As he guides me away, I dig my heels in and walk over by the coat check. The clerk is on break, so we’re alone, shielded from the crowd by tall decorative plants.
“What is up with you tonight?” I demand. “You didn’t tell me everything. Tell me the truth. Why am I even here? It doesn’t seem like you need or want me at all.”
“I’m sorry.” Connor kisses me, cupping my face. “It’s necessary. It’s been harder than I thought it would be to play my part and keep you from getting sucked in by this tar pit. This isn’t your world. I never should’ve gotten you involved in my shit.” He rests his forehead against mine, closing his eyes. “I’m not really me tonight and you’re not really you. Don’t think of me like this.”
There’s a pleading edge to his voice. He seems unhappy and out of sorts. The pressure of tonight has put a strain on him that has him worn out from fielding questions and dealing with his mom. I’ve watched it weigh on him all night as tension wound through his posture.
He’s reverted to being controlling tonight, closing off when things got hard instead of being the disarming guy who drives me to school in the morning, and apologized when he was wrong. Instead of the one who wished me sweet dreams last night.
It’s Connor with his guard firmly up, refusing to let me back in. I thought we were making progress toward understanding each other better, that maybe he was changing his ways for the better.
This environment must be toxic for him, because it turns him into someone I barely recognize. He’s that damn blackmail king once more.
I don’t like this Connor, but I empathize with him.
I’m not really me tonight and you’re not really you.
He wouldn’t be here without the strict expectations of his mom. I want to do what I can to take away the look on his face, so I slide my hands up the lapels of his tuxedo and pull him in for another kiss.
Connor takes my mouth with a rough sound, holding me against him.
The kiss gets heated, and he tugs me into the coatroom, slamming the door behind us as we stumble through the muted light, bumping against coats. I clutch his shoulders and he grabs my ass, palming it through my gold dress while his tongue delves into my mouth.
Is this fake, too? Has everything tonight been for show?
The last time we kissed, it was intense. I feel the same trembling restraint shattering as Connor devours my mouth.
I need to know if this is real or not.
Because why am I lying to the people out there while we’re hooking up in private? It makes no sense.
“You’re the cure to this mad circus act I’ve been trapped in all night,” he murmurs against my lips.
An ache pangs in my chest, but I snap my spine straight and plant my hands on his chest to keep him from diving in for another kiss.
“Wait. I’m not just going to play along and be your secret in private while pretending to be your fake girlfriend in public.” As I lay it down, Connor stares at me, his expression hard to read. I prod him in the chest. “Why do I have to cater to you if you’re just using me? Was last night anything or another game you’ll hold against me?”
“Against you? What have I been doing all—” With a frustrated breath, he cuts off and swipes a hand over his mouth. His gray eyes harden. He’s shutting me out, I can feel it. He takes out his phone and pulls up one of my tamer photos he’s been dangling over my head. His knuckles turn white as he grips the phone. “You want to keep challenging me? Blackmail it is, then. I always keep my word. If you want out, you know what it means.”
I fold my arms. I don’t believe he would. “Do it. It’s better than you pulling the leverage card when you don’t like what I say. I’m a person, Connor. You can’t control me like a chess piece.”
He grumbles under his breath and puts his phone away. I called his bluff and it gives me a sliver of hope. I step close enough my chest brushes his body.
“This doesn’t have to be a secret we hide. If you want me, you can ask me out for real and maybe I’ll say yes.”
Silence blankets the coatroom for a beat.
“Does that uptight mom of yours even let you date?” Connor narrows his eyes. “Does she know you’re here?”
I lift my chin. “You didn’t care before when you bullied me into this deal. I don’t need her permission to do what I want.”
Connor traces my lower lip. “There’s just one problem with your cute little declaration.”
“What?”
“I don’t do girlfriends, remember? Never have. Wanting to fuck you doesn’t change that. This is mutual back scratching to get my mom off my case.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“You don’t have to.” He kisses me, lips moving slowly over mine. “But you do want this.”
