by Marji Spicer
Joy quickly looked away. Oh God. He’d caught her staring at him. She wanted to leave, but then he’d think it was because of him. She wasn’t going to let him know how much she still hurt. Hadn’t she told herself that she wouldn’t put herself in this place again?
Denver straightened, grabbed his beer and took a drink. Shit! Why did he feel guilty? Joy’s the one who caused their breakup. She didn’t want him. Why did he feel like he just got caught cheating?
Susan followed his gaze. “Is that her?”
“Yeah. Joy doesn’t want me,” Denver said. “I guess it’s no more than I deserve.” He looked down at his beer. “I haven’t exactly treated women that good in the past.”
“You’re a good man. I don’t know what I would have done without you. You were so good to John and me.”
“John was one of my best workers. I consider you family. My offer still stands. If you ever need anything, I’m here.”
“I know.” She touched his arm. “I appreciate it.”
Susan blinked back tears. “It still hurts so bad. I keep expecting him to walk through the door. Even now.”
Denver squeezed her hand. “I know, honey,” he said.
Joy swallowed her hurt once again when she saw Denver take the woman’s hand. She tried not to look at them. Her gaze kept straying towards them. Denver was so into the woman he hadn’t caught her looking.
He didn’t want to talk about Joy. “How about you?” he asked. “Are you seeing anyone?”
“I haven’t dated yet. I know it’s been three years, but I’m still dealing with the loss. I miss John so much.”
Susan had dated quite a few men, but it never went anywhere. Denver didn’t need to know the sordid details of her love life.
“I’m glad you’re getting out,” he said.
“I figured I’d have one drink and then head home. What about your ex?” Susan asked. “You still love her, don’t you?”
Denver was silent for a moment. “Yeah, I still do. How did you know?”
“I can tell by the way you look at her. Why did you two break up?”
“We didn’t want the same things.” He signaled to the bartender to bring him another beer.
“What do you mean?”
“Joy wasn’t looking for anything more than a short fling. I’ve never met a woman like her before. I fell in love with her. Joy’s the woman I wanted to marry. She doesn’t feel the same way about me. I broke things off. It’ll take some time, but I’ll get over her. I’ve got a lot of work lined up. Working helps keep my mind off things.”
Joy tried to ignore Denver, but Susan caught her glancing his way. She still wanted Denver. Susan could tell it bothered Joy that she was there.
“I could talk to her for you. Maybe I could get a feel for things that way. Why don’t you introduce us?”
Denver laughed. “That would be asking for more trouble than I want. Joy has a jealous streak a mile wide. She doesn’t want me anymore, but I don’t think she’d appreciate me introducing her to another woman, even though we’re just friends.”
“You’re probably right. That wouldn’t be a very good idea. I’ve been thinking about moving here. Maybe I’ll bump into Joy some time and introduce myself.”
“Really?” Denver asked in surprise. “You want to move here?”
Joy was miserable. It hurt loving a man who had moved on. He didn’t miss her at all. Who was the pretty blonde? Had they dated before? Were they dating now? They were very familiar with acting with each other. They sat together and talked like they’d known each other for a long time. Joy swallowed past the lump in her throat.
“I’m sorry,” Krista whispered. She could tell Joy was upset and didn’t want to be there.
“It’s ok,” she said. “This is what I wanted to be a single mother. I’ll have a baby, that’s what’s important.”
Susan finished her drink and looked at her phone. It was her mother texting her to come home. She was so annoying. Susan forced a smile onto her face. “I have to get going. It was nice running into you.”
They exchanged phone numbers.
“I’ll walk you out.”
Joy watched Denver and the woman stand up. Her heart sank. They were leaving together. Now she wanted to cry. She’d wait about ten minutes to make sure they were gone, and then she’d go home and bawl her eyes out.
“Are you ok?” Krista asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just a little tired, that’s all.” Krista looked at her closely. “It’s ok. I’m going to go home and get some sleep. I want to make sure they’re gone first.”
Chapter Forty Five
Denver stood in the parking lot after Susan left. The smart thing to do would be to go home. Instead, he walked back into the bar.
“Denver’s coming back in. He’s alone and heading our way,” Krista said.
He grabbed a chair, flipped it around, and straddled it. Why did he have to be so damn cute? It was that backward baseball cap thing. It made him look so hot. “What’s up, ladies?”
“Are you losing your charm already?” Joy asked. “Did you get shot down?” She figured he would have left with the woman.
“Do you care?” he asked.
“No, I don’t,” she lied.
Krista excused herself to call Mark.
Denver’s eyes strayed to her lowcut blouse.
“Stop it,” she hissed.
“Stop what?”
“Stop staring at my chest.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t put yourself on display if you don’t want anyone looking at you.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Honey, that’s not helping,” he grinned. “You’re bigger now.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Sweetheart, I wasn’t gone that long. I didn’t forget what size you were. You’re bigger.”
“Nothing’s changed.” He searched her face. His gaze dropped again. His brow wrinkled. It hasn’t been that long. She was bigger. “Are you wearing one of those push-up bras?”
