by Ida Curtis
It was on the tip of Justin’s tongue to ask Philip how he could possibly be of any help. It was ridiculous. Philip was accused of seducing his brother’s wife. If that wasn’t bad enough, he was in love with a woman whom he was unlikely to be able to marry. Although Justin was skeptical of Philip’s qualifications for helping anyone, the young man’s offer seemed sincere. For the first time Justin suspected Philip might be more than a reckless, charming youth.
“You were telling the truth, weren’t you, Philip? You weren’t intimate with Mariel.”
“No, I wasn’t.” The young man beamed. “You believe me. The only woman I ever lay with was Emma. It was the first time for both of us. It was rather awkward and amazing at the same time.”
That was a little more detail than Justin wanted to hear, but at the same time it confirmed his growing trust in Philip’s word. “I’m glad to hear that, Philip, but let’s keep that information between us. We still have to find out who was intimate with Lady Mariel. I’m not sure your presence will help with that task, but at least your brother will be unable to lay hands on you as long as you are with us.”
“I know it’s for the best that I get away for a while. But I hated leaving Lady Emma. She fears that we are destined to be separated, but I know we’ll be together one day. No matter how hard I try, I can’t convince her of that.”
Justin didn’t respond. Although he thought Philip’s optimism was sadly misplaced, he didn’t wish to be the one to say so. He looked back at Gilda. Although she had been watching them, she lowered her eyes when he turned. He could almost feel her pushing a wedge between them. Dressed as a lad, she didn’t look like a nun, but he suspected she was reminding herself that she was one. When she was talking with Lady Emma about her vocation, he could almost see her remembering why she had rejected the marriages her father had proposed.
The sun was high in the sky when they came upon a roadside shrine that was a popular resting place for travelers. The thatched hut that housed sacred relics was set back in a little grove, but there was a covered area beside the road where it was possible to escape the rain or sun while stopping for a meal.
It was Justin’s intention to ask the monk who tended the shrine whether he had seen Leonardo and Sister Freda. Unfortunately, there was a small party already occupying the open shelter. Justin didn’t wish to take the chance that someone would realize that the young lad trailing behind him was a woman, but before he could signal his party to keep moving, a familiar voice called to him.
“Lord Justin, is that really you? Wherever have you been?”
“Lady Placida,” Justin said, then nodded to the others in her party who had turned to see who approached.
“We were just remarking the other day that you hadn’t been seen at court for an age,” she continued. “There was much speculation about what errand the king had sent you on this time. I’m glad that we stopped for refreshments. Now I can report back to a certain person who expressed an interest in your whereabouts.”
Lady Placida was well known for circulating tales, and it occurred to Justin that he might not want to hear who was seeking information about him. Gilda and Philip had caught up to him and would be sure to hear everything she had to say.
“I’ve been away on assignment,” Justin replied, determined to say as little as possible about the nature of that assignment. “We have just stopped for a minute to speak with the local caretaker.”
Before Justin could move away to seek the monk, Placida spoke again. “Since you have been out of touch, I have news I’m sure will be of interest to you, Lord Justin. Lady Lilith is a widow again. Her husband had a hunting accident, and the poor man has passed over.”
The relish with which she told of his death was completely inappropriate. Justin was aware that Gilda, who already knew about his affair with Lady Lilith, had halted her horse just behind him. “I’m sorry to hear that,” he replied.
“I’m sure the lady needs cheering up. Will you be back to court soon?”
“No,” Justin replied as he got down from his horse. There was no point now in trying to rush away. He turned to help Gilda from her horse, then realized it would be inappropriate to help a young lad. Fortunately, she was already dismounting.
“We’ll stop for refreshments,” Justin said to Philip.
“We have plenty of provisions with us,” Lady Placida offered. “And there is a spring nearby. Perhaps your servant could fill a jug for us.”
It took a minute for Justin to realize that Placida was speaking of Gilda, and he couldn’t think of a reason to refuse her request. Placida’s traveling companions were two lords and another lady, and the lords were clearly above being ordered to fetch water.
