by Cara Wylde
“I can barely remember my dreams in the morning.” Patty said. “That should tell you I’m not as gifted as Morningstar.”
“It can’t be a hybrid,” I reasoned. “It’s too hard for them. We need to find someone who’s a natural.”
If Francis was thinking what I thought he was thinking, then he was right. I was on the verge of coming up with a crazy idea. I just didn’t know what it was yet.
“Someone’s who’s human,” Lorna and I said at the same time.
“We can’t involve humans.” Sariel stepped up between me and Lorna, forcing us to break eye contact. Seeing us on the same page made him feel uncomfortable. He knew what she was capable of, and he didn’t want her to influence me. “Mila, whatever you’re thinking, stop now. We’ll find another way.”
“There is no other way. Morningstar is out there, jumping from one universe to another, and I can’t follow him.”
“Oh, now you want to catch him?” Sariel cocked an eyebrow.
No, I don’t give a shit about him. I just want my mother. I didn’t say that out loud. Since I saw her last spring, in that dream, reading on the porch, the sun shining in her long blond hair… I’d been asking myself every night… She’s a dream jumper. Her gift is so powerful that people thought she had schizophrenia. So, why didn’t she find her way back to me?
I pulled away from Sariel and turned to Paz.
“You still have that family tree you put together?” He nodded. “Great. See you in your room in ten. I want to go over it again.”
CHAPTER FIVE
I was close to a breakthrough, I knew it. I memorized my family tree and went over it in my head a few times a day. I knew every name, every birth, and every death. I mulled over this alone, as I knew no one else agreed to my plan. I was going to bring a human into this. Someone gifted. Someone from my own family, on my mother’s part. But who?
“Corri, I need you to do something.”
“Anything, Mistress.”
I was in Anthropology with Sariel, Lorna, and Klaus. If Paz had been here, he would’ve read my thoughts. It was a good thing he wasn’t. I pulled out a post-it and scribbled five names from memory.
“Check on these people. See where they live, how they’re doing… you know, stuff like that.”
She flew around my head, then landed on top of the post-it, reading the names under her feet.
“Any idea where I should start?”
“Try Bulgaria.”
“On it.” She grabbed the post-it, rolled it up like a scroll, and zapped away.
“What are you up to?” Sariel leaned in.
“Nothing.”
“It can be dangerous.”
“Oh, shush it,” Lorna hissed at him. She was excited I’d finally gotten off my ass and did something. She didn’t care about dangerous. “You’re all coming to Mabon, right?”
I smiled. “A proper Mabon party in the forest. Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
“Party girl…”
“You know it.”
* * *
Being a revenant had its perks.
I couldn’t feel the cold, so I could dress however I wanted. Corri was still away on her little mission, so there was no one to pester me that no, a proper lady shouldn’t attend a party in a leather bra and a mini skirt. I might have drunk one too many Margaritas while putting on my makeup and fluffing up my long, blue hair. I wanted to show off my tattoos. After all, why the hell did I have them? So I could look at them in the mirror? I pulled on my long leather boots, finished my drink, then teleported right in the middle of the party.
No professors allowed. Just as I liked it. After a whole year of no parties or celebrations, they knew we needed to blow off some steam. They were probably having their own Mabon party somewhere inside the walls of the Academy. There were plenty of secluded room that could be turned into orgy chambers.
“It’s not like that,” Paz said, hugging me from behind. He’d read my thoughts again. “They’re decent people with families at home.”
I rolled my eyes and swayed my hips with the music.
“I wasn’t being serious.”
“I don’t know what you’re being, lately.”
“Really? Because you read my mind all the time. You should know better than anyone.”
“Your mind is a cacophony. I can’t make sense of half of what you’re thinking.”
“Good. My thoughts are none of your concern. You demons should mind your own business, maybe learn a thing or two about privacy.”
He chuckled and hugged me closer, burying his head in my neck. I sighed and relaxed against his chest. This was nice.
“Oh God, what are you wearing? Or… not wearing.” Sariel made his way through the crowd of dancing students. “Aren’t you cold?”