“Do I?” I sass as he herds me through the room until my back hits a wall.
“You’re dying to know. I saw it in your eyes last night.” Connor drags his lips down my neck and I gasp, tilting my head. “What do you say, my little mouse? Going to let me show you what it’s like to become the irresistible vixen you are behind your phone?”
It’s tempting. He’s luring out the Thea in my secret folder. I want it, but I’m not done pushing my point. I won’t give up. We can have this now, but I’m not letting this go.
Connor covers my mouth with his, nipping my lip. I dig my nails into his biceps. “Well?”
“Yes,” I whisper.
The pleased sound he makes is downright sinful as he gives me one more searing kiss and sinks to his knees. He pins me in place with his gaze, gliding his hands under my dress, up my bare legs until he teases the edge of my panties.
It’s intoxicating to have him on his knees at my feet.
“If you’re such a good girl, you wouldn’t have worn panties like that.” He holds the hem of my dress at my hips, gaze feasting on what’s beneath. “Those are the panties of a girl begging to get fucked.”
I lean against the wall for support as he lifts my leg, kissing the birthmark on my thigh he thinks is shaped like the sun.
“Maybe I just like feeling pretty. For myself.”
His chuckle vibrates against my skin, dragging a gasp from me. I lose my breath as he peels my panties down and stuffs them in his pocket.
“Now how do you feel? Wild?” He leans back to peek up at me. “Only you and I will know.”
I bite my lip. “Free.”
Connor grins. “Yes, baby. Hold your dress up.”
He presses his face against my thigh as he strokes my folds with a teasing touch. I shift restlessly, needing more. His teeth sink into my skin and he licks my birthmark, pressing his thumb against my clit.
“Ah!” My head tips back.
“Love your sounds,” he rasps. “So sexy.”
As Connor teases me, he kisses my birthmark over and over, worshipping it with his tongue and teeth. Then his fingers slide into me and I have to let go of my dress to clap a hand over my mouth, muffling a moan.
“Feel good, sunshine?”
I nod, breathing hard when he pumps his fingers, filling me up. My insides twist into a tight coil of pleasure.
“Who’s fucking you right now?” Connor growls. “Say my name.”
“C-C—” Before I get his name out, he pulls out to spread my legs wider and descends on my pussy with his mouth. As he sucks on my clit, I whimper. “Connor.”
“That’s right, baby. Not Wyatt. Not anyone else,” he says, making my body wrack from the sensation of his lips brushing my wet folds. “All me. Don’t you forget who makes you feel like this.” He swipes his tongue over my pussy. “Who gets you wet like this.”
My knees shake as I’m overwhelmed by the sensations. It’s so much and my toes curl. I can barely contain the sounds escaping me.
“Please,” I gasp, angling my hips and reaching for his head, running on instinct and need.
Connor groans, eating me while his fingers dig into my thigh and ass. He pulls back to catch his breath and thrusts his
fingers in me again, torturing my clit with his thumb.
“Oh my god,” I whine.
“You’ll always think of me, sunshine. Years from now, with your sweet college boyfriend who buys you flowers, with your wholesome husband who kisses you good morning—you’ll think of me fucking you like this.” He curls his fingers, hitting a spot deep inside that makes my body quake with pleasure. “Because you’ll always be mine. No one else’s,” he growls. “I’ll ruin you for anyone else, because I’m the only one who fucks you the way you like it, my dirty little mouse. There’s no escaping me.”
I fall apart on his fingers, tears pricking my eyes, almost losing my balance as I come. It’s way more intense than I was prepared for.
Connor catches me in his arms, putting me on his lap as he slumps to the floor. I can feel his hard dick against my ass as we both pant. His hair is a mess. I’m sure I look just as debauched. He gathers me in his arms, in no hurry to take care of himself.
I’m about to speak when a commotion at the door has both of us jumping. Connor springs into action.
“Go. There,” he points to the coats.
We shuffle into the shadows as an arguing couple comes into the coatroom. Connor holds me close, shielding me with his body.
