by Lucy English
I kept on eye on Toryn and Will because while they were friends, they could, from time to time, rub one another the wrong way. While Will was more restrained, Toryn could be very silly, flirtatious, and spontaneous.
Guests trickled in—friends of Gloria’s from work, a guy she used to date, someone from her yoga class, a couple of our neighbors.
We drank margaritas and munched. I was starting to really relax and enjoy myself when my phone vibrated in my pocket. I picked up.
“Penny, this is Louise at DCF. We had a call from Maggie Lowry asking if you could meet her at Mass General.”
CHAPTER FIVE
“Legend Harris has had a severe asthma attack and had to be intubated in the ER. Ms. Lowry needs to get home to the other children and was hoping you could sit with Legend.”
“Of course. Yes. Thank you for calling.” She gave me the details as I was changing my shoes and throwing things in my bag. When I hung up, Will and Gloria were staring at me. I quickly told them what was happening and flew out the door. The door didn’t shut behind me and I looked back to find Will on my heels.
“I want to come.”
“Sure, yeah, thanks, and uh, sorry, I just sort of panicked.”
We took the T to Mass General and found Legend. He’d been moved out of ER into a shared room. I took a deep breath to ready myself, and smelled disinfectants and efficiency. There was a sleeping child in the first bed, the curtain pulled mostly around so I couldn’t see in, but I hoped there was someone sitting there by his side when he woke up.
Legend looked tiny in the big bed with his face half hidden by the nebulizer. They’d removed the breathing tube at least. Maggie thanked me for coming, told me about the meds they’d given him, and hurried out to get home to the other kids.
“Legend, this is my friend Will.”
Legend eyed Will a little suspiciously, or so I thought, but expressions are even harder to read behind breathing masks.
“Is it okay if we hang with you a little while?”
Legend nodded and looked up at the TV, where the Weather Channel was on. The national picture was hot. Locally there were competing fronts causing the potential for storms.
My phone rang again. Thinking I just needed to reassure DCF that I was at the hospital, I pulled it out of my bag and stepped into the hallway.
“Penny, it’s Conner. Have a minute?”
“Just a minute. I’m at Mass General with Legend. He had a bad asthma attack.”
“Is he okay?”
“I think so. I just got here and haven’t gotten to talk to a nurse yet, but from what his foster mom said I think it’s under control.”
“I’m coming up there.”
“That’s not necessary, Conner. I’m here with him.”
“It’s necessary because I need information.”
He hung up before I could say anything more. Once again he was bulldozing his way along, but I could deal with him and Will could sit with Legend while I did.
I went back into the room, and the three of us sat and listened to news about forest fires in California and a drought in the Midwest. It was only about twenty minutes before Conner arrived.
I got up to step out of the room with him.
“There’s a family lounge down the hall. We can talk there.”
“No. I want to talk to Legend.”
“What?” I sensed Will stand up from his chair behind me. “No. Let’s step into the hall and talk about this.”
“There’s nothing to talk about. I need to ask Legend some questions.” He leaned in close and added in a low voice, “And I need you to watch his face.”
His brash insistence in front of Legend was causing me to boil. I walked out of the room. If he needed me he’d have to follow. He did.
When the door closed I started in on him. “You have to be crazy! The kid is really sick. He’s had a huge scare today on top of everything else going on in his life. If he knows who was holding that gun he’s afraid to tell. You’re gonna make it all worse by trying to force him to reveal something against his will?”
“If he’s in danger, the best thing we can do is to catch the shooter. You don’t get to decide how I interview witnesses.”
“I’m supposed to help this kid. Right now that means protecting him from you. I’m not going to watch his face for you. I’m not even going to let you back in there if I can help it.”
“Have you heard of obstruction of justice?”
“Have you heard of abuse of power?”
Nurses were turning their heads our way but we were both speechless for the moment.
He moved toward the door to Legend’s room. I moved in front of him. “Stop.” I took a deep breath. “It’s not gonna work, Conner. Leave him alone for now. Give me a chance to get him talking, or at least gain some more trust. We can’t work at cross purposes here. It will mess up Legend and you won’t get your information that way. If he hates you, which he will for a stunt like this—and so will I—he and I aren’t going to be much help to your investigation.”
“Are you always so defiant and stubborn?” he asked, but he didn’t wait for an answer. He turned on his heel and headed for the elevator.
When I returned to Legend’s room, Will had found a rerun of American Idol and had a running commentary going, joking about the contestants and judges. Legend looked wide awake and was watching Will as much as the television.
I sat on the other side of the bed and explained to Legend that Detective Conner sent his best wishes. He was interested in knowing a little more about James so they could figure out who killed him, but I’d let him know that Legend wasn’t talking and he said okay.
The three of us watched American Idol awhile more until Legend looked sleepy. The light filtering through the blinds was starting to fade and the noise level outside the doorway seemed to drop. The nurses set me up with a recliner, and I insisted Will go home. He resisted, but I told him I really needed him to be rested to support me the next day, and that would be better for me than having him there in the hospital room where I’d just be snoozing anyway.
