I guess I don’t understand that if it’s meant to be, what’s the difference in how quickly you become bound? I’m sure there’s more to this than I’ve picked up on so far; mating, bonding, sharing hearts, reviving demons. . . I need a notepad. I’ll bring this back up later tonight when we have more time to talk about it. We’re coming up on the fence leading into Nathan’s backyard, and as far as I know, Scott may hear through walls. Switching topics, I ask, “So, Nathan. You’ve been alive for fifty-plus years?”
“Yes.” He raises an eyebrow. “Where’d that come from?”
I shrug, stating, “You’ve been alive for a long time and may live over ninety.”
“That’s not long. In the Bible, people used to live for over eight-hundred years. Now, that is a long life.”
True. “But, that’s how you ended up sleeping with so many girls?”
He snorts. “That’s where you’re going with this.” Smirking, he states, “You’re going to make me say it aren’t you?”
I eye him. “Say what?”
Fixing me with a glare from the corner of his eyes, he drones, “Don’t, Tracey.”
“Ugh. Don’t say that, Nathan. Okay, I’ll drop it. But you’re old. Can you show me how you really look?”
He gestures to himself. “This is how I look. I’ll look like this for a few decades with these being my prime years.” He stretches, and I notice another scar on his inner right arm. He follows my gaze. “I got this ten years ago from a pearl machete. I was in a fight with something else that was trying to kill me. No big deal. I won,” he says, shrugging.
We enter the backyard, and I’m running out of time to get out the rest of my questions. “How many people have tried to kill you, and how many people want to kill you? How many fights have you been in? Is it like a pleasure for you? How often does this happen? How many scars do you have?”
Nathan looks down at me, again, from the corner of his eyes. I associate that look with him being uncomfortable or when something is on his mind. This time, it might be both. “I’m only answering the last question. I have three. The one on my neck, the one on my arm, and another on my leg. That one’s the worst. You probably won’t see it until you can make it go away.”
“Until I can make it go away?”
“When our bodies become more acquainted, we develop the gift to heal each other. I’ll be able to talk to you if you’re far from me, like in another state or country, and find you anywhere. Like a mate radar.”
“Okay, that’s cool!”
“It is. But I don’t anticipate anything happening where I’d need to find you or you being that far away from me.” He opens the back door, and I pass him to enter his home. “Scott and Glen are waiting for us in the basement.”
“Okay. Let’s stop by the kitchen and get something to drink.”
“Of course.” He kisses my neck as he passes me to the kitchen.
perfection
Nathan and I descend the stairs into the basement, and Scott and Glen haven’t noticed us, caught up in their quarrel. “You two have to have something better to do,” I say, walking into the living room space of the finished basement.
“We do!” Glen starts, “But Scott can’t figure out his moods. One moment, he’s cool, and we’re happy. The next, he’s an asshole. He has me jumping through hoops. Fiery hoops!” She crosses her arms, throwing herself back on the couch.
“Hi, Glen. Wassup, Scott?” Nathan greets. Pulling me down with him on the free couch, I sit between his legs, and we lean back on its arm.
“Hi, Nathan,” Glen flirts. Or rather, I just interpret it that way by her batting eyes and sweet smile. It gets under my skin when she greets him that way. But, then again, I could be over thinking it.
“What are you two watching?” Nathan asks. There’s so much tension in the room I can bottle some of it.
“I’ve just been flipping through the channels, not paying attention because of arguing with Scott,” Glen answers sweetly.
Scott jumps up from the love seat and takes a single stride over to Glen sitting on the long sofa. He bends over and whispers something in her ear, forcing her smile to fade, then goes back to the love seat and keeps his eyes on her.
I need to talk to him for a minute, Nathan says in my mind.
Kay. I lay on his chest, observing Glen, wondering the right thing to say. I’m powerless against my guilt, abandoning my promise to tell each other everything no matter what.
“Tracey?” she calls, and I’m eager to give her my attention. “You spent the night out here?”
Oh. . . “Umm, yes. Why?”