“That’s none of your business nor anything you need to be concerned about anymore.”
Krista came back to the table and sat down. “Mark will be here soon.”
“What are you both drinking?”
“Amaretto Sour,” Krista said.
“Tequila?” he asked Joy with a raised eyebrow.
“Nothing for me.”
“I can’t even buy you a drink now?”
“I don’t want anything.” He grabbed her glass. “Give me that back.”
Denver took a sip before she could grab it back. He looked at her in disbelief. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Straight O.J? Is this a chaser?” he laughed.
Joy grabbed the glass out of his hand. “No, it’s not a chaser. It’s what I want.”
“What gives?”
“It’s what I’m drinking, just drop it.”
Denver ordered a beer and a drink for Krista. “You want more juice?” he smirked.
“No. I said I was fine.”
He watched her. What was up with her? You sure you aren’t ready for one yet?” he asked.
“I’m fine,” she said through gritted teeth.
“Are you afraid I’ll get you drunk and take advantage of you?” he laughed. “It’s a little too late to worry about that.” The waitress came back with their drinks.“You sure you don’t want anything?”
“Yes. Damn it, quit asking me,” Joy snapped irritably.
“Damn, you’re touchy. Is it that time of the month?”
She glared at him before she got up to use the bathroom. When she came back to the table, Mark was there.
A shot glass sat on the table. “What’s this?”
“You should recognize it,” Denver said. “It’s your favorite.” She pushed it away from her. Denver picked up his beer and took a drink. Why wasn’t she drinking? He pushed the shot back in front of her.
“I don’t want it.”
“You afraid you won’t be able to stop?” What was his deal? Before he
complained about her drinking. Now he was trying to push it onto her. They glared at each other. His eyes narrowed. “Drink it,” he growled.
“I don’t want it.”
“You needed to drink to tolerate my presence before. It’s funny you aren’t downing the shots now.”
“I wish I could drink,” she muttered. “I sure could use one now.”
He signaled the waitress over. “Give me a couple of more shots of tequila.”
“I’m not drinking them.”
Denver lined up the three shot glasses in front of her. “Drink up, babe. I’d hate for you to have to suffer around me.” Joy pushed them away. He pushed them back. “God Damn it! Drink them,” he snarled.
“Jesus,” Mark said. “Leave her the hell alone. She doesn’t want to drink.”
Denver picked up a glass. “Open up, babe.”
Joy shook her head.
“What the fuck’s your problem?” Mark swore.
“My fucking problem is she couldn’t stop drinking the shit when we were together. Now that I’m out of her life—she’s not touching the stuff,” he snarled. “I want to know why.”
“Give it a damn rest,” Mark said. He started to stand up. Krista grabbed his arm and pulled him back into his seat.
Krista was shocked. She’d never seen Denver act like this before. The table was silent now.
Denver stood up and stormed out of the bar into the cool night air. Christ, what had gotten into him? He’d lost it back there. He got into his truck, leaned his head back, and closed his eyes.
“I’ve never seen him like this before,” Krista said. “Go talk to him.”
Joy followed him out of the bar. She was worried about him. She opened his truck door. “What’s going on?”
“I don’t know. Everything is so fucked up. I’m sorry I lost it back there.”
“Are you ok?”
“No, I’m not. I shouldn’t have come home. I’m leaving tomorrow.”
“But you just got back.”
“I can’t be here right now.”
“I’m the one who should leave,” she said. “It’s your town.”
“Why now?” he asked quietly. “Why couldn’t you give up the alcohol to save us?” Now was the time to tell him. “Fuck it.” He grabbed the door and closed it.
Joy watched him drive away.
Chapter Forty Six
Later that week, Joy and Krista were deep in conversation when she walked into the diner. Susan slipped into the booth behind them. She doubted either of them would recognize her. They’d only seen her briefly at the bar, and that had been from a distance. She ordered a cup of coffee and leaned back against the seat so that she could eavesdrop.
“I wish I knew how Denver would take it,” Joy said.
Take what?
“I think he’ll be over the moon,” Krista said.
“It must have happened that one night.”
What happened?
“I was on the pill until we broke up. I quit taking it. I was going to give my body a few months to get it out of my system before I went to a sperm bank. We didn’t make up that night, but we sure made out,” Joy said.
“Think of all the money you saved by not going to a sperm bank. I bet you two made a gorgeous baby.”
Joy’s pregnant? Denver would be thrilled to find out the woman he loved was pregnant.
“Hopefully, he doesn’t have a problem with me getting fat.”
“Baby weight is not fat,” Krista argued.
“Well, my ex Mike said I’d get fat and stay that way if I ever got pregnant. He would have cheated on me the whole time too. I have a pretty good idea that he cheated on me the whole time we were together. He went out of town on business a lot too. But I trusted Denver. I knew he never cheated on me.”
Susan made a quick list in her head. Sperm bank, weight gain, cheating, out of town work.
“I guess if Denver doesn’t want the baby, then I’ll be a single mother like I’d planned.”
“Trust me; it’s his baby. He’ll take care of it. I don’t think he was too keen on your sperm bank idea.”
