‘I do?’ Louise answered, the inflection at the end more of a question than confirmation that she agreed.
‘Yes, Vata, it governs your body’s changes during your pregnancy.’ He moved his hand to touch the baby but stopped abruptly when Louise caught his wrist. Handsy was how she had described him to Kelly on the first occasion he had tried it before. He bowed his head apologetically. ‘Vata,’ he repeated. ‘Your Vata is out of balance today, no?’ He eased his skinny wrist from her vice like grip and bowed his head again. ‘Are you struggling to feel joy at the moment, Mama, I’m getting an aura of unease?’ he looked at her curiously.
‘Me no,’ She raised her eyebrows and replaced her smile with a tight-lipped straight line. She hated it when strangers, and even people she knew, presumed they could maul her because of the pregnancy. ‘I’m as joyous as can be.’ She didn’t even try and hide the sarcasm laced answer, ‘but thanks for asking.’ She smiled then and deliberately rolled over on her knees before she stood up. Even though she was nearly eighteen weeks’ pregnant and barely showing at all she made sure not to give handsy Marti any more invitation to instruct her, particularly not the demonstrative kind that he favoured.
‘Good,’ Marti answered bowing in front of her before he made his way to the top of the room to ring his bell.
‘Jesus, I thought you were going to drop him there,’ Alex sniggered, her voice crackling with anticipation. ‘God help anyone who puts their hands on this baby when it comes along.’ Alex pulled her regatta fleece over her head. ‘Besides her aunty Alex that is.’
‘If it wasn’t for the bribe of brunch afterwards with you, I can promise you, I would not be rolling up here every week to have Marti maul my middle bit.’ Louise raised her voice slightly then as the relaxing hum from moments earlier rose to a more undistinguished chattering din.
‘Remember sisters,’ Marti rang his bell and addressed the class but every time he used the term sisters, both Alex and Louise were paranoid that he meant it specifically for them. ‘Be fearless and pure, be self-controlled, sincere, truthful, loving, and full of the desire to serve others.’
‘I think he meant that one for you, Detective Sergeant Mama.’ Alex whispered into Louise’s ear. He’s touching his wrist where you held him, he can feel a bruise coming on already.’
‘He’s lucky that’s all he’ll have.’ Louise snorted just as Marti began to speak again.
‘Seek the truth in all things; learn to detach and take joy in the sacrifices you make to support goodness.’
‘Well then,’ Louise nodded to Alex smirking, ‘that one must be for you, then.’
‘And do not get angry or harm any living creature but be compassionate and gentle; show goodwill to all.’
‘Definitely for you,’ Alex burst out laughing and the sisters left the studio in companionable giggles as they made their way down the flight of stairs. They didn’t speak again until they had pushed through the heavy glass doors of the Quays Café a few doors down, sunk down into two blue velvet chairs by the window and had ordered their usual omelette brunch with tea and water.
‘So,’ Louise swirled the teabags around the pot before she poured. Alex liked hers a little weaker so she always got the first one. She placed the teapot back down and curled her fingers to make quotation marks and repeated Marti’s blessings from earlier. ‘Speaking of, “Seeking the truth in all things and sacrifices…” has Liam packed his bags yet?’ Her attempt at an idle enquiry had sounded less accusatory in her head and she cringed when she saw Alex’s downcast reaction to it. ‘What I meant to say is, how are you doing with Liam and the move and everything?’ She’d disapproved of the plan ever since Alex had told her about it and she found it hard to temper her disapproval at times.
‘We’re okay, we’ve,’ she hesitated. She hated the idea that Louise would think she was being a pushover, especially since she herself had always been so strong but what else could Alex do? She could hardly have given Liam an ultimatum, told him that she’d leave him if he chose to be with the kids over her. ‘We’ve worked a few things out, we’ll make it work.’ She knew she was lying but she knew that it was what Louise needed to hear. She and Liam had only ever discussed the move in the terms of what it would mean to the children, not what it would mean to them and they hadn’t got around to figuring out how it would work logistically yet. Her smile, even though wide, didn’t quite reach her slightly weary eyes.