I laughed. “It sucks, doesn’t it? That I don’t need you guys to keep me warm anymore.”
The Fallen One still seemed concerned about my well-being.
“I wear whatever I want to wear.” I stepped away from Paz, taking his hand. He spun me around. “You don’t like it?” I purred. Paz spun me faster, and when I let go, I landed into Sariel’s arms. The archangel wrapped himself around me, protectively. It was as if he didn’t want other men to look at me. And, oh… did they look! Everyone was looking.
GC danced his way toward us, expertly avoiding the chicks trying to get his attention. Sammy and Kitty knew he was mine, but they still tried their luck every time they had the chance. Their failure only made me feel more confident. Or inflated my ego, as Francis had pointed out once. Where was Francis, anyway?
I grabbed my demon, my archangel, and my false god, and went to look for my revenant. He’d found a spot at the edge of the clearing, away from all the madness. He was leaning against a tree, nursing a cocktail that probably didn’t even contain much alcohol. I jumped into his arms, almost spilling his drink.
“I’ll get you a real one.”
He smiled, slightly annoyed. He knew what I meant.
“Come on, let’s dance.”
“I don’t dance.”
I sighed and turned to GC, grabbed him by the jacket, pecked his lips, and stole the bottle I knew he was hiding in the inside pocket. Rum. I topped up Francis’s glass, not caring that the drinks might not mix well. The revenant cocked an eyebrow, shrugged, and gave it a try.
“All of it, please.”
He scrunched up his nose. “Mila, this is awful.”
“Bottoms up!”
GC and Paz were laughing their assess off. Even Sariel was smiling. As a supernatural, my alcohol resistance had increased, but not by much. I just had to drink a bit more to get the buzz I wanted, which suited me just fine. Francis emptied his glass. I took it from him and smashed it on the ground. I pulled him to the middle of the clearing, where bodies rubbed against each other on a sensual, drumming rhythm, and wrapped my arms around his neck. The guys followed us, each touching me where they could reach, rubbing against me, stealing a kiss or two. But they let Francis have this dance. It was like a mutual understanding between them. GC and Paz were used to fighting over me, but when it came to Sariel and Francis, they were more tolerant. I guessed it was because they didn’t perceive the archangel and the revenant as rivals. They weren’t as desperate to possess me like they were. And Francis… Francis touched me so rarely, that they were almost encouraging him to step up for once and claim what was his.
Things got heated fast. I couldn’t tell who’d procured the cigarette between my lips, and I didn’t care. It was a mix of mugwort, hawthorn and something that was illegal for sure, and it went so well with GC’s rum. I pushed it between Francis’s lips, and he took a drag. Before we knew it, we were all high and buzzed. The music blared through the speakers, and the bodies around us were all hot and sweaty. At some point, someone told a dirty joke and I laughed out loud. We were all laughing. Pandora took it as an opportunity to lean against Paz’s chest, which made me see
red. I stomped over to her, grabbed her by the arm, and shook her harshly. She looked at me like she didn’t understand who I was and what I was doing. And she didn’t. Normally, a human shouldn’t have had the physical strength to grab a demoness like that and send her reeling through the crowd, leaving dark bruises on her skin. I only hoped she was too drunk to put two and two together and figure out I wasn’t human anymore.
“Come on, let’s get out of here.”
Paz ran after me, yelling that he was sorry. I spun around, grabbed his jaw harshly, and kissed him like there was no tomorrow. Sariel was close by, so I pulled him in for a kiss, too.
“I want to fuck,” I whispered against his lips.
Sariel needed a moment to process, but GC was right on board. He pulled me to his chest and rubbed his hard cock against my ass. My skirt had ridden up, leaving nothing to the imagination. I felt like the little clothes I had on were suffocating me. I wanted them off. I wanted to be naked.
“Not here,” I breathed. “Down in the caves.” I pulled Francis in for a demanding kiss, then looked into his mossy green eyes. “Right against the well, what do you think?” I laughed, and it probably sounded a bit maniacal.