“They’re starting to notice,” a woman hisses.
“You promised.” That’s a man’s deeper voice, angry. “What do you expect me to do when I see you kissing him?”
“He’s my husband. I’m still married to him.”
Connor tenses, glancing over his shoulder. I can’t see past him. He focuses on me once more with a mix of possessive protectiveness.
“I can’t deal with this right now. It’s already a risk to come in here. We’ll talk about this at home. Do not mess this up for me, Damien.”
My eyes widen as Connor steps closer, plastering his body against mine. “Shh.”
The door slams. I don’t dare breathe. Another piece of the Connor Bishop puzzle slots into place.
He cups my face, staring at me with resignation. “Let’s get back out there.”
“We’re not going to talk about that bomb? Are you okay?” I wrap my fingers around his wrist. “Did you know?”
He’s quiet for a minute. “I knew. Come on.”
We emerge from the coatroom and I stop by the bathroom to check my makeup and cool off from the aftershocks of the earth-shattering orgasm he gave me. As I leave the bathroom, I freeze.
Connor watches me, leaning against the opposite wall. His hair is fixed, my lipstick wiped from his face. Without breaking eye contact, he pats his pocket, where he stuffed my panties.
“Get through the rest of the night and you’ll get them back.”
“Connor,” I hiss. “Are you serious?”
He pops off the wall from his slouch and smirks as he closes the distance between us. He puts his lips by my ear and murmurs, “Be a good girl and I’ll do that thing you like again.”
Too flustered to respond, I spend the rest of the evening stewing on what we overheard in the coatroom with a million questions running through my head.
Nineteen
Thea
At the end of the night, Connor walks me to my front door.
Principal Bishop has already gone into their house. Connor’s mom and Damien rode in a different SUV, getting away with their secret without suspicion because he’s her right-hand man. I can’t believe what happened tonight, what we heard them arguing about.
After all my theorizing, I’ve finally worked out why he was forced to bring a fake girlfriend. I’m part of the elaborate distraction to further hide what Mrs. Bishop has been doing. Sadness pangs in my chest. The truth is worse than all the wacky reasons I thought up.
Connor brushes his knuckles over my cheek. Those intense gray eyes trap me in their hypnotic hold.
“Goodnight,” Connor murmurs.
“Bye,” I call as he walks away. A second later, I realize he still has my panties in his pocket. “Con—Damn it.”
He’s disappeared.
Unlocking the door, I slip inside. Constantine greets me, his whole hind end in motion as he tries to wag his tail nub. He dances around me in his excitement.
“Okay, okay. Come on, I’ll let you out.” I pat his head as I pass by him, kicking off my heels on the way to the back door and sighing in sweet relief as my sore bare feet hit the cool kitchen tile.
So many thoughts swirl through my mind.
On one hand, the girl I hide in my secret folder came out and it was overwhelming…and exhilarating.
I’m not ready to do it again unless Connor and I talk about our relationship, but I did like it. I do want more. Is it messed up that the boy who’s been my bully for so long is the same one who gave me my first kiss and so many other firsts? Maybe, but I’m not going to psychoanalyze myself.
I wanted it, so that’s all that matters.
Opening the door, I snort as Constantine tries to take off like a bullet, but skids on the back terrace and trips into a clumsy roll. He pops up a second later, perfectly fine and disappears past the pool of light into the backyard. I hear him rustling around as I lean against the open door to wait for him, hugging myself against the chill.
My mind goes to the fight between Mrs. Bishop and Damien we overheard in the coatroom. I know it’s important. It feels like the key to understanding Connor and the way his mind works. He said he knew, but for how long? Did he recently discover the affair? My heart aches for him as I picture their family friend over for dinner and how that must have shattered Connor’s trust.
He’s hiding pain behind those cocky smiles and the way he jokes at school. Does anyone see that? I hope his best friend does, at least. I know how hard it is to hide a big secret eating you up and pretend everything is fine around friends. It’s what I did with Maisy when I couldn’t tell her about Henry.