Susan sipped her coffee and smiled. Now she had a plan.
Chapter Forty Seven
Joy finally worked up the nerve to go to Denver’s apartment. She knew he was home now. His truck and trailer were in the parking lot.
Joy took a deep breath. I can do this. Denver deserves to know. She knocked before she lost her nerve.
Denver opened the door. He was shocked to see her standing there. She noticed he held the door only slightly open. He used to open it wide and try to get her to come inside. It wasn’t a good sign.
“Can we talk for a minute?”
“Now’s not a good time.”
“I promise I’ll make it quick.”
“Denver, do you want another beer?”
A woman’s voice. Joy swallowed past the hurt. She looked past the door into his apartment. It was the blonde from the bar.
“I’m sorry for interrupting.”
“Joy…” he said.
“I didn’t realize you had company.” She turned and forced herself to walk away at a normal pace. She wanted to run. He’s moved on. Joy swiped away the tears. I hate being so hormonal.
Denver closed the door hating the look of betrayal he’d seen on her face. Joy was hurt. As far as he was concerned, they’d said everything there was to say. What did she want? To twist the knife a little deeper into his heart.
He sat down on the couch and rubbed his eyes.
“Why don’t you go to bed?” Susan said.
“I’m sorry I’m not very good company.”
“It’s ok. I just wanted to drop off the old pictures I found of you and John.”
“I’ll walk you out,” he said.
“That’s ok,” she smiled. “I can see myself out. Go get some sleep.”
He should call Joy, but he was exhausted. What the hell was he supposed to say anyway? He went to bed.
Krista could tell Joy was upset when she answered the phone. “What’s wrong?”
“I just got back from Denver’s apartment.”
“Did you two finally talk?”
“No. Denver’s seeing that woman from the bar now.”
“Susan?”
“I thought you didn’t know her.”
“I asked Mark about her. Her husband used to work for Denver. He passed away from cancer, and they’ve kept in touch. I find it hard to believe he’d be seeing her. He’s still in love with you,” she said.
“I guess I got what I set out to get. I wish…” Joy trailed off.
“Wish what? That you weren’t pregnant?” Krista asked
“No, I’m happy about that, even if it’s not the best situation. I wish that I hadn’t fallen in love. I’m already so emotional. It’s going to suck seeing the happy couple across from the street from me. Emma was right. I shouldn’t have gotten involved with someone who lived so close.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“I’ll get through it,” she sniffed. “I don’t know if I should keep trying to get ahold of Denver or not. If he’s already moved on, it might complicate his life more. Maybe I shouldn’t tell him.”
“Give him a choice, at least.”
“I don’t want to tell him this over the phone.”
“Pretty soon, it won’t be a secret. Denver will know as soon as he sees you.”
“I know I’m starting to show. Right now, I can hide my stomach with loose clothes. Denver’s been out of town working. But now that he’s back, he’s avoiding me.”
Chapter Forty Eight
Joy heard Mark in the background. She felt bad for depending on Krista so much. She needed to stop whining and deal with her problems on her own. Krista had her own life to live.
“Thanks for listening to me whine once again. I’m going to let you go. I have some things to get done outside before it gets dark.”
“Are you sure you’re ok?”
“Yeah,
why don’t we get together for lunch or something next week. I’ll call you. Have a good night.”
Joy hung up and walked outside. She sat on the porch swing. Susan walked up to her driveway. Joy stood up to go inside. She didn’t want to talk to her.
“Please, can we talk?” Susan asked.
“Why would I want to talk to you?”
“I just want to clear up some misunderstandings.”
“Like?”
“Denver and I aren’t together.”
“It doesn’t matter. Things are over between us.”
“My name is Susan, by the way.”
“Are you were interested in him?” Joy asked.
“Denver’s cute, but John warned me about him. He didn’t want me to be alone. He wanted me to meet someone who would help raise our son Tyler. John knew Denver wasn’t a family man. He doesn’t want kids of his own. How would he treat a step-son? Not that he’d be mean to Tyler or anything, but he’s not family-oriented.”
“He’s not? He joked around with me about having his baby.”
Susan laughed. “That’s Denver for you—a jokester. But can you picture him settling down? He’s a traveling man. After a while, he’d get restless not being able to leave town. Think of all the temptation there is for a guy working out of town. Even men, you trust the most, can slip up and cheat. Having a baby takes a lot out of you. There are six to eight weeks after you give birth before you should be intimate. Meanwhile, your man is out of town, lonely, and there are all these available women in bars. Some men don’t cheat. But some men figure what will it hurt if she doesn’t know.”
Joy thought about it. They did have sex a lot. Could Denver go two months without sex? Has he?
“And don’t get me started on the changes your body goes through. I was shocked when my body didn’t bounce right back. I was sleep-deprived. My stomach was flabby, my breasts ached, and the baby needed so much attention. And, you fall so in love with your baby—sometimes you don’t have time for a man’s needs. I’d say it takes a good year to recover,” she sighed. “You know I was shocked to find out Denver had dated you.”
