by Rosie Miller
“And live happily ever after.”
“Until he starts boning his legal rep.”
“Or following women around to bars pretending he wants to ‘protect’ them.”
They giggled. “Yep, even Prince Charming turns into King Unfaithful, or just plain old King Crazy after a while.”
Justine felt better and she could see Bethany was a lot more cheerful. Knowing someone else had problems too was always a good way to stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Returning to work, she knew that to progress in her Damn Case she needed a visit to the land. Her best hope was to get some eco-scientist to find a rare species, some quirk of the flora or fauna which would make it unacceptable to flood the land and destroy the habitat of whatever was there.
A few days ago, she’d have seen this as the perfect opportunity to get together with Jackson. Now, she wasn’t sure how she felt. The thought of seeing him, of spending a day or even an overnight with him was appealing. But she knew it would just end with disappointment again—with Jackson pulling back and refusing to act on his feelings.
Still—she had to do it—and it was better to get it over with. She mentioned that she really needed to see the land and have an ecological survey done to make any more headway on the case to Colin, and he agreed straightaway. But then he’d ruined it by insisting he had to come along too.
“Great. I’ll be there, and Ellie too.”
“Ellie?” she asked, warily. “Who’s she?”
“Only the best ecologist in the business. She always freelances for us. She has a great soul. We have what you could call a very special relationship.” Colin looked smug.
Well, it just proved that there really was someone out there for everyone. Even Colin had a soul-mate or a love interest. Or perhaps Colin just had the hots for her. Perhaps this Ellie was really attractive. And she’d be the natural type with a good knowledge of the land.
Suddenly she was thinking about Jackson spending a day with Ellie and a white hot shard of jealousy right through her. Stupid. Jackson can do whatever he likes. But the pain was still there. I’m getting jealous of a woman I’ve never seen and man who I can’t have, I’m really losing the plot, she thought glumly.
“It’ll be quite a trip—you, me and Ellie. I think it’ll be pretty primitive out there. We might even have to share a room and…” he lowered his voice—“all bunk down together.” Colin sniggered to himself like he was discussing a threesome, not a business trip.
“We’ll need Jackson to show us around,” Justine reminded him, suddenly glad that Ellie would be there. It might work out well. Justine could pair up with Jackson, leaving Colin to focus on Ellie.
“You really think we’ll need to stay over?” Somehow, in her mind, they would arrive, drive around, take some photos, Ellie would do whatever she needed to do, and they’d be back by night-time. But she realized now that might be pushing it.
“Have you seen how isolated it is? We’ll need to stay a night, a few nights. Who knows.”
Would even the prospect of sharing a room with Jackson make ‘bunking down’ near Colin palatable? She had a sudden, unwelcome memory of what Bethany had said–‘there were hands and mouths everywhere’ and frowned. “I’m sure it won’t come to that,” she said firmly, turning back to her work.
Jackson would be there to show them around. The thought gave her a flutter of pleasure, which she ignored. She would put up with Colin and his wonder-woman ecologist with the superior soul. She would be professional and courteous. She would take photos and get a feel for the place to be thoroughly prepared when it came to putting her case to the federal agency. And that was it.
She made all the arrangements in principle. Colin was right. It was going to be hard to get there, and hard to get out again. Two days seemed the minimum if Ellie was to have any amount of time on the land to collect specimens.
To make it harder, Jackson wasn’t answering his phone. He’d said he’d be out of town for few days, so she’d just have to wait to confirm everything. What was he doing? Where could he be that he couldn’t answer his phone?
She had a sudden vision of Jackson sitting holding hands with a young woman in a bonnet in some Amish-style house—his phone switched off while he played house with his teen-bride and their little baby. Surely that wasn’t it? It didn’t fit with the Jackson she’d seen at the bar who faced down other men and carried a gun in his brand-new car. Nothing about him made sense.
But, she reminded herself sternly it doesn’t have to—you are not interested—and you are not going to get involved.
*****
Finally she got hold of him.
“Hi Jackson.”
“Justine.”
Was he pleased to hear from her? She couldn’t tell. But she didn’t care. She’d had enough of him blowing hot and cold. “I need to talk to you about the case.”
“Sure. Fire away.”
Did he sound slightly disappointed that she was talking work straight away? Well, that served him right. “The next step is a visit to the land in question. I’ll need to go, and Colin, and we have an excellent ecologist who could be the key to preventing this dam. Her name’s Ellie…” she consulted her notes, “Wishaw. So we need a time—a day or two should suffice—and it will be ideal if you can be there too and act as our guide.”
“Hold on.” He sounded worried. “You have to go there? Really?”
“Of course.” Why was he so reluctant? He must have known this. It was in her original proposal. “It’s the best chance we have of stopping this thing before it even starts.”
She started to explain but he interrupted, “Okay, I understand. But, well, it’s a long way, and there aren’t really any facilities, not even a motel. The nearest city is four hours away driving. It’s not an easy place to get to or get away from.”
