The House That Alice Built

by Chris Penhall

  Half an hour later after accidentally tipping herself into the sea at least a dozen times, Alice finally managed to stand, wobbling inelegantly but proudly across the bay. ‘Look, look,’ she shouted to Kathy. ‘I can do it, I can do it!’ Then she fell in. Clambering back onto the board she managed to stand again, this time with a little more aplomb and balance, and paddled towards the rest of the group.

  Hans waved at her. ‘Well done Alice,’ he yelled.

  ‘Ooooh, thank you,’ she yelled back. And fell in again. Climbing back onto the board, she sat down and allowed herself to drift towards Kathy.

  ‘It’s wonderful,’ said Kathy, sitting down too. ‘But I’m exhausted.’ Their boards knocked into each other and they laughed.

  ‘I just can’t drive this thing,’ said Alice.

  ‘Not ready to pass your test yet,’ sighed Kathy. A small wave pushed the boards together again.

  ‘Time to finish everyone,’ shouted Hans. ‘The wind’s getting up now quite quickly, so best be careful.’

  ‘Oh, pity,’ said Alice, ‘I was enjoying—’

  A wave suddenly picked up her board and pushed her quickly towards the shore, and she screamed and giggled until she tumbled out in the shallows. She sat, shaking with laughter, sand in her nose and eyes. ‘Kathy, that was brilliant!’ she squealed, turning around to see her friend draped across her board laughing uncontrollably.

  ‘I ... can’t … move …,’ snorted Kathy. ‘That was … so … funny … I just … can’t …’

  Alice rolled backwards, giggling, and lay in the water, gazing at the sky, still attached to her board, clutching the paddle with the other hand. Seagulls swept along the clouds and the sea swished gently in her ears. ‘I did it,’ she said to herself softly. ‘I can paddle board.’ A wave poured water over her face and she spluttered. Time to get out, she thought, and rolled over, dragging herself into a standing position. She began to stride out of the sea, the Baywatch theme playing in her head, when a large and friendly Alsatian dog ran towards her at speed, knocking her back into the water.

  ‘Elvis! Oh, no, Elvis! For God’s sake!’ Luis was running towards Alice, horrified.

  She resurfaced spluttering and wheezing whilst the dog gambolled playfully around her, barking excitedly.

  ‘Are you okay?’ shouted Luis.

  ‘What are you doing here?’ coughed Alice.

  ‘I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Let me help you.’ He waded towards her as she tried to stand up. ‘Here,’ he said, holding out his hand.

  Alice didn’t think. The excitement she had felt in the sea overcame her and she couldn’t help herself – she grabbed his hand and pulled him into the water. Then she laughed.

  ‘That’s not funny,’ cried Luis. ‘I’m on my way to a gig.’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me.’ Alice sat in the water, surprised at what she’d done. Then she laughed.

  Luis looked at her curiously then his face broke into a grin. ‘You look like you’ve been enjoying yourself.’

  ‘I have. I didn’t expect to. But I have.’ She pulled the board back towards her. ‘I thought you were doing up that house?’ she said, finally managing to stand up.

  ‘I am. But I promised Antonio, you know, to help pay for his mother’s car repairs. I said I’d do a couple of gigs. I had to bring Elvis for a walk first. He must have seen you from the dunes. He can run very fast.’ They looked at each other for a moment. Alice wanted to laugh again, because she was happy and invigorated, and Luis was sitting in the sea fully clothed.

  ‘I have to go and do work on the house after that, too,’ he said eventually.

  ‘Oh dear, that’s a pity,’ said Alice, holding her hand out to help him up. Clasping it, he dragged her back into the water. ‘Oh, dear …’ he said, as Alice screamed.

  ‘Children!’ shouted Kathy, as the rest of the group began to pack up. ‘Hans says the lesson is over. Come back to school. We can have a drink with him in the beach bar with the others once we’ve changed.’

  ‘I must say,’ said Luis quietly, ‘you look very good in that wetsuit.’

  ‘Really?’ Alice wasn’t convinced. She pulled some seaweed out of her hair. ‘I thought I looked a bit rough, to be honest.’

  ‘You look very, very, very …’ he tailed off, smiling. Then he kissed her lightly on the lips and stood up, pulling her out of the water. ‘I have to go. I will call. I promise. Bye gorgeous.’ He turned towards the dunes, Elvis in pursuit.