‘And are you going to stay on at the apartment?’ Louise asked. Many weeks had passed since Alex had first told Louise about the moving back in plan and throughout that time they had discussed the impact of it at length. One of Alex’s biggest concerns would be that to Liam’s family, particularly Josh, she would just be seen as a freeloader if she continued to live in Liam’s apartment while he wasn’t even there. ‘Because the offer to move in with us still stands,’ her original wish list of having three bedrooms was to accommodate occasions such as this or have room for Kelly’s sister Annie to visit from Kilkenny. ‘We’ll make it work with two bedrooms. The baby won’t be needing her own room until next year anyway and by then…’ Louise shrugged her shoulders not knowing how to finish the sentence. ‘By then…’ she started again but still couldn’t find the words. How do you say, Liam’s wife, Jennifer Buckley might even be dead, without sounding like a heartless bitch.
‘It’s okay, I know what you mean.’ Alex said. No one, not even Liam from what she could discern, had any idea of what to expect. ‘And I think, I’m going to stay where I am, it is our home.’ They were words Liam had used in an attempt to reassure her and a big part of her hoped that she’d feel as sure as him someday too. But she wasn’t naïve, the apartment was Liam’s, a legacy of an investment that he and his wife had once made and she was living there scot-free, the only bill with her name on it was for her phone.
‘Good,’ Louise answered sensing the hesitancy in her sister’s voice. ‘Because I’m not sure who would be harder to live with, overprotective Kelly with a newborn baby, or you.’ She grinned.
‘And anyway, it’s not the forever plan, Oakley Drive is just,’ Alex searched for the best words to use, ‘temporary, for now.’
‘For now,’ Louise repeated in agreement, then gave the teabag one more swirl before she poured herself a cup. ‘It’ll work out grand,’ she offered a small, resigned smile. ‘Liam’s used to coming and going anyway with his schedule, living out of a bag in hotel rooms in cities all around the world is what he does so this is not going to be much different really,’ Louise tried her best to sound positive. ‘It will all work out in the end.’
‘Exactly, and it’s not as though the apartment is a million miles away so whatever he needs, he can pop back to get.’ Alex added.
‘True,’ Louise glanced at Alex’s eyes and then to her fidgeting hands. ‘So, are you doing okay then, about it all?’
‘I’m fine,’ Alex’s said, rotating her stiff shoulders from the front to the back.
‘You’re allowed to be not okay though, you’re allowed to say that it’s not ideal.’
‘Yeah, and sound like the most selfish cow alive.’
‘It’s not selfish, Lex to want your boyfriend to not want to move back in with his ex-wife.’ Louise’s voice was almost at a whisper. She had been so vocal about Liam before that she didn’t want to sound like a broken record. Who was she to have an opinion on how her sister lived her life?
‘First of all… boyfriend? What are we, fourteen,’ Alex shrugged and smiled. ‘And second of all, he’s not moving back to be with Jenny, Lou, he’s moving back to help out the kids, support Abbie and Josh a little more, they need their dad and he wants to be there for them.’
‘I get that, I do, I just,’ Louise sighed, she was worried that they hadn’t thought it through and that Alex was always going to get hurt.
‘Well, would you leave Kelly if he told you that he needed to move back to Kilkenny to look after Annie?’ Alex asked.
‘T
hat’s different.’ Louise was quick to answer.
‘It’s not really, Louise. Kelly loves Annie and if Annie needed Kelly, I’m sure he’dfind a way to be there for her, even if it meant leaving you for a time. Liam loves his kids, no difference. He’s moving back in because they need him, not because he wants to be back in his ex-wife’s life. He’s their dad, they are overwhelmed with living with a terminally ill parent on their own and they need a constant, a stable parent in their lives. It’s a simple as that.’
‘So… he’s not doing it out of guilt…’ Louise paused, rephrasing Alex’s own words back to her, ‘for leaving Jenny for you in the first place?’
‘Stop,’ Alex cringed. She had been upset last March when Liam had been called back to Oakley Drive and over a few glasses of wine with her sister she had told her exactly how she had felt. ‘Jesus Christ, it’s like you’ve a photographic memory or something.’