I sat by Legend’s bed and read him some books I’d scrounged from the family lounge. They were probably a bit young for him, but he snuggled down in his bed a little and I saw his breath deepen. His eyes rested on my face and when I offered my hand he held it. I sat there for a long time after he drifted off, holding his hand and humming a lullaby.
I spent a restless night in the recliner with nurses in and out of the room, lights turning off and on, and the sounds of machines and the staff checking on the patient on the other side of the room. But Legend knew I was there, and I wasn’t going to leave him alone. I realized, lying half-awake that night, that keeping my work with Legend in the office, in the straightforward realm of social-work-as-expected, wasn’t happening. In fact, it hadn’t really been happening from the start. It made me nervous because over-involvement was what had gotten me in trouble the previous winter when I was helping a girl named Dani. But Vivian wasn’t freaking out this time. Maybe because, at least until tonight, my time with Legend was all billable to the state.
Still, I was glad to leave the murder to the police. That was another difference from working with Dani. Her mom was murdered, but it was ruled an accidental death and I had to help prove that it was murder. The police weren’t really involved, so I had to try to solve a crime—not something I had the training for. This time, for better or for worse, Detective Conner was all over it. On the upside, while I couldn’t avoid Conner’s pestering, my involvement stopped way short of conducting a murder investigation. I could focus on my job and Legend.
The next morning Legend’s color looked better and the doctor came early. She said he was doing well, the steroids were effective, and he could be released that day. She instructed me on his ongoing meds and the importance of carrying an inhaler. It wasn’t clear what had triggered the attack, so she suggested keeping notes on when his asthma was better and worse, paying attention to we
ather, food, and stress. I knew Maggie couldn’t stay on top of that careful kind of tracking and I couldn’t either. This was one more way that Legend was losing out by not having a parent figure to care for him.
Desiree was allowed three visits per week. Detective visits didn’t count, so we were able to go see her again on Friday.
We swaggered up like old pros this time, though not particularly cheerful old pros. I wondered how long we’d have to keep making these visits, and I wondered whether Legend had hope that Desiree would get out soon or whether he felt like she’d be in jail forever.
I totally understood Legend’s silence in some ways. When I was little I used to get quiet for periods of time too. As an adult I sometimes wanted to. But he hadn’t spoken in ten days and it was getting a little frustrating. I knew he wanted to communicate at least a little, but for him maybe there was no middle ground. Maybe he was afraid he’d say things he didn’t want to say. I couldn’t read his mind and I wondered how often I misinterpreted his signals. I felt like I was getting to know him, but I wanted to really know him and be better able to help him.
We arrived at the jail and I took a deep breath as I opened the door for Legend.
Desiree was looking a little more ragged than the last time. Her false eyelashes were gone, giving her a tired look, and she clung to Legend for a long time.
“Baby,” she said, “I’m so glad you’re here. I think about you all the time. You feelin’ okay now?”
Legend looked her in the eyes and tried for a reassuring smile.
She turned to me. “I know I don’t really know you, Miss Wade, but I need your help. I can’t take care of my boy from here and I’ve got no way of knowing that foster mother. My baby brother loves Legend, but can’t be no kind of parent.”
“I know you got an update on Legend’s hospital visit,” I said. “The new medications are working well and he carries his inhaler now. He’s not in any danger.” I didn’t want to dwell on it in front of Legend. “Did Gabe tell you we met him at the playground so he could spend some time with Legend?”
“He did. That’s good. But he not watching over Legend and you are.”
“I’m trying. There’s only so much I can do, but tell me what you need and I’ll work with Maggie and his school.”
Legend was looking a little bored and I gave him a dollar to continue the vending machine tradition.
“He a smart boy. Loves to read. That school, they don’t always see him for the smart boy he is. Now he not talking. I worry they gonna treat him like a dummy.”
“I haven’t met his teacher. Does he have a good one this year?”
“She okay. She busy. They all real busy.”
“Okay. He should be getting a progress report soon. I’ll bring it in and see if you think I should talk to the teacher. Would that help?”
“That family. They all white?”
“They are.”
“Well, I obviously know you white too, but maybe you seen a thing or two in your job.”
“I have.”
“Cops harass black boys walking down the street. Teachers treat them like they dumb, security follow them in the mall. He’s young still, but it happens early.”
I nodded, sure I knew what she meant, but not sure what I could do.
“They don’t have to be getting in trouble for their self-esteem to be hurt. You know what I mean?”
“I do know what you mean. I can help by supporting his self-esteem. I’m trying to do that now, of course.”
“Since you can’t get me outta here, I guess we discussed all you can do.”
She looked at Legend, taking his time at the vending machine.
“He been through a lot of loss,” she said. “We been through a lot of loss. We should be together. This just ain’t right. That detective come round asking about Tasha and Martel. If he catch who did this, Legend and I be safe, but I’d still be in here for James’s drugs.”
“Have you met with the public defender?”
“Yeah, and she an okay lady. Maybe she can get bail down so I can get out. I got no record and I don’t deal drugs. The County wastin’ money keeping me here.”