He wasn’t telling her anything she didn’t already know. “There’s an airport not too far away. The flights from here aren’t very frequent, but it will get us within an hour or two of the land. It looks like we could fly in on a Wednesday morning and out again on the Thursday night. I’m sure you can find us somewhere to stay over.” She wasn’t going to let him get in the way. If he wanted his case progressed, he would have to deal with it. If not, he could take his business elsewhere and she could stop wasting her time.
“You’ve done your research,” he said, his voice flat.
“That is what you pay me for. It’s all part of the job.” She hoped he got the point that this was work, and not personal. “So how about next week? The week after?” She threw a few dates at him but they were all inconvenient.
“Look,” she said finally, “If we don’t go there, we have little chance of winning this thing—us or any firm. It really is important.” While that was true, the more he put up barriers, the more she felt determined to see what he was hiding out there in the backwoods.
“I know. It’s just difficult. Look, I know it’s short notice, but the best time would be in the next few days. After that, the hunting season will be in full swing for a while—for most of the summer—and you really don’t want to be out on the land then.”
“Right. This week it is. I’ll make the arrangements. I’ll confirm with Colin and Ellie—and you can make it then? So I’ll book four flights? And we can pick up a rental car at the airport.”
“Are you sure you have to be there?”
She felt insulted. She’d hoped that spending time with her would be the upside not the downside. “Me? Well, yes. Unless you really have some objection?” Could he hear the trace of anger in her voice?
“I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant…” he hesitated. “Well, you’ll see what a hick I really am if you go there.”
He laughed, but she felt he wasn’t telling the whole truth. But if he was worried about her opinion of him, then that was good, right?
“I’ll risk it,” she said dryly, wondering if he knew how annoying these sudden changes were. One minute he was kissing her a
nd caring about what she thought of him—the next he was following her around, sleeping on the floor or fighting off other men—and the next closing down and refusing to communicate.
“For the car—you’ll need a four by four. It’s some pretty wild terrain out there.”
“Sure. And you’ll find us somewhere to stay?” she asked. This would have been such a perfect opportunity to continue their relationship—if they had a relationship.
“Yes. We can stay at the hunting lodge.”
She had been half-hoping he’d suggest they all stay at his family home. She’d had a picture in her mind of a grand old country house, all faded chintz and antique furniture. There would be his sweet old mother and his gruff father she could charm. She would show Jackson she really was the right woman for him. But, she reminded herself, this was real life not a made-for-TV daytime movie.
“And come prepared. It’s pretty uncivilized,” Jackson added.
“Right.” She made a mental note to take plenty of bug-spray and her own sheets.
“I mean it. You’ll need good boots—hiking gear—and don’t expect to buy it in the town. There’s only one store and that only sells the basics.”
They said terse goodbyes and she sat at her desk, chewing on her nails. It was a bad habit she’d developed recently. Why did Jackson assume she hadn’t got all that hiking gear already? For all he knew, she could be a real outdoorsy type, as happy chopping down a tree and making a campfire as she was ordering a martini in a bar. She smiled to herself. He was right. She didn’t own any of that camping and hiking stuff.
Her parents—adoptive parents—had always kept her indoors as much as possible. They liked it when she was home, or out and about in the town with her girlfriends. They had always seemed scared of the great outdoors. So, a shopping trip was in order. It wasn’t going to be glamorous travelling.
She felt a moment’s pang for the luxury hotels that Alistair used to take her to. She’d loved it when they went away together and she got to spend the whole night with him. It was the only time she really felt they were a couple. She thought about the last time they’d spent the night together. After dinner and drinks, they’d gone back up the room.
But then he’d gone out for half an hour to make ‘business calls.’ She knew he was calling his wife. What excuses was he making? Did his wife know he was with another woman? Did she care? Justine hated that he called her. She lay in the big bed feeling lonely and abandoned, and then angry—with herself, and with Alistair. By the time he came back, she was ready to call the whole thing off.
But he’d bounded into the room, exclaiming at how gorgeous she looked and leapt into bed with her. He’d covered her face with kisses and stroked her hair. “You’re so sweet and uncomplicated,” he’d said. Instead of giving him an ultimatum—or getting up and leaving—she’d smiled up at him.
She let him start kissing her neck and shoulders and running his hands over her breasts. She’d given into the feelings—the luxury of the room, the crisp white sheets, the way Alistair touched her and made her feel so sexy.
He’d kissed her again, his tongue darting into her mouth, teasing her. Then he was touching her, his fingertips tracing down her ribs, her belly, her breasts. He stroked and squeezed her flesh, every touch making her want more.
She forgot about the phone call, about his wife, his empty promises, and concentrated on the feel of his lips closing softly around her nipple and deciding to worry about everything else some other time.
But there was no eventually, and that ‘some other time’ when she needed to think about what she was doing—and whether Alistair was serious about leaving his wife—came sooner than she expected. The awful night when everything went wrong, wasn’t long after that. She’d been so humiliated. She couldn’t think about it without cringing.
But after that she’d resolved never to get involved with anyone like Alistair again. Complicated men were off the menu as far as she was concerned. She was going to look for someone open, honest and reliable.