‘And… you don’t think he’s a “duplicitous selfish prick” anymore and that even though you knew that the freak weather was the reason he was stranded over at Oakley Drive you still couldn’t help feeling put out by the fact that he was staying over there?’
‘I shouldn’t have said that,’ Alex’s neck flared red with blotchy red patches and she recoiled at how sharp her accusations and insults about Liam had been. She loved Liam Buckley, had done since the first night she spent with him. ‘But in my defence…’
‘Yes.’
‘On the face of it, it just looked like he was dumping me to go to them. It wasn’t until afterwards when Liam described how difficult life had become for them, that I realised he was only doing it out of the goodness of his own heart. You know that Abbie is a little sensitive and she needs him to be around. And yes, to answer your earlier accusation, he did feel guilty at seeing how hard life had become for them and he said that it had been him who suggested he move back in, not Jenny, not the kids.’
‘Really?’
‘Yes.’ Alex shook her head. ‘He knew they wouldn’t leave their mum so there was no point in suggesting that they come and live with him, so he said that the only other option was for him to move in with them. And you know that he wants to get back on track with Josh, repair the damage that’s been done between them.’
‘And leave you on your own.’ Louise added.
‘That’s what dads do, Louise. They show up when their kids need them, that’s all that matters.’
‘And how is Josh taking to the idea of his dad moving back in?
‘He’s the same, sullen, angry, untrusting.’
‘I know, I get it, I do,’ Louise said. ‘I just can’t help thinking that it’s a bad idea. I understand that the kids need him, but there are other ways. It’s not as though he can’t afford another carer or someone to take the burden from the kids.’ Louise shifted forward in her chair and lowered her voice a little more. ‘It’s just weird that his ex-wife is still there, that he’ll be living in the same house as her, you know?’
‘Even if I agreed with you, I would be the biggest bitch in the world if I said that I was against the idea.’ Alex didn’t need to admit to Louise how she really felt. ‘And besides, it won’t be forever,’ she felt awful for even thinking it, never mind saying it.
‘Yes, and then what?’ Louise raised her eyebrow a fraction waiting for Alex to respond. ‘What happens then? Does Liam continue on living in his dead wife’s family home and you continue living at the apartment?’
‘I don’t know Lou,’ Alex shook her head reluctant to have the conversation.
‘What do you mean you don’t know? These are things you should know, you need to know where you stand. Have you even talked about it?’
‘Of course we’ve talked about it,’ Alex answered and was quick to look away. Louise had a built-in radar for when she was lying.
‘And?’
‘And we’re going to deal with it when the time comes.’ She glanced at Louise hoping that was enough to satisfy her. She could tell by her expression that it wasn’t so she continued. ‘We’ve a few options and we really just need to wait and see what happens, when it happens and all of that.’
‘A few options?’ Louise wasn’t letting it go.
‘Well, the priority for Liam,’ she anticipated Louise’s interruption at referring to Liam’s priority as opposed to hers first and raised her hand slightly to warn her to stay quiet. ‘The priority for both of us is the kids. They need their dad and I agree wholeheartedly with Liam. They should be the first focus, not the only focus but the first. Getting them right. Repairing his relationship with Josh and stabilising Abbie.’ She thought for a moment. ‘Honestly, would you want me to be involved with a dad who didn’t prioritise his kids?’ she asked.
‘I suppose not,’ Louise answered.
‘And so when Liam, or I should say, when we get the kids settled, we’ll have an open discussion, all four of us, on how best to move forward together. Whether that’s in the apartment or Oakley Drive, I don’t yet know.’ She swallowed trying to assert herself more confidently.
‘Surely not,’ Louise balked at the idea of her sister moving into her partner’s ex-wife’s house.
‘Why not?’ Alex challenged her. ‘They are Liam’s kids, they are family, so whatever is best for the family is best for Liam and me.’
‘Are you happy about that?’ Louise asked. ‘Actually happy?
‘Yes, of course. That’s like you having a problem with Kelly and his relationship with his sister.’