Francis blinked once… twice. When my words finally sank in, he shook his head, touched his temple as if he had a headache, and took a couple of steps back. I tried to pull him back up against me, but he slapped my hand away.
“Come on,” I whined. “What’s wrong? Let’s do it.”
“Mila, that’s sick,” he said.
I furrowed my brows. I wanted to spit in his face “No, Francis, you’re sick!”, but then I saw GC, Paz, and Sariel had stepped away and sobered up, too. I crossed my arms over my chest, pushing my round, half-bare breasts up. My nipples were hard under the shiny leather, and I needed a good fuck so badly.
“Let’s go to your room,” Paz said.
“No.”
“Let’s do it right here,” GC suggested.
“No.” I stomped my foot. What was wrong with them? What was wrong with me?
“Hey, we can go to my room,” Sariel tried. “You never fucked in the MDC dorms, right?”
I suddenly felt like I was about to cry. I didn’t know why, but tears were already gathering at the corners of my eyes, and if I waited another second, they’d run down my cheeks, and then they’d see them. See me. See me crying, when there was literally nothing to cry about.
“No.”
I turned around and ran. I heard Francis curse under his breath, and then I heard them all run after me. They were fast, but I was fast, too, and I had a head start. I reached the edge of the cliff and jumped. The cold water enveloped me, and it was fine now, I could cry.
I swam deep and held my breath for as long as I could. I didn’t know what I was doing. I should have gone up to the surface, not down down down into the darkness. Except… it wasn’t dark at all. My eyes adjusted to the depths of the ocean, and I saw strange fish avoiding me like I was a predator they’d never dealt with before. Maybe I was. I was swimming away from the shore and the surface, and my lungs started protesting. It felt like they were about to explode, so I released the air I’d been holding. I was moving faster that I could’ve ever moved when I was human, so I wasn’t that concerned about getting back to the surface in time. I didn’t need to, though. For a moment, I choked on water, then my body relaxed, and I realized I didn’t need to breathe, after all.
The perks of being a revenant… I was starting to believe my mantra. Well done, Mila!
I wasn’t alone. I squinted my eyes to make out something or someone who was swimming right below me. It looked like a large fish, but the closer I got, the more certain I became that it was a mermaid. Or a merman. Half man, half fish. I knew that dirty blond hair and lean, graceful limbs. Joel. What was Klaus’s boyfriend doing swimming alone in the ocean when Klaus was at the party, drinking and having fun? I lunged forward, eager to catch up with him, but also to test my incredible speed. For some reason, I moved quicker and more smoothly in the water than on land.
Joel saw me and swirled around to watch me with wide eyes.
“Mila, what are you doing here?”
Of course he could talk under water. I couldn’t. I shook my head and pointed upwards. He nodded, took my hand, and we both swam to the surface. God, he was graceful! His long, blue fish tail was covered in translucent, undulating fins, and he also had fins attached to his elbows and wrists. There were gills on his chest and the sides of his neck that weren’t there at all when he was in his human form. We reached the surface, and I took a long, hungry breath. It was still nicer to breathe than to not breathe. We smiled at each other, then we swam toward the sandy beach hidden under the cliff I’d jumped off of.
“So? Why aren’t you at the party?” he asked me as we settled on the shore.
I had my feet in the water, and he his tail.
“Why aren’t you?”
He sighed. “Klaus didn’t tell you? We broke up.”
“I knew something was wrong. When?”
“This summer. I broke up with him, actually. I couldn’t take it anymore… Hiding from his parents, from most of the students at the Academy… When he’s with his family, he’s ashamed because he’s gay and not what his parents want him to be. When he’s with his MDC classmates, he’s ashamed of me. After all, I’m just a kitchen boy. I peel veggies, do the dishes, and cook a brisket from time to time, when the cooks let me use their stuff.”
“I’m sorry.” What else could I have said? “You made a cute couple, and you were good for him.”
He frowned. “I don’t want us to make a cute couple. I want us to make a strong couple. It wasn’t meant to be.”