Over her sadness, she leans forward and studies me. “I thought you were at your house.”
“We were. Just not last night.” Curving the direction of this conversation, I ask, “What did you two do today?”
“Let’s see.” She tilts her head back as she thinks. “I yelled, and Scott cussed. Then I cussed, and Scott yelled. Then I walked off, and he came after me. He was okay. He said some nice things. I said some nice things. Then he started yelling again.”
I stare at her with my brows pulled tight and my lips in a thin line. She throws her head back against the couch, covering her reddening face with her hands, and spews out a string of cuss words.
Scott stares at her, eyes a churn of grays, blacks, and blues.
Nathan looks down at me from observing them. I’m fixing it. He pinches his nose and adds, For now anyway. Give it five minutes, and he’ll move over to the couch she is on and hold her as I’m holding you.
Let’s hope so. If this turns out okay, I’m going to take a nap. You mind if I sleep on you?
Never. I’ll wake you in a little to go back out.
My eyes droop, and Nathan taps me and nods to our left. Scott gets up, walks over to Glen, and does just as Nathan said. Glen accepts him with open arms and a wide smile.
I turn into Nathan to fall asleep to his scent. He wraps an arm around me, and I doze off.
Vivid dreams fill the darkness of my mind. My lips consumed by the warmth of another’s, I breathe, inhaling smug, cold, lifeless air that forces my eyes open. My lids slowly separate, and I peer into dark, eerie eyes. I regret the familiarity of their holder. The death in them, the life I breathe in them, the hurt nearly bleeding from them. Strong hands strapped around my throat choke me, and I scream, begging Nathan to let go, clutching his wrists in my hands. He’s hurting me, and though I’m uncomfortable, I don’t stop, I won’t stop kissing him. I can’t.
He blinks. The night-blue settling in his irises further strangles me with their emptiness, filling me with more fear. That, if I seize this next breath, it will be my last.
My rattling fear settles with Nathan rubbing my arms, sucking it away by his simple touch. Thankful, I close my eyes, now able to break out of our kiss. I’ll never understand how it is so easy to wipe away a feeling, but the comfort is unbeatable. I’d give it up for nothing.
Something rips the rough hands from my neck, nails scraping my skin on his release. My eyes shoot open, and instead of seeing his departure, I look up at a star-filled night sky. The moon’s big, serving as a pupil circling a cluster of stars. Deep, soft, sorrowful moans pour into the night air, causing me to twist around in search of the person or people who make them. It is I, my body; sprawled around the ground are many of me, writhing in pain, groaning in agony. I race to one of me, kneeling beside her. “Tell me,” I encourage, seeing her mouth move, making inaudible words.
“Not this,” she slowly breathes. “Not you.”
I take her hand, begging, “What?” A breeze brushes across my temple and as the girl speaks, she disintegrates, blowing away with the wind. It all blows away quicker than it came.
Another gust blows past me, and with it sings, Wake up, Tracey.
Nathan. I love hearing his voice.
Tracey, wake up.
My eyes flutter, meeting those that are brown. I stretch off my creepy dream and rake my fingers through my hair. I’m
ready. I take the hand he offers and follow him to the stairs.
“Hey, where are you two going?” Glen asks, wrapped in Scott’s arms.
“To watch the sunset.” Dammit! I grumble, wishing I could take it back.
“Aww, Scott, let’s go. That sounds like the perfect ending to a crazy day.”
I had to open my big mouth and ruin mine and Nathan’s moment alone.
It’s okay, Tracey. The beach is big enough. We’ll find a spot farther away from them. Stop getting upset. I don’t like what it does to me.
“Okay.” I breathe, heading upstairs. “I take it we’re headed to the beach instead of the spot you mentioned last night?” I ask.
Nathan stops by the hall closet for blankets and by the kitchen for snacks. Returning to my side, he nods. “We’ll find somewhere to lie sixty yards from them. They won’t ruin our evening.”
Glen and Scott head out before us. No sooner than they step outside, the bickering starts. Neither of them even said anything. “Hey, guys!” I break in as a distraction. “Check out the beauty of that sunset.” It’s huge, heading toward the water. Big enough to silence Glen and Scott’s arguing.
