XX.
"It is my intention, as an act of justice, before I die, to make myson Gabriel acquainted with the mystery of my married life. It is dueto him and to myself that he should not pass his life in ignorance ofthe sad events and circumstances which shadowed his home. The journalwhich I have written, and in which he will find a record of facts,will put him in possession of the melancholy circumstances of hisparents' lives. Without additional words from me he would understandthe explanation I have given, but something more is necessary from meto him.
"When I married his mother I had no knowledge that there was in herblood an inherited disease. Had I suspected it I should not havemarried her. It would have been a transgression against the laws ofGod and man. To bring into the world human beings who are notresponsible for their actions, and who are driven to crime by thepromptings of a demoniac force born within them and growing strongerwith their own growth to strong manhood, is to be the creator of arace of monsters. It matters not how fair and beautiful the outsidemay be; simply to think of the evil forces sleeping within, urging tosin and crime and cruelty, is sufficient to make a just man shudder.Madness assumes many phases, but not one more dreadful than the phasein which it presented itself in my wife's nature. Her conscious,waking life was a life of gentleness and kindness; her unconscious,sleeping life, but for the restraints I placed upon her, would havebeen a life of crime. The fault was not hers, but it fell to her lotto bear the burden of her curse. I, at least, by rendering herexistence a misery to herself and those around her, kept her free fromcrime. One she committed before my eyes were opened, but itsconsequences were not fatal. To this hour she does not know that sheattempted the life of a human being, and it is possible, because of mytreatment of her, that she thinks of me as a monster of cruelty. It isfor me to bear this burden, in addition to others which have come tome unaware. I do not bemoan, but my life might have been bright andhonoured had I not married my wife. The one consolation I have is thatI have endeavoured to perform my duty. My son Gabriel must performhis, though his heart bleed in its performance. Should the worstbefall, all that I can do is to implore his forgiveness for havingbeen the cause of his living. There have been times when I havedebated with myself whether it would not be the more merciful courseto put him out of the world, but I have never had the courage toexecute the sentence which my sense of stern justice dictated. Thereis, however, one chance in life for him, although I most solemnlyadjure him never to marry, never to link his life with that of aninnocent being. If his heart is moved to love he must pluck thesentiment out by the roots, must fly from it as from a horror whichblenches the cheek to contemplate. Our race must die with him; not onemust live after him to perpetuate it. I lay this injunction mostsolemnly upon him; if he violate it he will be an incrediblemonster--as I should have been had I married his mother knowing whattaint was in her blood. For his guidance I may say that I haveconsulted the most eminent authorities in Europe, and this is theirverdict. Let him pay careful heed to it, for in my judgment it isincontrovertible.
"Reference to my journal will show him that the first visiblemanifestation of his mother's disease was exhibited about five monthsbefore he was born. We were then inhabiting a house in Switzerland,and on the night her fatal inheritance took active shape and form wehad been entertaining a party of friends--one of whom was a foulvillain--and my wife had been singing many times a Tyrolean air ofwhich she was passionately fond. I copy the music of the air here,praying to God that my son may not be familiar with it."
(Here followed a few bars of music, which I had no doubt formed theair to which Mrs. Fortress had referred in her statement, and mentionof which will also be found in the record of his life made by GabrielCarew.)
"After the almost tragic events of that night my wife was continuallysinging this air; I have heard her hum it in her sleep. When my sonwas born she suckled the child--an error I deeply deplore. Thephysicians I consulted are of one opinion. If my son Gabriel inheritsin its worst form his mother's disease, the ghost of this air willhaunt him from time to time. It may not be so clear to his senses thathe could sing it aloud, but he would indubitably recognise it if heheard it by accident. It is for a test that I copy the music; it isfor my son to apply it. Should the air be entirely unfamiliar to him,should it fail to recall any sensations through which he has passed,the inheritance transmitted to him by his mother--if it ever assumepractical shape--will exhibit itself in a milder and less ruthlessform. The physicians aver that at some time or other, if Gabriel livelong, some such manifestation will most surely take place, and that ifit occur in its worst phase, the key-note to the occurrence may befound in the affections.
"This is as much as I can at present find strength to set down. Ishall take an opportunity to confer with my son upon this gloomymatter, but I have a reluctance to approach the subject personallywith him during the lifetime of his mother. It will need an almostsuperhuman courage on my part to speak of such a matter to my own son,but I must nerve my soul to the task. If he reproach me, if he curseme, I must bear it humbly. Once more I implore his forgiveness."
A Secret Inheritance (Volume 3 of 3) Page 14
