“Ah, well, you’ve been worried about Rain. I was never going to hold it against you.” Matesh grinned, feeling better. The slavery they endured hadn’t just hurt him and Rain. It had hurt Zayden as well. His oldest friend had lost his son and Mat in one swift move.
They walked together to the tables and sat down, ready to drink and waste the night. Matesh chugged his first ale. The serious conversation had knocked him off his good buzz and he had to restart. It was a pain thanks to his size. He knew Zayden was going to have the same issue, seeing the male chugging his first drink back as well.
They tended to hop between taverns because of how much they needed to drink. It wasn’t hard for a group of Andinna to drink a bar dry if they never moved on.
He watched as Rain’s face grew flushed over the evening. The deep blue of his tatua made him more interesting to the humans, who tried to talk to him when he walked out to take a piss. Mat stood up, wondering if his adopted nephew needed any back up. Rain just casually avoided the humans, leaving without getting caught up in any conversation about why he was blue or smaller than the others.
“Thank the Skies he can turn into a wyvern if they give him too much trouble,” Bryn muttered, smiling. He threw a wink at Mat.
“You caught me watching?” Mat chuckled, taking a drink of his fifth ale.
“Not caught, also guilty. I was watchin’ too.” Bryn lifted his drink in a silent salute as Rain came walking back in. “Rain’s interestin’, so I can’t blame the humans. He looks different than the rest of us, by a long shot.”
“Also makes him a target.”
“Aye, it does.” Bryn sipped now on his drink.
Matesh realized he needed to handle his business as well. It sucked, since he knew if he left his drink, someone was going to finish it for him. He would need to get a fresh one when he came back in. He also saw an opportunity he couldn’t pass up.
“Want to step out with me?” he asked the rogue casually as he stood up. “I got to go.”
Bryn eyed him. They both knew this was going to be a talk. Mat had more words he needed to say to the rogue and he knew the rogue probably had more to say to him. With Mave not around, they needed to take the chance they had.
Silently, Brynec stood up and followed him. Once they were outside, Mat turned into a small alley and undid his breeches. Bryn was next to him doing the same. They finished up quickly but didn’t bother going back in.
“You like her?” he asked, leaning on the wall, watching the rogue toy with the thick scarf he always wore around his neck.
“She’s nice. Ya know I didn’t mean anythin’ with the bed, though. It’s not like that.” Bryn shrugged. “I like talkin’ to her and she understands what I went through. I understand what she went through, even though I wasn’t there.”
“You sure it’s not like that?” Mat didn’t want to sound jealous or possessive. Instead, he was trying to explain something else.
For over a week now, he had watched Bryn gently care for her and her wings. He saw the excitement in her eyes about it, and how they would talk while they exercised. He brightened her day. Mat tried not to be jealous because it wasn’t his place. Male Andinna couldn’t and would never purposefully burden a female with something petty like jealousy. They needed to handle it between them, the males. They needed to make the terms and take them to the female, to show they could handle these problems without needing her to waste her precious time on their nonsense.
“It can be like that,” he said softly, leaning closer to the rogue. “I’m okay with it. I would…fully support you bidding for a place in the bed.” He watched Bryn’s eyes widen a little. “She likes you, probably a lot more than she realizes. Take it from me. When we were in the pits, everything was so…withdrawn, but it simmered there between us. I didn’t think it would be so strong on her end, but when we got on the ship, she showed me just how deep it was. She’s surprising like that.”
“I’m not the type of male who gets with a female like her,” Bryn countered. “She’s goin’ to be attracted to a bunch of big males like ya and everyone knows it. I’m not even goin’ to consider the idea-”
“You should consider it. Whatever that excuse was doesn’t matter, Bryn. If you like her…you should let her know. You should make a claim and see what she does.” Mat growled, trying to control his own feelings. “I don’t want to be the reason it never happens. I knew I was getting jealous on the ship. My reaction to the bed thing probably scared the shit out of her. I don’t want her thinking that she can’t have anyone else.”
