card so he could call me if he needed anything. That should have satisfied the burning ache in the pit of my stomach.
But the moment I laid eyes on him, I knew that wouldn’t even come close to being enough.
Still, taking him back to my home might be going a little overboard.
Rubin stubbornly refuses any help as he makes the transition from the wheelchair to the car. He’s still on the really powerful drugs from the hospital, so I’m sure he’s not feeling the full extent of his injuries at the moment.
Worried he might collapse, I hold out a hand just in case he needs it.
He doesn’t.
As soon as he’s settled in the backseat, I take a deep breath before sliding in on the other side.
Every passing moment increases the tension in the air around us. Given Rubin’s demeanor though, I’m starting to wonder if I’m the only one who’s feeling it.
He keeps his eyes turned away from me, watching the buildings go by as Wells drives us back to my home.
I’m going to be late getting to work this morning, but Jackie was able to rearrange my schedule for me. Again.