As Justin was wondering if he should offer his services, Gilda, keeping her head bent toward the ground, snatched up the large water jug that Placida indicated and headed for the spring.
Philip, who had watched the exchange with wide eyes, said, “I need to stretch my legs. I’ll go along and have a look at the spring.”
Because Placida was watching Gilda move out of sight, Justin decided it best to distract her. “The death of her husband came so soon after their marriage. How is Lady Lilith holding up?”
Placida smiled at him. “I knew you’d be interested. Lilith is doing very well in spite of putting on a show of extreme grief. I suspect that she married the count to benefit her children.”
One of the lords laughed and the other woman giggled at Placida’s words. Justin was wishing he had an excuse to follow Gilda and Philip. He listened to them gossip further about the situation with one ear and wondered how anyone could think that Gilda was a lad. It irritated him that Philip had been the one to follow her.
When Gilda and Philip returned, Philip was carrying the large jug and Gilda was following with an exaggerated limp, no doubt a plan they had devised to explain why Gilda wasn’t carrying the water. In spite of his earlier irritation, Justin had to grin at their ploy.
The lords and ladies were generous in sharing their food supply. They discussed a visit at a nearby manor house, recommending the local wine to Justin and Philip, and took no further notice of Gilda. When she moved out of sight, Justin relaxed. She had no doubt gone to find the caretaker to learn if there had been any sign of Leonardo and Sister Freda.
Justin introduced Philip but neglected to identify him as Count Cedric’s brother in case gossip about the count had reached court. Although Lady Placida smiled encouragingly at the young man, her main interest seemed to be in teasing Justin about the possibility of his reunion with Lady Lilith.
Aware that Philip listened carefully to her gossip, Justin hoped she would tire of the subject. He could see by the speculative look in Philip’s eyes that the young man was used to court gossip and understood what was going on.
Lady Placida’s party was just preparing to leave the shelter when Sister Freda and Leonardo approached. “Here come more travelers in need of respite,” Lady Placida commented. “Is that a nun traveling alone with a man?”
One of the lords in her party was clearly becoming impatient with her chatter. “She’s an old woman, Placida. No source for gossip there. We need to be on our way. Let’s leave the shelter to the new arrivals.”
As they watched the noble party move out of sight, Philip remarked, “That was a close one. I can’t believe they didn’t see through Sister Gilda’s disguise. Discovering her true identity would have made that gossipy woman quiver with excitement.”
Justin knew Philip was right in his assessment of Lady Placida. The arrival of Leonardo and Sister Freda couldn’t have been better timed.
After dismounting, Sister Freda looked around for Gilda, but before she could ask, the younger nun came running from the thatched hut. Barely breaking her forward motion, Gilda embraced Freda and almost knocked them both over.
Surprised, Freda laughed, held on for a minute to get her balance, and then pushed Gilda away so that she could look at her. “You make a convincing lad. Not onl
y do you look like one, you move like one. You almost knocked me over.”
“I want to change into my habit,” Gilda answered, heading for the bundle on her horse.
Justin frowned at the two women. “We should get moving. The weather is good, and we can cross the mountains if we get there in time. It’s important that we put as much distance as possible between us and Mainz.”
Gilda knew he was worried about Cedric sending someone after Philip. It was only a matter of time before the count discovered Philip had been with Lady Emma. But Gilda was determined to change.
“I only need a minute,” she said, pulling her habit from the saddle pack.
“Can’t you do that tonight?” Justin asked, displaying more impatience than he meant to do.
“No, I want to do it now. Freda and Leonardo need refreshment, then we will be off.”
Gilda disappeared, and the others became busy. Leonardo and Freda took the food that Philip offered, in spite of the fact that they had some of their own. Aware of his bad mood, no one looked at Justin.
Gilda was true to her promise and returned in a few minutes. The monk, who had joined them, watched her return dressed as a nun with a puzzled look on his weathered face, and Justin glared at her disapprovingly. Without a word, she mounted her horse and the party quickly took their leave of the shrine.