“What reaction?” Bryn frowned at him. “What did you do?”
“I might have taken my temper out on her in bed. She said she liked it, and knew I needed it. You know…when you’re with someone in bed and things get a little rough, and-”
“Aye, yeah. Kian’s talked about that before. So have Nevyn and Varon. Sometimes things get rowdy in bed.”
“She tried to play that game with me, too.” Mat sighed. Oh, he so wished they had played that night. He would love to have her fight him like that in bed. Love it.
She can’t yet, though. She needs more time and distance from the pits. If things went too wrong, one of us would end up gutted.
“Oh.” Bryn’s eyebrows shot up. “And?”
“I stopped it. Warned her. She knew what she was doing, but I don’t think she really realized what would happen if it went too far.” He rubbed his face. He hadn’t expected to be talking about his sex life with Bryn, of all people. Bryn tended to stick close to Nevyn and Varon, while Mat hung with Rain and Zayden. The Company was a large family, but they all had their smaller groups. “Look, just know I’m saying I won’t kill you if this goes down. If it goes down the right way.”
“Ya will kill me if you find me in the mayara bed, Mat. Don’t lie.” Bryn crossed his arms. “Not like I’ll ever be there again,” he added quickly, kicking a rock and looking away.
“She and I made a promise. She can’t bring a new male unless I’m there.” Mat grinned sheepishly.
Bryn coughed, looking up in even more shock than earlier. “You got her to agree to that?”
“She probably wasn’t thinking about exactly what I meant.” Mat knew his primal need to get the promise had driven him to ask at the worst time for her. She probably hadn’t been thinking about anything except his cock buried into her. Actually, he was fairly certain of it.
“Well, that will be fun…when another big male like you joins her mayara.” Bryn smiled tightly. “She won’t want me, so I’m not entertaining this, Mat.”
He groaned as the rogue walked away. He thought he was doing something right, telling Bryn he could try. It looked like his suspicions were off-base, but he didn’t think they were. He really thought he’d been on the right track, but if that’s what Bryn wanted to say, he probably would never find out the truth. Bryn was great at secrets, great at hiding.
Mat almost felt like this was his fault. His jealousy on the ship, his rage over the bed thing. He’d tried his damnedest to hide the jealousy, but then he went and got possessive when she danced with Varon, of all people. Varon, the most non-threatening member of the Company. The priest and the warrior would never try for Mave. They never wanted anyone to come between them. Varon just wanted to give her that first dance, since Varon loved doing those artsy, frilly things.
I can’t let my shit stop her from being with other males. It’s not right. I need Bryn to admit his feelings for her. I need her to know it’s okay.
He just didn’t want to lose his place. He was her first male. He wanted to be her most important and her longest. Part of him wanted to be her only. It was a stupid want. It was an improper want. It wasn’t very Andinna of him and it surely didn’t make him a good male, like he wanted to be for her.
He needed to keep working at making sure she knew she was okay to explore those possible feelings for other males and that males were okay to make advances on her if she welcomed them. He had to make sure he wasn’
t ruining a possibly wonderful future for her.
17
Mave
Mave was laughing as Nevyn took out his third opponent. She was six drinks in and feeling it. She was feeling it a lot, a warm buzz filling her body.
“I’m not super-drunk, am I?” she asked Varon. He held up a hand with some of his fingers out, and she knew it was a dizzy test. The lenasti used to do it when one of them took a particularly bad hit to the head. “There’s three,” she answered, knowing what he intended. He nodded. “So, not that drunk yet?”
Now he pulled out his little blank book and began to scribble some words. He practically rolled his eyes. “No, not too drunk yet. I’ll cut you off when I feel like you’re going too far. Don’t worry so much. Just enjoy. Just feel.”
“Okay, okay.” She held up a hand, shooing his little book away. She wasn’t sure she was capable of worrying too much. She had never felt so good. This feeling was like being carried away on clouds, nestled in warm blankets. She enjoyed it far too much, really.
