“Did Sunn come along for the hunt?” I changed the subject.
Embrosine’s eyes quickly lit up at the mention of her daughter. “Oh yes, she loves any chance to roam outdoors and get dirty.” She looked over at her daughter who was sitting at the grand table.
I got caught up watching Sunn leave her chair and skip over to Mid on the opposite side of the table. My heart quickened as I looked at him for the first time that night, having avoided any contact with him all evening. Mid reached over to Sunn and teasingly pulled her into his side, tickling her. She giggled and squealed as he relentlessly pestered her. Not giving up, he stood from his chair and pretended to grab her into a wrestling pose by the dessert table. He was going easy on her, and even let her get the upper hand to ruffle his hair and feign a couple weak punches into his side. He pretended she was winning and released his hold. She was laughing as she returned to her seat.
I felt my heart tighten at the adorable display of familial love, hating how hard he was making it to forget about him.
“How would you feel about having tea together sometime?” Embrosine suddenly requested.
I was about to deny her invitation but was abruptly stopped by the hopeful look in her deep brown eyes. “I would love to,” I said, choking out the words.
“Perfect! I’ll have it arranged.” She stood from the sofa and walked back to the feasting table to rejoin the festivities.
I sighed, glad to be alone again, and fell against the couch cushions. I turned my attention back to the hearth, listening to the hum of celebration while allowing my mind to wander back to Mid.
I didn’t know how much longer I could fight the silent battle going on inside of myself. But I felt that soon I might break apart under the pressure. Usually I was the type of person who had every determination to win, but at that moment, all I wanted to do was raise the white flag and surrender. I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened during the hunt, and it was destroying my resolve to keep things pragmatic between us.
I couldn’t–wouldn’t–let Mid know it, but it seemed he may have already won. Because a part of me already knew that I loved him. . . dangerously, and unconditionally.
TWENTY-THREE
Studying had quickly become my only safe haven. I started studying the Ethirical even deeper now, trying and failing to distract myself. The amulet was still a puzzle I couldn't seem to solve, and I would spend hours in the library only to get nowhere with its powers. The only thing I had managed to do was read more about the kings. I imprinted their stories into my mind in the hopes of being able to theorize what could possibly be tokens from their lives.
With the hunt now days in the past and my mind focused back on the tokens and the curse, I had almost forgotten I had agreed to have tea with Embrosine. I was in the library when Oli came to remind me.
“Please don’t make me go to tea with the ladies,” I begged.
Oli came over to where I was sitting and forcibly closed the book on the table.
“It’s important for you to get to know the queen and Embrosine. They are going to be part of our lives now,” Oli said in his fatherly tone.
I sighed loudly. “You know I hate tea parties. Those tiny sandwiches never fill me up.”
“You have two days to prepare.” He was trying to sound optimistic, but it didn’t help my anxiousness at seeing Embrosine or the queen again. They were the real reason I didn’t want to go. Something about seeing Mid’s sister and his mother created a nervousness in me that didn't usually exist in my careless nature.
“Fine, now can you please go? I need to study some more,” I pleaded.
Oli looked at me with an astonished expression. “I never thought I’d hear those words come out of your mouth.”
“Glad to know I can still surprise you,” I said flatly.
I was just about to open up the book again when I caught sight of Oli leaving the library. He suddenly stumbled back in surprise and I could hear a series of apologies being passed between Oli and another individual who he’d bumped into.
“Captain, my apologies. . .”
I peered up from my book to see a guard standing in the doorway, lowering his hand awkwardly back to his side as if he was just about to knock.
“No problem, how may I help you?” Oli asked.
The guard quickly recovered and reached into his cloak pocket to pull out a piece of paper.
“This is for Princess Sabeara. I was told she must read it immediately.”
“Thank you,” Oli replied, while closing the door behind the guard. He brought the piece of paper over to me.
I took it from his outstretched hand, eyeing it warily. “Who is it from?” I asked.
Oli just shook his head. “I don't know.”
I broke the candle wax seal, opened the fresh piece of scroll paper, and then began to read the contents of the letter aloud.
Princess Sabeara,
It would please me if you would meet me in the west dining hall. I would like to have a word with you. It is an important matter, and I would like to discuss it privately.
King Knadian
Fear froze the very blood in my veins as I finished reading the words. I looked up at Oli with wide eyes, feeling my heart nearly stop inside my chest. An inquiry from King Knadian himself was not what I had expected. A thousand reasons went through my mind as to why he might be asking to speak with me. But I had a feeling, deep down inside, that it had something to do with Mid.
THE WEST DINING hall was a more intimate dining space than the grand hall. It was a good room to speak to someone privately. It was furnished to house low capacity gatherings and was pleasantly quaint. There was a sentry waiting patiently outside the grand double doors, and upon seeing me, gave a polite bow.
“He is waiting for you inside Your Highness.” The sentry turned the handle and pushed the door open so I could pass through. Once the door shut behind me, I was immediately overcome with nervousness.