They reached the mountains with about two hours of daylight left. Because the weather was dry and mild, they made the decision to cross. The day they had struggled along the pass in fog and heavy rain was vivid in everyone’s mind. But this time they made good progress. By the time they were descending the other side, the sun was gone, and it was dark as they set up camp.
Justin knew everyone was aware of the tension between him and Gilda. It was affecting the whole party. Fearing Gilda might be determined to give up her assignment and remain at the convent, he wanted to persuade her otherwise. As he was debating what to say to convince her to marry him, she went off with Freda.
Although Gilda was aware of Justin’s eyes following her, she needed to put some space between them. Sister Freda knew something was wrong, but she waited for Gilda to speak.
“I’m in deep trouble,” Gilda finally blurted out at the same time she stumbled over a tree root. Her foot had caught in her habit, and she shook her leg until it was free.
Freda grabbed her arm and led her to some boulders where they could sit.
“Dressing as a lad did make it easier to move. I fear I have gotten used to the freedom,” Gilda said to explain her clumsiness.
“It’s too dark to walk about,” Freda said. Once they were settled, they both stared up at the stars. Freda waited a minute for Gilda to confide in her. When Gilda remained silent, Freda expressed her impatience. “Out with it, Gilda. We both need our rest.”
“I have grown to care deeply for Lord Justin,” Gilda admitted. “He’s wise, and wonderful at understanding people and how they think. In addition to admiring his abilities with people, I long for his touch, and even a glance will make me go soft inside.”
“Yes, I suspected you felt that way, Gilda. Does he feel the same way about you?”
“I believe he does. He wants our betrothal to be real, and I know he wants me in his bed.” Gilda hung her head.
Freda watched her for a while in silence, then said, “You knew from the beginning there was something between the two of you, and yet you came on this journey. I thought you wanted to see how things would develop. Now you have found out, and yet you are troubled.”
“Yes. I’m troubled because since I was quite young I’ve never lived anywhere but the convent. Teaching children and helping abandoned women is what I do. I feel useful and I like that. If I married Justin, my life would change. I’ve visited court, and the life of the lords and ladies there never appealed to me.”
Gilda thought about her recent glimpse of court life. “Before you arrived, we met a group of nobles at the shrine, and the encounter reminded me of how shallow they can be. One of the ladies was gleefully telling Justin that Lady Lilith’s husband just died. She was matchmaking while the earth on the dead man’s grave is still fresh.”
“Gilda, you can’t judge a group of people by a few you met on the road. You know better than that.”
“There’s more. Justin knew Lady Lilith when she was a widow. He knew her very well and for a long time before she married again.” Gilda was sure Freda would get her meaning.
“But he didn’t marry her, did he? Perhaps that means she did not mean as much to him as you do.”
“Or perhaps he wasn’t rich enough for her to marry. She may be richer now that she has survived a second husband.” Gilda was surprised to hear the bitterness in her own voice.
“Gilda, we don’t really know what went on between Justin and Lady Lilith, and it was a while ago. He wants to marry you. And you believe he cares for you, is that right?”
Gilda nodded.
“Well, you have a choice to make. I think you are fortunate, as you are torn between two things you love. Others don’t have such luxury. I know it will be hard, but you have to choose. Then you live with your choice and throw all your energy into making it the right one.”
Freda paused, rethinking her words. “Forgive me, Gilda, I make it sound easy, and it isn’t. Perhaps I’m a little jealous. You need to talk to Justin.”
Gilda smiled at her friend. “I appreciate your honesty and understanding. Lord Justin and I have to concentrate on resolving the question of Count Cedric’s annulment. I can’t be distracted now.”
“You are already distracted, Gilda. Don’t wait too long to speak with Justin.”
The next day as they rode through the gates of the Convent of Saint Ives, Gilda breathed a sigh of relief at being home. Her smile was wide when a few of the sisters and young children ran to greet her and Freda.
