Of course. He understood that Gotte loved and cared for them. It was just that he’d fallen into the habit of caring for himself. He’d always had an independent streak, and it had only grown as the years had passed.
He was confident that he could and would continue to work hard and provide for himself—at least as long as he was healthy.
He had built a fine home and farm, a gut business, a productive life. But what he couldn’t do was provide himself a soul mate. Only Gotte could do that. And wasn’t life more than what they ate or what they wore? Those things were meaningless if you had no one to share them with.
Faith had someone to share those things with—she had Hannah. True, it sounded as if she’d endured her share of hardship, but her confidence, even her happiness, came from that little baby girl. She wasn’t living for herself. She was living for Hannah.
As he neared Leslie’s place, slowing to fall into the line of buggies that was trundling down the lane for the work day, he realized that he’d misunderstood his feelings for Faith. He wasn’t aggravated with her for having a different kind of business. He wasn’t irritated with her for following a different plan for her life than he would have recommended.
Plain and simple, he was jealous.
And he’d allowed his jealousy to mar what might have grown into a treasured friendship.
Which meant he had one important thing to do today, and it didn’t involve the work on Leslie’s addition. He needed to set things straight with Faith.
He needed to apologize.
Chapter Five
Faith was a little embarrassed that Leslie was insisting on adding on a room to her house.
“We don’t mind staying in your guest room.”
“It’s too small for you and Hannah.”
“But what if...” Faith stopped, trying to think how to tactfully express her fears.
“If it doesn’t work out?” Leslie smiled as she added more sandwiches to the platter they were making for workers.
The women would arrive in another hour, and they’d also bring food. Faith had been to many work days in her life, but she’d never been the recipient of one. It was all a bit overwhelming...and humbling.
“If it doesn’t work, I could always rent out the room as part of my B and B plan. And if that doesn’t work—yes, I realize it might not—then it will make my house easier to sell. It was a bit small for the average Amish family, that’s for certain.” Leslie turned toward her, placing a hand on each of Faith’s shoulders. “But for now I’m doing it because I want you and Hannah to be comfortable.”
Tears stung Faith’s eyes, and she pretended that she needed to check on Hannah, who was sleeping soundly in their tiny room. Leslie was correct that the room was small. It had initially been designed to accommodate a visiting grandchild—not as a permanent space for a mother and baby. The twin bed, small dresser and cradle took up all the available space. But Faith didn’t mind that. At the moment she could have collapsed on that bed and slept for three days. She didn’t, of course. No one would sleep through a work day at their own house—unless they were ill, which she wasn’t.
The morning passed in a blur of activity. The ring of hammers and saws, the occasional song as men worked in rhythm to a hymn and the laughter of children running across the yard filled the morning.
“Gotte has blessed us with gut weather.”
She jumped at the sound of Elijah’s voice.
“I didn’t realize you were here.”
“Of course I’m here.” He took the platter of sandwiches from her. They walked outside and paused to look at the construction. It resembled a barn raising more than anything else, though, of course, it wasn’t nearly that large.
They stood there in the bright January sunshine, shoulder to shoulder, studying the structure that was quickly appearing before their eyes—it was a work of love and grace, that was for certain.
“It’s amazing what we can do when we work together, and Gotte has given us a fine day for it, ya? We’ve much to be grateful for.”
Elijah’s voice was close, and for reasons she couldn’t understand, it caused a cascade of goose bumps to dance down her arms. She felt tears prick her eyes and murmured something about needing to get the platter of sandwiches to the barn.
Instead of picking up on the fact that she wanted to be alone, Elijah insisted on carrying the tray to the serving table in the barn.
Faith hurried back into the kitchen to retrieve the two cakes Leslie had baked. As she made her way across the yard to the barn, she realized that Elijah was right. The day was sunny, which helped to mitigate the slight north wind. The children barely noticed the cold, and the men were grateful for the sunshine. Most of the mothers and babes were in the barn setting up the luncheon.
All the people introduced themselves to Faith, but by the time the meal was over and men were returning to work, she couldn’t have remembered a single name.
“Your boppli is about the same age as my Mary.”
Faith turned around to see a woman close to her own age, holding a babe to her shoulder and rubbing her back in soft circles.
“I’m Deborah, Elijah’s schweschder.”
“Oh. It’s gut to meet you.”
“Elijah told me how you two met. Sounds like the beginning of a romance novel.” Her eyes twinkled. “Your babe’s name is Hannah, right?”
“Ya. She turned a year last month.”
“Small for her age. Well, don’t worry about that. She’ll catch up. How does she sleep?”
“Gut.”
“Then she’s getting plenty to eat. As my mamm says, if a babe sleeps well, then whatever you’re doing is working.”
“I think I’d like your mamm.”
“She couldn’t be here today as she had a doctor’s appointment.”
“I hope everything’s okay.”
“Fine. It’s a yearly checkup, and she didn’t want to reschedule. She’s looking forward to meeting you at church tomorrow after hearing so much about you.”