As much as I loved Klaus as a friend and ally, I knew he had his shortcomings. Wanting to please his family at the expense of his own happiness was one of them. I could only hope things would change for him when he graduated and became a Grim Reaper in his own right. Maybe then, he’d realize how awesome he was. Mage, Merciful Death, friend and member of my Arcane Cabal. If I was ever to defeat Valentine Morningstar, I knew Klaus would play a huge part in it. Once he understood his own worth, maybe he’d be more inclined to finally set aside his family’s needs and prioritize his own.
“Your turn,” Joel said.
I shook my head. “I feel like I’m going insane. I don’t know what the fuck’s going on. I’m just wrong in the head. Earlier, I wanted to…” I sighed. There was no point in giving him the gruesome details. Francis and the guys were right. How could I want to have sex in the cave where I’d sent my first victim to her death? “Do you think we’re the result of our upbringing? Like… not just that. The result of our environment, society, culture… Do you think we carry the sins of our ancestors?”
He blew out his cheeks.
I smiled bitterly. “You don’t have to answer that. I’m just thinking out loud.”
“If you want to know what I think, it’s pretty simple.”
“You think I’m crazy…”
“No. I think you’re suffering of PTSD. I’ve seen it in so many people, I’ve seen it in Klaus. Our families can do this to us. I was lucky, you know, but you and Klaus… not so much. They claim they’re only concerned about your well-being, but then it’s like they do everything in their power to achieve the opposite. In your case, it was even worse, wasn’t it?”
Joel didn’t know the whole story, but he knew enough. PTSD. The moment he said it, a feeling of peace and resignation washed over me. My shoulders relaxed, and I realized just how tense I’d been the whole summer. Watching the waves caressing my feet, then retreating, I started telling him everything in a low, feeble voice.
“I guess you could say my family’s fucked up. Both families. My biological father tried to kill me twice. He succeeded the second time, in fact. My mother abandoned me when I was a baby, then vanished off the face of the Earth. I’m not saying it was her fault, but facts are facts. My adoptive father hates
me. When I was little, he used to beat me and my mother. Sometimes, he put out his cigarettes on my stomach. We’re in a better place now. I’m not sure I’ve forgiven him, though.” Joel nodded, listening to me in silence. “Then Grim Reaper Academy happened. Lorna and Sariel. The monster in the well almost ate me once. Now I’m immortal thanks to it, but I have to bring it sacrifices to sustain it. Sometimes I think this is all my fault. Me and my stupid dreams of being special.” I chuckled bitterly. “I was so miserable as a kid that I thought if a supernatural world did exist out there, then maybe I could be a part of it, maybe I could finally belong, and it would all turn out great. Maybe I could have a happily-ever-after. For sure, I’ll get an ever-after, but it won’t be happy.”
“I’m sorry. It’s not your fault, though.”
I wiped a tear off my cheek. “I don’t know what to do, Joel. I don’t know how to deal with all this.”
“You deal with it one day at a time. There’s no other way.”
I let my head fall on his shoulder. “I hope you and Klaus get back together. He needs a guy like you.”
CHAPTER SIX
One day at a time. Being a revenant had its perks. Immortality. I couldn’t suffer of PTSD forever, because if there was one thing in this universe that was certain, it was that nothing – absolutely nothing, good or bad – lasted forever. Pandora had said it once. I had a tendency to forget it, but then someone would come along to remind me.
The next weekend after Mabon, GC and I teleported to the Himalayas. It took us a while to find his grandfather, Golden Calf Apis the First. GC hadn’t visited him in centuries, and the hermit liked to move around. We ended up spending the night in a horrible tent in the middle of nowhere, in a region called Sarchu, at about 13,768 feet above sea level. Andromeda, GC’s mother, had told him she’d seen him around that area last time she and her husband had visited him. Well, it appeared the old man – who probably didn’t look like an old man at all – had moved. We asked the locals, and some of them remembered a tall, handsome man with hair the color of the Himalayan sunset having found refuge in the nearby canyon.