“And the Andinna takes another down!” someone yelled out, causing a round of screaming cheers. She joined them, clapping.
“Go Nevyn!” she called. She really enjoyed the friendly feeling of the fighters down below. Everyone was there for a piece of fun and their pride. They were fighting Nevyn because it was fun, not because they hated him. He didn’t knock anyone else out like he did the first guy. The next two had been a little more respectful in their challenges.
Nevyn jumped up, flapping his wings to get to the second floor this time. He landed on their table, nearly taking himself and the furniture down as he wobbled precariously on it.
“I win again!” he declared, spreading his arms wide. “Ha! The Andinna legacy remains strong!”
“I want to challenge the quiet one!” someone yelled out. “Maybe he’s easier!”
There was laughter throughout the bar. Mave eyed Varon, who shrugged, jumping down without a blink. She shook her head in a bit of shock as Nevyn jumped next to her.
“Get him, love!” Nevyn roared. “You can do it!”
Varon waved a hand casually back at them.
“Does he speak at all?” someone asked near them.
“No. My male is a silent killer,” Nevyn answered, grinning dangerously. When he looked back at her, he winked. He grew more ridiculous with every drink, and she couldn’t help but follow him in the revelry.
“He’s a good male,” she agreed, patting his arm.
Nevyn threw the arm over her, pulling her closer. “Isn’t he? Love him. And you? You’re a good female. I like you. We’ll need to train together more, I think. Too bad no one has challenged you to go down into the ring.”
“I bet they’re worried I’ll declare you as my Champion.” She couldn’t help but laugh and tried to pull away from him, but he held her.
“You? You’re the Champion of the Colosseum! What do you need me for? Plus, Mat would be your Champion, in a heartbeat. Nah, I think you’re well covered.” He rubbed a hand in her hair playfully. “It’s almost a pity Varon and I don’t want a female.”
“Oh yeah, no thanks,” she replied, pulling away more. “I have Mat.”
“Oh, I wasn’t offering. Just saying, if there was a female, you would be a good one. Let’s watch this fight, though. You’ll get to see my lover in action.” Nevyn was still grinning as he pulled her back to him. She wasn’t drunk enough to miss how he protectively wrapped a wing over her anyway.
They saw Varon’s opponent square up to him and go for the first move as soon as someone declared the fight to start. Varon worked faster than Nevyn, sending the male over the edge of the ring into the crowd in one swift toss that left no question as to the strength the mute had.
“Oh, well, once again he ends it without a show.” Nevyn chuckled as Varon quickly rejoined them, also jumping straight up to the second floor. “Love, people want action, drama.”
Varon’s hands moved quickly.
“Think of it like a play! You love theatre. Start treating it like that.” Nevyn was desperately trying to get Varon to do something, but since she was missing half the conversation, she just sat down and watched the lovers have their strange conversation and didn’t join in.
They continued to bicker in their weird way as more drinks were brought to them. Finally, they settled down and Varon looked at her, his hands moving.
“He’s asking what we talked about while he was gone. He could hear bits and pieces,” Nevyn explained.
“How?” she knew her jaw dropped with the question.
“He has really good hearing. Has since I met him. His eyesight is pretty amazing too. He’s never missed a shot with his bow. That’s not the point. Love, we were talking about how you’re an amazing male, and Mave’s not a bad female either. I threw out the idea that if we ever wanted a female, one like her wouldn’t be so bad.”
She could see Varon laugh, but it was so unusual not to hear it. He doubled over in his seat, his shoulders shaking hard. He pulled out his book and began to write something, trying to control himself. He pushed the book to her.
“I hope he didn’t give you the wrong impression.”
“Oh no. I’m not…” She shook her head. They were much older than her, even for Andinna standards. She figured someone had to be within a thousand years of her to be an option. That seemed acceptable, but they were well beyond that.
“See! I didn’t make it weird for her!” Nevyn grinned innocently.