As Justin watched her reception, his expression was sober. Then he noticed a few of the girls looking at him and giggling behind their hands. They didn’t leave Gilda’s side, but their interest was clear.
Gilda saw the children’s reaction to Justin. He was a handsome figure, and even Philip did not receive as much attention from the school children. When Gilda grinned at him, Justin lost some of his reserve and came to walk beside her.
As Gilda and Justin headed for the community hall, the same girls followed, staying a short distance behind. The one exception was a round-faced cherub who followed on Justin’s heels, inspecting him closely. She even reached out a chubby finger to touch the fur piece that lined the knife sheath hanging by his side. He smiled down at her, and she ran back to join the others. Justin saw her laughing while her friends patted her back.
“What was that all about?” Justin asked.
“No doubt the girls dared Hilary to touch the rabbit fur. Maybe for good luck, or just to see how it felt,” Gilda replied.
“Are they always this curious?” he asked Gilda.
“Oh, yes. That’s why it’s such fun teaching them.”
“I can understand why you feel that way.” He paused a minute, then leaned toward her to whisper, “You could teach your own children, you know.”
Pretending not to hear him, Gilda suddenly felt very warm. In spite of Freda’s advice, Gilda had avoided talking about their future. Now she was home, and it felt good. But the longing she had for the man beside her had not gone away.
It wasn’t until after vespers and supper that they had a chance to speak with Abbess Ermguerrd. As the abbess welcomed them back, Gilda felt the force of her observant eyes watching them as they related all that had happened at Mainz. Justin spoke of interviewing Count Cedric and Bishop Gunthar, and Gilda filled in the details and made it clear how clever Justin had been in learning that the count hoped to wed another. When they related the story of Philip filling in for Cedric at his wedding ceremony, Justin credited Gilda with realizing that Mariel, rather than being afraid of Philip, had arranged to meet him in the garden shed.
“Clearly you have w
orked well together, as King Louis had hoped.” It did not escape the abbess’s notice that both Gilda and Justin spoke well of the other’s contribution. “If Mariel thought she married Philip, surely he is the one most likely to have bedded her.”
“I don’t think so,” Gilda replied. “He admitted befriending her, but he is devoted to Lady Emma. Count Cedric could be lying.”
Justin was shaking his head. “It is just as unlikely that Cedric was intimate with the lady. He had plans to marry Lady Emma even before Lady Mariel arrived in Mainz. Bishop Gunthar, who also favors the alliance with Lady Emma, would have warned Cedric not to touch Mariel if he wished an annulment. I don’t know the answer, but I’d like to be there when Lady Mariel is questioned.”
Staring at Justin, Gilda held her tongue. She doubted the abbess would allow Justin to observe the questioning of an already unstable Mariel about a matter of such delicacy. The abbess’s next words proved her correct.
“I think nothing useful will be gained by your presence, Lord Justin, and it might even do some damage. It’s pretty straightforward, after all, but it’s also a private matter that Mariel will be more comfortable talking about to Gilda and me. I will have Lady Mariel brought back to the convent tomorrow. She has been staying with a family we trust to protect her.”
Justin nodded, and Gilda assumed the interview was over, but Justin didn’t make a move to leave. Instead he addressed the abbess. “There was a situation that came up while we were at Mainz that I think you should know about.”
Telling herself that Justin wouldn’t dare speak of their pretend betrothal, Gilda watched him with wide eyes as he continued.
“You may remember that after we discovered Lady Mariel in the garden shed, two men approached. At the time I thought they had followed me. We hid Lady Mariel, and to distract the men, I embraced Sister Gilda as they opened the door.” He paused a minute to let that news sink in.
“As we have already explained, when we arrived in Mainz one of the men turned out to be Philip. At the high table that first night, I confronted Philip. Angry that I had told his brother that he had come to Saint Ives, Philip told Count Cedric about the embrace he witnessed in the shed, no doubt to discredit us. To explain the situation, I said that Sister Gilda and I were betrothed.”