When Faith raised her eyebrows in surprise, Deborah laughed. “Elijah rarely talks about a woman. You’ve sparked an interest in him that we haven’t seen in quite a while.”
“Mostly I aggravate him.”
“About your job?” Deborah laughed again and switched her baby to her other shoulder. “Don’t look so surprised that he told us. As I said, not many women interest him, but you’ve certainly done so.”
“He doesn’t approve. He told me so quite plainly. He asked why I didn’t try baking or quilting... Say, are you the schweschder that quilts?”
“I am, but I also love doing it. Now, as for baking, I’m less than stellar at that. My cookies come out burnt on the edges and my cakes resemble pudding on the inside.”
Faith relaxed for the first time that day. She recognized a kindred spirit in Elijah’s schweschder. It felt gut to talk to another woman—another young mom.
“He was quite opinionated about what I should or shouldn’t be doing to earn a living.”
“If there’s one thing Elijah has in abundance, it’s confidence. He’s used to being right, and often he is. But that doesn’t mean he understands your situation.”
She reached out, squeezed Faith’s arm and leaned closer to whisper. “Don’t give up on him. He’s stubborn, but he’s one of the gut ones.”
And then one of Deborah’s other children called out to her from the other side of the barn, so she hurried away.
But Faith heard those words as she cleared the dishes and peeked at the work being done on her new room.
Don’t give up on him.
He’s stubborn, but he’s one of the gut ones.
And perhaps that’s why when Elijah found her later that afternoon, her aggravation toward him had cooled somewhat. She was standing in the living room, watching the men pass back an
d forth in front of the window. Though she wanted to be out with them, she needed to stay inside in case Hannah woke up. Most of the women had gone home so they’d be there as schoolchildren returned. Already half of the buggies had cleared out. Leslie was in the barn speaking with the few remaining women.
“I was looking for you.”
Faith startled at the sound of Elijah’s voice. Pulling her shawl closer around her shoulders, she turned from the living room window and studied him. “I had to put Hannah down for a nap.”
“Is she doing okay with all this...hoopla?”
“Oh ya. She fell asleep with one group hammering on the adjacent wall and another on the roof over her head.”
“They’re adding the drywall on the inside of the walls now.”
“I can’t believe they’ve done the entire thing in a day,” Faith said.
“Ya, we’re fast workers. Between you and me, most everyone here was happy to have a day away from the farm. You know how it gets in the winter. We all have a little spring fever.”
“Long way until spring.”
“Don’t I know it.” Elijah stuffed his hands in his pockets, took a step toward her and stopped. Blowing out a breath, he looked at her and smiled. “I need to apologize.”
“Nein, you don’t.”
“I do. The day I brought you out here, I was rude. I was being a busybody.” A soft chuckle escaped his lips. “You called me on it, and I deserved it.”
“Actually I shouldn’t have. You’d been very kind. I should have kept my opinion to myself.”
“Why would you do that?”
He walked over next to where she stood, and for just a minute, she thought he was going to reach out and touch her face. Instead, he turned and studied the row of buggies still parked in Leslie’s yard.
“So you accept my apology?”
“Sure. Ya.” She should have stopped there. A warning bell clanged in one portion of her brain. Unfortunately, her mouth wasn’t listening to any warning. She simply couldn’t resist teasing him just a little. “If you really mean it—mean your apology—maybe you’ll let me write you up a business plan.”
He turned slowly and met her gaze. “I don’t need a business plan. I run a successful business already.”
“Yes, but that’s what most businesses say until their business is no longer successful and then they wonder why.”
“I’m not most businesses.”
“So you know what you’re going to be doing in five years?”
“No one knows what they’re going to be doing in five years.”
“Surely you understand what I’m saying. Do you expect to still be installing solar panels on houses and businesses in Shipshe five years from now?”
“Yes. That’s what I do.”
She should have stopped there, walked away and gone to check on Hannah. But it had been so long since she’d had any real work, work that she loved to do, that her mind had already jogged ahead. “And how many projects did you do last year?”
He quoted a number.
“Your business has grown from the year before?”
“By twenty-seven percent.”
She didn’t need a calculator, and she’d read just the night before general population and businesses stats on Shipshe.
“Assuming that twenty to twenty-five percent of the population can’t or won’t add solar panels to their residence or business—”
“They will when they see how well it works.”
She didn’t answer that. It was a ridiculous statement and they both knew it. There was always a segment of any community that clung to the old ways—whether they were Englisch or Amish. “Assuming that seventy-five percent are willing to install, you’ll run out of work in six years.”
“What?” He looked at her as if she had her kapp on crooked.
“It’s simple math and analysis.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Of course, you don’t have to listen to me.”
“I’m not. This entire conversation is ludicrous.”
If he hadn’t said that, if he hadn’t called her ludicrous, she might have let it be. As it was, she could practically feel steam leaving her ears. “Just keep on...installing... And when you run out of work, I’m sure you’ll think of something else to do.”