‘I suppose… I just don’t want you to be hurt, that’s all.’ Louise’s voice trailed off when she saw a waitress approaching their table with their omelettes in tow. Liam Buckley didn’t strike her as the giving, caring type. She couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t quite right. She waited for everything to be set on the table and for the waitress to leave before she continued. ‘Okay, I’ll shut up about it now and let you eat your food, I just worry about you, I am your big sister after all,’ she grinned, she never failed to take an opportunity to remind Alex of the ten-minute seniority she held over her.
‘Well, definitely bigger,’ Alex said, her voice brightening a little as her eyes landed on Louise’s small but significant bump.
‘Older, bigger, therefore the boss,’ Louise smiled and scooped up the first forkful into her mouth.
‘You do know there is a difference between being the boss and being bossy,’ Alex asked, half joking but whole in earnest. ‘As I’m sure Kelly knows only too well,’ Alex added.
‘It’s him that’s bossing me these days,’ Louise rubbed her tummy. ‘I still have a mountain of boxes and suitcases to unload but every time I try and do anything physical, Kelly nearly has a conniption.’
‘He’s just being protective, Lou,’
‘Over-protective, more like. He thinks I’m going to injure myself by lifting ten pairs of knickers from a suitcase to the drawer all at the one time.’ Louise sniffed back a smile and Alex laughed at her exaggeration. ‘And,’ she pulled out her phone and called up the last text message Kelly had sent her. ‘If you don’t believe me, read this,’ she handed the phone to Alex who read the series of messages they had sent to each other out loud.
Will be finished painting the upstairs this evening I reckon. But only if you don’t come home and distract me!
Where am I supposed to go?
Why don’t you and Alex head over to Dundrum?
Probably because you know me and shopping centres, especially ones as big and full of teenagers like Dundrum, don’t mix well.
Humour me?
‘Are you going to answer him?’ Alex laughed.
‘No, I think I’ll make him sweat, besides, if he thinks I’m coming home to do some work, it’ll make him work a bit faster.’
‘Oh, that’s cruel,’ Alex snorted, ‘but I know secretly, you love it,’ she added.
‘Maybe,’ Louise couldn’t help the grin that spread across her face. ‘I don’t suppose y
ou want to go to Dundrum then?’ she asked. ‘Do a bit of shopping, maybe get you a haircut’ she pointed to Alex’s overly long fringe falling into her eyes. Both Alex and Louise had long luscious dark brown hair, the only difference between the two was that Alex had a fringe. It had been a relatively new addition to Alex’s hair style and on many occasions, because it warranted more frequent visits to the hairdresser’s since she had had it cut in, she had threatened that she was going to grow it back out.
‘What is it with you and my fringe?’ Alex blew over her top lip to move it. ‘I think you secretly want me to look more like you.’
‘It just torments me when it’s in your eyes, that’s all.’ Louise smirked, the image of them always in identical clothes with matching hairstyles in their childhood making her smile.
‘Well trim it for me then, I don’t like going to the hairdresser’s and besides, I can’t,’ Alex pressed the button on her phone to check the time. It was already two in the afternoon. ‘My first piano lesson starts at three-thirty when all the little darlings are finished school and I’ve already asked Dec to cover for me tonight in O’ Donoghues so I can’t ask him to take my piano lessons too.’
‘Okay,’ Louise hadn’t been in the humour for Dundrum either but would have pushed herself to go if Alex had been happy to go along. ‘It’s fine, I’ll probably head back into the office and get some reports done, catch up on paperwork anyhow. It’ll make it easier for me to take next Tuesday off and head down to Kilkenny to see Annie with Kelly.’
‘But not because Kelly told you to, it’s totally because you want to go yourself,’ Alex joked. She knew Louise would hate it, the idea of a man telling her what to do.
‘Yes, I’m a kept woman who does what I’m told,’ Louise shook her head. ‘But he is painting and the fumes are a bit toxic.’ She rubbed her hand over her stomach. ‘So for the sake of this little one, I think I will just do as I’m told.’
When the Time Comes (ARC) Page 15