“Brilliant,” Nathan compliments.
“Thanks. Let me carry the snacks and you carry the blankets.” We swap, and head out to the beach, hand in hand.
Scott and Glen go to the right, and we go left. I love Glen. But the arguing and bickering over petty things, like who is responsible for turning off the TV, is just annoying. Knowing she doesn’t know the truth about what’s going on with Scott makes it more annoying than hearing them bicker. I understand it’s up to the man, or male Sephlem, as Nathan would say, to determine what his mate’s able to handle, what information he can and cannot tell. But considering Scott hasn’t told her anything, would that mean she could handle none of it? Or is Scott just too weak?
I don’t see what’s so bad about it all. I accept Nathan, no matter what he is―and knowing Glen and Scott are bound, so should she. Unless I’m looking at this all wrong.
Being bound. . .? Like, linked? The mating draws us together and the bounding links us possibly. So, Glen and Scott are a broken link? Or is it that, because Scott didn’t offer her the choice to delve in their mating like Nathan did for me, they’re battling with their control? Scott lost all control, fully giving into the mating, and that’s what’s unhealthy for them? But how does one not fully give into their mating? Why refrain from doing so if you’re designed for this one person forever?
Glen isn’t the easiest to convince, she’s been through a lot with the death of her father, the unhealthy transformation of her mother, her doped up sister, and to add in, her step-dad. . . It could be her past and her lack of trust that’s keeping Scott from telling her the entire truth. So the question remains, why’d he give in? Something with this is not adding up.
Nathan watches the water as we stroll to a spot on the beach. I’m never aware of when he’s in my head, but he looks occupied with his own thoughts for now. He never brought up this bonding thing until today, and him doing so was only because I mentioned Glen’s snowflake. He said he’d told me everything about this, but obviously not. Could he not want to be bound to me? Scott doesn’t want it, and he dived in headfirst. Nathan wants to be with me, but he never wakes up with me, and I doubt we’ve slept through the night together because though I’m unconscious, I can tell he’s missing. Like sleeping without blankets. Based on what he said, besides the inclusion of sex, bonding requires key phases we’ve not participated in except mating―the only one we didn’t have a choice in. Nathan wants me as bad as I want him, but maybe not like I think.
This realization makes me second-guess everything. Originally, he didn’t want this. Maybe this is his way of giving in without giving in. We couldn’t fight the pull of us being apart, so we jumped, but maybe we’re still falling.
It hits me. He only did this to eliminate the pain, to cure the obsession, to settle our need for each other. I appreciate it because that ache in my chest and pain in my head day after day was horrible. But there’s a different ache developing now. A force. And knowing we’re purposely lagging in neutral makes it worse.
We reach our spot on the beach, and Nathan sets us up on the sand. I sit on the blanket, and he settles down behind me with his knees propped up and his arms at my sides. None of him touches me, which confirms he is in my mind. His distance allows himself to not impact my thoughts. I ignore my insecurity for now, but we will talk about it before the night ends.
Far from the lake, we recline on the blanket, and I let the burning orange sun take my breath away, watching it dance on the water as it lowers in the sky. It’s my first time experiencing it, other than catching it while on the go, and there’s something special about taking out the time to sit and indulge in this masterpiece.
“Do you like it?” Nathan asks.
I take a deep breath, not sure about my feelings or his at this exact moment, but I love sunsets, and I like that I’m experiencing it with him. The warm breeze and water splashing against the shore make it even better. “Yeah. It’s nice. What makes the sun look so big?”
“Maybe it is its reflection off the water and it not being so high in the sky. Also, when you look at it, it doesn’t hurt your eyes as much.”
He’s right. I lean back against his shoulder, enjoying the sounds of the water and his breathing. Even though something’s guarded about him, I can’t not touch him. He kisses my forehead. All my confusion and doubts fade, and my thoughts fill happily with us. With our right now.