And yet she’d started to fall for Jackson. But this time she’d stopped herself before any damage was done. Apart from a couple of kisses and some rather strange behavior in the bar that night, she had got out in time.
She congratulated herself, wondering if this meant she was wising up at last. She was making sensible, rational decisions, and sticking to them. And nothing was going to change that.
Chapter Six
“Travelling with my two beautiful ladies,” said Colin. “I’m going to enjoy this.” He smiled at Justine—who glared back—and at Ellie—who smiled sweetly at him.
Please let Ellie fall for his malodorous charms and keep him away from me, Justine silently begged the universe.
“I’m so looking forward to this,” said Ellie. “I wish we were camping though. I love camping, don’t you?”
Colin nodded, and gestured to Justine. “Complain to the booking clerk,” he laughed.
So, thought Justine, this was actually one of those people who would willingly give up a comfortable bed and air con for a draughty tent and the hard, cold ground.
Justine checked her watch again. Jackson should be here by now. She scanned the crowds. Then she saw him. His long easy stride cut through the hurrying people as he headed straight for her.
She looked away, not wanting him to know she was watching out for him. She tried to focus on Colin and Ellie, irritated that Ellie was so pretty. Young, clever, sweet and entirely ‘au naturel’—the young ecologist could be Jackson’s ideal girl.
The hairs rose on the back of her neck and she tensed—he was there. She turned slowly to see him standing right by her. He was looking at her warily as if he didn’t know how she would react.
She couldn’t hide her pleasure at seeing him again—and he smiled too. For a moment it was just the two of them, gazing at each other.
“Can we join the party?” said Colin, pushing in between them.
Jackson’s face closed down again. He greeted Colin and shook Ellie’s hand. Did he linger over it? No—he seemed all business now—friendly but guarded, distant.
An hour later—and after some judicious maneuvering at the ticket desk—Justine was sitting next to Jackson on the plane. Every time he shifted in his seat, she felt the goose-bumps prickle on her skin. And he shifted a lot. He got out the magazine, flicked through it and put it back He fiddled with his luggage in the overhead locker. He took his jacket off and then put it back on. Each time he moved, his arm or his shoulder brushed against her—making her tingle. Did he do it on purpose? But he barely seemed aware of her.
Once the seatbelt sign went on and they were taxiing to the runway, he sat still and tense—his fingers drumming on the arm rest.
“I guess you don’t like flying?” she asked, breaking the silence.
He shook his head. “It’s not that. It’s more claustrophobia. I don’t like being trapped inside—where I can’t get out.” He smiled tightly at her.
“It’s not long,” she said, wondering why being next to her wasn’t providing some kind of silver lining for him.
“I know. I do it all the time. I should be used to it by now.”
“You must really like your hometown.”
“Yes and no. It’s just, certain… commitments bring me back.”
“Like what?” She was digging again.
“Oh, family things, community.”
Well, that didn’t tell her much. She resolved to some serious finding out while she was there. Ellie might be looking for rare species, but Justine would be searching for that all too common one—the hidden wife.
She leaned her head back and closed her eyes for a second, recreating the last kiss with Jackson. She remembered the feel of his lips on hers—the taste of him, and his rough skin against her face. She glanced down at his tense fingers drumming on the arm rest and thought about the feel of those hands on her—the way he held her and pulled her in close to him—the feel of him grinding into her—his desire
for her so powerful. She sighed and opened her eyes again.
She glanced at him as he stared straight ahead. Would he ever kiss her like that again? No—she reminded herself—he wouldn’t—because she wouldn’t let him.
She could hear Colin and Ellie chatting and laughing in front of her. It just made her feel worse—sitting in silence, so close to Jackson, and yet so distant.
At last they were there.
The rental was waiting for them, a big four door red SUV with monster tires. Between that and the plaid shirt Justine had bought especially for the trip, she was doing quite a good impression of a country girl.
“I’ll drive. I know the way,” Jackson said.
“So you can speak then,” Justine muttered to herself.
Colin and Ellie tossed their packs into the open back and climbed into the rear seats.
Justine had brought a new leather weekend bag. A knapsack was just one step too far and she couldn’t bring herself to use one—she just wasn’t that kind of girl. It looked dusty in the back of the SUV. She didn’t like to think of all her nice new bag bouncing around out there. She tossed the keys to Jackson and climbed up into the passenger seat, hoisting her bag awkwardly up on to her knee.
Jackson swung into the driver’s seat. “Plenty of room in back for that,” he nodded at her bag.
She shook her head. It had her camera and her lap top in it, and—more importantly—her cosmetics, and a silky nightdress she couldn’t resist packing, and her hair straighteners and her eye lash curlers. This was stuff that needed careful handling. She held on to it tightly. The contents of this bag were all that stood between her and the wild.
Jackson looked completely at home behind the wheel, scooting up clouds of hot dust as he drove. He’d opened the top buttons of his denim shirt—displaying a surprisingly hairy chest—and rolled up his sleeves. She admired his forearms—muscular, tan, covered in fine, dark hairs. Those same arms had been wrapped around her once, holding her tight for a long deep kiss.