Legend returned and sat by Desiree while he ate M&M’s. He hugged her goodbye and the two of us left. When we walked out of the building he looked up and frowned. The air felt a little heavy. I wondered what he knew.
Maggie was due to meet us back at the office. She wasn’t there when we arrived, but Will was there to meet me for lunch. I felt too tired and useless to be good company. He was in the reception area chatting with Lynnie when we walked in.
“Will was telling me about how you almost rode a bike into the lake when you visited Madison in the spring.” Lynnie smiled, clearly enjoying feeling like an insider to my personal life.
“Yeah, good times,” I said. I smiled at Will.
Legend was drooping. Between the heat and the visit to Desiree he was worn out.
“Great to see you, Legend,” Will said. “It sounds like they got those fires under control in California, huh? That smoke must have been awful. Did you know that in Mexico City sometimes the weather is listed as ‘smoke’ just like ours might be ‘fog’? I saw it on the weather app on my phone.”
Legend looked up at Will, gave him a blink and almost a smile, then looked down the hall toward my office.
“Let’s go sit in my office,” I said. “Maggie’ll be here soon.”
Inside my office Legend went to his “safe” under the couch and pulled out his envelope. He carefully pried open the seal and pulled out his pictures. He sorted through and found the one he was looking for. He set it on the table.
We heard Maggie’s voice in the hallway. Legend set his envelope on top of the drawing and looked at me.
“Do you want me to put everything away in the safe for you?”
He nodded and went to the door, giving us each a glance goodbye.
When they were gone I picked up the envelope. Legend had drawn his picture at the very bottom of the page. There was a tiny stick figure with a box around it and a bigger stick figure next to a tree. There were gray clouds above the figures and some horizontal lines I took to be wind.
Will and I stared at it for a minute.
“Do you think we could adopt him?” Will asked.
I turned squarely toward him and tried to keep my face neutral.
“No.” Was he nuts? “I don’t think that would really be best for anyone—do you?”
“He needs parents! Where’s he going to get them?”
“I don’t know, but I wouldn’t give him the stability he needs. My job is to create stable paths for other people, not to be that myself.”
Will tilted his head a little, as if he wanted me to reconsider.
I gestured my head toward the door. “Can we go eat?”
CHAPTER SIX
Will and I were still lounging in bed on Saturday morning when my phone rang. I was paranoid about something happening to Legend so I hastily answered without looking at who it was. Mistake. It was Marco.
“Good morning, beautiful,” he said. My volume was loud enough for Will to hear.
Will’s jaw went down, his eyebrows went up, and he sat up in bed and watched me.
I sat up too.
“Good afternoon? What is it there?” I wanted to establish for Will that the man wasn’t close by.
“Afternoon indeed and I’m drinking wine in a cafe reflecting on how much better it would be if you were here with me.”
I switched ears with the phone and tried to surreptitiously lower the volume with the side button. “Well, that would be a long shot, I guess, since you’re a jillion thousand miles away.” I was sweating a little, trying to walk the line between upsetting one or the other. My first allegiance had to be to Will—he was in my bed after all. I was split between my left ear and my right hand, which I reached toward Will in reassurance. He didn’t take it.
“Hey,” I said, “I can’t really talk right now but is your tr
ip going okay?”
“It’s wonderful but I can’t wait to come home to you.”
Yikes! I looked at Will. He heard. He turned his back to me, put on his shorts, and got up. I needed the right response to calm Will while not confusing and pissing off Marco.
“That’s a funny thing to say. I hope the rest of your trip is great. I’ve gotta go.” I disconnected without waiting for whatever he would say next. Sure, I wanted to know, but I didn’t want Will to!
Three steps took him out of the bedroom door. Ranger jumped off my bed and followed him.
“Will?”
Nothing.
“I’ll tell you about that. He was tipsy and reminiscent. It isn’t something going on—just an ex.”
“That sounded current.”
“I know, but he’s traveling and lonely and drunk. He and I broke up over the winter. Old news.”
“Over the winter? You were seeing me then!” He slammed the coffee pot into the sink. I cringed for the break but it didn't come. He turned on the water.
“Well, not that seriously!”
“I had no idea you were seeing someone else.”
“I never said I wasn’t and it wasn’t that big of a deal. It wasn’t serious. We broke up.”
“And now he clearly wants to get back—or maybe he isn’t even clear that you’re broken up from what that sounded like.” He continued making the coffee with such ferocity I couldn’t watch. I backed out of the kitchen and stood on the other side of the breakfast bar.
“He’s clear.”
“So why didn’t you say ‘I can’t talk, I’m here with my boyfriend’!”
“Who says that? It’s kind of mean!”
“A woman who wants to be clear that she’s seeing someone exclusively says that. Are you seeing me exclusively now?”
“Yes!”
He had the coffee brewing and stood with his hands on his hips staring at me like someone who was lying through her teeth at him.
“Yes!” I repeated, but this time my voice went high and I sounded like I was lying. For some reason that happens when I’m accused of lying, I immediately start sounding like I am, even though I’m not.