The room was dim. The sable sky behind the floor to ceiling windows created a glassy backdrop that was almost dreamlike. The room was adorned with freshly lit candles. The walls, the chandelier, and even the table that sat in the very center of the room were covered in them. The king was already seated at the table, and I anxiously walked toward him.
“King Knadian, you wanted to speak with me?” I asked, my voice shattering the silence. It was hard to make out the king's face in the muted lighting and it wasn’t until he spoke that I realized it wasn’t him sitting at the table.
“I’m glad you accepted my invitation to meet.”
My body hummed to life as I recognized the voice. It was nearly instantaneous the way my pulse quickened and my stomach fluttered.
“Mid. . .?” I asked in shock. He stood from the table, and it was then that I could clearly see that it was him. He wore a nicely fitted tunic and trousers beneath his brown cloak, and his hair was slicked back away from his face. He even had a flower in his lapel. I stopped in my tracks, a couple feet away from the table. “Your father didn’t invite me here did he?” I asked appalled, feeling suddenly angry that he had manipulated me.
“I knew you wouldn't come if it was me asking,” he said honestly and gestured toward the seat across from him. “Please, sit. I would like to talk.”
“I can’t believe you.” I glared at him, my voice rising. “Did you bribe the guard?” When I realized that was the most probable explanation as to why we were here alone, I reached up running a hand through my hair nervously. “Who else knows you invited me here?” I looked back at the door and Mid quickly stopped my speculations.
“No one knows. Now, don’t worry about the guard. He thinks I’m my father,” Mid explained.
He gestured to the seat across from him again and I took it, feeling suddenly unsteady.
“Why does the guard think you are your father?” I asked.
Mid didn't bother hiding his smirk. “Do you really have to ask that question, Little Bear?” he patronized, and I gas
ped aloud when his face suddenly changed in front of me.
In the blink of an eye it was no longer Mid across the table but King Knadian. It was uncanny how exactly he appeared to be his father. He had the dark hair, the piercing green eyes, and he even had an older, more mature face.
“The illusions. . .” I whispered in awe.
“Yes, the illusions. How else do you think I manage to hide my identity so well?” If he was trying to bait me into conversation, it was working. With a faint flash of golden light he changed back into himself, and I was suddenly looking into his emerald-scarlet eyes again.
“The festival in Ethydon, that’s how no one knew you were the prince,” I said, more to myself than to him.
“Sabeara, I just want to have dinner with you,” he said, reverting back to his motives for inviting me.
“If you think tricking me into a romantic dinner was going to win me over, you were mistaken. I don't like being lied to, Mid,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest.
“I didn’t think there was another way,” he admitted, and I could tell he was telling the truth.
“You could’ve asked me to dinner,” I pointed out.
“Yes, because I’m sure that would have gone over well. We haven’t been on the greatest of terms lately, if you haven’t noticed,” he said sarcastically.
I shot another glare at him. I hated when he was right.
“Fine. I’ll stay,” I said, reaching to the glass of Lush Fire that was already poured for me. I knew I was making a stupid mistake, but I was only so strong. I had tried nobly to follow the rules for once in my life and he was making it nearly impossible. I took a long sip of the bubbling drink with my shaking hands, hoping it would calm me.
“You’re nervous. There is no need to be nervous around me.” His assurance did little to help my anxiety.
“Easy for you to say,” I scoffed. He was always so confident, so self-assured. I hated the way he made it seem so easy to hide his feelings.
“Are you hungry?” he asked, pushing a bowl of food toward me. It smelled delicious—it was a hearty looking soup, the kind that could make a person feel sleepy after a couple bites. I reached for the spoon, and took a sip, and instantly became warm from head to toe.
“All right. What is it you want to talk about?” I asked, in between spoonfuls of soup.
“I want to talk about you, Sabeara.” Mid’s voice lowered seductively.
I felt my cheeks flush. Quickly I took another sip of my drink, in hopes he wouldn’t notice. “What do you want to know?” I asked, trying to keep my facial expressions from giving my emotions away.
“The things you love, the things that make you who you are, and anything else I need to know about you.”
I pursed my lips while setting my glass back down on the table.
“That’s a loaded question,” I replied, my mind reeling unexpectedly with his inquiry.
“We have time.” Mid leaned back into his chair and folded his arms across his broad chest. Memories of the hunt and the way he held me after my nightmare resurfaced, along with the way his lips felt on mine back in Ethydon. I shook my head, trying to shake away my suddenly distracted, wayward thoughts.
“Well. . . I love being out in the forest,” I started pathetically, and he stayed quiet, silently urging me to keep talking. “But you already knew that. Hmmm. . . I like summer more than winter. I like eating dessert before dinner.” I was nervous, and for some reason it made me ramble more. “I like sleeping with the terrace window open, and I hate cherries.”
His eyebrows rose a little at that one, but he still didn’t say anything, so I continued.