He whispers in a language I’m unfamiliar with, but I smile at it, loving the sound of his peacefulness. Pleased, we recline, with the sun almost gone, enjoying each other’s company.
A moment of perfection.
astonished
“Nathan,” a striking voice calls from the darkness to our right.
Three slimly built men treading the sand swiftly approach.
Nathan slides from behind me to my side. Tracey, don’t move. Sit right here. If someone comes near you, don’t let me know by speaking aloud. Determination’s thick in his swirling eyes turning night blue with gray edges. Okay? I barely peep a sound when he throws a finger to my lips. Do not speak aloud, he warns. Nod if you understand.
The three men are getting closer. I blink, fear trickling through me, causing my breaths to quicken. I nod.
Nathan rises. Don’t move from this spot. He confidently strides toward the group.
Over ten feet from where I sit, they meet. The wind carries their voices, making it easy to hear them. I look away when the small group veers around Nathan. It sounds as if one of them asks who I am and Nathan responds how it’s none of their concern. They circle around him, and one of them says something like, “we didn’t agree to this long” and “this isn’t right.”
I jump, startled by Scott coming up behind me. Wanting to ask what’s going on, I bite it back as he doesn’t acknowledge me on his passing. With his shoulders squared and fists loosely balled, he meets the dubious crowd and shoves aside one man crowding Nathan. The guy scowls at Scott, sizing him up. But Scott keeps his attention on the man in the middle doing most of the talking.
With Nathan’s studious stance and Scott’s haughty demeanor, they have the hairs on my arms standing on ends. My palms warm, and can I sense Nathan getting angry by a pinch in the back of my neck and what could be a sixth sense connecting me to him.
The wind eases, keeping me from hearing their conversation. I try to convince myself to calm down so I can focus, but my hands are burning out of control. Moving the blanket, I bury them in the cool sand.
The wind picks up again. “No, Nathan. I don’t see a better time than now.” The man in the middle speaks properly, pronouncing every word. His slender head turns to Scott, giving him a tight-lipped smile. “Wow, Scott. Are you bound? Where is she?” He scans the beach for someone other than me.
“Are you expecting death, Ealander?” Scott asks, a hint of threa
t settling in his question.
Ealander looks amused. “Calm down, Scott. We aren’t here to cause you any inconveniences.” He turns back to Nathan. “We have some. . .” He pauses. “. . . Affairs we must discuss.”
“I don’t think this is a time to discuss affairs, considering the circumstances, Ealander.” Scott’s back flexes as he rolls his shoulders. His anger is more notable than Nathan’s is.
“I don’t see a better time other than now,” a guy with dirty-blond hair says, never taking his eyes off Nathan. “There are some things we need to discuss. Some debts we need to be resolved.”
“I owe no debt to you, Ealander.” Nathan ignores the blond-haired man, also keeping his eye on Ealander, who, by his sinister glare, seems to have an ulterior motive. “And, as Scott stated, whatever it is you want to discuss will wait. Now’s not the time,” he informs, calm and firm.
Ealander tilts his head, looking past Nathan. I jump when our eyes meet.
Nathan moves in front of him, cutting off his sight. “Is there a problem?”
Ealander titters. “You’re protective like she’s yours, Great Nathan.” My possibly not being with Nathan amuses him. That is until he flicks his gaze between Nathan and Scott. “Or is she?” Ealander utters, intrigued by the thoughts crossing his mind. “Nathan?” he drawls intriguingly. “Have you found someone? A mate?”
Nathan steps a foot closer to him. “Why is it your concern?”
“Oh, everything about you is my concern,” he informs, placing his hand on Nathan’s shoulder. Nathan shakes it off. “You. Scott. Olar. And Taylor.” For each name, he points, and when he says Taylor’s, he folds his hands in front of himself.
“Do not speak my sister’s name,” Nathan warns in a deep, threatening tone. “We have nothing to do with you. You watch out for your own kind. Maybe if you were doing a better job of that, there’d truly be nothing for us to discuss.”
Plight: A Dark Paranormal Romance (The Sephlem Trials Book 1) Page 15