“You’ve been in town all of ten days, but you know more about the area than I do?”
“Elijah, it’s simple math.”
“Oh, is it?”
“You’re obviously gut at what you do.”
“You think?”
“But there are only so many homes and businesses. At the rate you’re growing, you will run out of work in the next six years.”
“Simple math.”
“Ya. With a business plan, you can anticipate and plan for that.”
“Except I don’t need a business plan, and I don’t want one.”
Fortunately Hannah picked that moment to wake up. Her doschder might be small, but her lungs were mighty.
Which provided the perfect excuse for Faith to flee the room. Why had she thought Elijah was ready to be reasonable? Just because he’d flashed that charming smile at her didn’t mean his attitude had changed.
And as she fed and changed Hannah, she had to admit to herself that it wasn’t so unusual for him to resist. Amish notoriously went with the flow. They called it Gotte’s wille, which was all good and fine, but in regards to business Faith looked at it as poor planning.
All she needed was for a few businesses to give her a try, and word would get out that what she could provide was useful.
She’d hoped Elijah might be one of those first businesses.
That obviously wasn’t going to happen.
Well, she had Leslie. They’d already met twice to discuss how she could begin her bed-and-breakfast. She didn’t need Elijah’s endorsement, and she certainly wouldn’t beg for it.
But it would have been nice.
* * *
Two weeks later, Elijah’s mamm stopped by his place. She brought with her freshly baked bread and a platter of peanut butter bars. Elijah offered to make a pot of coffee, and the next thing he knew they were discussing Faith Yoder as snow fell softly outside his windows on a Friday afternoon.
He casually relayed the conversation they’d had on the work day—the one where Faith had predicted the demise of his business. At least he thought he sounded casual. He’d recovered from his irritation days ago.
“She said that to you?” His mamm looked as if she wanted to laugh. Thankfully, she didn’t. “She said you’d run out of work in six years?”
“She did.”
Instead of seeing how crazy Faith’s prediction was, his mamm started talking about how intelligent she was and how hard she was working to support herself.
Elijah sipped his coffee and watched the snowfall build up outside the kitchen window.
Two months, at least, until spring.
The winter seemed to stretch endlessly out ahead of him.
“Are you listening to me at all?”
“Of course I am.”
“Then tell me what I just said.” His mamm nudged the Tupperware container toward him.
He stared at a peanut butter bar, and his mind flashed back on an image of Hannah as they’d had their luncheon in the barn. Apparently she’d recently discovered peanut butter, and she had the stuff all over her hands and face. She’d looked like an angel covered in peanut butter.
His mamm tapped the table, and he looked up in surprise.
“Son, I can tell that you’re plainly smitten with this girl—”
“I am not.”
“But there’s something you need to consider.”
Arguing with his mamm was a futile exercise, so he glanced toward the ceiling, praying for patience, then motioned for he
r to continue.
“Faith has had to be more independent than most women. The fact that she was an only child and learned her father’s business started the ball rolling in that direction. Then the situation with her husband—”
“How do you know about that?”
“We had a long conversation after church on Sunday.”
“You did?”
“Ya. Women confide in one another, Elijah. Don’t look so surprised.”
He shifted uncomfortably in his chair. “Did she say anything about me?”
“We talked mostly about Hannah, and a little about how she ended up here in Shipshe.”
“Oh.” It was ridiculous that he felt disappointed. Why would she have talked about him? And why was he acting like a schoolboy with a crush? He was not infatuated with Faith Yoder. The very idea was ridiculous.
“So my point is that the fact that she has a head for business shouldn’t come as a surprise. She is carrying a heavy burden. It will be her job to provide for Hannah for the next seventeen years, maybe longer.”
“Surely Faith will marry before that.”
“Some women don’t.” His mamm sat back, cradling the mug of coffee in her hands. “Sometimes when a woman’s been hurt, when she’s learned the hard way that life doesn’t always turn out as we might expect...as we might hope... Well, it’s hard for them to trust again.”
Elijah felt a twinge of guilt, though he wasn’t sure what he had to feel guilty about. “All that has nothing to do with her bossing me around about my own business.” He stuffed half a peanut bar into his mouth.
“So what she said... You disagree with it?”
He stared at the table, picked up another peanut butter bar, then realized he wasn’t hungry and dropped it back into the container. “I don’t know, Mamm. I just work every day, do the best I can and don’t worry about the rest.”
“Ya? That’s a gut plan spiritually speaking, but business-wise I’m not so sure. Perhaps Gotte put Faith in your life for a reason.”
“Huh?”
“Maybe you should listen to what she has to say. It never hurts to listen.” She cocked her head and waited, and then when he didn’t offer an opinion, she added, “You know, if you employed Faith’s services for your business, then others might follow your example and do the same. You’re a leader in this community, Elijah, especially in business circles.”
An Amish Winter (Love Inspired) Page 6