  Alice watched him walk away, her heart racing excitedly. Gorgeous, me? In this? she thought. Well, if you say so. Picking up the paddle board she carried on towards the changing rooms, smiling inside. ‘I’ll have a beer, please, Hans,’ she shouted to the instructor as he walked towards the bar. After a quick, cold shower to wash away the sun and salt, Alice pulled her dress over her head and joined her friend. An hour later, she was feeling very relaxed.

  ‘Did you see that sunset? It was just lovely.’ Two more bottles of beer appeared in front of them. ‘Ohhh, magic. Who put those there?’

  ‘Hans did,’ giggled Kathy.

  The bar was now full of people eating, drinking, chatting and laughing, and a band had set up in the corner.

  ‘Oh, live music,’ squealed Alice.

  ‘Ah yes.’ Kathy waved towards them. ‘They play Latin music.’ Then she put her head on Alice’s shoulder. ‘Alice, I’ve got a problem.’

  Alice stroked her hair, comfortingly. ‘Oh no, what is it?’

  ‘Stephano.’

  ‘Why is he a problem?’

  ‘Well, despite the fact we split up years ago, we don’t seem to have really. Not really. No clean break. And now I’m confused as he’s getting all friendly again.’

  ‘Don’t you want him to be?’

  ‘No. Yes. No. Yes ... I don’t know. I should never have slept with him that time. All those times.’

  ‘I think you still love him,’ said Alice softly.

  Kathy looked at her, then shook her head. ‘Nope. Hard as nails me.’

  ‘If you say so.’ Alice looked at the beer in front of her. ‘Hans is being very generous, you know.’

  ‘Ahhh,’ said Kathy.

  ‘What does that mean?’

  ‘We’ve got a sort of bet.’

  Alice sat back and looked at her, trying to be serious. ‘A bet about what?’

  Kathy looked at the floor. ‘Whether you would dance on the bar or not,’ she muttered.

  Alice narrowed her eyes. ‘So, you said I would or wouldn’t?’

  ‘Wouldn’t,’ muttered Kathy.

  Alice looked at her and took a swig of beer. ‘Why?’

  ‘Because you’ve never done anything like that before!’

  The band started playing ‘Livin’ La Vida Loca’. Alice looked at Kathy, wounded. So her best friend thought she couldn’t be adventurous? Or silly? Or spontaneous? The music suddenly made her laugh, and she began to wiggle. ‘I can be dangerous too, you know?’ she said.

  ‘Dangerous?’ Kathy’s eyes narrowed. ‘What are you planning?’

  ‘You are about to lose your bet, Kathy. For today I did paddle boarding, and now I am going to dance on a bar …’ Alice stood up and dragged her friend with her. ‘Is it okay if we dance on your bar please?’ she said to the barman.

  He looked confused. ‘No you can’t,’ he said.

  Hans, standing at the far end, beckoned him over and whispered something to him. They laughed conspiratorially as they glanced towards the women and the barman nodded.

  ‘Alice!’ shouted Kathy. ‘You don’t ask permission to dance on a bar. You just get on it.’

  Alice looked at her friend. ‘But that’s just rude, Kathy,’ she said, shaking her head. ‘Have you ever danced on a bar before? There’s surely some etiquette.’

  Kathy leaned in closer. ‘No, actually I haven’t. I think we should do it.’

  ‘You’ll lose your bet.’

  ‘Don’t care. Let’s go!’<
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  They both tried to pull themselves up, but the bar was too high, and they leaned on it, giggling.

  ‘Why don’t we get a chair and use that?’ said Alice.

  Kathy retrieved an empty bar stool and put it next to them.

  Alice looked at it. ‘Oh dear, think it’s too high.’

  ‘Nope.’

  Kathy clambered up and stood on the bar triumphantly.

  Alice hauled herself to a kneeling position, but the sundress she was wearing made her pause for a moment. ‘I’m going to show everyone my knickers.’

  ‘Are they nice?’

  ‘Very.’

  ‘Well, I’m sure everyone will approve then.’

  Alice looked around. About half the people in the bar were watching them, the other half hadn’t noticed. Flashing even half the bar was too much she thought, and she tried to tie the back and front of the bottom of her dress together with one hand, whilst clasping the bar with the other.

  ‘Hurry up, the song’s nearly finished,’ said Kathy.