You most definitely did.
Varon signed quickly, pointing at her. Nevyn sighed heavily, defeated.
“He wants me to explain why.” Nevyn groaned, leaning back in his seat. “We’re afraid adding someone to our family will only hurt the new person. We’ll never love a female as much as each other, which makes things complicated. A female is the center, as she should be, but we’ll never treat her that way. It’s unfair to her and mean of us. We sometimes have the occasional extra partner for a night or two, but we always make sure it’s casual.”
“You don’t think there’s anyone out there for you two?” She tilted her head. If she could find one male who wanted to be with her, they could find a female.
“We’re positive and don’t think it’s a bad thing. Varon and I are…complete together. We don’t want anyone else. Sometimes, it’s fun to joke about the idea, to think ‘if there is someone, I want him or her to be like whoever,’ but we never feel like we need to go looking.” Nevyn smiled lovingly at Varon. “No, if we only have each other until we’re old and sore, that’s okay. That’s perfect, really.”
She wanted someone to look at her the way they looked at each other. Would Mat ever gaze at her with so much love? She wanted him to. She wanted to believe she would only ever need her big male, the one who gave her more than she could have ever hoped for.
But she felt a nagging feeling in her chest that he wouldn’t be her only. It made her a little sad and a bit scared. Did she not care for him enough because she thought she might have another lover one day?
“Are you okay?” Nevyn asked, looking over at her again.
“What does it mean if I want…more than Mat?” she asked softly.
“That you’re a normal female. You care for him, he’s yours and he will probably always be yours, but Andinna females have a want, a need to have a group of males. It’s instinctual. Does wanting another mean you love the first one less? No, I’ve never seen that happen unless the first one was already fading or never really loved.”
It wasn’t Nevyn who reached out to her and patted her hand. It was Varon, who gave her a sympathetic smile. He signed something and Nevyn translated again.
“He says many young female Andinna go through this stage. It’s always the strangest when you go from one to two, if there’s a second possible. He says your upbringing would make the idea even stranger, but it’s not wrong. He’s saying…follow your heart. Our gods made us the way we are for a reason and we wouldn’t be this way if we couldn’t
handle it.”
She snorted at the mention of their gods, but didn’t comment. While she didn’t like that he brought up the gods, she also felt an ease to her sudden anxiety over the idea of wanting another male with her and Matesh. She didn’t know who it would or could be, but she toyed with the idea and liked it. It felt right, even though it made her a little uncomfortable.
They went back to drinking as she let the conversation drop. Andinna relationships seemed so complicated. She was exposed to the Elvasi, who thought having multiple partners was dirty and disgraceful. She had never really thought about it at all. She had never wanted more than a quick fuck where she had control, not until Matesh.
“I want to fight the female!” a man suddenly screamed. “Rumor has it, they’re in charge!”
She looked up from her glass, her buzz clouding her mind a little. Nevyn looked excited, grinning at her. He jumped up, waving at her to stand as well. Varon even stood up at the same time as her.
“Are you sure?” Nevyn called out in the direction of where the challenge came. “Our females are just as much warriors as the males and you’re right, they are in charge!”
She looked over for whoever had said it but couldn’t find anyone who seemed to be challenging her.
“Right here!” a male called out. She found him, jumping up to get into the ring. She narrowed her eyes on his pointed ears. He wasn’t a mutt. He was pure Elvasi. She bared her teeth. “Come down here, and show us what you Andinna females are so infamous for! Your males always say we need to be scared, but my time in the Empire proved otherwise!”
Nevyn snarled at that. “You don’t need to fight him. I could go down there and end his miserable existence.”
“He doesn’t know who I am,” she countered softly. “He thinks all females are like the simpering slaves we’ve been forced to become in the Empire.” She smiled. “He doesn’t know what I am.”
Varon nodded silently next to her. He gestured to the ring, almost inviting her to jump over the rail and land below. It would be the first time she ever tried something with her wings.
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