Constantine returns in a seventy pound blur and sits at the back door, waiting for my command to allow him in.
“Okay. Come.” The dog follows me inside and I offer him a treat from a jar on the counter—homemade peanut butter milk bones from a recipe I tweaked. “Take it.”
Constantine crunches down and trails behind me as I climb the stairs to my bedroom. My thoughts turn as I change out of my gown and wipe the makeup off my face.
The light never turns on in Connor’s bedroom. I watch from my chair for a while before I get into bed.
If Connor’s mother is having an affair, why is she hiding it? She has the whole neighborhood fooled. Why is this a big secret?
I would hate to hide my love like that. But even worse, it breaks my heart that she’s sneaking around in plain sight, hurting people. And Connor knows.
Maybe her affair has jaded him, giving him reason to avoid relationships.
“I’m going to figure this out,” I mumble to Constantine as he snuggles with me in bed. I hug him close, stroking his soft fur. He stretches and flops half on top of me. “You big lump.”
My arms circle around him. He’s always my favorite to hug when I’m feeling down.
When I figure out what’s going on, I’ll confront Connor again to find out why he won’t date me if he wants me. Isn’t that what relationships are all about? I saw the look in his eyes tonight. It wasn’t only lust.
And I refuse to be his pawn any longer.
Twenty
Connor
It’s impossible to get Thea out of my head. She’s taken root, claiming every other thought as hers.
I was an idiot to think I could have one taste and get her out of my system. What happened in the coatroom was inevitable. It was only a matter of time before the powder keg between us finally went off.
That light in her eyes, the shyness burning away to reveal what she keeps locked up tight…
Thea isn’t the kind of girl you hit it once and quit. She’s the kind you grow addicted to, the kind that burrows beneath your skin and clutches your heart and your dick.
A weakness I shouldn’t indulge in mo
re than I already have.
There’s nothing I want more than to keep her, both the secret fiery minx and the nerdy stress baker who babbles nonstop. I want to give her what she asked for—a relationship. A boyfriend. That’s not me, though. And I’m sick to my stomach because there’s always the chance my biggest worry will come true: that she’s just like her mom.
I’ve been learning to let her in, to trust what she says. But what if I’m wrong?
After what she heard in the coatroom, she could tell someone.
Christ, how can I feel like this about the daughter of the woman who’s caused me so many problems?
But I can’t stop thinking about the other night, even while I’m supposed to be focused on the Monday night game.
My teammates run and shout around me on the field. The floodlights are blinding. Sweat drips down my temples, stinging my eyes. I’m so out of it that Devlin punches my shoulder lightly as the other team subs out players.
“Dude. What are you doing?” he asks, swiping black hair back from his face. “I’ve never seen you miss a shot so perfectly set up.”
“Suffering.” Between Thea and my mom, I’m going crazy. I drag a hand over my head and glance around. Several of our guys throw me dirty looks, as if I’m the only one who can carry the team because I’m the captain. I sigh. “Fuck, sorry.”
Devlin squints at me. “Was that benefit shit this weekend?”
I grunt in response, nodding.
“Just get in the game. I’ve got your back.” Devlin claps me on the shoulder. “It’s almost over.”
He’s right. If I can stop dicking around, we’ll finish this and stay in the running for the playoffs.
The ref blows his whistle and the game resumes. Family members and a group of Coyote Girls gathered on the sidelines cheer as we pick up the ball, zigzagging across the field to keep it in our possession.
Trent loses the soccer ball to the other team’s striker, and I swoop back from my position at the center. Instinct and years of practice kick in as I mark the striker heading for our goal. The cheers and shouts on the sideline become white noise. The other team’s player fakes me out with a spin, but I anticipate him and steal the ball before he can defend against me. A few of our guys whoop and holler for me, and the corners of my mouth tip up in satisfaction.
Ruthless Bishop: Dark New Adult High School Bully Romance (Sinners and Saints Book 3) Page 16