“The loss of my mother is probably the thing that shaped me the most. After her death Oli and my sister practically raised me. My father barely showed his face and I became accustomed to being wild, outspoken, and particularly difficult—probably to cope with my underlying family problems.” I was shocked at my own honesty and presumed it was the Lush Fire making me so candid. “Does that answer your questions?” I hoped his curiosity would be sated and our little dinner would come to an end. Mid nodded slowly, his emerald- scarlet eyes thoughtful.
“About Oli, is there something between the two of you?”
My mouth dropped open. I was shocked that after all I’d said that was the only follow up question he could conjure.
“Of course not. He’s my guardian!”
“You two are very close,” Mid observed thoughtfully. And it was then that I finally saw it, the flash of jealousy in his eyes. It was the tiniest glimmer, but I knew I couldn't have imagined it.
“Are you jealous?” I asked, smirking.
“I’m not jealous, just curious,” Mid deflected, his eyes narrowing.
“Well there's nothing to be jealous about; he’s my best friend,” I said simply. I could tell he didn’t quite believe me.
“I have one more question.”
“Only one?” I asked cynically.
His perfect lips drew up into a heart wrenching half grin. He was amused at my badgering. He enjoyed every minute of my sarcastic roweling comments.
“Why are you so determined to forget what happened between us?”
I knew it couldn't last long, the civility we had so briefly maintained. Our eyes locked for a moment as the question hung suspended in the air. I became furious that he had led me here, just to bring us back to the same argument we had already contended.
“I’m not going to argue about this again, Mid.”
“Who said we need to argue?” He raised an eyebrow and the rising irritation I had with his smugness was elevated by several notches.
“What do you want me to say, Mid? That I won’t try to forget about what happened in Ethydon?” I humored the idea, knowing deep down it was impossible.
“Yes, actually. That’s exactly what I want,” Mid said hotly.
“Fine, so let’s say I allow myself to act on the feelings we had back in Ethydon. What do we do about the betrothal?” When I said this, he seemed genuinely surprised I was even entertaining the idea.
“I talk to our fathers. We figure out a way to be together and keep the integrity of the alliance.” It sounded completely logical when he said it that way, yet it was so much more complicated than that.
“So we get the approval of our parents, we keep the alliance and everything is happily ever after as we rule and reign side by side on the throne?” My tone became more and more cynical with every word.
His eyes narrowed as he could finally see I was merely playing along. “You make it sound like it’s a horrible plan.”
“Because it is!” I said, standing from my chair, unable to sit any longer. “Don’t you see? The idea that our fathers would ever agree to switch the betrothal is pure madness. Not to mention the fact that my sister is already getting feelings for you and it would surely hurt her to see us together.”
He rolled his eyes. “She barely knows me.”
“I barely know you!” I yelled, my voice getting louder with every point.
“That’s not true,” Mid said, obviously upset I had belittled our budding relationship.
“Even if we could get past all of those things, there are other obstacles that you just don't understand, Mid.”
“Please, tell me because you might as well get it all out now,” he said mockingly.
“I don’t want to rule, Mid. I don’t want to be a queen. I’m not meant to be a ruler.” As I finally said the words aloud, hearing them stung worse than when they were running around inside my head.
His eyes widened as if he hadn’t expected this.
“What are you saying?” He stood from his chair then and carefully took several steps toward me.
“I’m saying that you and Jasper were made for each other. You both are natural born leaders, and are devoted to your kingdoms. I’m the exact opposite of the woman you are supposed to be with. She’s beautiful and powerful and everything a future queen should be.” I could feel the tears filling
the corners of my eyes now. It had always been the conflict deep inside of me—Jasper’s perfection and my inability to measure up to her.
“Do you hear yourself?” Mid reached for me, his hands cupping the sides of my face. The tears leaked out of the corners of my eyes, falling on to my cheeks where he gently wiped them away with his fingertips. “You are beautiful and strong too, Sabeara. And passionate, and loving, along with so many other things that you don’t even see.” His eyes searched mine with an intensity that I could feel through my whole body.
“I care about you, Mid. But, I care about you enough that I don’t want you to make a decision that one day you’ll regret.” I turned my head, breaking free from his grasp.
“So that’s it then, you want me to just forget my feelings and be with Jasper?” he asked bitterly, his hands falling back to his sides. I turned around determined to remain strong.
“Yes, that's what I want.” The voice in the back of my head screamed at me to take it back. Because it wasn’t the truth. It wasn’t what I wanted. But I knew it was how things needed to be.
“Fine, if that’s what you want then,” Mid said quietly, defeatedly.
It took everything in me to turn and leave the room. But I didn’t look back again, didn’t slow my pace. I knew that even though he said all of those things, he didn’t mean them. He couldn’t have meant them because he had yet to give himself over to Jasper. And once he did, he would understand and finally see that Jasper was the better choice.
TWENTY-FOUR
When I walked into the sunroom for tea the next day, I was the last to arrive. The table was already occupied by Queen Ruby, Jasper, Embrosine, and Sunn. They were laughing together when I stepped through the doors, and all eyes turned on me as I interrupted the conversation.
Granted (Granted Series Book 1) Page 18