  Suddenly, Alice was shoved up onto the bar by a pair of unknown hands. She manoeuvred around on all fours, shocked.

  ‘Sorry,’ said Hans. ‘It was painful to watch. I couldn’t stand it.’

  Alice took a deep breath. The alcohol was beginning to make her feel a bit wobbly. ‘I don’t know if I can stand up,’ she whispered.

  Hans pulled himself next to her and slowly guided Alice to a standing position. A sea of faces looked at the three of them, surprised.

  Alice laughed. ‘I’ve done it!’ she shouted.

  And then the music stopped.

  ‘Oh dear,’ she said, and the room erupted in laughter and applause as the band began to play ‘I Like it Like That’, and Hans took Alice’s hands.

  ‘If Kathy is going to lose the bet, let’s make her lose it good,’ he laughed, and they began to sway together to the happy, vibrant rhythms.

  Kathy took her other hand, ‘We are dancing on a bar!’ she shrieked, and they began to sing.

  Then the barman passed them up a bottle of beer each and the whole room began to sway and sing along too.

  Alice looked at the scene around her bathed in the mellow glow of the lights, and she realised she felt happy. She’d forgotten how to live in the moment, and a day of falling in the sea, and then singing randomly in a bar – the sheer physicality of it – had meant she hadn’t thought about tomorrow or the day after that, and that hadn’t happened for a long time. She held her beer aloft and toasted the room. ‘To today,’ she shouted. And then she saw him. Luis. Standing by the door, his arms folded, smiling at her. She waved at him. ‘Come and join us!’ she mouthed at him. He began moving towards her and their eyes locked as he walked. Alice’s heart began to beat a little faster. She wanted to dive into his arms so he could carry her away.

  ‘So,’ he said, looking up at the three of them.

  ‘Hello,’ said Alice. ‘I’ve had a lovely day.’

  ‘I can tell.’ He laughed.

  ‘I think it may be time to get off the bar,’ she said. ‘I’m beginning to feel a bit limp.’

  Kathy and Hans clambered down, but Alice remained rooted to the spot.

  ‘I have to kneel down again,’ she whispered.

  ‘It’s alright, I’m here,’ said Luis.

  Alice slowly sunk to her knees then tried to climb down, her legs hanging from the bar.

  Luis swept her up and looked into her eyes.

  ‘This is like a film,’ breathed Alice. ‘Officer and a Gentleman. Or Dirty Dancing?’

  Luis laughed. ‘It’s real life, Alice,’ he whispered softly, his warm breath lightly brushing her neck.

  Alice’s feet touched the floor and their eyes locked once again as she leaned into him, smiling. Then her legs buckled. ‘Oh, dear, I think that last beer was one beer too many. What with the sun as well. Mostly the sun, I think. Not the beer.’

  ‘I think we’d better get you home.’

  ‘Luis,’ said Hans, ‘I think you have some company.’ He nodded towards the door where Antonio, Marcella and her two friends stood, staring at them unhappily.

  ‘Are they glaring at me?’ asked Alice in surprise.

  Luis sighed. ‘How did they know I was here?’

  ‘We all know that Antonio thinks you are betraying him with the guys in the Latin band.’ Hans laughed. ‘He probably heard they were playing here and decided to head you off at the pass!’

  Alice could feel Luis bridle and his shoulders tense. ‘Well I came to see Alice,’ he said.

  ‘Did you?’ Alice smiled broadly.

  Luis kissed her lightly on the lips. ‘It was the wet suit that did it. All I could think of when I was playing my set was you falling in the sea.’

  Alice sank into him again, her eyes closed.

  ‘Luis!’ Marcella tapped him on the shoulder and almost pulled him back.

  Luis turned slowly towards her. ‘Marcella,’ he said. ‘What brings you here?’

  ‘I thought you said you were going to work on your house after the gig?’

  ‘I was but I decided to come and see Alice on the way,’ he said levelly.

  Marcella’s eyes narrowed as she attempted a smile.

  ‘Alice, of course,’ she said. ‘I saw you nearly fall off that bar. You must have had a lot to drink.’

  Alice smiled, although the room was beginning to spin a little.

  ‘Just as well I was here to catch her,’ said Luis. ‘And now it’s time to take her home.’ He took Alice’s hand. ‘Let’s go.’

  ‘Oh, what about Kathy?’ she said.

  ‘It’s okay,’ said Hans. ‘My wife is picking me up in ten minutes, we’ll give Kathy a lift.’

  Kathy winked at Alice, as Luis gently guided her towards the door.

  Antonio stepped in front of them.

  ‘Antonio,’ said Luis. ‘What are you doing here? I thought you were off into Lisbon to meet some of Marcella’s contacts?’

  ‘She decided she wanted to come here,’ said Antonio tightly. ‘Anyway, I thought you might be here too, with those guys playing.’ He almost spat the last few words.

  ‘Ahh, so it was your idea,’ sighed Luis. ‘Antonio, just give me a break, won’t you? I wanted to see Alice. My life does not revolve around your band.’

  Antonio looked at her then turned to Luis. ‘Another one,’ he sneered. ‘You didn’t decide to pick up a guitar and join that band then.’

  ‘No,’ said Luis, ‘I’m leaving before you say anything else. I’m not getting into an argument with you. And you should not refer to Alice as “another one”.’ He pushed the door open and led a bemused Alice out into the cool evening.

  ‘I’m so sorry about that,’ he said. ‘Office politics. Again.’ He sighed. ‘It’s complicated. Old loyalties – old friends – a shared history – knowing how much the band means to him.’

  ‘No, it’s fine,’ said Alice, confused. ‘He’s still a bit rude though.’

  The waves lapped softly against the sand as Luis kissed her softly.

  ‘I think we need to get you home,’ he said.

  Alice’s heart beat fast again, but the sudden shot of sea air made he woozy. ‘I feel a bit ...’

  ‘I know.’ Luis laughed. ‘You need to get some sleep.’

  Chapter Ten

  ‘This is my apartment. Sort of my apartment,’ said Alice as Luis guided her through the door. ‘And this is my painting – my work in progress, if you will – of the swimming pool and surrounding area.’ She picked up the canvas and held it above her head. ‘Painting is not my best subject. But I am okay at it. I think.’

  Luis studied it thoughtfully. ‘You look like you’re waiting for someone at the airport and have painted a picture on a sign instead of writing their name,’ he said eventually.

  ‘Yes. It’s for Mr S Pool.’

  Luis laughed. ‘It’s a good painting, you know.’

  ‘Thank you.’ Alice spun around the room with it and nearly bumped into the wall. />
  ‘Careful,’ said Luis, catching her arm and guiding her to a chair.

  ‘You are lovely,’ said Alice, firmly, smiling up at him. ‘Oh dear. Now I’m sitting down I feel a bit ...’ She put her head into her hands as the room began to tilt slightly.

  ‘Oh dear, oh dear,’ muttered Luis, kneeling down beside her. ‘You really do need to go to bed.’

  Alice looked up woozily. ‘Oh, you know, Luis. That’s a lovely idea, really. And thank you. It has been on my mind quite a lot. You know … with you … but I think I am about to be sick, so I think that we will have to do that another time. I didn’t have much to drink today. I didn’t. Must have overdone the sun. Although maybe I did have too much to drink ... I don’t know. Why are you laughing?’

  Luis was looking down at the floor. Alice thought he may have been smiling, or even trying not to laugh, but the room was now spinning a bit, so she couldn’t be sure. ‘Alice …’

  ‘It’s okay. Crisis averted. I’m not going to be sick. Good news.’

  ‘Nevertheless,’ said Luis. ‘I think when you are feeling better we could revisit that idea.’

  ‘Alright,’ said Alice meekly.

  ‘Now I’ll get you some water,’ he said, walking into the kitchen. ‘Is that your phone ringing?’

  ‘Is it? It is.’ Alice rummaged around in her bag. ‘Hello? Tara? Tara? What’s wrong? Why are you phoning so late? No, I’m not drunk thank you very much. I’ve had a bit too much sun today.’

  Luis placed the glass on the table as Alice fell silent.

  ‘Mum said he’d phoned her Tara, not that he’d been to their house. Is she okay? Who was with him? Oh … oh … what do you mean Mum said she had a moustache? Is she a man? No … oh … okay … look, thanks for letting me know. I’ll call tomorrow when I’m a bit more better. Bye then.’ Alice stood up unsteadily.

  ‘What’s happened?’ asked Luis, pulling her to him and putting his arms around her.